Little bird, little bird, little bird
Spread your wings
And fly away
Little bird, little bird, little bird
Won't you spread your wings
And fly away
Fly Away (G-Eazy, Ugochi)
X
"I'm Ushijima Wakatoshi, I'm the next ace of Shiratorizawa, looking forward to see what you can do"
Tendou remembered his sharp and short way of introducing himself. He felt like something clicked inside of his soul when he heard those words. "Those were words only correctly used by leaders", it was his first thinking, "And Ushijima is totally one", came in sequence. They felt right within his heart. Those obstinate words warmed his insides and made him accept that he would fight just for the right to be there watching and helping this awkwardly endearing boy.
Ushijima indeed proved himself a leader and a ruler, but not just on the court. Ushijima ruled the skies and everything that was high. Ushijima was made for the higher beings (but, in certain days, Satori also believed all of it was just made for Wakatoshi to reach).
But, for Satori, Wakatoshi himself was heaven in human form, like an angel with wings made of clouds.
X
"Ushijima has wings"
The first time Tendou saw him jump, the only thing he could think was that, and throughout the entirety of his high school time, it was the ultimate truth for Tendou.
Every time he saw the ace of Shiratorizawa jump to spike, he would see those beautiful wings and his heart would do this little flip, like it was happy just to able to see that. He would cherish and scream words of appreciation without even thinking about it. Seeing Wakatoshi's jumps were the higher point of his days. It was enough for him; his heart was yet to create a mess, all was fine.
Well, of course, after some time passed (Tendou was able to even count how many trainings days it took), just being able to see was not even close to enough. His fucking heart decided it was time to shake things up and it wanted so much more than only to see. Pure want for everything it could have, just for the sake of it.
His heart wanted a lot more than seeing Ushijima's incredible jumps and spikes. It wanted Ushijima's attention, little smiles when he made a point or won a set and, last but not least, that look of total bliss that appeared out of nowhere sometimes, when he was talking about something he liked, Satori was so greedy for that look to be only his. But, besides all of that, Tendou and his stupid and softened heart wanted to fly by Wakatoshi's side.
Tendou believed that the captain belonged to higher grounds like a god or an angel, and God knows how much he wanted to be there with Ushijima. He wanted to fly by his side and, if possible, even be one of his wings. Satori wanted to be and do everything to make sure Wakatoshi would always be able to fly above so he could fly with him.
Not just watch and appreciate, no, he has seen more than enough. Sufficient to even dream about or to describe with closed eyes. He wanted and would do anything to be part of that. To be the loyal guard dog of Wakatoshi mindless flight.
And he really tried to be and do that.
X
"Wakatoshi-kun, why did you started playing volleyball?"
First, he decided just watching wouldn't do any good (in truth, in a very rational perspective, it was actually screwing things), so, for starters, befriending Ushijima was the most important thing in the world. Of course, based on the very few facts he knew about Ushijima, the best way to make him talk was to throw volley in the middle of the conversation.
After questioning him, Tendou realized he was thoroughly screwed and probably committed a mistake that 1) would hunt forever, but 2) would never cause regrets.
The way Ushijima's eyes shone while talking about volleyball, animals and plants? The way he attentively listened to Tendou even though he didn't ask anything to him? Those were things that easily turn people the love of someone else's life. Those were the things (besides Semi insistent lectures, of course) that made Satori sure he got it so bad not even the Devil himself could make his life worse.
But Devil got nothing on fucking Miracle Boy Ushijima, because after the first "I'm untouchable" barrier was broken, all that was left was that damn small smile and soft words only spoken in the right moment, which was a combo that would totality do the trick to screw the poor Satori completely.
Knowing Ushijima in a more personal level seemed a very hard task but was easy. So easy and painless that, in fact, the initial astonishment for receiving an answer at all was quickly replaced to the feeling of drug addiction. Tendou wouldn't lose a single chance to speak to Ushijima, truth be told, he would even produce situations to at least say hi and find something knew about him.
They say that with great knowledge comes great sorrow and Satori was the liven proof of that. With which new detail or trace that Ushijima would let him see, Tendou would fall so much more that even the Guess Monster couldn't guess if there was a bottom.
Apparently, he could fall forever and never recover.
X
"Fuck, when I start thinking like that is because I've already lost"
When they played against Karasuno, Satori realized before the end of the match that they wouldn't win. Karasuno was made by the same love that kept him playing for three years of rough training and high expectations. They were filled with the same stubborn passion that he kept within himself. But Karasuno would win, because they weren't just protecting and fighting for some unreachable aim or god. No, Karasuno fought for themselves, like a group, each of them fighting to protect the other, to make sure that the other flight was perfect. They were a flock of crows keeping themselves alive, not just protecting one big bird and letting the rest die.
Shiratorizawa was the perfect opposite. They had a big leader and they would trust everything upon him while making sure that no one would get in his way. Tendou've always been proud of his role as the utmost barrier. As long as he was on the court, he would never let anyone muddle with Wakatoshi's flight. Of course, no one expected a shrimp and a bothersome glass kid to break through him and the rest of the team. Not even his blocks and Ushijima's force and brutality were enough. They weren't enough against pure talent and sheer stubbornness.
But, in Tendou's later study of the match, if the team was made just by Ushijimas, maybe they would have won. Unfortunately, as it was, Tendou wasn't enough to keep Ushijima flying by himself. He would need help and would never be able to watch Wakatoshi just by himself. Hell, he wouldn't be able to even fly with him. But he wanted it so bad.
God, but didn't he get it bad for the big guy?
X
"You did good today, all of us did, thank you for the defense, Satori"
After that game, the bus was almost silent, filled only with the sounds of sobs and low cursing. But Tendou was talking. It was his last team-bus-ride. It was his last chance of falling asleep and waking up in Wakatoshi's shoulder. It was the end of his only way of protecting the captain's flight and it was hurting him so bad he just couldn't stop babbling about literally anything. He needed the tired complaints of his teammates and the blank, but a little gloomy and tired, expression of Ushijima.
Satori didn't know how to cope with goodbyes, he never got the chance to keep anyone for so long and he just wasn't ready to let his love and his friends go. But no one could know that, he may have lost the game, but he still was the Guess Monster and he would never let his sadness crack through his strange and seemingly happy demeanor. He just couldn't.
Of course, fucking Ushijima wouldn't respect that and just say something like that, like it was nothing. Like it couldn't be the salvation of a soul? Damn that dense perfect boy. He was going to be the end of Tendou one of those days. Maybe this same day even.
How could he not break after that? It wasn't his chance to seat by the king's side or fly with him, but he had at least the honor to be comforted by him right after his kingdom has fallen. And maybe he was just overreacting because of his stupid unrequited love, but it all seemed so much right there that Tendou knew there wasn't any other kind of response available.
So, like the crazy and so, but so, infatuated random nature's force he was, he just leant a little bit forward, touched his lips briefly against Ushijima's mouth and cried.
Cried like there wasn't another day while laughing at the irony of it.
X
"Satori, please decide if you're gonna cry or laugh, the team can only deal with one of your emotions at time"
Tendou has never been the kind to cry. He didn't like the wetness that would stick to his face and eyes after the downpour. He would rather make someone cry than cry himself when younger. He was probably an instable kid with a liking for others' pain. His blocking ability gave him a healthier way to absorb the desperation of a lost point, but his reasoning was in the sadistic spectrum anyway, so volleyball never really managed to make things look better.
But after the possible kiss (he didn't have a lot of experience with that, but he knew for sure that that simple touch could have gone much better), he felt a snap in his lungs and a tightness in his throat. His eyes started to burn with unshed tears and all he needed was his mom and a hot chocolate, maybe an anime. And to cry. God, he felt like a barrage ready to break. Above all that, he still had to deal with whatever reaction that "kiss" would get from Wakatoshi (that is, if he was willing to give it any thoughts after such an important loss). Of course, he would do all of that while laughing too, because the whole situation was just too much. And Semi worried but also tired (and slightly sounding like an educated and thoughtful "shut up") made everything a little funnier.
Ushijima never reacted, or said anything, he simply offered his shoulder to him so could sleep in peace. Like keeping traditions was more important than to deal with anything. Like Tendou's kiss-or-not-kiss didn't mean nothing or wasn't heavy enough to break the whole tense feeing.
And, for the second time in a day, Tendou snapped.
X
"I thought you were going to do that someday, so I just waited for you to go with it at your own pace"
Tendou Satori had a reputation, which he was proud of. He was popular in school and feared for being weird. He was also the only person in the whole school body that had the guts to talk and bother Ushijima Wakatoshi at any given time and, for that, he was respected, envied and called names. He was also lectured by Semi at how masochistic he was.
He was all of that, but he never snapped at anyone. He never fought or things like that. He was simply too spirited, but in a very offensive and provocative way. But never has he actually screamed or swore at anyone.
Nevertheless, his beloved captain would be the first victim of his snaps. He snapped before that at the same bus ride, but with tears. Now, he was literally holding himself to not murder who he believes is the love of his life. A lot of scream ensued. The shocked but still rather inexpressive face he got in return was doing absurd things to his anger.
It was okay to be unrequited, he didn't need Wakatoshi to love him (he liked to believe things like this at moments like that), but he just couldn't accept a literal nothing. He needed a reaction, even if it was a curse (which would at least make him feel important).
So, he screamed some more, demanding a comeback, literally anything would do, he assured Ushijima. He lost grip of himself in the middle of his requires, started to talk about flying and wings, heaven and above. Confessed his deepest feeling without using any direct word, just metaphors and analogies.
Ushijima answered it all with just a phrase, not a single difference from his usual flat tone. An unsuspecting passenger could think they were discussing the weather or how many days until the end of the current month. It could be anything.
He acted cool and collected, like it was always on his plans. Like he was actually a damn angel just bringing news directly from heaven. Like that didn't bother his flight for even a second, because all of that was to be expected.
Like Satori was the one being dense and not realizing how he was already flying besides Ushijima.
Which, of course, was a fucking sweet dream.
X
"I never saw the need to directly point it to you, you seemed to be doing okay by yourself. I'm sorry if I was relapsed in my participation on the process of our developing relationship, I thought you just knew"
And that was the most unnerving "I also like you" that Tendou has ever heard in his whole short life, but that was acceptable, because Ushijima just said he like him too, and that meant he didn't just have the right to fly by his side, but also to sleep in his cloud-like-wings and do any other thing he has dreamt of for the past three years.
And, out of nowhere, maybe it was not just a sweet dream, but the irony and the humor of it was still on. "Wakatoshi-kun, your ways of showing you like me suck".
Being able to act like himself again was great, not greater than Ushijima's lecture-like-confession, but that was a whole new level of great.
Tendou almost fell asleep, his earlier show of different set of emotions and screams finally paying its price. His teammates shouting "shut up and go to sleep" in various degrees of offensive and uneducated. But he didn't complain or bothered to answer them, no, he was to busy having happy thoughts about flying and falling, and resurging through sky, with an angel of war always by his side.
So, finally, Tendou could fly.