Summary: Lorelai and Rory's thoughts about the situation they are in with each other. Takes place after Lorelai walks out of her parent's house, and in the time of when Lorelai walks past Rory in the poolhouse. Please give this a try :)
A/N: Okay, my light switch in my brain is just sparking with ideas left and right. This story sounds weird, but give it a try. Hey, you gotta love this title, though. Those good old' Goo Goo Dolls. I love that band :) This is probably going to be a ONE SHOT. Lol, too enthusiastic? Enjoy :).
Disclaimer: Do not own anything. Just playing with these fragile characters, here.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dont it make you sad to know that life,
is more than who we are.
Ya grew up way too fast and
now theres nothing to believe
Reruns all become our history
a tired song keeps playin on a tired radio
and i wont tell no one your name.
--Name, Goo Goo Dolls
Lorelai's POV
Walking out of that dreaded house that I spent my childhood in, was painful. Especially knowing that my parents had turned on me. I thought that for just this once, I mean, just once, they could help me. I never asked them for much, actually, I never asked them for anything. Well, of course Rory's Chilton tuition. But, that's it.
I raised a child on my own. I found a job on my own. I found a house on my own. I got money, on my own. I did everything on my own.
And, now, my daughter, my only daugher, my pride and joy, gets arrested. And, drops out of Yale. She drops out of college! That had been her dream! To go to college. Yeah, she always wanted to go to Harvard, and even though she chose Yale, either way it was a dream of hers to go to college.
I ask those hidious people, one thing, one thing, and they turned on me. For once, I had trusted them on this one. But, I guess I was over-confident in my parents.
As I get ready to walk to my car and drive back to Stars Hollow, I pass the poolhouse. The new home, of my daughter. I see her unpacking her things onto a shelf. We share a long stare, not to mention a painful stare.
I can tell she is hurting. I am hurting. It was probably the most pain I had felt in a long time.
Just seeing her, unpacking all her boxes, into a place that isn't our house. Or, isn't with me. Yeah, she had been away from me at college, but at least she was at college.
Now, she dropped out of college. She is unpacking all her stuff in a place that is neither at college, nor with me. It hurt, really bad. The fact that she was living somewhere not with me, or at college, yeah that hurt. But, what hurt the most is the fact that I am losing her. Sure, she is right there, but I can feel it. Rory is no longer with me. That person in front of me, isn't my daughter.
She isn't the joyous, bright girl I raised. The daughter I raised and gave birth to, never gave up. She tried in everything, she succeeded in almost anything. The person I spent every moment with since I was 16, was no longer here. I feel that we will never be the same towards one another ever again, no matter how hard we try. Reruns are becoming our history. I lost my one and only child.
Rory's POV
As my mother was looking in the window at me, we shared a long moment of pain. It was like my heart broke in half, when I saw the sad face on that wonderful person who I call my mother. If I would have seen the face I had on, my heart then would have shattered. Because, inside I felt horrible. I felt like I wanted to break down and cry, which is what I will end up doing, again.
As my mom walked away, I felt as if I am losing her.
My mother raised me, all by herself. Found us a place to live, got us money, supported me in anything and everything I did. She was a woman of success, working from being a maid at the Independence Inn, to running the Inn. Then, she even built her own establishment, the Dragonfly Inn. She is an amazing woman, in everything she does. And I love her to death. That's why when she walked away, I felt as if I could die, because when I am losing her, I am losing everything I ever did. Because, everything I ever did, she backed me up on it 100. She was my backbone; my shoulder to cry on. She tried her hardest to make me happy. She did everything for me. She made sacrifices for me.
And, now, I get arrested and drop out of college. I feel as if I let her down. But, even worse, I let myself down. My dream was to go to college, and be a journalist. And, I just threw that away. Everything I worked for is wasted. All, because of what that man said. Of what my boyfriend's father, Mitchum Huntzberger, the most important man in the world of journalism said to me. 'You just don't got it'. That tore my world apart. That, made me feel as if I couldn't do anything. I gave up.
And, when I gave up, that made me realize, I am not the same person as I always was. The old me, would never give up. But, I did. I don't know what it was either. I just changed, and I didn't like it.
The old me, would just shrug off what Mitchum said, and move on to the next job. Keep trying. That's what Rory Gilmore would do. And, I didn't do that.
But, what he said, just surprised me too much. I thought I was doing great, I really thought I was. But, I guess I wasn't.
My mother, until now at least backed me up on everything I did. When I told her I dropped out of Yale, out of college, she just couldn't support me. She said I couldn't live with her, she basically abandoned me. She had spent 20 years backing me up, and now it's like she dropped me off on a street corner.
Who am I to blame though? She worked her butt off for 20 years to raise me, and make sure I get everything I need, have a good life, go to college, and graduate. She wanted me to have the best. She wanted me to have better than she did. And, when she saw that I wasn't succeeding in having more than she did, she broke down, everything she worked for towards me, was gone. She was shocked, and hurt.
We will never be the same again. I lost her, and in the process of losing my mother, I am losing myself.
THE END
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Okay, did you like it? I feel that I didn't get out everything I wanted to say, but now my brain hurts, so I think I said enough. Oh, and please review. IF YOU ARE READING THIS WRITE NOW CLICK THE REVIEW BUTTON! My pet peeve is when people take the time to read a story, but then they don't review! That kills me. But, really, please review, because I am a writer starting out, and I really want tips on anything, so I can learn, so please tell me your thoughts. I love you all .