White Brume

she destroys you Jacob

Edward/Bella, onesided Jacob/Bella

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did then Jacob would be mine, eheh

N/A: My first attempt of writing Twilight, so I excuse for any lame-ness. Especially when it comes to Edward since he's too awesome to be portrayed by me. Also, this will be in three parts. And if you find some grammar- or other mistake, please tell me and I will correct them :) Thank you for reading!

Rigid drops from the leaves, falling in the air, down on the ground, like transparent portals. Portals to the real world. The world where none of us are living. None.

1: Oxygen – Edward/Jacob

In a strange, almost uncanny way, I feel regret.

For what? you may ask. And it's a coherent question. And it's now I know that I can't ignore it anymore.

I don't feel regret because I love her, since it's something I haven't chosen. It just arrived one day and made me throw away everything (honor and acumen) just to linger my thirst (raw, bottomless thirst) for her. The moment I saw her, the moment she looked back, everything fell. The edge of the metal cut through me, exposed me. And it feels so right. It's dangerous, it's exaggerated, it's wonderful.

It's right. It has to be. Has to. It's painted in pink and pink is the blissful color, erasing, diminish the thick fog.

But the way she treats him is wrong. It's wrong, wrong, wrong. She can't do this. She can't.

And I've ignored it for far too long. So long that it grew deep and wide, to when it's too late to look the chest. The monster is out. And it kills him. Slowly. Maybe it already has.

But I know that this is my weakness. That I ignore. He tells me this all the time – with his eyes. That I'm foolish. Blind. See everything in white. Pure, delectable white.

I often shut my eyes instead of realizing that she sometimes makes mistakes that make everything fall and knots swimming in my throat, sometimes she acts so oblivious, stupid and selfish that I wonder if she thinks that I always will be there, moving her out from the critical spot and remove every inch of the guilt she has inside.

Oh, she does, she does, she does.

She can't do this to him. She can't. He loves her and wants to do anything for her. He can pick down the stars in the starry-sky and grow wings to fly if she wants. Someday he has to understand that it's hopeless, it's over, he can't do this anymore.

I look at him when he surly walks around in circles; the blades of grass dancing when his paws gently touch the ground, narrowing my eyes as I try to reason with myself what exactly I feel about Jacob Black. Before, I highly disliked him since he was a menace for my struggle fighting for Bella but now – let's just say that the thoughts have merged and transformed into something else. I still don't like him, but I care about him. The stench from his fur stings in my nostrils, it's fresh, it's there but I try to ignore that as I shut him an angry glance, which he ignores with a snort. Come on, I haven't call him out in the garden just to admire his 'walking-around-in-a-circle' skills. I'm not the one to be wasting time on nothing, despite the fact that I'm a vampire, who can play with time like fingers dance on a harp.

"Do you think you're funny, Jacob?" I calmly ask and put my hands in my pockets. He stops; his warm, brown eyes look as me, still with that sarcastic sparkle in the irises that he seems to be born with. At least when it comes to me. And I know he has reasons, I took away the pearl from the clam and threw him the rest. And what would he do with an empty clam, filled with thin water? Nothing.

Go away. I don't have anything to do with you.

He moves and falls because the path he believes in doesn't exist. Only in his dreams.

It's like a game. We both love her. Before; I only wanted her to be happy, to smile. And parts me still want that. But I know that Bella spreads out like thin, thin dust that she may love Jacob too, and he grips to the branches that soon crack and make him fall to the ground.

I love you, Jacob. But it isn't the same.

He wants her to change. Before I thought it was selfish. That he had to accept the truth. But it's hard to accept the truth when someone is eager to change it, to paint starry stars in the night that makes everything look bright and colorful but in reality only covers the gray. It's hard. It is.

Jacob looks at him, tilting his head as to say and why would I listen to you, leech? He probably is.

I walk forward and hit him lightly on the nose with the side of my hand, making him stop. He stops, then transforms and still looks at me with those brown, brown eyes that surely give him an appealing look.

But Bella doesn't see it, Jacob.

"What do you want?" he growls, hands in his jeans, carefully leaning backwards to the house wall behind. His lips are angrily pouting down. He's full of despite and wrath. Maybe that isn't a surprise. These things tend to do that to you.

I slowly realize that this isn't a good idea. I have nothing in common with him. Besides from Bella.

(And that's everything.)

"Talk to you," I inform him unnecessarily, as I already told this to him back there.

"I don't want to talk to someone like you," Jacob says, copying the voice of a three-year-old kid, probably because he wants to piss me off. It does work.

"This is important", I state firmly, as the cold wind from behind touches my back. I can tell that it's cold since it usually is warmer when the sun shines on the baby-blue heaven. Cold. The cold temperature doesn't seem to affect him at all. As he walks closer to me I feel the smell rise, soon it's so near and present that I feel the urge to shove him away. The smell of flesh, skin and blood is too near and raspy (and barbaric.) I've heard from Bella that humans tend to enhance different smells. I don't. I only like pretty smells, like her smell. But she's human. I'm not.

"Oh yeah? Because it's you, the all-oh-so-important-genius that knows everything?" Jacob rolls his eyes and giggles, as he's being unbelievable funny right now.

(He isn't.)

His breath hits my face and I walk back, hitting the solid leaves with my shoes. Hear it crack.

(I erase the leaf like I erase his dignity.)

"You have to forget Bella."

He stares at me, his brown eyes shouting daggers that almost feel shilling. Just because I'm a vampire doesn't mean that I'm immune to damage, especially on the emotional kind that I've in all my life learned to ignore but not to forget.

He thinks he knows.

Usually, I feel exposed without my gift of hearing people's thoughts. I don't like to guess, it's easier to judge people by their thoughts, since words tend to be drenched in lies. But not this time. I don't want to hear it, the raw, simple hatred that lingers by the fact that I took Bella from him.

I don't want to hear it.

He knots his hands into fists. "Why telling me this? Why would I listen to you, bloodsucker? You're a liar that don't even are good for her."

I want Bella. I want, I want…

I wave his comment away like an irritating fly. "Please. I've enough of that discussion. But listen; both of us know who Bella has chosen. We can't change that. And you have to move on."

But I know that my words are meaningless. It's empty and hollow and he looks at the ground, his under-lip pouting. His eyes are bloodshot and broken and for that moment I loathe Bella's attempt of making Jacob believe that she loves him and wants him to stay. She can't do this to him. I understand that it's hard for her. But she still can't do this. Jacob acts rash and doesn't know about the line you can't cross over but he's a person with feelings. Like me. I too have feelings. We all have.

(And it's the feelings that drench us.)

"I can't. I love her." And the words are dripped with sadness, thick sadness, thick, thick sadness that drenches everything.

"She wants me", I murmur matter-of-factly. He flinches. "But she does wrong. She hurts you. Doesn't she?"

"I don't want to talk about this with you", he snarls angrily, gritting his teeth. Small puddles foam down his cheek, like rain. He tilts his head and turns his spine at me. "You hear me?" he exclaims and I jump back, his anger affects me more than I thought.

(It's the raw and undefined passion of broken hearts.)

"I'm sorry, Jacob", I say, with a voice I thought I would never use to him.

"Why? You're happy. You're fucking happy. I'm not!" he screams, then transforms into a wolf again, running off to the woods, with the tail between his legs, before my reply vanishes into thin air, disappearing into the white brume where it is forgotten, long lost in the empty corridors.

I hate you, Edward, I hate you.

(He's broken. She made him like this.)

I need you, Jacob, I need you.

She does.

(But that isn't the same.)

end