Monday, 12:20 a.m.

Lucy sighed as she pressed a button to start the tumble dryer working. She quietly padded into the kitchen and removed a bottle from the wine rack on top of their fridge. She surreptitiously set it down on the counter and opened a cupboard to rummage for a glass. When she closed the cupboard door, she shrieked to find her husband standing on the other side. The flute slipped from her fingers and smashed on the floor.

"Well done," Lee murmured. "Your parents gave us that. They'll be shattered to learn we've got an odd set."

Lucy scowled at him before going to fetch the dustpan. "What do you think you're doing, sneaking up on me like that?"

"I'm sorry, are you going deaf? Perhaps I should start announcing my presence every time I walk into a room?"

"With a face as frightening as yours, you ought to," Lucy replied, stooping to sweep up the glass.

Lee rolled his eyes and began signing rude words over her bent form. Lucy straightened and shot him the sign for 'wanker' as she dumped her mess into the bin. "What are you still doing up, anyway? Don't tell me you're still revising."

"Yeah." Lee rested his arms on the island. "I've got to, I'm already behind as it is. Apparently, watching the cartoon of Moby-Dick with the kids isn't a proper substitute for reading the book."

"And to think, I used to wonder why you never sat your O-levels in the first place." Lucy gave him a knowing look as she poured herself a drink into a new glass. She held the bottle up questioningly, but Lee shook his head.

"Better not. My head's swimming enough as it is. I'm surprised it hasn't bumped into Moby yet."

"Mmm. Just make sure you don't get consumed by it." Lucy smiled at Lee's puzzled face. "Don't worry, you'll get it eventually."

"All right, Miss Perfect. What's got you needing a nightcap at twenty after twelve?"

"Benji wet the bed again. I just got him back down after giving him another bath and changing his sheets. Believe me, it wasn't easy, especially with Charlie jumping around and calling his brother Benji-Wee-Wee-Stinks-of-Pee."

Lee snorted, his shoulders shaking with laughter. When Lucy gave him a stern look, he stopped and composed himself. "That's awful."

"It wouldn't hurt you to occasionally back me up instead of encouraging that sort of behaviour. Benji was still rattled by the time he nodded off."

"For good reason. Once Charlie gets around that schoolyard tomorrow, all the kids will be calling him Benji-Wee-Wee-Stinks-of-Pee." Lee ducked his head to hide a snicker.

Lucy narrowed her eyes at him before downing half her glass. "Honestly, you're worse than your nine-year-old son."

Lee lifted his head and sighed. "All right, I'll have a word with Charlie before I leave for work in the morning. Happy?"

"Never ask me that question if you want an honest answer."

Lee pushed himself off the counter and started to head back towards the living room. "I was being metaphorical."

"You mean rhetorical." Lucy re-corked the wine and stretched to put it back in its place. "By the way, o genius one, have you made sure your calendar's clear for Friday night?"

Lee stopped and turned to look at her. "Why? What's going on Friday night?"

"Don't tell me you've forgotten." Lucy turned and met his gaze coolly.

"No." Lee fidgeted uncomfortably. "Of course I haven't forgotten."

Lucy arched a brow.

"It's…our…" Lee silently mouthed different syllables until he caught an almost imperceptible nod from Lucy. "…wedding anniversary."

"Our tenth anniversary." Lucy looked him up and down disapprovingly. "So please make sure you have a clean suit for the night. I've made reservations at the same restaurant Anna and Toby went to on their last date night. It's quite posh – they may not even let you in the door."

"Then why are we going there?"

"It sounded quite nice from the way Anna talked about it."

"I'm glad Anna didn't start raving about cliff diving in Acapulco. You'd probably have booked that for our anniversary!"

"It's not too late for me to change my mind. I'd rather enjoy shoving you off a tall ledge." Lucy finished her wine and placed the glass in the sink. "And it wasn't Anna's idea. I just want a night out that doesn't involve service counters and plastic seats. Besides, I think I deserve a reward after putting up with you for ten years."

Lee rolled his eyes and slumped his shoulders in resignation. "Okay, okay. I'll make sure I won't have anything better to do." He strolled out to the living room just as the dryer clicked off. He plopped back down on the sofa, pulling out the glasses he'd hung on his collar. He slipped them on and picked Moby-Dick back up off the coffee table. He hadn't finished one paragraph before he felt his mind starting to wander. Lee sighed and looked down at his notes. The notebook page consisted of a drawing of a giant whale terrorizing some stick divers. He followed the line of divers down to the bottom of the page, where a poorly-sketched octopus clutched a treasure chest in its tentacles. Lee shook his head. This was hopeless.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, followed by a tentative knock.

"I'll get it!" Lee stood up with alacrity, happy to be once more diverted from his studies.

"Who could that be at this time of night?" Lucy called from the laundry room.

A spate of possibilities flashed through Lee's mind. But even his most outlandish suggestions were no match for…

"Kate," he breathed in astonishment as he pulled open the door.

His former flatmate stood on the front porch, holding her bags around her. "Lee?"

Lee's mouth hung ajar. He couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. When she gave him an odd look, he stuttered to form words. "What…what are you doing here in London?"

"I'm in town for a conference. My plane just landed four hours ago." She peeked over his shoulder before glancing around her, shuddering. "It's kinda chilly out here."

"Sorry, come in." Lee shook his head and stood aside as she trundled past him, luggage in tow.

"Wow." Kate dropped her bags just inside the entrance and looked around. She stifled a laugh. "Erm…nice place."

Lee hurriedly cleared away his schoolbooks, depositing them in a heap on the desk. He gestured to the sofa and she hesitantly took a seat. Lee perched on the edge of one of the chairs, clasping his hands together over his knees. They exchanged tight-lipped, awkward smiles.

"So," Kate said, just as Lee uttered, "How…". They stopped and shared a laugh.

"It's been a while," Kate tittered.

"Yeah, what…seventeen years? Something like that?" Lee murmured, not a little amazed at the result of his hurried maths. He appraised the woman sitting across from him. He really couldn't believe his maths because she looked as if she hadn't aged a day since he last saw her. It was the same shoulder-length blonde hair framing the same pert, youthful face. A pretty face. She still wore her grey waterproof jacket over her top, though the floral print of her skirt falling over her brown, calf-length boots struck a familiar note with Lee. He gestured to her, smiling. "You haven't changed a bit."

"Thanks." She frowned a little at Lee. He was clad, quite typically, in a t-shirt and boxer shorts, but the intervening years had made their mark on him. He was a bit wider than she'd remembered, and he'd developed a bit of a paunch. His face was fuller, older. Laugh lines had permanently creased the corners of his eyes while long, sloping wrinkles traversed his wide brow. He was wearing a pair of stylish dark frames with lenses so thick they obscured his familiar hazel eyes. His dark brown hair was flecked with grey and the beard he now sported was steadily going white. Kate bit her lip before forcing a smile. "You have!"

Lee looked down at his hands, nodding in abashment. He cleared his throat before lifting his head. "So, what suddenly brought you to my doorstep? I haven't heard a thing from you since the day you moved back to San Francisco. You never write, you never call…"

"I could say the same to you." Kate leaned back against the cushions and sighed. "Well, like I said, I'm in town for a publisher's conference. I got a promotion within my company and moved to L.A. about ten years ago. Five years ago, they decided to start sending me to these 'global publishing conferences,'" She formed air quotes with her fingers, "and so, I started coming to the conference in London. The company always offers to put me up in a hotel next to the convention every year, but I never take the room. I have a lot of old friends and family here in London, and I wanna spend as much of my free time visiting as many as I can find." She fixed her gaze on Lee. "This year, I took a chance and decided to look you up. I went to the old flat first, and thought it was hopeless when someone else answered the door. But he had your forwarding address, in case any mail came his way, and so, I got a cab out here." She looked around. "I'll be honest, when I got out, I thought the guy had given me the wrong address. You never really struck me as the suburban type."

Lee shrugged. "It turned out city life had its limits. And my job's right here in Walton-on-Thames, so the commute isn't a pain."

Kate lifted her eyebrows in shock. "You? Have a job?"

He nodded curtly, taken aback by her evident surprise. "Yeah. And?"

"Like, a proper nine-to-five job? That you haven't quit? What do you do?"

"I sell cars."

"All right, Lee! Way to go!" Kate whooped. She leaned forward and held her hand in the air for a high five. Lee, his brows furrowed, tentatively attempted to slap her hand. As they touched, Kate linked her fingers with his and lowered her arm, still clasping his hand.

"Sorry, that must have seemed really weird." She looked away, colouring. "It's just…the Lee I knew seventeen years ago couldn't even hold down a shit job to save his life."

Lee swallowed his awkward reticence and pulled a small smile. "I know. If it helps, that guy's just as surprised as you are."

He involuntarily squeezed her hand. Kate whipped her head up as if she'd been touched by an electric shock. They held each other's gaze for a long moment, paralysed by the tension hanging between them. Kate caught herself slowly leaning forward and glanced down at their locked hands. It was then that she noticed the gold band on his finger. She quickly released his hand and pushed it away, clearing her throat. "So, are you still in touch with Tim?"

Lee moved away from her, sitting back in his chair. "Yeah, I hear from him quite a lot, actually. He lives in Germany now. His firm transferred him out there about twelve years ago. But I still see him occasionally, when he's over on a visit. He's more like a brother now than a best mate."

Kate nodded. "How is he?"

"Oh, fine. Still the same old Tim. All spreadsheets and sunflowers." Lee chuckled and shook his head.

"Is he…dating, or…?"

"Married? Oh, yeah. He met a former hairdresser not long after you'd moved back. She's still a close friend, as well."

"Was she also twenty-three?" Kate shot him a wry look.

"If you're referring to her IQ, yeah." Lee frowned. "Hang on. You weren't thinking about getting back together with Tim, were you?"

"No!" She cried, insulted. She hung an arm over the side of the sofa and regarded Lee incredulously. "God, no! Two-timing Tim is ancient history. I don't miss a thing about him." She paused, then gestured to Lee. "Except you, of course." She thought for another moment. "And his family. I do miss them. They were always so nice. Especially his mom, Wendy. I know he was always dragging her along on our dates, but I couldn't really get mad about it. She was just so sweet and agreeable. And she really did make the best sandwiches. It was impossible not to love her."

"Isn't that the truth?" Lee muttered under his breath.

"They were all so lovely, though. Geoffrey, Uncle Singe, Aunt Flossie, Nana Boo, Aunt Janice…" She trailed off, her brows furrowing. "There was really only one person in Tim's family that I never got along with."

Lee shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "Um, Kate, there's something I need to tell you-,"

She held up a finger, still lost in her reverie. "And that was his snobby, neurotic, oversensitive spoiled brat of a kid sister. She just thought she was soooo important." Kate rolled her eyes. "She'd come flying in from Zurich every Christmas to dump some cheap, tacky airport gifts on everyone while constantly shouting to her boss over the phone. I certainly don't miss that spiritually-imbalanced nutcase cramping my chi."

"I beg your pardon!"

Kate turned her head in the direction of the voice, the colour draining from her face. "Lucy!"

Lucy, having just entered from the kitchen, stood with her arms folded across her chest, a thunderous expression on her face.

Lee rose and walked over to stand beside her. He tried to place a hand on her shoulder, but she angrily shrugged him off with a murderous glare. He grimaced and turned to Kate. "Kate, I'd like you to meet my snobby, neurotic, oversensitive spoiled brat of a wife."

It took Kate several long moments of gawping for her to finally pick her jaw back up from the floor. "Lucy, I…I'm so sorry, I…never would have thought…you…and Lee…"

"And you are?" Lucy snapped coldly.

"I told you, her name is Kate," Lee whispered. "She's-,"

"Quiet, you," Lucy barked, instantly silencing him.

Kate held a hand up. "Geez, take a chill pill. It's not his fault, he did try to clue me in. Lee's an old friend of mine. We used to share a flat together several years ago with your brother, Tim."

"Kate!" Recognition finally dawned on Lucy. "You're one of Tim's exes, aren't you? The American who worked for that independent publishing company?"

Kate nodded. "I am she."

"I had no idea you and Lee were so close," Lucy turned to give her husband a look of incredulous dismay, "let alone flatmates."

"Yup. For about a year after Tim and I broke up." Kate pulled a strained smile, still nodding.

Lee feigned a yawn and stretched his arms wide. "Well, will you look at the time? I've got an early start tomorrow, so I think I'll just turn-,"

"You're going nowhere." Lucy seated herself in Lee's vacated chair and pointed to the sofa. "Sit."

Lee reluctantly settled down between the two women. He glanced from one to the other uneasily. He squirmed, wishing he were somewhere, anywhere else. Both Lucy and Kate appeared to be mentally gearing themselves for battle, eyeing each other testily. Lucy was the first to break the silence.

"So, Kate, I know about your relationship with my brother. Are you one of Lee's exes as well?"

"No," Kate and Lee replied simultaneously. The response was a bit too fast, a bit too defensive. Lucy arched a brow.

"I mean, we were close friends, don't get me wrong…" Kate stammered.

"We may have shared a bed once, but nothing happened," Lee added.

"You shared a bed?!" Lucy cried, feeling as though she were going to be ill.

"It's not what it sounds like!" Lee tried to grasp her hand, but Lucy yanked it out of reach. "Look," he murmured, lowering his voice. "I told you my entire sexual history before we got married. I was honest with you then and I'm being honest with you now."

"Clearly!" Lucy drawled sarcastically. "Because this is the first I've heard of it!"

"Hey, Lucy, calm down," Kate deadpanned. "Lee's telling the truth. Nothing ever happened between us." She sneaked a fleeting, wistful look at Lee's turned head that wasn't lost on Lucy. Kate locked eyes again with her adversary. "Tell me, how did you two meet? Did Tim hook you up?"

"She bought the flat," Lee mumbled, looking down at his hands.

"What?" Kate leaned forward, straining to hear him.

"That flat you shared with Lee? I bought it from Tim after you moved out and let Lee stay on as my lodger." Lucy smiled smugly.

"Oh, I see." Kate inclined her head and shot Lee an icy glare. "Suddenly, it all starts to make sense." When they both turned to give her a strange look, she gestured demonstratively. "I mean, how else would you have ever gotten together?" She laughed. "You've gotta admit, you two make the unlikeliest of pairs."

Lee and Lucy both felt their gazes drawn to the floor as they fidgeted in discomfort. "No, we don't," Lee muttered dismissively. Even as he said them, his words carried a heavy shadow of doubt.

"I think the unlikeliness of our relationship makes it seem stronger. It really happened in spite of our living together, not because of it. You lived with Lee once, you should know." Lucy bit her lip. "Nothing was really in our favour. Tim, for one, especially wasn't keen."

"I don't blame him. He probably never took his best friend for a cradle snatcher." Kate narrowed her eyes at Lucy. "There's like, what, twelve years between you guys?"

"It's ten, actually." Lucy sniffed. "Not that it really matters."

"No, you're right, it doesn't." Kate shook her head. "I mean, to look at you now, you'd think there was no age gap at all."

Lee closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. I am in Hell, he thought. This has to be the worst night of my entire life.

To his left, Lucy's mouth had fallen open. When she finally regained the power to speak, her words were quietly menacing: "I can't believe you just said that."

Kate looked a little unnerved. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…I wanted to…what I was trying to say was, you look great. Both of you," she lied stiffly.

"I'm gasping for a cuppa," Lee suddenly said, lifting his head. He was desperate to change the subject and couldn't think of anything else to say. "Anyone else?" He glanced from one to the other. "Yes? I'll put the kettle on, then." He made a move to stand.

"No." Both Kate and Lucy stuck out their hands and shoved him back on the sofa.

Kate cleared her throat. "So, Lucy, Lee tells me he's a car salesman. Are you still…you know…working that job where you shouted at people on the phone all day?"

"Head-hunting," Lucy replied curtly. "And yes, I was, until the kids were born."

Kate started to laugh, but it quickly died into a titter when she saw the reactions on Lee's and Lucy's faces. "Wait, you're serious? You have kids?"

"Three," Lucy replied airily. "Two boys and a girl. They're asleep upstairs."

"But…Lee's terrible with kids." Kate slowly turned her gaze on Lee, regarding him as if he were suddenly a stranger. "I thought you hated them."

Lee shrugged. "I hate bog brushes. That doesn't keep me from owning one." He glanced at Lucy, who hadn't taken well to his remark. He flushed in alarm, aware that he'd just made a terrible misjudgement. He flashed a panicked smile at Kate. "Only joking. I love my kids. Just like I love Jammie Dodgers. They're sweet and sticky and leave a mess all over the place." He groaned, doubling over as Lucy delivered a swift kick to his shin. "And I can't get enough of them," he whimpered, rubbing his leg.

"Well, the kids certainly explain why your house looks so…cosy," Kate murmured tactfully, sweeping her gaze around the room.

Lucy sighed in exasperation. She'd had enough coded insults for one night. "I'm sorry, how long are you going to be in town?"

"I'm attending a conference over the next three days. But I'm staying over a bit longer to go on a yoga retreat I signed up for when I booked the conference."

Lee shook his head at her knowingly. "Still the same old vegan hippie."

"Well, it's getting late. Shouldn't you be heading back to your hotel?"

"Um…" Kate shot Lee a nervous look. "Actually…the thing is…"

"I think Kate was planning on staying with us while she's in London," Lee supplied quietly.

Lucy grew stony. "What?"

"I won't be in the way, or anything. I'll be gone early and back late during the conference, and I'll be leaving soon after for the yoga retreat. You'd hardly know I was here." Kate protested hopefully.

Lee nodded. "I don't see the harm in…" His voice trailed off as caught sight of his wife's dark expression.

"Meeting. Kitchen. Now," Lucy ordered, pulling Lee to his feet. She dragged him out of the room, turning to give Kate a faux smile. "Excuse us for one minute," she said cheerily, slamming the sliding doors shut.

Lee braced himself on the island, gazing at her evenly. "Lucy, I think we should-,"

"No. Stop." Lucy held up a hand. "I've heard quite enough of what you think tonight."

He sighed. "But-,"

"That woman is not staying in our house! You heard the things she had the gall to say to my face! I've had to practice enormous restraint to keep from chucking her out several times already!"

"She didn't mean what she said," Lee muttered softly. "She can't help being gauche. She's an American."

Lucy folded her arms, regarding him sternly. "Says the man who compared his own children to a toilet wand and a packet of biscuits!"

"At least it wasn't a lead ball and chain." He suddenly backed away when she lifted a hand to strike him. "Oi! I was just having a laugh! You know how I feel about the kids!"

Lucy lowered her arm. "Do I, Lee? Do I even know who you are after what I've learned tonight?"

"Yes." Lee looked away. He couldn't stand to see the hurt shining in her eyes.

An uneasy silence hung between them. Lucy hugged herself tightly while Lee studied the floor. Both stood apart, as if repelled.

"Anyway," Lee finally continued, "you heard what Kate said. You'd hardly know she was here. And she did let me live with her practically rent-free for more than a year. Back when I didn't have two pennies to rub together. I feel like I owe her this." He looked up, his brow furrowed pleadingly. "Please, Lucy. I know you two don't get on, but it'll only be for a few days. And if she says or does anything else to insult you, I give you full permission to kick her to the curb."

Lucy watched him for a long moment, tears brimming in her eyes. She hastily brushed them away with her thumb before slumping her shoulders in defeat. "All right. She can stay."

"Great!" Lee headed towards the doors. "I'll go carry her bags to the spare room."

"Hold it!" Lucy put a hand on his arm. "She's sleeping on the sofa."

Lee frowned. "Why not the spare room?"

"It's already been claimed."

"By who?"

"I'll give you a hint." Lucy glowered at Lee. "His first is in 'fickle,' but not in 'bastard.'"

"Charlie?" Lee smiled meekly. He sighed when Lucy merely turned and threw the sliding doors open, storming off. He watched her as she made her hasty excuses to Kate before dashing up the stairs. He propped himself against the doorframe, suddenly feeling very tired. Kate shot him a puzzled look. He winced when he heard the bedroom door slam shut. This truly was the worst night of his entire life.