Eliza meets Demonoid
[fade in to Eliza Thornberry waking up. She gets out of bed
and walks up to the small booth and prepares her cereal, then eats
quickly. she then rushes outside of the now parked and quiet convee
to find her family.]
Eliza: Hi mom!!!! what are you going to film today?
Marieanne: Me and you're father are going to tape the rare anaconda
snake of India!!!! you had better stay here. those snakes can be pretty
dangerous!!
Nigel: Righty-o Dearest!!! The anaconda is the biggest snake on earth!!
we wouldn't want you getting hurt, now would we puppet?
Eliza: Ok dad!!! I'm going to go explore the nearby jungle!!!, come on,
Darwin!!
[Darwin who is eating some cheese crunchies nearby, looks towards
Eliza, and scurrys off]
Darwin: Where are we going Eliza?
Eliza: We're going to see a real live Anaconda snake and talk to it!!!!
Darwin: *sarcastically* Good idea!!!! Perhaps we should invite him to tea,
also!!
Eliza: Oh, Darw---*is stopped short by a tiger who leaps in front of her
with a hungry look in his eyes* uuhhhh, hello, Mr. Tiger.....
Tiger: Hello, DINNER!!!! you look awfully delicious!!!!
Eliza: You don't want to eat me, I'm all skin and bones!!!! you'd much
rather have a fat chimp instead!!!!! *eagerly pushing Darwin forward*
Darwin: *struggling and cussingly furiously* you little bitch!!! how dare you
try to feed me to a tiger!!!!! *he pushes Eliza and she falls onto some
jagged rocks that slice cleanly through her side, knocking her
unconscious*
[Eliza wakes up in a place with a murky red horizon, and a carpet of
golden moss for ground and is greeted by an unfamiliar figure who is a
deep maroon in colour and appears to be a demon. his name is Demonoid]
Demonoid: Hello, I am Demonoid ruler of the land you see before you and
everything that exists. I control the past present the future. I control the
horizon and the vertical do not adjust you're tv.... OH FUCK IT!!! you are
here to be told your fate so you can prevent it before it happens!!!
Eliza: Really? I get a chance to change the future? way cool!!!
Demoniod: will you quite SHUTTUP?
Eliza: Thats not very nice!!!!
Demonoid: What the hell did you expect? a friggin lolliop? TOO BAD!!!
Eliza: Thats it!!! I want out of here now!!!!!
Demonoid: Not just yet....I rarely get a chance to ridicule the beings of
earth and now I shall get that chance!!!! now I shall bring you're little
friends here!!!!*waves his arm and Donnie along with Darwin and Debbie
appear* Now The fun begins!!!!
Debbie: Like what're we doing here? this is so creepy!!!!
Demonoid: *waves his arm again and the Debbie is wearing a clingon
out fit and the rest are decked out in starship enterprise Trekkie gear.
Donnie looks like Spock, Eliza looks like Kirk, and Darwin looks like
scottie and has his accent*
Darwin: 'Oly shit caption!!! where are we? *clasps hands over mouth in
surprise* fuck!!! did I just say that?
Eliza: yes....you.... did.....!! now please..... Spock? can you give us a......
readout of the area? Damn it!!! I'm doing it too!!! Demonoid? can you lose
the accents already?
Demonoid: I suppose... *changes their accents to normal*
Darwin: *finding a phazer in his tool belt* oooh, goody!! a gun!!!
Remember when I found you're dad's hunting rifle and almost blew
Debbie's head off? that was so fun!!!
Debbie: I remember that!!!! I'll get you, you stinking little shit!!!!
*pulls out a ray gun from her belt and fires, neutering Darwin*
Hahha!!! that'll teach ya, you stupid monkey!!
Darwin: owww!!!!! *bent over in pain on the floor* MY BALLS!!!!
ME AND ELIZA WE'RE GOING TO MAKE A FAMILY THANK YOU
VERY MUCH AND NOW YOU'VE RUINED IT!!!!!
Eliza: *Rushing to Darwin's side* Oh my gosh!!!! are you ok?
WAIT A MINUTE!!!! A FAMILY?!?!? WITH YOU????
I'd rather have a family with a walrus!!!! *shoots Darwin
with a phazer to the head and his brains spill out on the
golden floor covering* Stupid monkey!!! Alway whining and bitching!!!
Donnie: Wha?!? mmmmm!!! yummy!!! *and laps up Darwin's spilled
brain fluids on the floor*
Debbie: Oh, that was so sick!!!!! Can we go now?
Demonoid: Yes, I feel you have been tortured enough. I am satisfied
with you're little drama. now you can all go.
Eliza: What about Darwin?
Demonoid: He is dead now, and his soul belongs to me. he will stay here.
Eliza: I thought my mom told me that all animals go to heaven!!!
Demonoid: That's a load of shit!!! Where do you think Stephen King's Cujo
went after he died? To the firey pits below!!!! Bwahahahaha!!!!!
Eliza: Oh.
Demonoid: Now I will return you back to you're own dimension. *waves his
arm once more and they are gone*
[Back in India where Eliza had fallen]
Eliza: *Waking up to find that her wounds are gone as if
nothing ever happened* Wow!!! That was a scary dream!!! *Then sees
a carcass discarded with little shreds of grey fur and a striped shirt clinging
to it's barely damp bones* Hmmmm, Darwin is gone.Oh well.He always
smelled like shit and whined all the time!!!! I'm glad he's gone!!! *walks
towards some swampy land for about fifteen minutes and sees a giant
snake head pop out of the water* Oh Great!!! here's my chance to get
a real live picture of an anaconda!!!! *and lifts her camera just as the
snake is directly in front of her and opening it's cavernous mouth, she
snaps a shot of him, then the snake clutches her in it's mouth and
swallows her just as the picture falls to the ground. the snake swims off
into the murky abyss*
Marieanne: Eliza!!!! Eliza!!!! It's time to go!!! *wanders off into the woods
with Debbie who has grudgingly decided to help find her lost sis*
Debbie: *Wandering of to the swampy area where Eliza was devoured and
picks up something* What's this? Eeewww!!! it looks likes something's
gaping mouth!!!! I guess my brat sister took this pic.
Eliza is so weird!!!!
Marieanne: *walking up beside her* What's that you've got?
yyyeeeccchh!!! That's gross!!! *takes the pic and tosses it in the swampy
depths where it slowly sinks to the bottom*
[Later that month everyone has forgotten about Eliza and are very
excited when their new foster child arrives. He is none other than......]
Cartman: Aye!!!! where's my cheesy poofs?
[The Remaining Thornberry family exchange confused glances]
Nigel: Hello dear lad!!!! would you like to help me document today's
nature adventures?
Cartman: *kicks Nigel in the balls* Nature sucks!!!
I WANT MY CHEESY POOFS!!!
THE END! or not?
[fade in to Eliza Thornberry waking up. She gets out of bed
and walks up to the small booth and prepares her cereal, then eats
quickly. she then rushes outside of the now parked and quiet convee
to find her family.]
Eliza: Hi mom!!!! what are you going to film today?
Marieanne: Me and you're father are going to tape the rare anaconda
snake of India!!!! you had better stay here. those snakes can be pretty
dangerous!!
Nigel: Righty-o Dearest!!! The anaconda is the biggest snake on earth!!
we wouldn't want you getting hurt, now would we puppet?
Eliza: Ok dad!!! I'm going to go explore the nearby jungle!!!, come on,
Darwin!!
[Darwin who is eating some cheese crunchies nearby, looks towards
Eliza, and scurrys off]
Darwin: Where are we going Eliza?
Eliza: We're going to see a real live Anaconda snake and talk to it!!!!
Darwin: *sarcastically* Good idea!!!! Perhaps we should invite him to tea,
also!!
Eliza: Oh, Darw---*is stopped short by a tiger who leaps in front of her
with a hungry look in his eyes* uuhhhh, hello, Mr. Tiger.....
Tiger: Hello, DINNER!!!! you look awfully delicious!!!!
Eliza: You don't want to eat me, I'm all skin and bones!!!! you'd much
rather have a fat chimp instead!!!!! *eagerly pushing Darwin forward*
Darwin: *struggling and cussingly furiously* you little bitch!!! how dare you
try to feed me to a tiger!!!!! *he pushes Eliza and she falls onto some
jagged rocks that slice cleanly through her side, knocking her
unconscious*
[Eliza wakes up in a place with a murky red horizon, and a carpet of
golden moss for ground and is greeted by an unfamiliar figure who is a
deep maroon in colour and appears to be a demon. his name is Demonoid]
Demonoid: Hello, I am Demonoid ruler of the land you see before you and
everything that exists. I control the past present the future. I control the
horizon and the vertical do not adjust you're tv.... OH FUCK IT!!! you are
here to be told your fate so you can prevent it before it happens!!!
Eliza: Really? I get a chance to change the future? way cool!!!
Demoniod: will you quite SHUTTUP?
Eliza: Thats not very nice!!!!
Demonoid: What the hell did you expect? a friggin lolliop? TOO BAD!!!
Eliza: Thats it!!! I want out of here now!!!!!
Demonoid: Not just yet....I rarely get a chance to ridicule the beings of
earth and now I shall get that chance!!!! now I shall bring you're little
friends here!!!!*waves his arm and Donnie along with Darwin and Debbie
appear* Now The fun begins!!!!
Debbie: Like what're we doing here? this is so creepy!!!!
Demonoid: *waves his arm again and the Debbie is wearing a clingon
out fit and the rest are decked out in starship enterprise Trekkie gear.
Donnie looks like Spock, Eliza looks like Kirk, and Darwin looks like
scottie and has his accent*
Darwin: 'Oly shit caption!!! where are we? *clasps hands over mouth in
surprise* fuck!!! did I just say that?
Eliza: yes....you.... did.....!! now please..... Spock? can you give us a......
readout of the area? Damn it!!! I'm doing it too!!! Demonoid? can you lose
the accents already?
Demonoid: I suppose... *changes their accents to normal*
Darwin: *finding a phazer in his tool belt* oooh, goody!! a gun!!!
Remember when I found you're dad's hunting rifle and almost blew
Debbie's head off? that was so fun!!!
Debbie: I remember that!!!! I'll get you, you stinking little shit!!!!
*pulls out a ray gun from her belt and fires, neutering Darwin*
Hahha!!! that'll teach ya, you stupid monkey!!
Darwin: owww!!!!! *bent over in pain on the floor* MY BALLS!!!!
ME AND ELIZA WE'RE GOING TO MAKE A FAMILY THANK YOU
VERY MUCH AND NOW YOU'VE RUINED IT!!!!!
Eliza: *Rushing to Darwin's side* Oh my gosh!!!! are you ok?
WAIT A MINUTE!!!! A FAMILY?!?!? WITH YOU????
I'd rather have a family with a walrus!!!! *shoots Darwin
with a phazer to the head and his brains spill out on the
golden floor covering* Stupid monkey!!! Alway whining and bitching!!!
Donnie: Wha?!? mmmmm!!! yummy!!! *and laps up Darwin's spilled
brain fluids on the floor*
Debbie: Oh, that was so sick!!!!! Can we go now?
Demonoid: Yes, I feel you have been tortured enough. I am satisfied
with you're little drama. now you can all go.
Eliza: What about Darwin?
Demonoid: He is dead now, and his soul belongs to me. he will stay here.
Eliza: I thought my mom told me that all animals go to heaven!!!
Demonoid: That's a load of shit!!! Where do you think Stephen King's Cujo
went after he died? To the firey pits below!!!! Bwahahahaha!!!!!
Eliza: Oh.
Demonoid: Now I will return you back to you're own dimension. *waves his
arm once more and they are gone*
[Back in India where Eliza had fallen]
Eliza: *Waking up to find that her wounds are gone as if
nothing ever happened* Wow!!! That was a scary dream!!! *Then sees
a carcass discarded with little shreds of grey fur and a striped shirt clinging
to it's barely damp bones* Hmmmm, Darwin is gone.Oh well.He always
smelled like shit and whined all the time!!!! I'm glad he's gone!!! *walks
towards some swampy land for about fifteen minutes and sees a giant
snake head pop out of the water* Oh Great!!! here's my chance to get
a real live picture of an anaconda!!!! *and lifts her camera just as the
snake is directly in front of her and opening it's cavernous mouth, she
snaps a shot of him, then the snake clutches her in it's mouth and
swallows her just as the picture falls to the ground. the snake swims off
into the murky abyss*
Marieanne: Eliza!!!! Eliza!!!! It's time to go!!! *wanders off into the woods
with Debbie who has grudgingly decided to help find her lost sis*
Debbie: *Wandering of to the swampy area where Eliza was devoured and
picks up something* What's this? Eeewww!!! it looks likes something's
gaping mouth!!!! I guess my brat sister took this pic.
Eliza is so weird!!!!
Marieanne: *walking up beside her* What's that you've got?
yyyeeeccchh!!! That's gross!!! *takes the pic and tosses it in the swampy
depths where it slowly sinks to the bottom*
[Later that month everyone has forgotten about Eliza and are very
excited when their new foster child arrives. He is none other than......]
Cartman: Aye!!!! where's my cheesy poofs?
[The Remaining Thornberry family exchange confused glances]
Nigel: Hello dear lad!!!! would you like to help me document today's
nature adventures?
Cartman: *kicks Nigel in the balls* Nature sucks!!!
I WANT MY CHEESY POOFS!!!
THE END! or not?