Unstable
Chapter 1
Arrogance Will Always Be Bliss For The Dying
Alexandra Koursaki calmly placed herself at the edge of the bed, the freshly washed covers crinkling under the weight of her body. The music from the radio drowning out her cries of sadness as her grip on the razor blade tightened, making her knuckles turn an unearthly pale white. The salty tears crashed down, stinging the long deep cut that lay across her cheek. The razor glistened in the dying light of the candle that lay on her bed side table. Suddenly a large wave of pain came crashing through her, sending her to floor. Gripping her head, the music played louder and the pain grew unbearable. Her breathing was irregular and her heartbeat quickening as more tears streamed down her face in a never-ending flow. Memories washed over her as her grip on life lessened, Alex's grip on her head tightened to the point that thick crimson red blood coated her light tan hands and inky black hair. Her eyes were shut and her crying figure trembled at the memories. Love. Abuse. Rape. No one knew, she couldn't do that to her family or friends. She made a vow not to become a burden. To become a burden was to become weak but the question was wasn't she that already or was there more to come. The radio still played. Still drowning out her sobs and cries for love and forgiveness. But she knew, that it was only a dream for the arrogant. Arrogance is bliss, a bliss that she could and would never have.
Woke up screaming again
For the hundredth time
These details I can't escape
Ichigo Koursaki leaned against the thin wall, listening as music flowed from his sister's bedroom. Since the day that she came back, her appearances had become less frequent and her usual cheerful smile was replaced by a saddened gaze. She was keeping a secret from him, from everyone but he knew he couldn't pressure answers out of Alex. Over the recent weeks she had been looking more fragile than ever, like she could burst into tears in any minute. He remembered when her best friend, Byakuya Kuchiki, pulled him aside and he still remembered what he said.
"Byakuya why are you pulling me, shouldn't you be doing that to Alex," he said as the taller male sighed and shook his head.
"What is going on with Alexandra, she is acting strange," Byakuya said as his grey eyes fell towards the orange haired amber ones.
"I don't know what you- "
"She is no longer smiling, never showing emotions and being more closed off," he explained as Ichigo leaned against the wall.
"So she's…being you?" he chuckled but only got a glare from Byakuya.
"Just look after her," he said as he walked away form the orange head. He knew that something was wrong but arrogance is bliss. It was maybe best to keep it that way.
Be with me tonight
And I couldn't shut her down
Like a moth to a flame
Till now he didn't know what the older male had meant but as muffled sobs escaped the music, it hit him. She was crying and for a reason unknown to him. Walking out of his bedroom, he stood outside of the tall white door and knocked. The sound was sharp and cut through the music like a knife through butter. Listening closely he heard mumbles and louder sobs, so loud that Isshin came out from his room. Eyes set on the door.
Drawing her much closer than I can take
Crying my name
Crying like you care
She had heard them but she wouldn't open the door, letting them see her like this would just show how weak she truly was. Those three words ran through her head again. Love. Abuse. Rape. It only made her cry more and the knocking become louder, begging her to open up. Looking to the razor, that lay in her right hand, she remembered everything. The Love that she had for him only to be ripped to shreds by the Abuse he gave her after she ran way with him. She was willing to love him no matter what even through the Abuse but then it turned to Rape. She couldn't take it, so she ran away from Love, Abuse and Rape.
Closer than I can take
Crying my name
Crying it like you care
Who I am
"Alex open the door!" Ichigo shouted as Isshin kept on banging on the door.
"ALEXADRA KOURSAKI OPEN THE DOOR!" Isshin roared struggling to open the door.
If she was crying, then something was wrong. She hadn't cried since the age of ten and now being the age of eighteen and crying in the middle of the night. Something had happened but as more cries and sobs escaped the music, the sound of blood spraying across the floor cloud be heard. Both males looked at each other faces pale and scared.
"ALEXANDRA!"
Sinking feeling again
I'm so ashamed
Stop thinking you won't be blamed
Alex felt the loss of blood wash over her like a bullet to the skull. Her blood painted the floors as more of her life force escaped from her wrist. She wouldn't have to deal with the pain of keeping secrets anymore. Struggling to keep up with breathing, Alex let her head fall back as her pale blue eyes drew more tears. The knocking and banging on the door become louder and louder as her father and brother screamed her name. Arrogance will always be bliss for the dying.
It wasn't all my fault
I can see it in her eyes
Like a blade to my throat
Isshin had enough, Alex's spiritual pressure dropped so much he could barely feel it. She was nearly dead, he quickly ran and kicked the door down.
"ALEXADRA!" Ichigo screamed after the door was gone.'
She was laying on the floor, in a pool of her own blood the razor on inches away from her hand. Running over to her, Isshin knelt down tears covering his face as he rocked her body in his arms. Ichigo just looked at her shocked, he didn't even know.
Coming even closer than I can take
Crying my name
Crying it like you care
Closer than I can take
Crying my name
Crying it like you care
Who I am
Byakuya sat up from his bed, something wasn't right. Then it came to him, Alexandra's spirt pressure was gone. Getting out off bed her quickly changed into his uniform and grabbed his zanpaktou. She couldn't be dead, not Alexandra. She said she was fine and he believed when quite clearly, she wasn't. He was a fool. Rushing to the world of the living, he felt the adrenaline coursing through his veins as he ran through the dimly lit streets. Running for her.
Back to my old ways tonight
This has gone too far
I feel now that you need to go
Ichigo felt the older Kuchiki's presence but was too overwhelmed by the guilt and loss to bother. Byakuya appeared in the door way, looking frantically toward Alexandra. His prediction was correct she was dead. Walking over to her, he knelt down and touched her face.
"Alexandra," Isshin muttered tears still running down his face
Calling me again
You have pushed to hard
I know now that you need to go
"I can heal her," Byakuya finally as Ichigo looked over to him with hopeful eyes.
"Please, do it," he pleaded as Isshin placed her body down onto the floor.
Leaning over her, Byakuya quickly healed her wounds and to his amazement a pale blue glow surrounded her body bringing the lost blood back into her body.
"Alex please answer me,"
Closer than I can take
Crying my name
Crying it like you know
After what had seemed ages, Alex's chest moved and her breathing could be heard. Sighing in relief, Byakuya looked towards Isshin and Ichigo.
"What happened to her?" he asked, cold emotionless mask back on.
"We don't know,"
Closer than I can take
Crying my name
Crying it like you care
Closer than I can take
Crying my name
Crying it like you care
Then he looked toward the razor blade, sticky with thick red blood. Ichigo let his eyes wonder to where the Kuchiki's were. Suicide.
"Why did you do it," Byakuya muttered
Closer than I can take
Crying my name
Crying it like you care
Who I am