I thought the worst thing I ever would have to watch was my mother leaving me.
But it wasn't.
I had to watch my best friend lying on the cold floor of the warehouse, blood gushing form his wounds.
I had to watch as he was rushed to the hospital, as his assailant lurked into the shadows, just like every other time. My single human eye leaked tears as Beast Boy was laid in the hospital bed.
And though the vision of my human eye was blurred from tears, my cybernetic eye saw Beast Boy press something into the hands of the dark sorceress.
I watched as Raven looked at the ring, sparkling in her pale hands. I saw her eyes widen in understanding and close in grief. I saw the fear and confusion rush through her body, the shock that convulsed up and down her spine. I saw as she started to sob, how the tears ran down her ashen face. I heard everything she said, and wish to the Heavens that I hadn't.
"Garfield Logan, you idiot…don't you leave me. Not again…don't you dare leave me again."
I saw Beast Boy's sad smile. I winced as he struggled to talk.
"…I didn't leave you Metrion…I could…never…leave you."
"NO!" Raven screamed, tears cascading down her cheeks. "No! Don't you dare go Logan… please…don't leave me alone…not again…not again!" Her movements were jerky as she rushed to his bedside. She fell into his lap, sobbing into the hospital blanket. I stood there, watching him whisper comforting words into her ear, stroking her hair. I saw the only person I thought truly invulnerable to tears cry. I couldn't help but watch as the one Titan who never showed emotion cried.
Starfire and Robin watched from their corner, eyes wide.
Raven continued to sob. By the time she pulled her face from the blanket, her shoulders had stopped shaking. She continued to cry, but her mouth was set in a determined line, her face lined with worried creases.
"I love you Garfield Logan," she whispered boldly and I could feel my own eyes widen.
Beast Boy just grinned, the bandages on his face wrinkled with his smile.
"I know," he said, before grabbing her shoulders and pulling her down for a kiss.
By that time, Robin, Starfire and I had turned away, trying in vain to give our teammates a little privacy.
I knew the kiss had broken by Beast Boy's harsh coughing. His chest flew up and down, lungs desperate for air. The hacking continued long into the night.
Raven never left his side, the ring lying in her palm the whole time. When I finally gathered up the courage to ask her about before, I didn't ever need to speak. As soon as I sat down, she started to talk.
"It was in Africa." Her sudden voice shook me out of my thoughts. "I had just escaped from Azareth and flew to my mother's home; Earth." She glanced at me. "I had intended to go to New York, but I miscalculated and ended in Africa. There I met a family of animal biologists. They were the Logans, and I stayed with them until…" She took a deep breath. "Their only son, Garfield, was my best friend. We had a fight. It was so stupid. I wanted him to come outside, but he refused to leave his room. I thought that he hated me. I was so afraid Cyborg! All my life, people have hated me and I couldn't stand the thought that he hated me too. So I ran away. Then Robin found them and we gathered you guys together. The Titans. Of course, we didn't have Beast Boy then. Now I know why."
She looked at the green changeling lying on the bed. A small smile flitted across her face, the first sign of emotion. Even though her words showed so mush fear and confusion, her voice had regained its old monotone.
"Beast Boy came to us on the one year eve of the Logans death. I thought that Garfield had died with them which is why I never looked for him."
'Wait,' I thought. 'Wouldn't a green changeling be sort of remunerable?"
She must have seen the confusion on my face because Raven laughed, just slightly.
"Beast Boy didn't have his powers then. He was a normal kid. The powers must have come after I left." Her face softened as she looked at the boy on the hospital bed. "But I know this is my Garfield."
"How?" I ventured to speak for the first time since the battle with Slade, since Beast Boy was shot. Surprising me, my voice was cracked and gravely.
"The ring." At this Raven unclenched her fist, showing me the jewelry that had brought all this. It was a beautiful ring; a plain jade band. For a moment, I thought I saw a purple haze around it, but it was gone before I could blink.
"It's beautiful." I whispered.
"Yes it is," Raven murmured, clenching it again. "It was a gift from the Leader of the Tribe that the Logans stayed with in Africa. I threw it at Garfield's door just before I left." She chuckled. "I'm glad he kept it."
"So am I." The shadow of a voice came from Beast Boy, who was struggling to sit up.
Raven rushed to help him, pulling Beast Boy up and gently setting him against the back of the bed. I watched, moved by the gentleness with which she handled him. Was this the same girl who threw Beast Boy out the Tower window several times a day?
"I'll miss you." She said boldly. "Say his to Professor and Aunty for me." His eyes twinkled with amused sorrow.
"I will. They'll be glad that I found you before I…" his voice trailed off, but we both knew what he was thinking.
The night, each of the Titans took at turn talking privately with Beast Boy. Out of respect for the dead, I will not repeat what was said when I talked with him.
At 6:34 a.m. on June 23rd, 2005, Garfield Logan died. He was the beloved son of Marie and Mark Logan and friend of Metrion Roth, the name Raven used in her first days on Earth. He left behind many friends who miss him, and one young woman, who will never be the same without him at her side.
And as his pulse beeped into a flat line, I watched Raven slip the jade ring onto her finger.
It fit perfectly.