He's gone. He's gone. He. Is. Gone.
Those words continued to run through my mind, consuming my every thought, taunting me until it was all I could think about. I walked into my room almost absentmindedly, trying desperately to think of other things, anything to keep my mind off of that. I needed to pick up Ponyboy after school today -
He's gone.
No, he had track practice. That would mean he'd be late -
He's gone.
Huge number of things I need to have done. Laundry -
Gone...
- picking up after Two-Bit and Steve -
He's not coming back...
Gotta go to work early -
He's dead, and he's not coming back!
I gotta... I gotta -
GONE! DEAD!
With a cry of fury, I wheeled myself around and punched the wall. Hard.
We regret to inform you... Sodapop Curtis... MIA... presumed dead...
I cried out again as I hit the wall for the second time, pain shooting up my hand and arm -
Dead... Sodapop...
I punched it again, harder then the first two. My hand cut open and blood began seeping out slowly, leaving traces on the pale-white wallpaper, but I didn't care. I ignored the pain and continued.
Dead...
A loud sob escaped my lips as I slammed my fist against the wall yet again, tears finally running down my face. Blood was dripping, falling onto the rough carpet -
...gone...
My hand went numb. I stood there or a second, panting and crying and shaking, and stared at the bloody mess on the wall caused my my split knuckles. Suddenly, I was dizzy. I turned and half-walked, half-stumbled over to the corner farthest away from the door and turned my back on it. Leaning back, I felt the wall hit my back softly, and I slid down it onto the floor. I chose this spot in case Ponyboy were to come home and come looking, he wouldn't spot me so easy. From where I was sitting, my bed blocked out all the view of the doorway.
More tears fell, and another sob managed to push past the lump in my throat I was trying without success to fight down. I was disgusted at myself for not being able to be stronger, not being able to not cry. In a way, I believed it when people say Greasers don't cry, they can't cry. It would show that you were weak and helpless, and I couldn't afford to be either.
But I couldn't get my body to react to what I wanted it to do, and finally just gave up, cries and sobs pushing past the lump like a dam had broken inside of me, tears flowing out of my eyes, unstoppable. I tucked my knees to my chest and unwillingly let myself cry.
He's gone...
I have two choices: let this be a one-shot about Darry's feelings of Soda going MIA or possibly KIA, or have it a couple more chapters long to include Ponyboy in this too. Personally, I'd like to add more chapters, but that's for you to decide.
Please tell me what you think: Was it good? Did it make you cry? Should I continue? Review to me what you think? I like getting early Christmas presents in my mailbox!