I got this idea a couple days ago when I was dragged to the grocery store. I was staring at milk cartons with an anime style "I'm so bored, why the fuck am I here?" face, when suddenly…I saw it. No, not your mom doing disturbing things over by the sausages again. Something else. Are you ready for this? There was a carton of milk that said in huge letters "ARE YOU LACTOSE INTOLERANT?" and for some reason I thought about what would happen if Itatchi were lactose intolerant for some reason…I have no idea why.

I don't own Naruto, your mom does.

Deep inside the BOWELS, the gross smelly disgusting BOWELS, of the Akatsuki lair, Itachi was sitting in the evil kitchen of doom, eating the Froot Loops of the damned. Suddenly, the lactose intolerance fairy shows up! The lactose intolerance fairy isn't really a fairy, just a giant radioactive moldy piece of cheese that smelled so bad you can actually see the stink lines.

"ITACHI!" It yelled in a voice that sounds like Fred Figglehorn. "IT IS TIME YOU ACHIEVE YOUR DESTINED DESTINY THAT IS DESTINED FOR YOU!"

ABCDLMNOP POOF! Itachi is now lactose intolerant. Of course he doesn't believe it. The moldy green stinky cheese smashed through the lair and galloped away into a happy meadow of HAPPINESS!

"Foolish dairy product. It lacks hatred." Itachi stated. Oh how wrong 'Tachi is… that cheese is evil EVIL I TELL YOU! This is all just the beginning of it's plans for world domination!

"ITACHI-SAN!" Tobi yelled and skipped into the evil kitchen of doom. "IT'S TIME FOR A SUPER SERIOUS MEETING THAT CONVIENTLY STARTS IN 5 MINUTES!" The two of them walked to the super serious meeting. As we all know, super serious meetings involve long periods of dramatic silence. Poor newly lactose intolerant Itachi. He's DOOMED, DOOMEDS I SAYETH!

Soon, all the Akatsuki members were in the dark meeting room that screamed WE'RE BADASS AND LIKE TO PLAY WITH PINK TEDDY BEARS! Or something like that…you never really know with those crazy whippersnappers…

"Ok, the super serious overly-dramatic meeting is about to commence." Pein said, trying to hide the fact that he's clutching a pink teddy bear under his robe. Suddenly, a loud noise sounded throughout the universe.

FLARPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! Itachi farted. HAHA Itachi! The disgusting green gas spread throughout the room, and everyone was dying, because it smelled so bad.

"Itachi, you're not going to WEASEL your way out of this one!" was Pein's final words, before he died. Everyone else died after, even Itachi. On his grave it said:

Let it R.I.P.

Uchiha Itachi

Died from smelling his own fart

After that, the cheese lactose intolerance fairy type thing ruled the world since everyone died, and the only life from that point on were random blobs of cheese! THE END!

Sorry for scarring you guys for life, I've been awake 30 hours as I type this. Well…uh…review and shit like that!