We Are Gathered...
Summary: Wedding crack!fic. This is absolutely ridiculous, and you've been warned.
A/N: lms2457 gave me this idea about a year ago during a six week stay in and near a hospital that was a significant distance from my home and family. She threw this bunny at me on a day I was having a really difficult time. It made me laugh, when even Castle and Big Bang couldn't. The least I could do was share the fun, even if it took me a year to get it together. :)
For Li, who can make the worst of days joyful.
Castle tugged at the neck of his uniform again. This had to be the most uncomfortable and ridiculous thing he had ever worn, but for Kate, he would do anything. She wanted this Nebula Nine Fan Experience wedding, so who was he to argue?
So here he stood, wearing a Nebula Nine Uniform, and waiting on Kate by the Captain's Chair. The romantic theme from the show played over and over again through the speakers, and he was getting a little concerned about where everyone was. It was strange, after all the time spent planning this thing, and he was the only one here.
"About to attach the old ball'n'chain, are you?"
He looked in the direction of the voice, and saw a balcony attached to the wall with two old men sitting in it. "I'm not sure if I'd call it that," he answered.
"I'd definitely call it something!"
"Yeah, the end of life as you know it!"
The two men laughed at their joke, and Castle ignored them while he continued to wait.
"Are you sure she's on her way? Looks like she abandoned ship!"
"I know I would! What kind of monkey suit is that, anyway?"
The door opened and some guy in a long white coat and goggles, holding what looked like some sort of phaser rifle, stormed inside with a herd of white, blood-thirsty rabbits. He laughed dramatically, then sang, "With my freeze ray, I'm gonna - STOP - your world!"
"What the hell is going on?" Castle demanded, "This is crazy!"
One of the men in the balcony spoke up, "No, this isn't crazy - you are!"
Even the rabbits were giggling, and the guy in the lab coat shot both men, freezing them in place. He laughed again and said, "I'm crashing your wedding, Captain, and taking over the ship! Where is your crew? They answer to me, Dr. Horrible, now!"
Castle stared at the guy, who was now pointing that evil-looking gun at him. "I'm not - there isn't - THIS ISN'T A REAL SHIP!"
He looked a bit confused and seemed to be gathering his thoughts. "Not a real ship? Are you sure?"
Castle swallowed hard as the rabbits circled around him and began closing in. He wasn't sure what was more terrifying, them, or Dr. Horrible. "Yes, I'm sure, and what kind of name is Dr. Horrible?"
He heard the weapon power up and steeled himself for the coming shot.
Then, someone dressed as a walrus crashed through the ceiling. "Sorry I'm late," he said as he landed, "I needed a little help from my friends to get here." His tone and inflection sounded familiar, and Castle tried to put a name with it. It was one he should have known, but given the situation... yeah.
Dr. Horrible turned his attention to the other guy and stumbled backward. "Who are you?"
"I'm here to save the day, man." A silver hammer appeared in his hand (flipper?), and he flung the thing at the doctor, hitting him squarely on the head. The rabbits immediately retreated as Dr. Horrible went down, and Walrus Guy walked over and hit him with it again.
He turned to Castle and said, "That was to make sure that he was dead."
"I, uh, see," Castle watched as the guy pulled Dr. Horrible's body to the side of the bridge, and was more than ready for all this insanity to end. He pinched himself and it hurt, or at least he thought it hurt, so it couldn't be a dream.
"I think we're safe now," the guy said, and took off his mask.
Castle was sure his jaw hit the floor and bounced. Sir Paul McCartney was in the walrus suit.
"It's such an honor to meet you, Mr. Castle," he said, offering his hand, "I'm a huge fan - I've read all of your books!"
He shook McCartney's hand, totally at a loss for words.
Sir Paul spoke again, "Oh, and Kate wanted me to tell you she shall be arriving soon," he looked at his watch, "And I should get ready."
"Ready?" Castle finally managed to find words, mainly because of curiosity. "Get ready for what?"
With a smile, he pulled out a Bible from a pocket in the walrus suit. "I'm officiating. Didn't you know?"
Castle stumbled back and fell into the Captain's Chair. What was going on here?
The fanfare to "All You Need is Love" began playing and the doors to the Experience opened. He could see Kate's silhouette against the bright lights.
"CASTLE!" she yelled, not sounding happy at all.
"What?" Why was she mad?
The ship shook, like they were being attacked. Again. How could this get worse? What was next, Klingons? Voldemort?
"CASTLE!"
He sat up, blinking, and sucked in a deep lungful of air. It took a moment before he realized he was in bed. At home. Safe.
"What was that all about?" Kate asked, "Were you having a nightmare or something?"
He opened his mouth to tell her, but thought against the idea. This was something he would hear about for the rest of his life. "Yeah. Nightmare."
"Wanna talk about it?"
He snuggled into Kate and said, "No, not really." All he wanted to do was let go of all the crazy that previously took over his mind.
After a moment, he asked, "They, uh, they closed the Nebula Nine Fan Experience, right?"
Kate's brow furrowed as she looked up at him, "Yeah, why?"
"No reason, just needed to be clear on that."
The look Kate gave him was priceless, and he had never felt so relieved in his life.