Disclaimer: Although we're fabulous, we're not as fabulous as the Queen J. K. Rowling!
Later on in the story, George will be telling a story, which is in italics, so you won't get confused.
It was Hermione's wedding day and she stood in front of the full length mirror staring at herself and picking at the bundles of lace with her bridesmaid Ginny, behind her.
"Hermione," Ginny started off seriously. "I'm very serious."
"NO I'M SIRIUS!" Sirius popped up in the doorway grinning like an idiot. Ginny threw a ball of yarn at his face.
"WE'RE CHANGING!" she yelled.
James popped up behind him confused. "So?"
She threw the whole basket this time. Lily came up behind them, grabbed them by their ties and yanked them out.
"What were you saying?," Hermione asked glaring at the door as if expecting someone else to pop up.
"I was saying, there's still time. You don't have to marry my git of a brother also known as Ron. If you need to escape, just give me a signal, I'm right here for you, and Harry as well. I've informed him. He has the broomsticks ready."
Hermione shook her head and sighed. "There's only an hour left."
"There's always time left," Ginny declared dramatically.
Harry popped up. "Ginny did you just quote a muggle movie?"
Ginny picked up her chair and held it up threateningly. "Harry, get out!"
Poor Harry ran off faster than his broomstick, wondering how his dad and Sirius lived with this.
And then George walked in-well swaggered in-and held up his hands in surrender as he saw his sister holding up a chair, and let out a low whistle as he saw Hermione, before she pointed her wand at him. And surprisingly, the wand was scarier.
"What do you want?" Hermione seethed out.
"Hey! You're future husband sent me here, saying you'd probably be very, very nervous about marrying someone as h-h-ot as him," George said as he mimed throwing up. "And Ginny here, HAS to leave."
Ginny raised her eyebrows, but she put down the chair. George gave her the trademark Weasley signal, which was basically eyes bulging, and head shaking, pointing frantically toward the door, while Hermione stared on, kind of scared and wondering how she'd survive in the same room as him.
Ginny rolled her eyes and turned to leave, before being stopped by Hermione.
"Could you get me that large stick please?" she asked smirking at George. "The one George here knows about?"
George visibly gulped.
Ginny grinned and tossed her the stick, before finally walking out.
"Okay!" George grinned toward a cautious Hermione, who looked pretty silly in her wedding dress holding the stick, ready to strike. But she was Hermione, so she could pull it off.
"I'm here to tell you the best story ever!" he said enthusiastically.
She stared. She opened her mouth, but George began before she could say anything.
"Once upon a time, Hermione was depressed. But she was still looking hot- OW! I meant cold! Cold as ice- OW!
So depressed, that somehow, she had become engaged to the youngest male Weasley. Ron.
She was that depressed.
You may be asking yourself, why was she that depressed? Well that was because, the amazing, talented, good-looking, funny, love of her-"
"GEORGE STOP IT!"
"Anyways, Fred had died. Straight to the point.
So there was poor, poor Hermione, weeping in the corner, because poor Freddie had-"
"GEORGE SHUT UP!"
"So yeah.
Obviously Hermione was in deep, deep, deep, deep depression, because instead of marrying the amazingly handsome Fred Weasley-
Wait, he was dead.
Oh well! Anyways, instead of marrying his amazing twin, she had to go off and marry… ugh, Ron."
Hermione raised an eyebrow, wondering if someone had fed him some sort of laughing potion, before he came. Because why else would George joke about his twin's death? Shouldn't he be depressed? Now that she thought about it, he hadn't been upset at all. Almost as if... George caught her reaction and broke into a series of fake sobs.
"So- OW! HERMIONE YOU CRAZY- OW! I MEANT GOOD CRAZY NOT BAD- OW! NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE!"
George pushed himself against the wall, using the chair Ginny had raised for protection.
"Well that was interesting. Hermione, please put that stick down," he said from behind the chair. "I SAID PLEASE! Much better."
At that moment Molly walked in to get Hermione, and poor George was in the corner hiding behind a chair, not even noticed by his mother. All she said was, "George leave Hermione alone," and with that she walked out, leaving him gaping.
A few minutes later...
Hermione walked down the aisle. Ginny was standing by the door with Harry who had 3 broomsticks stashed behind him for an emergency exit. James and Sirius were on either side of the cake, guarding it, eying the guests suspiciously. Lily and Remus were on the other side of the hall pretending they didn't know them, which was hard because whenever someone came near Lily, James yelled, "THAT'S MY WIFE! BACK OFF!"
Hermione honestly couldn't believe that this was her wedding.
The priest began with all the unimportant mushy stuff that everyone usually sleeps through.
When the minister asked, "Does anyone object?" George Weasley ran down the aisle and yelled, "I OBJECT" at the top of his lungs.
Hermione raised her flower bouquet, and knowing Hermione, she'd probably make it into a weapon, he frantically shook his head so fast he got neck cramps.
"Not like that," he squeaked out. "I only meant that we should cut the cake first. I'm hungry!" he said sounding like a five-year old.
"HE'S A SMART BOY!" Sirius yelled and James nodded approvingly. Lily sighed, "I married a five year old," she thought.
Hermione whipped out her wand ready to hex him, but Ron stopped her. "Wait, it is a good idea. Cake first."
With that, the soon to be couple walked over to the tall, tall, tall, cake where Lav-Lav stood, her eyes red from crying.
She tried to glare at Hermione, but stopped when Hermione picked up the knife, and instead made a pouty face at Ron.
"Won-Won, why?" she cried out.
"That's what we've all been asking Lav-Lav," George replied solemnly.
Hermione rolled her eyes, wondering, not for the first time, whether or not she should marry Ron. Ginny and Harry were still by the door, and Ginny was already on her broomstick...
She shook her head and raised the knife, but just as it touched the icing… it exploded. Everyone was knocked backward and Hermione could make out someone laughing.
All of the guests lay shocked on the ground, except Hermione, James, Sirius, George and Lavender. Because not even cake would dare touch Hermione, James, Sirius and George was in on the plan, and Lavender had jumped behind Won-Won who had gladly taken the blow for his Lav-Lav.
Hermione had her back to the cake and she whipped out her wand pointing it at George, James and Sirius, who were all laughing. "How dare you-" she broke off as a smirking George walked forward, grabbed her shoulders and spun her around.
Her mouth dropped open in shock.
On the table, covered in icing, stood none other than Fred Weasley who smirked down at her.