Writing a full out angst story because I'm angry and sad and everything in between. So here's a pretty little story with all my common feelings. Some Megaforce ranger-centric emotions.
With love, IAmForReal
I. The Sorrowed
Troy feels angry because he's a disappointment.
To everything. And to hell with everything! Because he doesn't want to care. It's engraved in his veins and he's always going to care too much. He wants to take a bottle of wine, take it down with one swig, and swear up to the sky. But he can't, he's declared prematurely.
He's a disappointment to his mom. She breaks her back so he lives comfortably, and there's nothing he can do to ease her pain. He's a disappointment to his dad. He's always been, that's why he left them (it may just earn him an extra bottle of wine). He's a disappointment to the Power Rangers, the freaking Power Rangers legacy that he was cherry picked for and didn't want, but needed. He's not the best leader, and no matter how hard he'll try he's stuck. He's a disappointment to Emma and Jake and Noah and Gia and he's sorry that he causes so much trouble.
Oh yeah, that's another reason he feels angry too.
II. The Failed
Emma feels angry because she can't be what everyone wants.
People want her to be well rounded and have talents of brilliance, but also modest, but also hungry to be at the top, and they want her to have good grades and dress appropriately and eat everything and sit up straight and give proper monotonous answers to her family. It's a confusing life and Emma Goodall wants no part of it.
She plays in the dirt and doesn't want to be at the top. She's never going to aim for a 5.0 GPA, no matter how many AP classes her mom makes her take. She wants to slouch and refrain from meat and say what she wants in front of her family. Because they don't know how much she yells in her pink room. They don't know that she cries because of them. They don't know that she runs around in pink spandex saving everyone's butt.
Because she's selfish, worthless, inconsiderate, and a failure. And she hates thinking she deserves more rather than being grateful.
III. The Secured
Noah feels angry because he has borders.
He sucks at everything, he's clumsy, and he may get good grades but he's not smart. He's a naive little boy and knows he'll never make it in the real world.
So he stays in his room all day, a box of roaring thoughts and ideas that give him comfort. It's his sanctuary, and he feels like Noah Carver only in this room. No coward, no boy, no scared child...he's Noah, the person he can dream to be.
He's angry that he never took chances to be more. That was on him. He'd rather be safe than sorry, but he's still going to get hurt. Even in the little room of his.
IV. The Isolated
Gia's angry because the universe wants her to be alone.
People led a path when she would walk down the hall. People loved her. But she recollected the fact that by senior year, the people who told her she was amazing didn't care for her to be her friend. She could've been dead and people would still go on with their day. Would people really notice her absence? Would people know she was gone?
She was just another person in this world, so why were the world's people pretending she was special? They needed to stop kidding themselves, stop playing games. She wasn't special and she didn't need to be, even if she was extremely individual to the public eye.
She doesn't want to be special. She wants to be important.
V. The Unspoken
Jake feels angry because he can't talk.
He has lots to say, lots of things one side would be fascinated to hear and the other would be appalled to. In his world, he is fearless, being inspirational on tabletops and chairs. In his world he changes lives. But he made the choice long ago. He was going to be outgoing to mask his inability to speak. Because he couldn't. He had been told that there was no right or wrong to say. But that was, and probably will be, the biggest lie he ever heard.
He cowers from the nature of words because he fears (he knows) that a joke he makes or whatever string of letters come out of his mouth has the full potential to hurt someone. He may be confident, but he will never take that risk.
He may be angry but it's for the best.
VI. The Independent
Orion feels angry because he was destined to be alone.
He never told anyone, but his biggest eternal fear was driving everyone away. So he imagined: what was he going to do when everyone was gone? From a young age, he prepared for everyone to leave.
He may have been a lonely person, but he had no one but his family. And one day, he knew for a fact that he'd be alone. And he had dreamed of the day people would swarm him and cover him with blanket love and assure him that they were to stay.
The day of the attack tells him that he was right. Wasn't it right to prepare and fear?
He didn't want to be alone.
~X~
They could be the most heroic people in the world or the most terrible. Either way, they feel messed up together and they cry at empty white ceilings while dancing in the invisible dark.
They're allowed to be freaking angry with themselves and the universe sometimes.
Aren't we?