A/N: Just a silly fic that I thought up. As much as I wanna put this under 'romance', it isn't quite there (at all.) So, friendship will have to do.
...But I think of it as pre-slash.
I own nothing, I just borrow Cain and Glitch so they can kiss and cuddle, which I don't really think they'd really object to anyway.
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It was a good hour for Cain. That one hour (and sometimes an extra half hour) after work he had and right before joining the royal family for supper. He stretched out on the stone bench in the newly grown royal garden, letting the small of the roses drift over him. He lowered his grey fedora over his eyes, preparing for a nap.
When suddenly he heard a distinct shuffling next to his head. Someone had quickly walked by on the path. The tin man tilted his hat up to see a rose bush tremble as someone passed behind it. Curiosity aroused, he slid off the bench and went to the rose bush, carefully drawing back the thorny veil.
It was Glitch, the zipper-headed inventor, puttering around the base of a large tree. He appeared to be carrying a box, much like a shoebox, and he kicked pitifully at patch of dirt. He kicked his foot at the ground again, accidently hitting the tree this time, and leaves rained down, getting stuck in his crazy spirals of brown hair. Glitch looked up, as if wondering why the tree just threw things at him.
Too many fairly tales, that guy, Cain thought, and smirked slightly at Glitches cute befuddled expression. He jerked himself out of the thought and plastered a frown on his face.
"…What are you doing, Glitch?" Cain asked slowly, not wanting to startle his absent-minded friend.
"Oh! My, Cain! I…I didn't see you there. Standing there, that is. I saw you on the bench, I thought you were asleep, but I guess not. Sorry for waking you up!"
Cain accepted the rushed and unnecessary apology with a nod. "What are you doing?" He repeated, stepping behind the large bush as well to get a better look at the box Glitch was holding.
Glitch turned not-so-discreetly around so Cain couldn't see it. Cain walked in front of him. Glitch turned around again. And again. And again. And again. Eventually Cain gave up and stood back a moment to watch the head-case spun around in frantic circles.
"No! Get away from me, Cain!" Glitch yelled indignantly, squeezing his eyes shut and clutching the box to his skinny chest as he continued to walk in circles. Cain wondered if he should just leave. But that would be cruel.
The ex-cop stuck a hand out and planted it firmly on Glitches head."Glitch, you're going to give yourself vertigo or something." He snapped, and Glitch abruptly stopped twirling.
"Vertigo? O-oh dear." He looked at Cain for a second, then at the tree, the rose bush, the box, and back to Cain again. "Cain? What was I just doing?"
"That's what I was wondering." The man let go of Glitches head, and jerked his thumb at the box. "What's in there?"
"In…here? Oh. I don't have a clue." Glitch curiously lifted the lid of the box to look inside. And screamed.
Well, it was more of a yelp of surprise, as he dropped the box, spun around, ran into Cain, got up, and hid behind the blond man. The poor advisors synapses must have been mis-firing at an impressive rate, as Glitches mouth was moving, but no sound was coming out.
"What in Ozma's name-…"Cain stepped carefully towards the box, and Glitch did too, being attached to Cain's coat at the moment. He picked up the box, and slowly lifted the lid. Inside was a dead squirrel.
Glitch moaned in horror. "Ooh, I remember now!"
"There's a logical explanation as to why you have a dead rodent in this box?"
Glitch nodded. "You know how outside my bedroom window, there's that biiig tree?"
Cain didn't know, but nodded anyway.
"Well, squirrels live in that tree. I like watching them sometimes…And this morning, the cook's horrible little cat just attacked those poor squirrels! He got this one. But I shooed him away before he could eat him." Clearly Glitch was slightly traumatized. He gazed at the box in Cain's hands and sighed dramatically. "Poor little guy didn't stand a chance. He has children, you know!"
"And he's in this box because…?"
"I…I thought he deserved a proper burial." Glitch finally let go of Cain's coattails and took back the box, closing the lid tight. "But all the ground here is too hard. I didn't wanna dig up a flower bed or something either." The zipper-head got that sad look on his face as he kicked the hard ground. "So… I don't know what to do with him. I don't know what to do with him. I don't know what to do with him."
Cain ignored the glitched speech, and looked around for a moment before walking off out of sight.
Glitch pouted fiercely and waved a hand angrily at Cain's retreating back. "Ooh, this is just like you, Cain! Walking off when it comes to matters of the heart! No…of the SOUL!" He flailed his arms in frustration.
Cain came back a second later holding a shovel. "Hold your synapses, Glitch, I'm right here." He muttered, shoving the shovel in the ground.
Glitches look of anger broke into a large, ear-to-ear grin as Cain dug up a decent sized hole. "This big enough for that box?"
Glitch looked at it. "Weeell…wild animals might dig him up and eat him…"
"Glitch, there are no big wild animals in the royal garden…" Cain trailed off as Glitch gave him a hurt look. Cain growled in exasperation and dug the hole deeper.
As Cain leaned the shovel against the tree, Glitch shoved the box at him. "Be right back!" He promised, hopping off. He came back soon after holding three daisies. He handed one to Cain as he took back the box.
"What…?"
"It's what they do at funerals, right? Right? Right?"
Cain couldn't decide if Glitch was glitching or just being annoying. He settled just to glare at the man's back and he stooped to put the box in the new grave.
"Would you like to say a few words, Cain?"
This caught the tin man by surprise. "Uhh…" Looking at Glitch, he knew there was no way out of this. "Uhm…I hardly knew you…but…uh…rest in peace." He chucked the daisy in the hole.
Glitch seemed satisfied. "Mr. Fredrick…"
"Fredrick?"
"It doesn't seem fair he dies without a name!" Glitch argued, cleared his throat, and continued. "Mr. Fredrick…I knew you only a short time and I know your wife and kids will be sad without you, but I'll keep an eye on them and make sure that cat doesn't come near your tree again. You were my best friend." He carefully placed his flower on the box.
Cain went to shovel dirt back into the hole. He had been doing so only a few seconds before he heard a sniff. He paused a moment and when it didn't happen again, he continued shoveling. Another sniff.
"Glitch!" Cain turned around, only to be assaulted with a bawling Glitch.
"W-wh-why do the good have to die so young?!" The former advisor wailed into Cain's coat.
Nearly knocked off his feet, Cain stabilized himself and awkwardly patted the man's zippered head. "Uh…hey...he was probably an old squirrel anyway, right? That's why he got caught. He, uh…it was his time to go." Cain really stunk at comforting people.
But it seemed to comfort Glitch, who sniffled and let go of Cain's coat. "You think?"
"Yeah, sure. Whatever." Cain turned around so Glitch wouldn't see him roll his eyes. He took the shovel and went off to go return it to the gardener he'd stolen it from. Glitch, much to Cain's dismay, followed.
After returning the shovel, Cain, still ignoring Glitch, turned around to head back to the palace for dinner.
"Hey, Cain?" Glitches cheerful voice called from behind him.
"Yeah."
"You're my friend, right?"
"Of course I am."
"Well…can we be BEST friends?" Glitch asked hopefully. Cain paused, and turned his head to look at the forgetful man.
"Why?"
"My last one just died."
Cain resisted the urge to laugh, for Glitches face looked sad for a moment before flickering back to hopefulness. He did look rather pathetic, with his spirals of hair serving as a home to several leaves, his pale skinny face smudged with a little dirt and alight with happiness even if he was trying his best to look sad. If Glitch was back wearing his old tattered clothes, Cain would have suffered from massive déjà vu.
"Yeah, sure, Glitch. We can be best friends."
Glitch let out a whoop of happiness, suddenly in front of Cain. He grabbed the man's wrists and violently tugged him around in a spin. He lost his grip, and the tin man tumbled backwards. Sometimes Glitch forgot his own strength, and he forgot this time, as he continued to dance around without Cain.
Cain grabbed his hat off the ground before putting it on his head and scrambling upwards.
Glitch seemed to
forgotten he was on the ground as he walked on ahead.
"I am SO
glad we're best friends now. I mean, Raw is terrible at dancing,
but you aren't so bad! It'll be fun being best friends."
Cain was slightly amused by the fact that the glitched man had tried to dance with the cowardly seer. And also amused that Glitch now figured him a dancing partner. "Yeah, whatever, Glitch." He muttered, catching up with him.
"I'm hungry. We should go to dinner, C-…oh, look, a squirrel!" Glitch lost his train of thought as he wandered off the path after the rodent.
Cain caught his sleeve.
"Oh, no. No more making friends with squirrels, sweetheart." He tugged the zipper-head back on track. "I'm too hungry for anymore drama. C'mon, dinner-time."
And so Glitch complied, happily walking behind his new best friend to dinner.
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A/N: Reviews are luff.
