Don't own anything but my laptop.
I take in a shaky breath as I hear the opening cords to one of my favorite songs, and start singing.
Your arms around me come undone
Makes my heart beat like a drum
See the panic in my eyes
Kiss me hold me when I cry
Cause you always want what you're running from
And you know this is more than you can take
I smile as I think about the person this song reminds me of. Blaine. I just wish he knew that he didn't have to be so strong for me all the time, and that sometimes I could be strong for him. I wish I could tell him that my heart beat doubles its pace when he looks at me, and how he sends up a flurry of butterflies in my stomach with a simple touch, no matter how cliche it might sound.
Baby don't forget my name
When the morning breaks us
Baby please don't look away
When the morning breaks us
Oh your touch, so bittersweet
Baby don't forget my name
When the morning breaks us
'Yeah, I hope you don't ever forget my name.' I think to myself wryly. I can feel his reassuring touch on my shoulder as I look up into those caramel swirls of hazel. His words don't comfort me when he says not to try so hard for a solo next time. His touch is bittersweet. I faint every time we touch, figuratively, but I die inside because I know he doesn't mean anything when he holds my hand. It's just comfort, bittersweet in the way it feels.
Your cheek is softly by the sun
Makes my heart beat like a drum
I know it hurts you, I know it burns you
Hot and cold in a lonely hotel room
Look into me, tell me why you're crying I need to know
Cause you always want what you're running from
It's always been that way
I can see the look of pain and regret flash in his eyes when he thinks about how he ran away from the bullies. He regrets that he never stood up to them, never thought of himself as worth it. And when I see the pain hiding behind his carefully cheerfully exterior, I can tell that there are still moments when he feels that way. How his parents except him, but at the same time don't. How people judge him without even knowing his name. I wish he would let me prove to him that he is worth it. Worth everything, and so much more.
Baby don't forget my name
When the morning breaks us
Baby please don't look away
When the morning breaks us
Oh your touch, so bittersweet
Baby don't forget my name
When the morning breaks us
There's that little saying. 'Things will look better in the morning', or something along those lines, but sometimes they don't. More often than not, if you fall, the bruise doesn't show up until the next morning. And then for the rest of the day you can feel the throbbing, pulsating, pain running like blood under your bruise, coloring it with a deep, angry purple.
Cause you always want what you're running from
Baby don't forget my name
When the morning breaks us
Baby please don't look away
When the morning breaks us
Oh your touch, so bittersweet
Baby don't forget my name
When the morning breaks us
The song ends, and I wipe off tears from my cheek. The salty tears are a strange mix of sadness and longing. The tears are a physical representation of the pain that Blaine feels every so often, and the longing that he feels to be accepted with open arms. The worst thing is, I know he feels like this because I do too.
Sometimes I wish that I could be normal, to not have slushies thrown in my face, get tossed into dumpsters, or shoved against lockers. Then, I remember to have courage. To find that strong place in myself that sends out constant streams of your worth its, prejudice is just ignorance, and you're stronger than them.
Blaine has to find his place, too.
I park my car in front of The Lima Bean. I glance at my face in the mirror, making sure there aren't any angry red blotches from the crying, and that I don't look like Rudolph. Once satisfied, I study the digital clock, and smiled when I see that it's three-thirty on the dot.
I hop out of my car, plastering a smile onto my face at the thought of seeing Blaine, and head inside. I find him immediately sitting at a table in the corner with two coffees sitting in front of him. Knowing that one belongs to me, I make my over to the table, faltering in my steps slightly when I see the look of deep thought on his face.
''Hey.'', I say, and sit down in front of him.
He takes in a sharp breath and smiles at me before responding with a simple, ''Hi.''
We enjoy each others company for a few minutes, quietly drinking our coffee while making pointless conversation.
''Have you picked a song for our duet yet?'', I ask, smiling as I think about the way Blaine so vehemently insisted on doing a duet at regionals with me as his partner.
''Um, yeah, Candles by Hey Monday.'', Blaine responds with a nervous edge creeping into his voice.
I raise my eyebrows slightly, and nod my head before saying, ''I'm impressed. You're usually so top forty.''
''Well, I just wanted something a little more emotional.''
I sit back in my seat a little bit more at his confession.
''Why did you pick me to sing that with?'', I ask.
Blaine closes his eyes momentarily, and takes in a deep breath before responding, ''Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, 'oh, there you are, I've been looking for you forever.''
He reaches across the table to take hold of my hand in his before continuing in a more confident tone when I don't pull away, ''Watching you do Blackbird this week, that was a moment for me. About you.''
He struggles for a moment before finding the words to say, ''You move me, Kurt, and this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you.''
Blaine finishes his affectionate speech, and then leans in to kiss me. The kiss is passionate, yet sweet. He licks my lip, and I grant him access, and then, oh, his tongue is caressing mine in a fervent, intimate dance. I can taste the bittersweet coffee still on his tongue, and recognize a taste hidden underneath that can only be described as Blaine. It's heady and dancing that fine line between sweet, and too sweet.
He pulls away to quickly, leaving me breathless and dizzy. We're both blushing like idiots as we look around to see if anyone is throwing death glares our way, but are pleased to find that out of the minimal people in the coffee shop, nobody saw.
''Why don't we get out of here?'', Blaine asks, and I nod my head, allowing him to grab my hand so he can lead me out of the coffee shop.
Baby don't forget my name
When the morning breaks us
Baby please don't look away
When the morning breaks us
Oh your touch, so bittersweet
Baby don't forget my name
When the morning breaks us
The chorus of my favorite song runs through my head again, and I can't help but feel that, for once, everything will be okay in the morning. Life may be a little bittersweet, but it's easier when you have someone to share it with.
The song is Bittersweet by Ellie Goulding from the Breaking Dawn Part 2 soundtrack.
Thanks for reading, please review and let me know what you think. :)