I feel the same sharp pain form in my throat like a golf ball trying to be forced down a sink drain, accompanied by welling of tears behind my eyes. The same feeling I get every time I think about that day. The clock across the pit read 4:45 am and the day was the sixth of April, exactly four years ago was the day my heart died. I was pregnant with Rebecca, Tobias and I's daughter, when Peter attacked me, and was about to shoot me then toss me into the chasm. Tobias came running to save me along with Zeke who brought a gun. The first shot was fired, but instead of feeling the bullet penetrate my skin, I felt a body fall to the ground at my feet. Then the second shot was fired by Zeke causing Peter to collapse. I nearly mirrored his action as I fell to the ground to searched for any signs of life in Tobias. Dark crimson soiled his black shirt, the source was near the top of his chest. His eyes fluttered and struggled to focus on mine. He coughed and blood escaped from his lips as he spoke in ragged breaths, "T-tris... Promise me you won't shutdown" another cough followed by a forced breath, " but continue on for our baby."
"No Tobias don't leave me stay awake, help is on the way, just stay with me" I knew theses were all just lies I told him, but I still wanted to believe them.
"Just... Promise. Tris," his eyes closed, and struggled to open back up. I would miss those shining blue eyes that helped me through the toughest times. "Tris I love you, never forget that, and makes sure our baby knows I love them too." I nodded in response, and he continued with his last two words, "be brave".
" I will, " I said theses word and saw the faintest smile on his lips. He took on last raspy breath and then he was gone. The next few minutes were a blur of pounding my fists into the ground, crying, and being rushed into a room that smelt of cleaning supplies and that I knew all too well.
The next day I woke up in the infirmary and immediately panicked when I saw that I was no longer pregnant and that I was all alone. I kicked and screamed and tried to get out of bed through all of the cords, but before I could do any damage a whole crowd of nurses rushed in and pushed an assortment of buttons until I felt the cool stream of morphine rush into my veins. It felt like every weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was floating on a cloud with nothing to worry about. When I awoke the second time I tried not to panic and pushed the button on the side of my bed that would call a nurse into my room. A tall brunette walked into my room with her ponytail swaying as she walked.
"Good morning Tris, how do you feel?" Was she really asking me this.
"Where are they?" I blurt out.
She paused for a second to sit down then said, "Tris, Tobias died." I didn't say anything more, and then she added, "when you got here the baby was in danger, because you weren't due for another month and a half." My face dropped, because I new what was coming next, but she then surprised me, "don't worry the baby is fine and she's a beautiful healthy girl."
"When can I see her," I said.
" I'll go see if I can bring her in," she then walked out the door. The first thing I noticed about my daughter was her deep blue eyes and her dark brown hair. She was beautiful.
The clock now read 4:46. I took the step over the railing and placed my feet on the slick ledge below. It would be as easy as one step.
I would be reunited with Tobias.
I wouldn't have to deal with the constant looks of pity.
Or being told "it gets better" everyday of my life, when it never seems to.
Or the depression that feels like dragging a ball and chain everywhere with me.
Just one tiny step and I could end it all.
I release one hand from the rail, move my foot slightly off the edge. My foot is now hanging over the edge, all I need to do is let go. I close my eyes, but then like he is right next to me I hear Tobias telling me not to give up and to be brave. Then I see her eyes same blue that her father had, I can't leave her I promised Tobias that I would carry on for her. I pull my hand back the the railing and climb back over. Just as Christina comes walking around the corner holding little Rebecca. As soon as I see her I run over to her and take her from Chris, I look into her blue eyes and wonder why I ever thought of leaving her. Christina love spending as much time possible with Rebecca, since her and Will found out that they couldn't have children. She leaned over to hug me and whispered in my ear, "I saw that you didn't take your medicine today, and thought that I would be to late. How are you?" I could see the tears welling in her eyes.
"I'm fine." I take a deep breath. "I couldn't leave Rebecca, even though I know you would take great care of her," I say. Together we walk back to her apartment. Most of the time I'm gazing into Rebecca's eyes and thinking of Tobias's last words.
Be brave.
A/N: so if u have read any of my other stories I sorry that I'm procrastinating, maybe I'll update this week, but it might be hard because we just found out that our dog is sick. Well I hope you liked my story and don't forget to review.
~J