Title: Where I Can't Move
Rating: Mmm...
Warning: ...yaoi :0-D
Pairing: LightxLxLight
Stega's Notes: It's PWP time! All I ask is that you keep in mind I am no man, therefore accuracy cannot be fully expected, only hoped and prayed for. May be slight OOCness but for what this is, I think it's slightly acceptable.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction by a fan. Death Note and all characters within are not my property.
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It started out simply, as a test and nothing more. Light was obviously changing his game plan so L was forced to do the same; he had to adapt. He wasn't very surprised when Light started coming to the hotel with increased frequency; when he began to seduce him. It was, after all, a viable option to keep his identity as Kira from being discovered. If your hunter falls in love with you, he won't have the heart to shoot you anymore, right?
It was clear from the beginning that both man and boy thrived on a challenge, and maybe it was that similarity they shared that drove them into the mess they were in now. Maybe it was L's obsession with catching Kira; so much of his attention was on Light that he didn't realize what he was doing anymore, what he had been trying to prove by submitting to the seduction. He didn't realize Kira had him now. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer, he had told himself. Just keep it up long enough to catch him. He will slip eventually. L was so blinded by Kira. He couldn't see that he was the one slipping and falling, and maybe he didn't want to. It wasn't like him to let things get so badly out of hand. Maybe in the end Kira really was better because of this, but L wasn't going to admit to that until he was dead.
That night L had not been expecting any more company for the day so the lights were off and his bony fingers were hammering deftly at the keys on his laptop in the main room of the hotel suite. His back and spine were set in their usual unnatural curvature, while he crouched on the chair, feet tucked underneath him as if he were a perched bird, and hunched forward over the keyboard. He always made it a priority to curl his toes, all 10 simultaneously, several times each hour to keep the blood circulating to them, but this time he'd been so engrossed in his work and thoughts of Kira, of Light, that he had completely forgotten.
When the knock came at the door, just past 10 pm, he jumped a little; the sugary sweets he lived on made him edgy and prone to anxiety. He stood up carefully from his chair and noticed the skin on his feet was a strange mix of blue and purple clouds. It felt like he was running on pins and needles as he hobbled across the room to answer the door, and was displeased but not surprised when he saw who had the mind to visit him at such an inappropriate hour.
"Ryuga," Light said politely, "I hope this isn't a bad time?"
"Of course not," L lied. He kept his face expressionless, but he really wasn't in the mood for the company tonight. He knew what things inevitably led to when Light was around and he'd been thinking of putting an end to it before he dug himself deeper into their imbroglio. Now that he's here, L resigned, it will have to wait another night.
With a heavy shrug, L stepped back and allowed his guest inside. Light closed the door behind himself and turned the familiar lock, then heeled his shoes off one after the other. L walked over to the lamp and switched it on, this time without being impeded by his feet which were slowly regaining their colour.
"Can I offer you something to eat or drink? Some tea or short cake, perhaps?"
"No," Light answered, his voice curiously deep and husky, more than his age should've allowed. His sweeping bangs cast shadows over his eyes. "I want something sweeter."
"I see. Well, I might have some Belgian chocolates left or botan rice candy...wait.. No, that's right, I finished those off this morning," L mumbled to himself with his thumb between his teeth. He deliberately disregarded the blatant lust in Light's eyes.
Light crossed the room in three easy, confident strides. He grabbed hold of L's wrist, gently pulling L's fingers away from his mouth, and kissed his fingertips, one by one.
"I hate when you ignore me, L," he said, sounding like a neglected child to L's ears. And he was just a child.
"I wasn't expecting you tonight, Light. I thought you had schoolwork and the like to tend to." L didn't want this, not tonight. He always felt painfully old when Light was needy; painfully aware of the age difference. He felt so guilty, and even more so when he thought about how much he liked it. Everything was wrong in so many ways. Light - his only, and therefore, number one suspect in the Kira investigation - had become his angel, his saviour from the cold, dark loneliness. And night after night he greedily stole what he believed was still there but never really was to begin with: Light's innocence. He wanted to do it again. He wanted to make his angel scream like the child that he was, and he knew one day he would die for it. He knew Kira would make him pay for falling.
"What are you making excuses for?" Light carefully nipped L's index finger with a canine tooth then pulled him closer by the wrist. He placed his thumb and forefinger under the detective's chin and tilted his mouth up toward his own. When he saw the discomfited look on L's face his lips spread into a fiendish smile.
"I know you want this as much as I do," he whispered against L's lips. The power he felt, knowing that L all but turned into a puppet on a string under his master's hand whenever he asked for it, was exhilarating. It took no effort whatsoever anymore, all he had to do was play the part. If naughty school boys were what L liked, Kira would give it to him. It wasn't that much of a stretch from his character anyway, all he had to do was suppress his superiority. For no one but you...
L was frozen in place and trapped in his thoughts, in his guilt over his desire. He knew which one would win out in the end. Why was he even fighting it? "I..." he resisted weakly, "I want to... Light, but I..."
Light sensed what was happening. He could read the detective like an open book at that moment and he didn't like what he saw. He grabbed for L's other wrist, then pulled them to his hips. One on each side, he detained L in a sort of forced hug where his hands were the cuffs. But it wasn't a hug that he wanted. He pressed himself against the front of L's pants and was genuinely surprised to find a certain hardness that matched, if not rivalled, his own excitement.
A quiet moan escaped through L's clenched teeth and he shamelessly rubbed back against Light; he was starting to slip already. But wasn't Light the one who was supposed to mess up? L asked himself. He was digging the hole again.
Light was not that much taller than his counterpart, but the difference, the distance, fuelled Kira's desire for dominance. As he tantalized L, toying with him physically, he knew he was toying with his emotions, too. He could see the conflict L struggled with and it made everything all the more sweet when he finally got the man to give in. After all, it was the control Kira wanted, not the sex.
Light momentarily traded half of L's freedom to gain a free hand and with it, brushed the dark hair from L's eyes. He wanted to make sure he could see the shame in them when L finally stopped struggling and gave in to temptation. He loved that look.
With the wrist that was still captive Light moved it down in between their bodies and rubbed himself hard with L's hand. Their mouths met mutually in a fervent kiss and their tongues became reacquainted once more, like old lovers. Light held onto L's lithe, bony hips and let his fingers tiptoe up the smooth, delicate skin that his shirt tried to hide. The familiar feeling of Light's lips on L's seemed to pacify his guilt temporarily and he visibly relaxed.
Pleased with the results, Light was the first to break the chain, and breathed heavily, "I want to take you to the bedroom."
I want. The words held a poignant significance in L's mind. He knew he was ignoring something very important.
"Maybe we should hold off on that for now, Light," L said, jaded and still putting up a fight. He tried to pulled away but was met with stubborn resistance.
Light's hands were clumsy, rushed, under L's loose shirt, running up his sides, brushing over his protruding rib bones, caressing, appraising. He wanted L so badly. He wanted to exploit the power he held over the eccentric detective, to have the control of being inside him, something he had yet to experience but wanted to now. He didn't have the patience for L's little stall tactics.
"Ryuga... L..." he moaned, again acting like a needy child who knew exactly how to get what he wanted. His right hand snaked its way across L's stomach, around to the small of his back and began to rub in soothing circles. He nuzzled L's neck and, in a voice no louder than a whisper, said frankly, "I want you to fuck me."
L blushed and his erection perked up. Light knew exactly how to take the last shred of conscience, the last shred of L's dignity away and he hated him for it. At least he wasn't foolish enough to actually believe that Light Yagami, Kira, really enjoyed taking it in the ass because he always complained like a spoiled little brat afterwards. And, although L certainly enjoyed it all, he understood that it was always Kira who held the power and Kira alone who decided when to give it up.
"Do you really?" L teased in feigned wonderment. He pressed the pad of his index finger to his lips and stared up at Light with big, dark eyes. The combination of a toothy grin and those dead eyes of his was enough to look inappropriately creepy and Light did not seem to appreciate it.
"Yes," Light said brusquely. He was irritated now and his patience for the man was growing wire thin. He slipped a hand expertly down the front of L's pants and confidently took hold of what he found, what he had claimed he owned during a past tryst; the muscles and tendons in his arm began to flex as he stroked.
"And I know you want to, too." He smiled.
L seized Light's arm. It was so painfully hard to push him away at this point, but L managed to somehow, like a responsible parent taking a child's hand out of the cookie jar. The rejection, or maybe the sheer will power, surprised Kira. It might have even angered him were he not suddenly being pulled into the hotel bedroom and pushed down onto the bed. L removed his shirt, something he hated to do because he was so sickly underweight, but didn't care at the moment as he dropped it at his feet; his pants soon too took the plunge.
"Ryuga," Light whined from the bed as he eagerly writhed out of his tight pants and began to stroke himself. He was surprised at L's sudden surrender, but he wasn't going to dwell on it.
The sight was pleasing to L's eyes but not what he wanted. His left hand entangled itself in brown hair at the back of Light's head and nape of his neck, and he pulled the young university student's face up for a hard kiss. Light licked at L's lips pleading, like a puppy, for access. It was the little things like that that made L question why Light went so far. Why was he able to degrade himself so easily? And surely this must be degrading for him, if I know him at all.
Maybe Kira knew L too well by now. Maybe that's why he begged and played the innocent little school boy so willingly. Kira was counting on it to be too much of a temptation, too much of a good thing for L to ever want to give up. Yes, Kira was almost certainly better by now but L would make sure that any victory he gained from it was truly earned.
"I've got an idea," L said. He paused to consider his words and then continued, "What if we try something different this time?"
"Sure..." Light answered apprehensively. The confidence L suddenly wielded worried him. This is working better than ever, he surmised.
L slipped Light's shirt off which had been unbuttoned as he was speaking, and coaxed him forward with a gentle fist still holding his hair. Light sat up from the bed and leaned onto his knees. L's erection stared him in the face but he ignored it defiantly. Instead he looked up at L, into those dark, inquisitive eyes, with an expression of curiosity on his face.
"Kiss me," L simply ordered. He was almost hypnotized, seeing Light on his knees before him - while facing him - for the first time. The sight seemed to turn him into a new man and he was taking control for the first time instead of waiting for it to be given; a far cry from the conscience-stricken and stubborn detective he was but moments ago. He forced Light's head and gaze downward with one gaunt but strong hand, and studied the boy's reaction patiently.
Light took a long, deep breath in through his nose. Was he really willing to go that far to secure his hold on L's heart? Think of this as a test, he told himself, a challenge. If he still needs to be convinced of my commitment to this act then I have no other choice.
Light licked his lips thoroughly and bent down. With one hand he held himself up, palm and knees digging into the generously-sized hotel mattress, and with the other he wrapped his hand around L's erection and ambitiously took the entire length into his mouth. After a sigh of both relief and pleasure, L tightened his grip on Light's hair, pulling a few strands loose, and took control of his movements. He made him go steadily faster and although an occasional choking noise could be heard, neither man nor boy wanted to stop. As Light sucked him, L removed Light's hand from the base of his erection, which was now glistening with saliva, and let him take care of his own neglected hard on.
"I love seeing you like this, Light." L purred. As he ran his fingers through brown hair, he wondered, "Do you like it?"
"Uh-huh," was all Light could choke out. He hadn't given it any thought before he answered. He didn't like to think about what he did with L as something that he enjoyed. It was just a newer version of the same old game, right? He did it all just to save Kira; he refused to consider even the possibility of another motive.
When L got close he vaguely wondered if he should ask Light if he would swallow him, or at least warn him, but it felt so good that he couldn't find the words to form any kind of sentence, coherent or no. After another minute inside Light's mouth, L finally came with a hoarse moan. The young boy pulled back in surprise and blinked up at L. His mouth was ajar and full, with a mix of hesitation and uncertainty on his face. L released his hair to put a strong but caring hand on Light's cheek. He closed his mouth for him, then leaned down and kissed his wet lips. He could smell and taste himself on Light's tongue even after he had swallowed and it gave him an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction.
"What about you?" L remembered and suddenly the familiar pang of guilt returned.
Light grasped and pulled at L's arms until he laid down next to him on the bed. His hands were clumsy again, and impatient; they travelled over L's pale skin smoothly, chest to hips, hips to thighs. He rolled over a little, pressing himself against L's stomach, and nuzzled his neck, nipping at the soft expanse of skin above L's collarbone.
"Let me fuck you," he pleaded into L's shoulder.
Let me? Those words didn't belong on Kira's tongue. It should have been I want to again.
L kissed Light, this time to soothe him for what his answer would be, and let his right hand keep Light's erection company, the head of which was sticky with precum. "Light, I will not do that but I can make it up to you in other ways."
Light pouted with slick lips and leaned back onto his forearms. As he ducked his head, L stared up at Light ready to judge his reactions and licked the head with the tip of his tongue; first taste to see if he liked it and second to make sure. Seeing the boy close his eyes and hearing him release a quiet moan, L lapped up the rest of the clear substance without hesitation but it caused Light to come sooner than anticipated. It was on L's lips and cheeks, and in his hair, and he kept one of his eyes closed for precautionary purposes.
"I'm sorry," Light said. His breathing was noticeably uneven and his cheeks glowed with pink hues. He looked down at L with a small, abashed smile. "I couldn't help it."
L let out a rare, soft laugh and wiped his eye and forehead with the back of his hand. "I guess I'll have to make it up to you another time."
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