Just for a little while. Only for a little while.

That's what I keep telling myself as I'm on my way to the totally humiliating summer job my mother made me get. She said she would pay for my college as long as I got a part time job. It's not going to be forever and I'll soon be starting school. At the end of the day, it's not a bad tradeoff, but I still absolutely abhor it.

The first place to get back to one of my many applications was a Riker's; it's a pharmacy and I HATE IT. Working at a pharmacy is major bogus. The types of people that shop at a Riker's are creeps. Well, to be fair, not everyone but most. One of the shift leads there, Ella, has a thing for me, so when she's running the place I'm always on the register. Dealing directly with the customers makes me so nervous, and when Ella walks by I always happen to catch her giving me the eye. I wish I could tell her I'm not interested, but the repercussions scare me. What if I get stuck on toilet duty for the rest of the summer? And I don't think giving her the honest reason would be the best idea. She would probably think I was lying when I say I'm gay. Best to not let any coworkers know, just to avoid confrontation. So I stick to the policy, "keep to yourself, get through your shift and get the hell home." That, I can do. I'm great at it, even! Especially when I'm not up front ringing up customers. My favorite duty is inventory, because it's peaceful, mindless, and numerical. All of those menial tasks are enjoyable for me, even restocking the shelves. In fact, that was how my job got interesting.

One day, while I was crouched down with a handful of gauze rolls next to a large plastic bin in aisle 8 (first aid), I momentarily snapped out of my work-trance when I heard two boys talking and laughing. Just for a second I peeked up from my work at them. They both appeared to be around my age. First was a well-built Hispanic guy wearing a baseball cap over presumably very short hair. He was grinning ear to ear and laughing about something, and behind him came a tall dude with slightly longer, light hair and heavyset eyebrows. His face looked naturally intense but friendly. His eyes glistened an indeterminable color, but they sort of sparkled in a way. When I looked up at him as he passed by, I suddenly became flustered and dropped the small boxes I was holding. Immediately the blond guy jumped and squat to the ground next to me.

"You alright?" he asked. I nodded. Dealing with customers is nervous work enough, but when I'm face to face with an unknown cutie, I get extremely shy and stupid acting. The guy picked up some of the gauze and placed them in my hand.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

"Sure thing." Before we could speak any longer, his Latin friend called out from the end of the aisle and he went running off. I kept my eyes fixated on the fingertips that the unknown guy had briefly touched in the handoff. It was crazy to overthink the event, but my mind can occasionally get crazy with these things. The chances of him being gay were extremely small, and to make him gay and attracted to me is basically impossible. If he were queer, the guy he was with was likely his boyfriend. Oh, but all of this was stupid. I tried to forget about him and focus on finishing my shift.

I did alright until I clocked out and left for the bus stop. Waiting for route 39, my eyes looked up at the cloudy sky above and I began to think about that guy again. Tall and blond. The hues of sunset painted a picture where he came up to me and told me I was cute. "Hey, right back at you!" I said, totally unlike me, in the daydream. He then proceeded to ask me out. In real life, my face turned red and I closed my eyes. I knew better; even if it did happen, I could never be calm enough to answer him like that. The 39 pulled up and I boarded.

Alright, so I worked an identical shift the following day; 2-7. Unfortunately, creepy Ella was there, so I was stuck at the register for the whole time. It's unclear to me why she doesn't have me stick to inventory related things, since then she has a better shot at seeing me bend over and whatnot. Or maybe I'm just desperately searching for a reason to avoid customer contact. Either way it doesn't do any good to complain, so I logged into a till and got ready for a painful shift.

After about an hour or so, and only two customers to ring up, the front doors slid open and three people walked in. One was a young girl, the other an older woman, and guess who the last was? That guy from yesterday! He followed behind the younger female, who ran immediately to our magazine rack and started pulling bright colored issues off.

"Hey, hey, hey!" the guy shouted. "Go easy!"

The girl stuck her tongue out at him and started talking fast, but she was too far away and low in volume for me to understand. An old woman came up to the counter just then and placed a box of toffees in front of me. I tried to focus on my job instead of the boy, but it was difficult.

"D-did you find everything…alright…today?" I stuttered to the customer I was ringing up. She nodded, and I gave her the total. The boy I was watching took a few of the magazines from the young girl and put them back on their rack. He shook his head at her, smiling, but she made a grouchy face and stormed back to the other woman that came in with them.

"Thank you, have…a nice…day," I said as my customer took her change and hobbled away. Tall and blond happened to look back at me for a split second. Our eyes locked, definitely, but then he followed the young girl down the hall and out of my vision. Damn, I thought. I really wanted to hear his voice some more. It was so pleasant; a little bit high, but warm hearted and compelling. Where would my imagination lead me next? The guy walks up to the counter and smiles warmly, or something. No, it would never happen. Maybe if I was ringing him up, but even then, he'd probably talk about his girlfriend or whatever straight guys do.

Before I knew it, the young girl he was with came bounding up to my register. She dropped a handful of teen gossip magazines on the counter, along with a bag of gummy fish and a pack of gum. "Hi," I said to her, trying to remain calm. "Did you find every…"

"Yeah, yeah," she cut me off rudely. "Save your shpiel." I looked at her in shock. She couldn't have been much older than 12 or so, and to talk a stranger like that! Then, tall and blond came to the rescue. He ran up behind the girl and hooked his arm over her shoulder. "Sorry about that," he said in that hypnotic voice. "My sister doesn't really get manners sometime."

The girl looked up at the guy and sneered. "Like you do?" she snapped. Tall and blond told her to "hush", and then handed her cash to pay for her purchase. I finished ringing her up, took the money gently, and then placed the little bit of change into her hand. Why couldn't have the brother taken the change? Part of my felt sad inside. She received the change, snatched her new stuff off of the counter and suddenly bolted out of the store. Tall and blond shouted and ran after her. He looked down aisle 1 and yelled, "Moooom! We're leaving!" Soon after, the older woman they came with left as well.

Oh, gosh. I felt sick to my stomach. What were the odds of seeing him again? Trying very hard to stop myself from daydreaming even further, I was interrupted by creepy manager Ella. "Want to take your 15 now?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said quietly and began to log out of my till. Janice, another coworker, took over for me. There isn't a whole lot for me to do on my break, so I generally just stand around outside and try to get some fresh air. Before I left, I snatched a bottle of Gatorade that I had stowed beneath my register. The glass doors slid open as I passed through and the light of day hit me. I winced a little bit as I crawled from my retail cavern and stood next to one of the stupid looking plaster columns that line the overhang there. The Riker's is in the middle of a very tacky looking strip mall, with a smoothie shop on one side, and a toddler apparel place on the other. I leaned against the column and took a sip of my Gatorade. There was a little bell noise, and the door to the smoothie place opened up. Out walked none other than tall and blond. He took a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and lit one up. A smoker, huh? I wanted to stare, but my face was so red and awkward feeling that I couldn't. He was a really good looking guy. The yellow plaid button up he wore rested gracefully upon his broad, strong shoulders, though his body was thin and lean. He pressed up against the glass of the smoothie place and let out a long puff of air, then he took out his phone and likely sent someone a text. Okay, so maybe I did keep looking at him. I took another sip of my drink and swallowed hard. Just then, tall and blond happened to look up at me. He tipped his chin my way and smiled. I blushed and blushed then made a grin which I'm sure looked stupid. The guy knocked ash off of his cigarette and actually started walking towards me.

"Hey," I said very, very timidly.

"Yo," he answered. "Sorry about my sis, seriously. She's so rude sometimes. It drives me crazy."

"It's alright, don't worry about it."

"Cool. So are you in school?"

"No, just graduated," I said, trying so so hard to remain cool and collected. "I start college in fall, though."

"Awesome. I just graduated, too. But I'm not going to college yet." He took a long drag on his cigarette and let the smoke pour through his handsomely-large nose. I could not make eye contact with him, so I suddenly stared at the ground, probably looking like a fool. His attractiveness was too overwhelming. "Why aren't you uh, going?" I asked nervously.

"'Cause I want some time to just chill and play."

"Play?"

"Guitar. I'm gonna try to major in music or something, since it's my passion, I guess."

"That's so neat," I said quietly, still looking down. "I've never been musically inclined."

"It's not for everyone."

The tiny bell jingled again, and the woman who he called his mom walked out of the smoothie place. So did his sister. "Hey, Kendall!" his mom yelled. "Let's go already."

"Gotta fly," he said to me. I peeked up at him timidly. He was smiling and said, "I like your hair." Before he turned around and walked away, his left eye winked at me. Did he really? He did. He winked at me. My heart jumped up and I almost passed out. "Kendall," I said out loud to myself. "Kendall."