I awaken and stifle a yawn. Ahhh, I could get used to this, the soft pillow beneath my head and the soft sheets. Mmmmm. I gaze across the pillow and stare into my masters soft grey eyes. His brow quirks up quizzically
"Right you, out, now!" He says lightly before gently slapping my rear and nudging me off the bed. He points at the door and I make my way out the long way round. I nearly laugh when I see the state of my current mistress her hair look like she was in a fight with Rosie, the cat next door, she's got lethal claws on her! Her eyes have big purple circles around them, now I don't know too much about humans, apart from master, but I've never seen one look like that before! I've seen mistress Gail, the one that feeds me, draw paint on her face before, maybe she's done that? She looks damn scary! If any of my friends see her I'll be a laughing stock and I can't have that! I trot into mistress Fails bathroom and find her paint bag and take it to master.
"Ana! Where did you get this?" He demands, uh oh! Looks like I'm back in the damn dog house! I drop the bag at new mistresses feet.
"What the hell? Christian? Why the fuck have you got your dog brining me make-up? If you have something to say at least grow some balls and tell me! Don't get your bloody dog to do it for you!"
Ooopsie daisy! Ah well, at least there won't be a fight for the bed tonight!
"Julie, wait, I didn't.." She hit my master hard across his face leaving a large red mark.
Oh that's gotta hurt!
"Woof woof woof!" Back off bitch he's mine!
"Out Ana, now!" What did I do?
I hear him murmuring at her and her at him, pass the puke bucket! I nudge open the door and sit at the threshold waiting.
"Christian! Stop!"
"What? Why? I thought you liked..."
"Your dog is watching me!" Damn right bitch.
"Don't be ridiculous! Go lie down Ana" with pleasure master! I curl up on my bed at the bottom of his, keeping my eyes trained on her purple rings.
"It's still watching me!" It? Who you calling it?
"Give me a minute" he jumps out the bed pulling his dressing gown on. "Ana, come here girl." I follow him out the room and down the hall. "Please girl stay here, I need to get laid, it's been months! I'll take you out for a couple of hours this afternoon if you'll give me five minutes, ten tops, then you can scare her off. Please girl?!" I lie on the couch, which for once, he doesn't shout at me for! Result! I'll wait for five minutes I suppose, I don't like it but he begs so nicely. "I'm going mad I just begged the dog to let me have sex" he mutters as he walks up the hall. Yes, yes you did master, because I own your ass!
I can hear his grunts from the couch, it sound like the two of them are in pain! She's screaming now, is it bad if I hope he's hurting her? Probably. Lynn in the flat downstairs says I have a sadistic streak when it comes to masters women friends. It was funny to see the look on the plastic woman's face when I peed on her handbag, then on her shoe then I left her a special deposit on her coat... I had to let her know master is mine not hers, she doesn't come round that often anymore, I can't imagine why!
Right times up! I nudge my way into the bedroom, jump on the bed and lick masters face. He has a weird glow about him and I can't see his woman anywhere. I lay across the pillow, my head resting on his chest. His heart is beating quite quickly and his muscles are twitching kinda wildly.
"Mmmm, baby" baby? He's never called me that before! I feel a draft coming from his sheet, it's bobbing up and down, holy crap!
"Woof, woof, woof"
"Shut up Ana! I'm coming!" He lets out a massive roar as the mistress with the purple eyes reappears from under the covers. I wonder what she was doing? She's got drool hanging from her chin, it's not a good look, I should know, I lap it off her face for her.
"Oh my God! I think I'm gonna be sick!" She changes colour and runs to the toilet, master laughs and lies back down.
"What am I gonna do with you girl?" Take me on that walk you promised? Please?!
I hear a noise I'd know anywhere, mistress Gail! Food! I hear the meat falling into my bowl in the kitchen, I sniff the air, oh yeah! Last night's chicken pot pie! A girl could get used to this! I devour the whole bowl as fast as I can, licking it clean for good measure! I move over to my mineral water, master knows what his girl likes! Mmmm, refreshing. I need a nap after that meal. I curl up on the couch and catch some z's. I jump awake, don't you hate when that happens, I'd almost bitten the vet too! I'll get the sadist next time. I grab my lead from its hook and go in search of master. He's still in bed with purple eyes! Purple, has a lead on each arm and leg! I know master doesn't like me getting lost and has even got one of those extension lead things, I hate it of course, but he's never put more than one on me? Purple has bet rear in the air and master has a stick in his hand, oh I get it, it's a game! I wanna play too! I grab the stick from master, he doesn't look pleased.
"Drop it Ana! Drop it!" I drop the stick and wag my tail excited, is he gonna throw it? Is he? Is he? He pulls me by the collar to the door and shoves me through shutting the door tightly, I can't get in now. I cry by the door but master ignores me. He's in there for hours, long enough that mistress Gail takes pity on me and takes me down to the apartment gardens for a walk. When I've done what I needed to, we return home. Purple has gone and master looks very very happy.
"Hey girl, still want that walk?" Oh hell yeah! I bark in reply. He grabs that extension lead and my jacket and we head out, just me and my master, exactly how it should be!