Why?
Why was I born in a time of merciless lust?
Why was I engaged so young?
Why did no one see how terrible it was to marry off a child who has never felt the sensual touch of another?
Why...
Why did Roy make me fall in love with a man he would never be?
Why did Roy and his friends take everything from me and leave me to drown in my blood?
Why...
Why couldn't I just die?
Why did I have to watch in agony as people walked by me and barely glance at me?
Why...
Why did it have to be Carlisle?
Why couldn't the vampire who bit me just be some scummy rat who I could forever loathe?
Why was Carlisle so insistent on keeping me around?
Why...
Why didn't I scream during those three burning days of the change?
Why was I so consumed with bloodlust and vengeance those first few days?
Why...
Why did I have to meet Edward?
Why did he look at me once and completely reject me?
Why couldn't I handle his rejection?
Why...
Why did I sneak out that night?
Why did I murder all of those monstrous men and keep Roy for last?
Why did I spend an hour getting ready for a murder like I was getting ready for my wedding?
Why can't I regret it?
Why did I enjoy it?
Why...
Why was my ability to be a mother ripped from me?
Why couldn't I have a choice?
Why can't I make Bella understand what a horrible decision she's making?
Why can't I stop being jealous of her?
Why...
Why can she get her perfect husband, perfect daughter, and everyone's attention?
Why can she have everything I have wanted for so long and yet I only have a heart of stone and memories of a life far gone?