Hey every one!!!! I haven't been in the sync of writing in a while and I've really missed it. But after last Thursdays episode this story had been in my head for a little while and I just HAD to write it. Cause that episode was absolutely awesome, I mean did you see that fight between Castiel and Uriel???? It was soooo awesome! Anywho on with the story!!!!
Castiel was sitting in a motel room next door to the Winchester's because after what happened to Dean he promised he would be close by for a precaution. He has been thinking back to the other night where he was questioning his faith and he started to feel actual emotions. He thought it was just some fluke or temporary insanity because of the failure of his Devil's Trap. But these so called emotions have staying with him and they are getting worse. He is starting to feel other things also. For instance when he was talking to Anna and she was trying to comfort him.
Anna…
She was bringing out new emotions in him also. He has been feeling…. different about her, something he could not really explain. He thinks its what the humans refer to as a "crush" or something along the lines of that. Whatever it was Castiel didn't like it all, he was an angel. He is not allowed to feel, he is suppose to serve before God and help save humanity. Not getting sent to Earth and getting caught up in these emotional things. But he knew he had to see her again, had to confirm on what exactly he was feeling. So Castiel stood in the middle of the room and called out to her.
"Anna." He said in nearly a whisper. Then a few moments went by and the lights started to flicker.
"What is it you need Castiel?" Anna said behind him.
Castiel turned around and starred at her for a few seconds. He never realized that she was actually sort of beautiful in her former human self. With her red hair flowing on her shoulders and with her deep brown eyes starring at him waiting for a response.
"I needed to speak to you about something." Castiel said in his normal monotone voice.
"And what would that be?" Anna said with a questionable look.
"About me feeling doubt and these other emotions I have spoken to you about the other night."
"I see. Continue." Anna said
"I thought at first it was because I have been hanging around to many humans lately, but somehow I realized it has been building up for a while now. I wanted to deny it as much as I could but after I talked to you I realized that it couldn't be denied any longer. I feel the need to be disobedient. But a different kind." Castiel said feeling slightly better now that he told Anna.
"Its good that you want to embrace on being disobedient but that's really out of character for you Cas. What changed?" Anna asked.
"When you told me to start thinking for myself. I had what the humans call a reality check. And you know how being disobedient makes me feel?" Castiel said while walking towards Anna.
"How?" Anna said getting a feeling on where he was going with this.
"Sinful." Castiel said. Then he leaned towards Anna and gave her a tender but passionate kiss. He knew what he was doing was wrong but it felt right to him. She sent a fire within him that he could not explain but he liked it. After it was over Anna backed away and starred at him.
"I'm sorry Anna that was very inappropriate." Castiel said breathless.
"It's ok Cas." Anna said who was equally breathless.
"I don't understand, I thought after doing that the feeling would stop. But now I feel the need to do it again. Why?"
"That's an emotion called desire." Anna said.
"Would you mind if I did it again?" Castiel said cluelessly.
"I wouldn't mind." Anna said while walking up to him and giving him another kiss. They just stood there for a few minutes just lip locked then Castiel had the urge to wrap his hands around her waist. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck. The embrace felt so foreign to him but what he was doing came natural to him. He figured it was the inner human in him. Then suddenly Castiel broke away and just starred at her for a second,
"I think I know what happens next but that would be going against everything I believe in."
"Why don't we just dedicate this night for being disobedient?" Anna said.
"That actually sounds very nice." Castiel said while kissing her again. The feelings that were going through him were so intense for him but for once in his long life he really didn't care. Anna removed his coat and tossed it aside while things started to pick up for them. Then Anna mumbled,
"Castiel…." For some reason when she pronounced his full name and not his nickname it made him want her more. That's when Castiel's emotions just took over all his reason and he pushed Anna on the bed.
About an hour later Anna and Castiel were just lying there starring up at the ceiling. The realization of what he had just done hit Castiel like a ton of bricks. That's when Anna turned to face him and said,
"You do realize this can never happen again."
"I know. It was what you called a night of being disobedient. I understand." But that was the first time Castiel had ever lied. He didn't want this to come to an end, after what he had just done with Anna made him more attached to her. Now he realized he was better off with no emotions. Anna got off the bed and got dressed again realizing that Castiel was watching her. Then she turned around and said,
"Castiel I hope that this has cleared the…. concerns you have been having with your emotions." Again when Anna said his full name he got this strange feeling of wanting her again.
"It has. Thank you Anna." Castiel said now fully dressed as well. The second lie he has told. "But I was wondering if I could have just one more kiss."
"That sounds reasonable." Anna said while standing on her tip toes giving him a gentle kiss. "Good-bye for now Castiel." With that Anna disappeared.
Castiel just looked down after she left, he was replaying the events that just happened in his head. He understood why it couldn't happen again, it didn't mean he had to like it. This attachment he had on Anna he now realized will not be going away any time soon. And the thought of her not seeing him in that way pained him.
'I think that's what the humans call heart-break.' Castiel thought to himself.
And that's where I end this story. Wow I had a lot of fun writing this one. Now if only this happened in the show then I would be really happy. But anywho I hoped you enjoyed reading this story. Please review!!!! =]
