"Phil, I know you're nervous but you don't have to be. We can do this together"
I was sat on his lap facing him, so close to his face, his smoky grey eyes pouring down on top of me. He was so nervous that it would go badly. I mean don't get me wrong, I was terrified too! I mean, what if he didn't like me? This meant everything to Phil which meant it was everything to me too.
" I know, but this has to work. I don't know what I would do if you didn't like him"
Wait I didn't like him? Of course I would like him! He was Phil's best friend and Phil loved him so I would too.
"… I love you and … well… what if he gets upset?" Phil muttered anxiously.
"I love you too Phil and this is going to be ok. He will understand. I don't know him like you do but I do know he's a good person - he will understand."
This was what I was repeating over and over in my mind to reassure myself because the truth was, I was probably more nervous than Phil. I had been up all night worrying about it. I was so scared of what could happen. Me and Phil had decided just yesterday that it had to happen; that it was now or never and I knew we were right. So whatever happened it had to have been the right thing to do, right? I felt Phil's longing gaze fall on the top of my head as I looked up straight into his loving eyes. I felt an overwhelming sense of belonging that I had only ever felt beside him, and realised that whatever his friend would think of me, of us, wouldn't matter: because I loved him and he loved me.
He leaned down to my face and as his lips touched mine I reached up and put my arms round his neck to pull him closer. His lips were so soft, gentle. He moved his face around mine to rest his head on my shoulder and we pulled each other in until there was nothing between us… And this was the way he found us.