Darcy is starting to think that this might turn out to be the longest day of her life.
It's 10:30 at night and she's the only server on duty (that bothered to show up for her shift, actually) and wouldn't you know that Friday night means that everyone is out in full force. She's been helping the same customer for twenty minutes, which might not seem like a long time on a normal day but totally is when she's got an entire section of rowdy corporate horn-dogs and fraternity pledges waiting for her to bring them their drinks.
Darcy works at a not-quite-upscale-but-also-not-trailer-trash "adult entertainment establishment" on the outskirts of North East Heights in Albuquerque called The Velvet Rabbit. It's far enough away from the general hub of professional and government offices that the wives and parents of the guys who frequent the place won't come all the way out to look for them, but not so far out that you run the risk of having, quite frankly, sketchy backwoods entertainment. The girls that work here are hot, which is exactly what Darcy wants because drunk horny people give better tips, especially when they're distracted.
Okay, so working at a strip club probably isn't what you'd expect someone with a Bachelors Degree in Political Science to be doing post-grad, and Darcy agrees, it's completely bizarro. The thing is though that after her internship, after all those weeks spent in the middle of fucking nowhere New Mexican desert, after a run in with a divine Abercrombie model and almost getting squashed by a giant metal death-robot, everyone kind of disappeared. Thor, Jane, even those bastard iPod stealers in black suits. One minute Darcy was getting set to complete the last leg of her internship, which was just starting to get interesting because Norse gods!, when it was all gone.
She showed up at the lab, actually ready and pumped to get started on some science, only to find it completely deserted. Her first thought was that the iPod stealers had come back and Jane and Eric were off trying to rescue their stash (sans God of Thunder), but when they didn't show up at all that day or the next, Darcy came to the unpleasant and frankly irritating realization that they had left. She actually entertained the idea that maybe they accidentally forgot her, which how can you forget a person? but Jane did have a tendency to go all blank-brain when making science. Her calls and emails to Jane went unanswered and when she got her first ping of an undeliverable message she forced herself to swallow her pride and just admit that she'd been left behind.
So it was back to school, who, surprise surprise, wouldn't accept the excuse of "falling gods and killer robots" as a reason why she hadn't fulfilled the qualifications of her internship. She had to delay her graduation to the next semester, messing up all her student loans and academic grants and forcing her to seek out the fickle bitch that is part-time employment. The Velvet Rabbit had advertised for a part-time waitress to work nights and weekends who wouldn't be opposed to "dressing for the occasion", and so Darcy the slutty Halloween-costume-wearing part-time waitress was born.
That was over a year ago, and now Darcy has graduated and moved on from struggling college student to struggling post-grad who can't find a job in her field of study. She hasn't seen Jane or Eric since then and hadn't seen any hint of Thor until he showed up on national news fighting scaly alien slugs in New York alongside Iron Man and a giant green dude. She knows that has SHIELD written all over it and while it would be nice to know more about what the hell is going on, her job as an occasional waitress has become a full-time money making machine. Scary aliens, egomaniacal super villains, and mysterious superheroes make people nervous, and nervous people go out and get wasted on a regular basis. Let it never be said that Darcy Lewis is anything other than adaptable and takes advantage of opportunity.
Darcy has a system. She doesn't approach any of the tables in her section until the last few minutes of whatever act is taking place on the center stage, making sure that her customers are well and truly occupied elsewhere with their minds and their dicks while she sets down the check. Nine times out of ten they don't even pay attention and just lay down random bills and wave her away. She puts the bill's tab in the register, takes a chunk out for the bartender, and pockets the rest. It's a good system that's worked out really well.
Until tonight, apparently, when she gets that customer who didn't really want to come out to the club and is trying really hard to not act like they're enjoying the show. This guy is being awkward and squirmy and keeps doing a weird eye-twitchy thing when he catches himself staring at Darcy's chest. She can't blame him - she's wearing a Jessica Rabbit ensemble tonight complete with flowing red hair wig and the girls are sticking right out there (a plus of the costume-only dress code for Velvet Rabbit employees) - but his attitude is freaking out everyone else at the table. Nobody wants to be seen sporting wood and ogling naked dancers unless everyone is doing it too.
"Look dude, I can come back later if you want. Or I'll just bring you a coke and you can decide later if you want something stronger."
Mr. I-Don't-Want-To-Look-Supid does something stupid, in that he starts arguing with Darcy, loudly, and in full view of her shift manager.
The unfortunate thing about working in a place like this is that all of her coworkers are flaky, except for the awesome ones who aren't. Like Shannon. Shannon is one of the only things in this place (besides the tips) that keeps Darcy from going postal and pulling out her taser, which she has surreptitiously wedged into the front of her apron.
"What's going on over here?" Shannon asks. "Is there a problem, sir?"
Darcy would totally fuck Shannon if she went that way, and probably even would just because. Shannon is gorgeous, with a tall slender figure of a dancer and beautiful long honey blonde hair. She's not as full-figured as Darcy, but some careful enhancements in certain places and a meticulous attention to tailored bunny-suits makes her more vintage Playboy Bunny than plastic Barbie. She has a magazine-style beauty without being a bitch about it.
The best thing about Shannon is her attitude, which rivals Darcy's in both snark and foul language. Together they're quite a formidable team and have been the cause of their fair share of heart attacks for unsuspecting unruly patrons.
Mr. I-Don't-Want-To-Look-Supid starts complaining, about the service, about Darcy's "unprofessional attitude", which, dude, you're in a strip club, what kind of service do you expect? He's rambling on and on when finally Shannon decides that she's heard enough of his shit and asks him to leave.
"Your friends don't have to go with you, but if you cause any trouble I will personally make sure that you spend the night in county lockup for harassment."
His friends don't look like they want to go with him, and so Mr. I-Don't-Want-To-Look-Supid is forced to leave the club on his own, grumbling and dragging his feet as he bows his head and shuffles out like a giant beetle.
Darcy is finally able to take the table's order, but now her game is totally thrown off and she has to backtrack for three more stage acts to catch up on her groove. It's a loss she couldn't really afford, but she shrugs it off with her usual aplomb.
She's back at the bar returning an empty margarita glass when Shannon sidles up beside her and knocks her in the shoulder.
"Hey", she says. "What are you doing after work?"
Darcy hesitates, because guilty fleeting thoughts of maybe having entertained the idea of having sex with her totally straight boss flash through her mind. "Um, nothing. Why?"
Shannon smirks and looks from side to side before answering. "I have an opportunity that I think you might be interested in. It involves dangerous illegal activity and a potential for a lot of money." She leans in close to Darcy's ear. "You interested?"
Darcy likes to think she gave the matter serious thought before she responds.
"Hell yeah I'm interested!"
After being a total stalker of the Darcy Lewis/Loki tags for a while, I've decided to post my own fic. This is my first foray into TaserTricks-dom, and reviews and constructive crit are welcome and appreciated!