Title: Here, take Mr. Banana
Day/Theme: Oct. 11th 'take one and call me in the morning'
Series: Discworld, The University
Character/Pairing: The Bursar, the Dean, Ridcully, Lecturer in Recent Runes, the Librarian
Rating: G
Warnings: Randomness
Undoubtedly the Bursar is one of the more difficult characters to write. Simply because he is random.
"But I draw the line at daisies."
The Bursar pointed emphatically towards the sheet of paper he had been given, "even though the gnomes will be unhappy."
"Err... I don't believe you heard us right Bursar, the gnomes are unhappy because there ARE daisies. We want need to get approval from all the board in order to remove them. We need your approval even though it's got nothing to do with finances." The Dean clarified, hoping that he would get a sensible answer.
"Well, the cheese will get no say if this continues." The Bursar crossed his arms in defiance; though no-one was sure what at because once figures left the equation the Bursar was just a bunch of disconnected brain cells.
"Moving along then..." Mustrum Ridcully ushered the meeting forwards, "Our next is that of moving the-"
"The cheese rejects this notion and requests that we have afternoon tea!" There was a rather expected outburst from the Bursar which everyone ignored until he continued.
"Dame pineapple agrees with the cheese on this point and wishes to make his intentions clear concerning the state of the pie." He continued happily rambling on until Ridcully stepped in.
"Someone give him the dried frog pills already! We don't need him rambling for the rest of the meeting!"
The Lecturer in Recent Runes promptly responded, stuffing several pills into the open mouth of the Bursar and forcing him to swallow them.
"Thank you. Now, as I was saying we need to move the-"
"And the rabbit wishes to be represented too, unless of course it's a tea party. I quite like the sky today. And the dragons are acting up again."
"FROG PILLS."
"Yessir." Again, the frog pills were given to the Bursar and Ridcully was just about to start again when, again, the Bursar interrupted.
"DEAN! Are you sure those are the frog pills?"
"I'm sure sir." He held up the jar to prove his point.
"Well then what's wrong with him?!"
The librarian got up in response and walked over the table to the Bursar, peering into his eye and the blabbering mouth before pulling a banana (seemingly) out of nowhere and handing it to the Bursar.
"Ook." He turned to the rest of the wizards. "Ook eek oook ook." He grinned and ambled back to his seat, still grinning.
"Mr. Banana!" The Bursar smiled and started peeling and happily eating it.
The rest of the wizards looked blankly at each other as the Bursar remained quiet.
"What was that all about?" Mustrum Ridcully looked around at his associates before the Dean spoke up.
"I think he said that he'll see what the Bursar is like in the morning after that banana."
"Well, if that's the case... We need to talk about moving the student dorms again."