Hello! This story has been keeping me up. So here it is! Please enjoy!
Paring: Sasuke x Naruto x Hinata. This means boy x girl and boy x boy. All very minor.
Warnings: Violence and slight language
When did my fairy tale turn into a nightmare? One where I'm the monster, the evil witch, the destroyer of happiness?
It must have happened so gradually, to the point where I didn't know that my love has turned to hatred. Must have been so slow, oh so slow, so I didn't immediately know that all my dreams were broken, as broken as my friendships.
I look up from my wine to stare at the two of them. So peaceful, so sincere, looking like what Royals, like what a husband and wife, should. They suited each other perfectly. It was me who stands out, me who doesn't belong. The monster, the witch, the destroyer. Except worse because I was supposed to be their friend. I was supposed to be happy for them, supposed to not feel anger and jealously rear up whenever they were close together.
Why? Why couldn't I just be happy for the two of them? Why did I want to break their smiles, smash their love to the floor, break it into a million tiny pieces barely visible for anyone to see? Every time they touch, I cringe. Every time they kiss, my heart tears a little more. Why? Why am I such a monster?
"King Uzumaki? Are you ok?"
I jerked my head around, blushing a bit at having been caught staring at my rival (my love) and his beautiful wife. "Y-yeah! Of course I am!" I smiled at Shikamaru Nara, my most trusted advisor.
Shikamaru didn't look convinced. He turned his eyes to where I've been staring and smirked. Shit. "Oh, I see. Staring at your love, aren't you?" He teased.
"N-no!" I stuttered out, my blush making it obvious I was lying.
Shikamaru's smirk grew wider before it turned to a frown. He looked back over before looking at me again. "You know, you're a terrible liar. You're so easy to read." I scowled at that but he continued before I could complain. "But one thing I can't figure out…is who? Of the couple you fawn over, who is it you like?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but whatever I was about to say got caught in my throat and I shut my mouth. Who was it I liked? And who was it I was jealous of? Hinata…or Sasuke?
I once again turned my focus to the lovely couple, who were now whispering to each other. By Hinata's blush and Sasuke's small smile, it must be sweet nothings. My hand clenched around my glass, but I couldn't tell who I hated more. Hinata, for being able to hear Sasuke's low, warm voice in her ear, for being able to hear it every day of her life. For having his attention. Or Sasuke, for having the chance to whisper in her ear, to make her giggle. For having her attention. I couldn't tell who I wanted more, who I would love to have waking up in my bed. Did I want to feel Sasuke's strong arms wrapped around me? Or did I want to wrap my arms around Hinata's soft frame. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know!
"I don't know." I mumbled.
Shikamaru stared at me before turning to the now laughing couple. "I see." We were quiet for some time, both drinking our wine and lost in our own thoughts. Suddenly, Shikamaru spoke again. "Well, what do you like about both of them?"
I glanced at him. "What do you mean? What's not to like?"
Shikamaru snorted. "Sasuke's arrogant, cold, insulting. Hinata's too shy and a bit weak. I would have thought you would like someone like Queen Haruno."
I frowned at him. "Sasuke's not that bad. Sure he's arrogant, but he has to be to run his Kingdom. And he's only cold to those not close to him. But your right about him being insulting." I said, remembering all the times he called me an idiot. "Bastard." I mumbled before reminding myself to get back on topic. "And Hinata's only shy because she grew up in a family that hated her. She's defiantly not weak." It was my turn to smirk at him. "You only think Sakura's strong because you have a thing for her."
Shikamaru blushed and looked away. "So? She's a beautiful woman. Who wouldn't want her?" Clearing his throat, he glared at me. "But we aren't talking about me, are we?"
I scrunched my nose at him. "I don't know. Sasuke and I have always been friends, you know that. Our fathers visited each other at least once a week, it was inevitable that we would become friends. I've seen Sasuke at his very worst and I've seen him at his very best. I've know his darkest secrets, his deepest wishes, his goals in life. I know Sasuke."
"Admittable, I haven't know Hinata as long as I've known Sasuke, but I still feel like I know her. She was introduced to us when Sasuke's father and her father made the arrangement to marry them together. She was the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. I was actually the one to befriend her first since Sasuke was feeling a bit jaded about being forced to marry. But he came around." I frowned down at my wine. "I guess that's when these troublesome feelings arose. When it was just me and Sasuke, it felt natural to want to be next to him, to want to spend my whole day, every day with him. But then Hinata confessed that she felt the same way about Sasuke. And I began to think, is that what love is? Which wasn't actually the problem. The problem was I began to feel the same about Hinata."
"Ah-ha." Shikamaru hummed. I looked at him expectantly. Shikamaru only said that when he figured something out. Giving me a pointed look, he said "So you like both of them."
My eyes widened in surprise. "But I can't like both of them! That's impossible."
Shikamaru looked at me with confusion. "Why? What's impossible about it?"
"You can't like two people at the same time!" I hissed.
"Why?" Now Shikamaru looked bored, as if I was just being an idiot.
I glared at him. "Because that's not the way things are supposed to be done!"
Shikamaru glared back at me. "Is this the same Naruto who lightened the taxes on the ports, even though that's the way things have been done for centuries? The same Naruto who allowed his Nobles to marry outside of his Kingdom, even though it went against the way things were done?" Shikamaru snorted. "Since when have you cared about the way things are supposed to be done?"
I couldn't argue with him there, though I really, really wanted to. Leaning back into my chair, I gave in. "Fine, I like both of them. Doesn't really matter, not like I could do anything about it now. They're married, to each other."
Shikamaru was silent for a few moments before he quietly mumbled something. "Huh?" I asked, turning towards him. Shikamaru sighed. "I said, I think you should tell them."
I stared at him, dumbfounded, before shouting "ARE YOU CRAZY!"
The whole room went silent, everyone staring at me. Blushing, I sunk down into my chair and mumbled an apology. I happened to glance over at Sasuke and Hinata to find the first scowling at me and the latter giving me a small smile. I mouthed sorry at them, which softened Sasuke's glare and made Hinata's smile grow.
As soon as the room was back to its normal noise level I turned to glare at Shikamaru, who only stared blankly back at me. "Why on Earth would I tell them I liked them?"
"Why wouldn't you tell them?" He asked.
"Because they're married and it would ruin my friendship with them."
"Is that all?" He asked, sounding perplexed.
I had to stop myself from shouting again. "Is that all? What other reasons do I need to not tell them?"
Shikamaru gave me a strange look. "I just think that if you tell them, they might surprise you."
I was about to ask him what he meant when someone slumped over me. Looking up, I stared into the hazy eyes of the only person stupid enough to publicly humiliate their King like that. "Inuzuka! What are you doing?"
Kiba Inuzuka just smiled back at me before taking a swig of his beer. I swear, if he wasn't my most loyal commander, and a good friend of mine, I would have him thrown into the stockades right then and there. "Man, Naruto, loosen up. Did you forget that tomorrow we finally win this crappy war?!"
I tried not to smile back at him, but it was hard. The 'crappy war', as Kiba called, was a lengthy war (about ten years now) that the devious King Orochimaru started over a tea cup. Yeah, a tea cup. After the last time I visited the pale King, he accused me of stealing a tea cup. Obviously I didn't still one (who would want something of the slimy bastard's) and told him so. We went back and forth until Orochimaru declared that if I didn't return the cup, he would go to war. I tried to appease him, saying I would get another tea cup and it wasn't something to go to war over, but of course it didn't stop him. The tea cup was just a rouse, a way to start a war the King was sure he could win.
I proved him wrong, my side wining most of the battles (it helped that surrounding Kingdoms threw their support with me). Tomorrow was the finally battle with the last of Orochimaru's army.
Shikamaru stiffened next to me. Crap, I knew that look he was giving me. It was his 'I'm-about-to-lecture-you-on-something' look. "Speaking of the battle tomorrow, my King, I don't see any reason why you have to go."
I sighed, having had all my other advisors tell me the same thing. "Because I'm honor bound to meet Orochimaru on the battlefield. If I didn't show up, it would say something about my character."
Shikamaru frowned, but he didn't say anything more. He knew that when it came to discussions of honor, I would win (mostly because I stubbornly refused to do anything but the honorable one).
As the night went on, my thoughts once again turned towards Sasuke and Hinata and what Shikamaru said. Should I tell them? They both have been commenting that I've seemed distant lately. If I told them why (because I couldn't stand to be in the same room as them and all their happiness), what would they say? Would they be disgusted? Would they understand? Would they, a part of me whispered, return my feelings?
That last thought shocked me, as I have never thought that it was possible for them to return my feelings. Did they love me? Once upon a time, Hinata once said she wished it was me she was getting married to and not Sasuke. But that was before Sasuke stopped hating her just because he was forced to be with her. Now, she truly adores Sasuke. But could she love me, too? Sure, we got along, but that wasn't any reason to think she felt the same about me as I did about her.
And what about Sasuke? He never said anything against the act of homosexuality, but that didn't mean he was for it. How would he feel hearing his best friend confess to him? With Sasuke, I could never really tell how he felt about some things. Did Sasuke return my feelings? Could he?
Could I have my two best friends? Or was my love just a fantasy, a dream?
~Line~
The next day, the soldiers were antsy, ready to get this war done for. I was in my room, putting on my armor when a knock on my door startled me.
"Come in!" I called. I was surprised when the opening of the door revealed Sasuke and Hinata. "What are you guys doing here? Come to wish me luck? To bask in my glory?" I smirked at them, ignoring the pounding of my heart upon seeing them. Last night, I had decided to take Shikamaru's advice and tell the two Royals about how I felt, right after I returned. Though my resolve wavered every time I looked into their eyes.
"More like your stupidity." I scowled at Sasuke's smirk, but noted his dark eyes were serious. I mean, more serious than usual. His smirk turned into a frown. "Naruto…you better not die."
I looked at him in shock. What? Where was this coming from? I've been in several other wars, why would he say that to me this time? "Y-you know me, teme! I'm invincible!" I smiled at him, but when he didn't return my smile I knew something was up.
"N-Naruto." I turned towards Hinata, really curious now. Hinata hasn't stuttered in front of me since we were little kids. "…Please. Just be careful."
I frowned as I looked between the two of them. Hinata wouldn't look at me, choosing instead to stare at her hands. Sasuke…Sasuke was blushing! It was barely visible, but I could see it. "Ok, what's up? Why are you guys acting so weird?"
Sasuke glared at me. "Can't we be worried about our friend?"
I shook my head. "Yeah, except you guys' have never acted like this all the other times I've been to war. So give. What's troubling you?"
The two looked at each other, seeming to gather their courage. It was Hinata who spoke "Naruto, we l-"
"Your Majesty? Your soldiers are ready." I turned to see a messenger boy at the door. Giving him a nod to let him know I heard him and I would be down momentarily, the boy left.
I turned back towards the now scowling two. "What were you going to say, Hinata?"
"…I think it best we wait till you come back. It might take a while."
I scrunched my nose at them, not sure why they just couldn't tell me now, but nodded. "Sure. Want to have dinner? It'd just be the three of us."
"That's fine." Hinata's voice was so soft I almost didn't hear her. Wow, whatever they want to tell me must really be bothering them.
"…Well, I guess I'll be seeing you guys then." I started to walk out when a call for my name made me stop and turn back around. To find a pair of lips on mine. The kiss was rough, fast and hard, the tongue forcing its way past my lips and mapping out my mouth.
Sasuke pulled back and stare into my shocked eyes. Then a gentle touch made me look down at Hinata. She leaned up and gave me a soft kiss, her lips ghosting over mine. She too pulled back to stare into my eyes. I was too shocked to say anything, so I just stood there, like an idiot, with my mouth open.
A hand on my shoulder jerked me out of my stupor and I turned to look at Sasuke. "We'll talk about this at dinner. Be there." Then he was gone, walking out my door.
Hinata turned my attention to her. "Please be safe, Naruto. Please come back." I just dumbly nodded, my voice not yet having returned to me. She left too.
All the way down to where my soldiers waited, I was in a daze. I barely heard what Kiba told me, just nodded here and there. I stared out into space as we made our way to the battlefield, thoughts running through my head, all revolving around two dark haired and pale skinned people. It was only when Kiba nudged me, hard, that I was awoken from my thoughts. I blinked, realizing we were at the battlefield. Orochimaru's army was across the field from us, no more than two hundred of them.
I quickly scanned them, looking for the flag that told the enemy that the King was here. Finding none, I sighed. Of course Orochimaru didn't' show up. He had no honor. Probably fled to save his own hide. "Are we ready?" I asked Kiba. Kiba called back to the soldiers and a roar was his answer. "Good. Let's get this done." Drawing my sword, I shouted charge, leading my people into battle.
High off the elation that my love might be returned, I cut down my enemies swiftly and with precision. No man could stand in my way. I was eventually knocked off my horse, but even then I was a force to be reckoned with. Sasuke's and Hinata's pleas for me to return safely fueled my every move, my sword striking like lighting.
I grinned as another enemy fell and took the chance to look around. We were winning, that much was clear. Most of the bodies on the ground bared the crest of Orochimaru and very few of the enemy was left. We was going to do it, I would win this war and return home to confess my love to-
Searing hot pain stabbed through me and I swung around, catching the soldier off guard, making it easier for me to cut at his vulnerable neck. As my attacker fell, so did I, falling down to one knee. I gasped, the pain burning its way through me. I was hit and it looked pretty bad.
No. I can't die. Not now. The faces of Sasuke and Hinata flashed before my eyes. I have to go home. I have to tell them. I can't die without telling them.
I move to stand up and immediately regretted it. My legs started to wobble, my strength waning. My eyesight starts to blur before I shake it off. No, I have to tell them. Each step is agonizing, excruciating. Pain shoots through every nerve, but I bear it. I have to tell them.
I almost forgot there was a war going on. I'm reminded when another blow strikes my back. I again fall to my knees with a scream as my attacker is killed by one of my soldiers.
"Sir, are you alright?" He asks.
"Keep fighting soldier." I manage, though it was hard to even think the words. Everything was getting blurry. "Win this war."
"…Yes sir." The soldier understands as well as I do. I'm dying and there's nothing I can do about it.
"Soldier, one last request." I grit out. The soldier kneels down next to me and I lean in closer to him. "Please, tell King and Queen Uchiha…I'm sorry. I couldn't keep their promise." I started coughing up blood, my time dwindling down to seconds. "Tell them…I've always loved them. And I hope to be able to express that love in the next life." The soldier looks hesitant and I grab him. "Promise me…you'll tell them."
"I promise, my King."
"Good. Now get back to fighting. We still have a war to win!" I cough up more blood.
"Yes, sir!" The soldier ran off, even more determined to fight, to make sure that the last order from his King is fulfilled.
I look up at the sky, the sounds of fighting disappear, and a memory of Sasuke, Hinata, and I appears in my mind, as clear as this day. It was one moment where I wasn't completely filled with hatred and guilt. The three of us sat in my room, at the small table I used for guest. We were having dinner, drinking wine and eating freshly cooked boar. The sun was beginning to set, the light shining through my window. The colors of orange and pink splashed inside, painting an everlasting picture. Sasuke was as relaxed as he'll ever be, a small smile on his face, his long fingers cutting through the air as he told a story, the details of which I don't remember. Hinata looked at him as she always had, with admiration and gratitude, her love for him never wavering. She brushes her hair out of her face as she laughs and I join her, our voices melded into harmony. I was happy then. So very happy. I know now I should have told them about my love, but it's too late. Far too late. This love was just a painful, beautiful dream.
I slowly look back down to see a soldier standing in front of me. He was from the other side. I look into his eyes as he raises his sword and see nothing. He'll kill me because it was his duty to. I'm inexplicably sadden by this. I wish the eyes I stared into held some emotion, not this vast emptiness. I don't need a reminder that, even in my last moments, I'm alone.
Again, Sasuke and Hinata flash through my mind. Strong Sasuke. Gentle Hinata. I wish for your happiness for the rest of your lives. I wish I didn't have so many regrets concerning you. I love you.
"I'm sorry." I whisper out loud as the sword cuts through my neck.
~Line~
I wake up with a gasp, clutching my throat. I could still feel the ghost of the sword cutting through.
"Naruto? What's wrong?"
I turn to find Hinata sitting up in our bed, giving me a very worried look. I try to smile at her, but it hurts. My heart still remembers the guilt.
"Dobe, did you have another nightmare?"
I turned to the other side to see Sasuke glaring at me as he rubs the sleepiness from his eyes. I scratch the back of my head and nervously smile.
"I'm sorry." How ironic that the last words I spoke in my dream are the first words I'd speak to them this morning. Remembering my desperation to fulfill my promise, to tell them the truth, I pull both of them into a hug. "I love you guys."
Hinata blushes, mumbling an "I love you" back, as she returns my hug.
Sasuke sighs and struggles to get out. "We know you do, you tell us every single day."
I turned toward him. "That's because I don't want you guys to ever forget." And, now, because I know what it feels like to not say it.
Sasuke rolls his eyes before giving me a quick peck on the cheek. "I doubt we could ever forget an idiot like you." I frown at him, but Hinata rubs my back reassuring.
"We will always love you Naruto. Even Sasuke, though he hates to admit it." Hinata giggles as Sasuke gives an "hn" and lays back down to go back to sleep.
I smile at Hinata and kiss her. "I know you guys do. And I'm sorry I woke you up."
"Nothing to be sorry about. Just go back to sleep." Grumbles Sasuke.
"We'll be here if you have another bad dream." Hinata says, giving a soft smile.
I return her smile before making myself comfortable between them, Sasuke's warm heat at my back and Hinata wrapped tightly in my arms. As I'm about to fall back to sleep, I hear a mumbled "I love you guys too…I guess" from Sasuke's side.
Laughing quietly, I mentally slap myself. Even in a dream, I couldn't believe I doubted their love for me.
This love was not just a dream.
Please review and tell me what you think!
