It had been two years since the Blight had ended but you felt as if it was fresh in your mind, everything that you've went through had hardened your resolve and now that you're a commander you feel the confidence and the courage to lead the new Grey Wardens in to a new age.
Today however was tiresome and you find yourself wondering where your lover is now, it had been two years since he told you to wait for him because he had some business to take care of with the crows and that once it's over he will return.
He still writes to you, sending you letters and the odd gift every now and then, Alistair said to you when you visited him at the castle that the one you're waiting for will be alright and that you worry too much.
Yet you tell him that you couldn't help but worry since he was the only one you'd ever love.
You tossed yourself on to your bed in your chamber room, you listen to the sound of Oghren telling off the new recruits about disturbing you and you felt relieved that he was here; some of the others would visit.
Wynne would stop by every now and then but you hear from Irving that she's getting weaker by the day but her visits were always the ones you enjoyed.
Sten would make the odd visit every now and then but that was only to check the artwork that their new base of operations had, you even gave him a piece of work he seemed very fond of and Sten had said he remembered the days where the both of you argued and fought together and even said to you that besides your naivety, you were a good leader.
Leliana would also come by, checking up on you to make sure you weren't missing the one you were waiting for too much, she even asked for your hand in courtship but you pleasantly declined, saying that you viewed her as a sister and nothing more even though she seemed upset, she accepted your decision.
Morrigan on the other hand was more incognito, you worry about her everyday and wonder where she was, since she and Alistair had lain together and have a child, you worry that Morrigan might corrupt or spoil the child.
Either way it kind of scares you thinking on a mini Morrigan slash Alistair half breed running around.
Alistair visits whenever he sneaks out of the castle and usually tells you the updates in politics but mostly to ease the worries and concerns that you had ebbing in the back of your mind.
There are moments you felt as if he was watching over you but you knew that was hopeful thinking.
There were even nights when you felt someone's hand running through your hair and a light kiss on your lips, you felt like he was speaking to you, the phrase iGood night Wildflower, I will comeback to you when my work is done/i.
There are nights when you couldn't sleep, you just wanted him to be here with you, to feel his lips on yours, to hold his hand in your own and listen to his alluring voice as it caresses you.
Nights where you whispered "I miss you" while you sat on your bed, listening to the sounds of the nightlife in Denerim or some of the other warden's late night training.
One day while you were out on a mission with some of the new recruits, you came by a group of assassins sent to kill you, you defeated them easily with the help of your wardens, Oghren seemed to be very use to commanding some of the new recruits on what to do.
You all managed to keep one of them alive when he looked at you he smirked, like he was looking down on you.
"So you're that traitor's whore?" he snarled, like it was to provoke you, you just stood your ground while one of the recruits, a young elf, Andras snapped at him.
"Hold your tongue assassin; don't speak that way to Commander Surana"
"Stand down Shion" Nathanial warned, making sure that his fellow warden from Orlais does not lose composure "The commander can speak for himself"
Oghren gave the young elf a pat on the back "It's alright lad, we all get a little bit angry sometimes"
"I take it you must be from the Crows" you finally spoke, approaching the prisoner "What is your reasoning for attacking us?" you asked to which the prisoner cackled
"What else? You killed members of our guild, you even turned one against us, the Crows aren't too fond of you, they plan to kill you along with the traitor"
You felt scared, thinking that the one you love would have to handle assassins like this days in and out, yet you knew deep down that he will be alright, if he was able to survive against dragons, the undead and dark spawn then a few assassins would be no trouble for him.
"Well tell your guild that if this is the best they've got then there is no way they will ever kill us, even if they send a hundred of you" you untied the prisoner, pulling out your bow and arrow and aimed it at him.
"I'm told I'm a good shot, some people even say that I aimed for the dragon's eyes with a single shot from my bow, how far do you think you will run to before an arrow will hit your shoulder?"
The man looked at you, horrified as he ran, you waited for a couple of minutes until he was nearly out of sight and then drew the arrow with the string, keeping your eye on the target, knowing you'd hit your mark but there are times when you are slightly off however it did not seem to be this time as you let the arrow fly, hearing a far out cry as you did so.
Your recruits looked at you in awe while Oghren admired your handy work.
Once you returned to the keep, you find Alistair waiting for you at the entrance of your chamber, you walk in and he follows.
"Well I see that your busy as usual Yuven, how are the new recruits?" he asks, you could tell by the way he stared, that he had something to say, Alistair always had something to say.
"The new recruits are doing well, there's especially one I'm holding high hopes for" Alistair cocked an eyebrow while folding eyes, leaning on the wall with his arms folded over his light brown tunic.
"Oh wait don't tell me, let me guess, Nathanial Howe right?" a sigh ran from your lips, Nathanial was one of the people you were thinking on but Alistair wasn't too far off.
"Nathanial does show some skills for a pariah but he is one of the ones I'm thinking on"
"Funny way for you to talk about someone who tried to kill you~" silence came between you two as you both remembered that your in a relationship with another person who once tried to kill you.
"Ahem so then who is the other?" you paused for a moment, wondering if Alistair would approve of your words.
"Shion Andras"
"The Keeper Mage from Orlais?" Alistair sounded surprised for a moment before giving you a risen brow.
You knew he would react this way, your fingers caressing the ear ring out of habit as you continued in your explanation.
"He's a good mage, he wields the forces of nature well like Velanna but he has a sort of charm in him, he shows some good leadership qualities if not for the fact that he's too innocent, in fact he was never raised within a tower like me or Anders, he was pretty much sheltered from the world and he's too kind"
You heard Alistair trying to withhold a chuckle; you look at him through wondering eyes, thinking what was so funny?
"Is there something funny Alistair?"
He stops, looks at you and smiles lightly, Alistair replied "If I remember correctly you were like that once yourself Yuven" frozen by the statement, you look back upon those times that you and Alistair shared and smiled a little, especially when they were focused on one person.
"Your still worried about him aren't you?" you couldn't help but nod, the only other person that could see in to your thoughts was Alistair, he could read you like a book sometimes while other times he plays the fool.
"Yes" you flopped yourself down on to the bed, pulling your knees close to your chest, you feel yourself shiver ever so slightly "I can't help it, I mean we've always been together and now that we've been apart for so long I feel a little lonely you know?"
"Well at least he's writing to you" he knew of the letters, in fact Alistair was sometimes the one who was giving them to you, the letters from your beloved. "I mean, things probably aren't that bad for him if he's writing to you"
Alistair walked and sat himself next you, putting an arm around your shoulders and rested his chin on your head.
"Besides, I'm here if your feeling lonely, you should've accepted my invitation"
"A lowly Grey Warden should not live in the castle of a king, besides I'm not much for royalty, you of all people know that" you respond, Alistair furrowed his brow
"I wouldn't call the hero of Fereldin a lowly Grey warden, besides we're like family anyways"
You slowly shake your head, reminding yourself that even though Alistair is king, he is a little bit naïve.
"That's not the point and you know it, the nobles will start saying that his majesty is letting a lowly elf, who also happens to be a mage to wonder round freely within the castle walls and we all know how the Chantry hates it when one of their prisoners is given power to even control them"
"Hm, I see your point" Alistair mumbled "The Chantry is still trying to keep their hold around the mages, even when I made a new rule to allow mages watch over their own activities"
"Yes, the Chantry is a little jumpy" you stated, knowing all to well what the Chantry is capable of to keep their hold around your kind. "And think about it, me staying in the castle and if anything goes wrong, the Chantry will see it as an opportunity to say that I would be an example of a mage being free to do whatever he wants, it wouldn't really make a difference in the Grey Wardens but the Chantry will probably declare me an unholy creature"
"Hey now, we both know that your no creature" Alistair reminded you, removing his chin from your forehead and stared you in the eyes, your eyes locked and you saw how much knowledge and wisdom Alistair gained, you never noticed such a thing in your brother before.
"Or have you forgotten that you resisted the charms of demons, protected everyone, including members of the Chantry and need I remind you slain a very big dragon"
You sat there, bewildered for a moment until a thought came in to your head "And also that Morrigan is somewhere with your child?"
Awkward silence came between the two of you before Alistair turned his gaze downward, not looking you in the eye, probably remembering that experience.
"Thanks for reminding me Yuven" you chuckle lightly before your mind wondered back to the thoughts of your beloved, you still worry about where he is and if he's okay?
A few weeks after Alistair's visit, you came under fire of a threat that had made its way to your domain, the wardens were on full alert, a rogue assassin has threatened to take you down for what you have done to the Crows.
You find yourself sighing, wondering when the morons would get the hint.
"Damn Crows, they never learn" Oghren snapped, he turned to you looking for orders "So what are we going to do about this Yuven?" he calls you by your first name because you asked him to, it felt weird for the dwarf to call you icommander/i all the time.
You sit on your chair, a glass of water coiled in your fingers "I don't suppose we can ignore it, it has details of what happened to Talisen and the other assassins, funny I could've sworn that I-"
"Your blades weren't sharp enough back then" Oghren interrupted "We can't ignore something like this, even if it is a hoax, someone has threatened your life and as your subordinates we must protect you"
You feel slightly touched knowing that Oghren and some of the other Wardens valued you enough to protect you "Thank you for telling me that Oghren but I think I'll be alright, if I can deal with a dragon then I think I can deal with an assassin"
Oghren stared for a moment, locking gazes before he wondered to the door of the lobby and opened it, revealing more than twenty wardens, including Shion, Nathanial and other familiar faces.
"Why don't you soding tell them that!" the dwarf snapped.
Shion Andras ran in to the lobby and stood right before you, he looked very concerned and for a moment you thought you saw yourself in his eyes.
"Commander Surana please let us help you!" Shion pleaded, he looked very worried, his red eyes pierced through your chest while he stood there, fists balled like he was ready to challenge anything that stood in his way "We all want to help you; you've been so kind to us, just let us help you!"
Anders approached along with Nathanial and Velanna, the older mage seemed to have shared the younger one's views "Yes, if it wasn't for you I'd still be locked up in the tower for the rest of my life, I want to repay you in whatever way I can"
Nathanial didn't seem to be as eager to be near you, he tapped Shion on the head before he spoke "I am one of your subordinates so I have no choice" Shion, Anders and Velanna narrowed their eyes at the Howe before he coughed nervously and replied "But if it weren't for you, I would probably still be locked up in that dungeon or worse…"
You didn't know how to react, you just felt so overwhelmed by this that you felt like you would start crying but you stomped down those feelings, if you showed weakness in front of them then it wouldn't go down so well.
"Plus" you look at Shion who looked at you with concerned eyes "I think his Majesty would be sad too if anything happened to you"
The thought of Alistair appeared in your head, you knew exactly what he would do if he was here but the one person you wanted to see more than anyone was him…
The next couple of days were hectic, there were warden's keeping an eye on you where ever you go, when you decided to go out for a walk, Shion accompanied you only to get the two of you lost.
There was a moment when you decided to go out and get supplies but Oghren made sure to snatch the list out of your hand and handed it to one of the new recruits.
You were stuck with Nathanial through meal times and Anders managed to keep you up through out the night.
Even though you knew that they were worried and didn't want anything to happen to you, there were times you felt as if this was going a bit too far.
One night, you slept in your bed, slipping Anders a sleeping potion while the latter wasn't paying attention, when you put him to bed you settled in to your own bed and slumbered for a little while.
Your dreams take you to a place where it was just the two of you, a memory from your journeys together…
"Are you alright?" he turns to you with golden honey eyes before looking away again.
"I was kind of worried about you" it was after the fight with Talisen, he offered you an earring a few days later but you humbly declined, since then he seemed a little bit distant.
"Were you?" he queries "Well you have nothing to worry about Wildflower, I'm fine" he was lying, you knew him better than anyone at this point but there was something in your throat, a big lump that stopped you from saying anything more.
"Is there something you wish to talk about?" you stand there, staring at his back, you felt scared, like your heart was going to break down if you continued the conversation.
Yet you knew that things can't remain like this…
You feel as if you couldn't cope, you fear that you, Yuven Surana would mess everything up…
But you couldn't let the awkwardness go on like this…
"Um" you begin, he seems to be waiting for your answer and turns his head a little, you could not see his eyes but you felt the lump in your throat getting bigger, like it was suffocating you "I-I-"
You felt like you were acting like a nervous maid.
"I was wondering if you wanted to come to my tent tonight?" he still does not turn to face you, looking towards the stars, the light touching his golden hair, illumination the fine strands.
"Is there nothing else you can think of than that" he chuckled but it felt like he was annoyed or fed up at you "No, I can not"
It felt tense, it was almost suffocating, at this moment you find your gaze looking towards the grass, tears about to overflow from your eyes but you tried to keep them at bay.
"Zevran" you begin, trying to keep the tremble from your voice as you spoke "You've been acting different"
"A lot has happened Wildflower, I'm just a little bit tired…"
You didn't want to ask the question but you felt at the time as if you had no choice, you decided at that moment if he no longer loved you then you would be the one to end it.
"Is it because you want to end our relationship" The older elf turned and looked at you, as if horrified as you look down on the ground, the tears already about to overflow from your now swollen cheeks "I-If that's the case then I-" you couldn't even bring yourself to finish the sentence but you knew you had to "I-I'll understand-"
"That's not it!" Zevran run towards you, grabbing your wrist and pulls you in to a tight embrace, his hand running through your hair as his strong chest muffled your whimpers.
"That's not it at all" he whispers to you "I should have known something like this would happen, it's not because I want to sever our ties Wildflower" he explains softly "It's because I'm confused"
"Confused?" his eyes looked down upon you
"Yes, when I was growing up I lived around people with their illusion of love and when I was being trained by the crows they taught me to freeze my heart against those emotions" Zevran sounded like he was thinking about this for a long time and you knew you felt the same way, ever since you both got together you were also confused "I was taught to gain pleasure wherever and whenever I go but when I met you something felt different, I-I…"
His arms squeezed ever so slightly around your small frame "I just felt so confused at it all…"
"W-What are you trying to say?" you asked, looking at him, tears still smeared on your cheeks "Are you saying you love me?" you whisper, afraid of saying the 'L-O-V-E' word.
"How could you know?" he asks, snuggling his chin on the top of your head "Anyway, I'm just wondering if…if you…what I'm trying to say is, do you perhaps…feel the same way?"
You never saw him like this before, all nervous and fumbling about; this must mean that he has been thinking about it for some time now.
"Whenever I met you and started this relationship I was really confused" you whispered "I-I was a bit scared at first, thinking if you were playing tricks on me but when I first said that I 'loved' you, you clammed up on me-"
"And then everything we went through, with the Ashes when that spirit mentioned the woman you were originally involved with I was kind of jealous of her, Andraste forgive me" the tears came back, your sobs began to echo "I-I was scared in case y-you never felt the same way I d-"
His lips smothered over your own, you felt his tongue thrusting in to your mouth, you closed your eyes, feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks, and your body felt so warm that you thought you would die from it.
When you both broke apart and he stared at your eyes with his, placing his forehead against yours, his cheeks coloured in the finest shades of pink and red.
"You know, I still have the ear ring" Zevran whispers, as if nervous "I-If I give it to you again, will you accept?"
You felt like a blushing maid, closing your eyes as you felt your heart thumping against your chest, it felt like a fire spell about to explode.
"Yes" was the only response you could muster out of your trembling lips.
It was still night when you slowly opened your eyes but once they focused, you gasped as you saw a man looming over you, dagger drawn about to slash it down upon you, once it came down you jumped out of bed and snatched a dagger that was lying close by.
"So you're Zevran's fuck toy?" the assassin growled "Why did he ever leave us for you?"
"Who sent you assassin?" you snapped, not one dancing round the flames, the assassin charges towards you, he was fast, very fast but you managed to dodge a couple of his strikes, you curse at him for being so quick and not having an opportunity to cast a spell.
"Trying to cast a spell huh? I guess that's what I should expect from a mage, using those demonic powers" he managed to smack the blade out of your hand, grabbing you by the wrist and flung you down on to the bed.
"How did Talisen fail to kill someone so weak?" the assassin snapped, keeping both of your hands out of reach, you glare at him, wondering how to get out of the situation.
"Now that I get a closer look at you, you look like a woman" the assassin brought the blade up to your throat, you gulped but refused to scream. "Why don't you scream?" he asks
"Why would I scream for someone who tries to kill me in my sleep and not face me fairly?" he inches the blade closer to your throat but still you refuse to scream or whimper.
"Mouthy little bitch aren't you?" but then it was the assassin who froze this time as you saw a blade appearing in front of his neck.
"If I were you my friend, I would step back from him if I were you" you felt like you were dreaming that voice, you longed to hear that voice.
"Coming after me is one thing" your rescuer spoke, you looked up to see a man standing behind your assassin, a cloak draped around his frame while his face was covered by a hood yet you could see the blond hair glimmering under the faint light.
"But coming after Commander Surana is another, I am angry that the Crows would target my beloved and while he tries to sleep no less, I will show no mercy to the likes of you!"
"You show me no mercy? When the Crows find you, they won't show you any mercy Zevran" the assassin snarled, dropping his blade and rising to his feet, allowing you to move out of the way.
"That maybe so my friend but tell me? Do you think the Crows will have use for you if I sever your head from your body?" you see his eyes, your saviour's eyes, and notice how much he seemed to have changed from the last time both of you crossed paths.
The man flinched when Zevran tipped the blade closer to his neck, he gasped a little "Oh, are you afraid? Funny, I don't remember the one you were trying to kill making any noise, I guess this proves that a warden has more courage and strength than a mere third rate assassin no?"
"B-Bastard, the crows will get you for this" the man snapped
"Ah, I remember you now, you were one of the assassins that ran away when we came by Tailsen, and so the Crows sent you to correct your faults for running away from the battlefield?"
You gasp at the sudden information, that's when it all made sense, the letter that you had received involving details of how you and Zevran slain Tailsen on your way to the Lands meet, only someone who was there could come by this information and knowing the specific details of what happened.
"I wonder if I let you live, would the Crows accept another mistake, I think not" you were surprised when you saw Zevran retrieving his blade and walked over to you side, making sure to stand in front of you, just in case.
"Right now, they probably now declare your life in to forfeit and as much as I hate you, there's no point dirtying my blade with your cowardly blood, a dark spawn has more honour than you do" the man stood there growling before he bit his lip and jumped out through the window, realising that his days were probably numbered.
Zevran walked towards the window, making sure that there weren't any more surprises before turning his attention back to you.
You felt nervous, as if your heart had made a big leap into your throat as the vibrations of the organ thumped through out your entire body.
For a moment you wondered if this was real or a cruel dream, the image was in your head for a while but you just felt relieved and happy that this moment was real.
Zevran smirked, placing a hand on to your cheek, you were about to say something until he tugged your hair, making you yelp.
"Your hair has gotten longer since the last time we met Wild Flower, I guess what Alistair wrote in his letters were true"
You made a pout "Is that any way of saying hello? We haven't seen each other for two years and you pull my hair!" you lightly pounded your fists on to his chest while your beloved knight in shining armour chuckled.
"You jerk!" you cried, the tears you had inside you for too long began to overflow and everything you locked up came flowing out at once "Do you have any idea how worried I was! Antivan gigolo! Moron!"
The Antivan kind of froze for a moment before he sighed, wrapping his arms gently around you "I take it I've caused you some grief, I'm sorry Wildflower"
"You're a jerk, a sweet talking, manipulative jerk" you found yourself saying "But you're my jerk"
"Is that your way of saying you missed me?"
A frown made it's way on to your tear face, you yank him by the scruff of his cloak and kissed him on the lips.
This seemed to have shocked him until he began to smile and kissed you gently back.
"Welcome home Zevran" you whisper gently, holding him in your arms, never daring to let go in case he disappeared from your arms again. He seemed happy to return the hug and you rested your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeats as if to reassure yourself that this event was real and not a dream.
"I missed you"
"I almost forgotten how beautiful you are" Zevran rested his chin upon your red locks, his left hand cupping your cheek, slowly tilting it up to see him, his eyes were brighter now than the last time you saw them.
"When I was travelling across the land, the only thing that kept me sane, that kept me going was the dream of coming back to you, holding you in my arms and kiss you, I have waited for so long for this moment"
You felt tears overflowing from your eyes again, your heart began to beat so fast you thought you would faint.
You chuckled and said to him "Your such a drama queen"
"And you're as sarcastic as ever I see"
Another chuckle escaped through trembling lips, arms wrapped around the neck of your beloved as you pulled him on to the mattress of your bed and gave him a peck on the cheek.
"Be quiet and kiss me"
A chesire cat like grin grew on your lover's face as he pressed his forehead against yours and whispered
"With pleasure Commander Wildflower"
End
Author Note: