A/N: Hey everyone...
So I'm back with yet another small Klaroline one-shot. This one is a little angsty, sad and... well, let's just say that I haven't been feeling well these last couple of days. I've been constantly reminiscing about my mother who passed away in 2011.
Some of the parts in this story, were inspired by her. Caroline in this story, is inspired by her, and all the strength she had.
It may be OOC, but this is an AU story, so I think the characters have the right to be OOC. At least in this story.
I hope you like it.
WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M BECAUSE OF CHARACTER DEATH AND SUICIDE. I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING, AND I DON'T WANT PEOPLE GETTING ANY IDEAS FROM THIS STORY. KEEP READING AT YOUR OWN RISK.
ALSO, listen to the song "Moments", performed by One Direction, written by ED SHEERAN (aka the maker of Klaroline music)! Start off gently with the acoustic tribute version: www. youtube (dot com here! slash and then the rest) watch?v=-PzGIqa8qkw before listening to the "real" version.
Enjoy.
"Mr. Mikaelson, could I please speak with you for a moment?" the doctor said. In her hand, she held some papers and charts. Slowly, she used her index finger to pushed her glasses up her nose, while examining her notes again. "In private, please."
Klaus was sitting by the bed, holding onto the young woman's hand for his life. She squeezed his hand, even though it was awfully weak.
"It's okay," she said, her eyes only half-opened. "It'll be okay."
"I'll be right back Sweetheart," Klaus said, kissing her fingertips carefully before standing up. "Rebekah, stay with her," he ordered his younger sister. "Elijah, please come with me. I don't understand anything they're telling me anymore."
Elijah nodded, standing up as well as their sister took Klaus' seat and held onto the girl's hand in his place.
The two brothers followed the doctor out of the room and into the hallway.
"Please follow me," the doctor said, leading the way to a room a bit further down the hall. Klaus' fingers twitched for a moment. He didn't like being too far from her, even if it was just for a few minutes. Every second with her seemed like a precious moment he didn't want to risk missing.
The doctor lead them into a room and Klaus' eyes immediately went to the chair in front of the huge board in front of him. "Take a seat Mr. Mikaelson," the doctor said politely, yet sternly.
"You have to be more specific, doctor," Klaus said. "Both of us are Mikaelson's."
"You know who I'm talking to, Klaus," the doctor said, a sad smile appearing on her face.
"I'd rather stand," he replied curtly, as the doctor nodded, taking out a couple of pictures from an envelope, putting them up on the board in front of the two men.
"These are Caroline's latest radiology images," she finally said. Elijah tried to hold it in, but the small gasp slipped out anyway. His eyes went to his brother, who's lip immediately trembled as he sat down on the chair, putting his head in his hands, covering his eyes. As the older brother, Elijah tried to be comforting by putting a hand on his shoulder. "The cancer has only gotten worse, Klaus," the doctor said softly. "It has spread to her pancreas and her kidneys too now, as you can see with these dark spots-"
"What exactly are you saying doctor?" Klaus snapped, finally putting his head up. "Are you telling me she's going to die?"
"Klaus-" the doctor began, but he interrupted.
"How long does she have this time?" he asked. "When you found the cancer, you told her that she only had two months to live. She came home to me, crying, begging me to make them the best two months of her life, because they were her last," he informed the doctor, who looked away for a moment. "Caroline has lived for a whole year. She was fine, just a few weeks ago. You told us the results were good, and now you're telling me that it has spread?"
"Niklaus," Elijah snapped, stopping his brother from ranting. He had a feeling that Klaus was loosing control. His younger brother didn't like feeling helpless, and at the moment, he was feeling completely lost. "Is there anything that can be done?" Elijah asked.
"I'm afraid there isn't anything left," the doctor replied, shaking her head. "We've tried everything. I'm sorry."
Klaus once again buried his head in his hands, not wanting anyone to see the tears that were threatening to fall.
His love.
His Caroline.
When Klaus returned to the room with Elijah, Rebekah, Caroline's mother and the rest of Caroline's friends, who had apparently come to visit her, stood up. Klaus instantly took his place in the chair next to Caroline again, while Elijah asked the others to come with him, so that he could fill them in on what the doctor had said.
Seconds, minutes, hours passed, but Klaus couldn't bring himself to tell Caroline what the doctor had told him.
After another moment of silence, Caroline spoke. "It's bad, isn't it?" she asked, her voice raspy and weak.
"Love, it's-" Klaus began, but she hushed him.
"Since I met you, you haven't lied to me once. Don't start now, please," she said, opening her eyes slightly, to look at him. She gave him a tearful smile. "Now tell me. Please."
"The doctor said that the cancer has spread. I honestly didn't listen to her after she told me that," Klaus said, trying to keep his voice even. He held her hand tightly, and she squeezed it, just as she had done before he had walked out of the room to receive the news from the doctor.
"It'll be okay, Klaus," she whispered, still smiling. "Whatever happens, it'll be okay."
Desperately trying to hide the fact that tears were filling his eyes, he stood and kissed the top of her bare head, before kissing her lips once.
"It's going to be okay," Caroline whispered again against his lips, as she held onto him.
Klaus watched her intently, his hand still in hers.
"Everyone, please get out," he said. His siblings, Caroline's mother and her friends, looked at him strangely. "Please, just- Just get out."
With eyes filled with tears, they left the room and he was left alone with her. During the night, she had gotten worse. While they had been laughing together, reminiscing about the first time they had met, their first date and all the good times they had spent together the last three years they had known each other, she had collapsed and slipped into a coma. Fifteen hours had passed since he had heard her voice, and the doctors said that they were just waiting for the moment now.
"Caroline," he whispered, his voice thick. "Caroline, please. Please just wake up. I'm begging you. Please wake up." He inhaled sharply as a sob shook him.
She wouldn't wake up.
He knew it. He just didn't want to believe it.
"Just wake up so that I can tell you that I love you," he whispered, gently putting his hand against her cheek. "I know you found the ring," he whispered. "I know now what you meant when you told me not to ask you until you were feeling better. I understand now, Caroline." He wiped away his tears furiously. "So would you please wake up so I can tell you how much I love you? One last time?"
The machines beeped slowly. The tube in her mouth, that was helping her breathe at the moment made sounds that he wished he would never have to hear again; sounds that he wished she would never have had to make in the first place. Instead of begging her to wake up again, he held her small hand in his once again, leaning closer to her ear.
"I will help your mother," he whispered. "Through it all. I won't leave until she throws me out, which she probably will sooner or later," he joked, silently hoping that she would wake up magically and laugh at his lame attempt. "I will take care of everyone you've ever loved. I'll do everything I know you wanted to do. What you wanted us to do..." He trailed off, once again touching the soft skin on her head. "I love you, Caroline. I'll always love you. It'll be okay," he promised, just as she always had. "I love you," he repeated, kissing her forehead one more time, closing his eyes, hoping that it would all just be over soon.
Hoping she would be out of her suffering soon.
Caroline passed away that day and Klaus just couldn't bring himself to leave her side. He knew what had happened, but he didn't want to believe it. As he held onto her hand, he realized something. He had always thought it was he who gave her comfort while holding her hand. Now he knew it was the other way around.
She had been the one to give him strength.
Days, weeks, months passed. Klaus had helped Liz, Caroline's mother, to get back up on her feet, but she soon drowned herself in work, just to forget about everything that had happened. He still visited her, at least once a week. Nowadays, he usually just stayed in his and Caroline's apartment. In his apartment. Caroline wasn't alive anymore.
He looked at the picture in front of him, his throat going dry. Her face was radiant, her smile intoxicating. Everything about her was intoxicating.
Everything.
He stood up and walked over the phone and listened to the voice-messages.
"Klaus? Can you please answer? I'm worried about you... You haven't been yourself lately..." Rebekah's voice said.
"Brother... Please-" he erased Elijah's message before it even started.
"Hey, Klaus. It's Elena... I... I was wrong about you. You and Caroline. I thought you were wrong for her, but now I know that you made her happy... I'm sorry." He erased that message as well. In fact, he erased every message he had received these last couple of days.
He didn't want to hear from anyone anymore.
Not when she wasn't around anymore.
"Niklaus, please open the door," Elijah's voice called out as he banged on the door. He had been there for half an hour, banging on his brother's door.
"Go away Elijah," Klaus yelled back. "I want to be alone!"
"Klaus, please, don't do this to yourself! Don't isolate yourself from the world!" Elijah tried desperately. "She wouldn't have wanted that. Caroline wouldn't have wanted that!"
Klaus ran to the door, opening it immediately, grabbing his brother by the collar of his shirt and pushing him against the opposite wall in the hallway.
"Don't talk about what she would have wanted!" Klaus yelled furiously. "Don't tell me what you think she would have wanted for me! The only thing she would have wanted, is to be alive, so that she could be with me!" Klaus breathed heavily, as Elijah stared into his eyes. Soon a tear slipped down Elijah's cheek, startling Klaus.
"I'm sorry brother," Elijah said.
Klaus took a breath, before letting go of his brother. He leaned his head against his shoulder, as a sob racked through him. Elijah embraced him tightly, trying to keep him together, as he slowly began falling apart.
Klaus sat on the roof, looking at the scenery in front of him. This had been her favorite place to go to when things had gotten hard, especially towards the end. He had needed to clear his head.
Today he had spent most of the day, writing a letter to each and every one of his family members, as well as the people he now considered to be his friends. They had actually been Caroline's friends, but for some reason he felt obligated to make them his friends too, after she passed away.
He sat down and looked up at the stars as the cars honked their way through town. Tears filled his eyes again, as he thought of all the moments they had spent together before she had left him.
"Caroline..." he whispered, but he couldn't say anything else. He wanted to be with her. He wanted her to be alive. To be sitting next to him. To tell him it would be okay again.
Tears streamed down his face. He just wished for one more day with her. One day. So that he could tell her that he loved her again, and again, and again.
In the beginning, he didn't want to be reminded about what they had gone through. The doctors had suggested that he go to a therapist, in case he needed someone to talk to.
They didn't know that the only person he wanted to talk to, was Caroline.
"Caroline," he whispered again, burying his head in his hands, sobs shaking him. He wanted to scream his lungs out. To tell the world that he still loved her; that he would always love her.
"I love you," he said loudly. "I love you so, so much," he said even louder. He took a sip from the bottle he had taken with him.
"When we get married, I don't want champagne," she had told him once, when they sat up on the rooftop. "I want some good old bourbon."
In honor of her words, he was currently drowning himself in the best bourbon in town.
"Caroline," he said again. "All we needed, was time. We needed a little more time together. I love you... I love you." He put the bottle down, and stood by the edge, looking down at the street below him. It wasn't very high, he told himself.
His mind flashed back to the moment she had told him to get her a shaver, so that she could shave her head. She had been smiling as the first couple of locks fell from her head, telling him it would grow back once she got better. The second, third, fourth lock of golden hair that had fallen into the sink as she shaved it off, had been followed by tears, as she had sobbed, that everything would be okay, because it would all grow back again.
Once again, tears streamed down his face. He couldn't postpone it anymore. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to feel her touch, not just imagine that she was laying in their bed next to him; invisible, yet there.
"I'll be with you soon. It'll all be okay," he whispered, closing his eyes, as he took out the gun he had bought just a couple of days ago. Slowly, he put the gun to his temple.
"I love you."
A/N: I know, I know. It's probably crap. I just wanted to get some of my own angst out there.
I want to dedicate this little one-shot to my mother, the strongest woman in MY world. The last thing she told me, was that everything would be okay, and I hope to God that she was right.
In November this year, it'll be two years since she passed away, and I just want to share at least a part of her story.
I decided to just put in small fragments of what happened to her in this story, just so I could get my own emotions sorted. In this story, she is Caroline, and I am (partially) Klaus.
I hope you understand, and I hope you didn't hate it.
Thank you for your moment. I'll go back to writing happy things now.
Love,
Spicy
P.S I'm on tumblr now! And I have a new twitter account! Please follow! (Find links on my profile!)
