Author's Note: I was listening to Anywhere But Here by SafetySuit the other day and realized the lyrics matched Harry and Hermione's relationship almost perfectly - at least for me -, which inspired me and surprisingly made me finish this story in one hour or so... This is what came out, I hope you like it! x
Is this the end of the moment or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be or maybe be
Everything that I never thought could happen
Or ever come to pass and I wonder
If maybe, maybe I could be all you ever dreamed
As Harry pulled Hermione close and they swayed slowly to the fading song, with his chest against hers, their hearts beating to the same rhythm and his hand firmly gripping her waist, he wondered if it was correct to feel that way.
To feel right.
He tried to avoid the thought, but it was on the back of his mind constantly reminding him about how perfectly she fit in his arms and how good it felt to hold her like that, until he gave up and let his mind wander to all the what if's of his relationship with his best friend throughout the years.
As Harry mused, he reckoned there was more between the two than reached the eyes.
Cause you are beautiful inside, so lovely
And I can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are
And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you
Harry would never be able to put down in words how much he appreciated that Hermione was there when he first visited his parents' graveyard. He was sure he would've completely broken down and wouldn't have the strength to pull back together and leave. He realized he could never do it without Hermione; he could never do anything without her.
When she took hold of his hand and squeezed it before conjuring a wreath of roses so that he could leave something to his parents, he felt in his bones that she was the right person to be with him in that sublime moment; he knew she was one of the greatest people he would ever meet. When he turned around and looked at her, eyes glistening with tears and lips red from the cold…
He knew she was one of the most beautiful too.
Is this a natural feeling or is it just me bleeding
All my thoughts and dreams in hope that you will be with me or
Is this a moment to remember or just a cold day in December, I wonder
If maybe, maybe I could be all you ever dreamed
"Maybe we should just stay here, Harry… grow old."
Harry wished he could do just as she said, but the burden of defeating the evilest wizard ever seen still weighted on his shoulders. He felt an urge to go sit next to her and wrap an arm around her small frame, but something, or rather someone, stopped him. The image of his male best friend caused a tugging pain in his heart, not because he missed him – which he did –, but because he was jealous. Jealous that Ron actually had a chance to be with an incredible woman who loved him, and threw it away.
He gazed at her. Another tugging. Harry felt like he was bleeding, though he couldn't quite place his finger on why. He refused to believe he was falling for Hermione; she was unreachable in so many ways, for so many reasons.
Nevertheless, the mere thought that Hermione had just for an instant considered spending the rest of her life with him comforted his rushing mind and, he admitted, warmed his sore heart. But instead of sitting by her side, as he had previously wished, Harry just aimed a small smile toward her.
That would be a cold moment to remember.
Is this the end of the moment or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be for you and me
When he spotted his two best friends sitting on the steps of a staircase in ruins, his heart stung. Hermione sat so close to Ron, clutching his hands with hers as though he was the only thing she had left, and resting her head on his shoulder in a intimate way. He swallowed the lump in his throat as they turned their heads to the sound of his footsteps and got to their feet.
He walked past them and descended the stairs, refusing to look at them as he informed them he was going to the forest. But she knew better; she suspected something and he owed her an explanation after all she'd done for him. So he told them why he had to go, why he could hear the horcruxes: he was one of them himself.
The sob that escaped her lips as he finished speaking made his heart shatter into a thousand pieces. "I'll go with you." He couldn't bring himself to look at her as he went on, commanding them to kill Nagini so there would be only Voldemort.
A moment of silence.
Then she launched herself forward and embraced him in the tightest hug he ever received from anyone.
Harry clung to her just as fiercely, in a desperate attempt of holding her for the last time as long as possible. He hoped she could feel all the love he was putting in the embrace, the love he developed during those dark times together and never dared speaking of it aloud. It was his last chance to show it to her before it was over.
When she tightened the hug even more, he knew that she knew. And he suddenly knew that she felt the same. On the contrary of what he was expecting, Harry didn't hate himself, but rather felt self-pity. If only he had been brave enough to say it… A burning sensation reached his eyes, however, Harry blinked back the tears and allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment. He had to be strong for her, for Ron, so he untangled his arms from hers and prepared himself to march to death.
Right before he turned to leave, he took a good look at her one more time, memorizing every detail of her face so she could have something to concentrate on as he welcomed his end. Her hand which still rested on his forearm slid down his arm and the ghost of her touch was both his motivation to go forward and the main reason why he craved to stay. Harry made his way downstairs, refusing to look back, and a single tear trickled down his face.
"I love you," they whispered simultaneously.
I don't really like the last line, but as I wrote this at 2am, it was the best thing I could come up with... Don't judge the whole story for it! lol
xx,
cecelaschlobach