Chapter 1 – Not So Happy Campers
A worn-out dock resting on the sandy (and dirty) shores of an island and the bright blue waters. There are colorful trees and far out forests in the distant. The shot seems to be serene and peaceful, until one certain host of a reality TV show pops out of nowhere. Head up, the man grins his white, flashy teeth.
"Yo." He had well-groomed black hair and at age 25 he was, in a word, obnoxiously aware of his good looks. "We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario! I'm your host, Chris McLean- dropping season 1 of the hottest new reality show on Television right NOW!"
McLean starts to break it down, walking on said dock. "Here's the deal. 26 campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here in this crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, then face the judgement of their fellow campers."
Several buildings are shown sitting comfortably on the island, the cabins being lanky and typical.
"Every three days, one team will either win a reward, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame. Take a ride on the Loser Boat and leave Total Drama Camp for good." Chris is then seen in front of a campfire setting, with many tree stumps in a neat row in front of it, a trash bin (or soap box), and a tall sign propped up for show.
"Their fate will be decided here at the dramatic Campfire ceremonies, where each week all but one camper will not receive a marshmallow and recieve the boot. In the end, only one will be left victorious and rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune which- let's face it- they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle-"
"Black flies."
"Grizzly bears."
"Disgusting camp food."
"And, each other. Every single moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here RIGHT NOW on Total. Drama. Camp!"
"Welcome back to Total Drama Camp! Alright, it's time to meet our campers. We told them all they'd be staying at this five star resort sooo… if they seem a little T.O.'d, that's probably why." Done introducing, Chris walks up to greet the fancy looking boat who just dropped off the first contestant on the dock. Zooming away, it revealed…
"Beth." Chris said. "What's up?"
"It's SO incredulous to meet you!" The rather short and modest-looking girl scrambled up to give Chris a big hug. She wore an outfit (which she made herself) and wore glasses, braces, a stuck up side ponytail, a couple of standing out moles, thick eyebrows, and probably more. She retracted her hug.
"Wow. You're much shorter in real life." She pointed out.
"Uh.. thanks." Chris backed off. The boat, dropping off yet another, sped off to retrieve more.
"Yo, Chris McLean! How's it going?" DJ, a great big black guy wearing a great smile, walks forward as Beth heads down the dock. They high five one time, DJ towering way over Chris. He looks around for a big, putting down his two duffle bags.
"Hey, you sure you got the right place here? Where's the hot tub?" Chris just smiled more.
"Yo dawg, this is it! Camp Wawanakwa!" He stretched his arms in all of the island's glory.
D.J., a bit bummed out, heads down to where Beth is. He mutters, "Hmph. Looked a lot different on the application form…"
Next up, is Gwen! An incredibly pale goth girl who looked unimpressed as humanly possible. She bears two bags and a dissatisfied expression. She takes a look around.
"Hey Gwen." Chris keeps his unfaltering grin.
"You mean we're staying here?"
"No. YOU'RE staying here. My crib is an airstream with AC that-a-way." He jutted a thumb out in the opposite direction.
"I did NOT sign up for this." The teen with short, partial turquoise dyed hair scowled. She had matching lipstick, and normal clothing despite the torn shirt.
"Actually. You did." Chris promptly held up a thick stack of contracts. Gwen took the stack and ripped it apart, dumping it in the ocean with a smirk.
"The great thing about lawyers is *a beat* they make lots of copies." Cockily, he held up another identical batch of contracts with a counter smirk. Gwen picked up her bags.
"I am not staying here."
"Cool. I hope you can swim though. Cause your ride just left." The boat honked off to the distance.
"Jerk!" Gwen scoffed.
Next stepping onto the boat, with a rather slim looking leg and an expensive boot, was Lindsay. Everyone's adorable dumb blonde. She wore fashionable clothing, her long hair swept back with an aqua bandana. Bright blue eyes blinked twice as she pulled her pink luggage.
"Not too shabby." Chris turned to the camera.
"Hi~." She waved. "Okay, you look so familiar." She pointed to McClean.
"I'm Chris McLean." He grinned. Lindsay did not. His disappeared too. "The host of the show?" She squinted.
Her face lit up. "Oh, that's where I know you from!"
"Uh.. yeah." As Lindsay walked off, another pair of pretty feet stepped onto the dock.
"Heather." Chris glanced at her sharp designer's sunglasses. She took them off, glaring at the competition. Very short shorts, and even shorter tank tops clothed the long, dark haired girl. She grumped past Chris without sparing so much as a glance. Chris however, kept his amused face.
Beth ran up to Heather, excited. "Hi!" She beamed. "Looks like we're your new friends for the next eight weeks!" Heather cringed back from Beth's projectile spit and she scowled. Before she could say anything, they were interrupted by some booming stereo rock music. With one foot on the stereo was bad boy punk, Duncan. He wore piercing, a green mohawk, spiked collar, skull shirt, piercing teal eyes, and (as the previous) a grimace.
"Duncan! Dude." Chris greeted. Duncan held up a fist, attitude overflowing.
"I don't like. Surprises."
"Yeah, your parole officer warned me about that man. He also told me to give him a holler anytime to have you returned to juvie." He dragged out the last word. Getting his point across, Duncan just gave an offensive sniff and drolled.
"Okay then." He grinned. He walked by a still-annoyed Heather. "Meet ya by the campfire gorgeous."
"Drop dead you skeeze." She rolled her eyes. She walked in a sulk and retorted. "I'm calling my parents, you can not make me stay here." Chris just wordlessly pulled up the contract, smiling.
The boat honked its arrival, our next contestant being Tyler, who was waterskiing behind it! His legs were dangerously far apart, but stayed up… at least until he lifted one hand to wave. His mistake. He tumbles on the water and rickashays off the dock edge, flying straight into the growing pile of bags. A spinning bag spun into the water and drenched the nearby Heather. Everybody recoiled and gave a noise of sympathy. Heather though…
"Ugh!" She gasped. "My shoes!" Chris called out,
"Wicked wipeout man!"
A triumphant fist pumped out of the pile and gave a thumbs up. A few girls roll their eyes. Heather waddled up with squishy steps, back to the crowd, and Chris was unable to keep in his snickers. His snickering was abruptly interrupted by breathing coming behind him. The owner: Harold! A skinny, awkward looking guy with green glasses and orange hair. He held one bag and a mini keyboard piano under one arm.
"Welcome to camp Harold." Harold stands, mouth slightly open and analyzing the situation. There was a long breathful and awkward pause, with everyone exchanging looks and wrinkling their faces. Harold kept on producing mouth breathing noises. Beth whispered to the other campers.
"What's he looking at?" Lindsay and Heather flinch and shrug, weirded out by him. Harold finally turns to Chris.
"So you mean this show is at a crappy summer camp and not on some big stage or something?"
"You got it." Harold unexpectedly pumps his fist.
"YESSS! That is so much more favorable to my skills." Even his walk down the dock is painful, as if he's prepared for insults to be hurled at him.
"Moving on.. our ninth contestant: Trent!" Chris held out a hand to the one walking up. Trent had slightly shaggy black hair, and was nonchalant and effortlessly cool. He had chill green eyes and replied,
"Hey, good to meet you man. Saw you on that figure skating show, nice work." The two exchanged a brofist.
"Hey thanks man, I knew I rocked that show!"
Beth whispered. "I saw that. One of the guys dropped his partner on her head. Though they got immunity that week."
"Lucky." Harold said. "I hope I get dropped on my head."
"Me too!" Lindsay agreed happily.
"So.. this is it?" Trent took a look around. The crew stares at him. Heather is scowling while squeezing water out of her hair, and Harold promptly sticks a finger up his nose.
"Aaalrighty then." He walks up and settles next to Gwen, who was already staring at him with wide eyes. Trent returned a smile to which Gwen scornfully looks away. When his head turned though, she stole another peek, giving her first smile.
"Next we've got.. Cameron!" A small boy of African descent leaned in and took a deep breath.
"Fresh air!" He had round, thick glasses and a rather light voice. "A real lake! Birds!" His smile disappeared when a flock of seagulls flapped right by him. He staggered and fell with a yelp, onto the dock. His baggage toppled onto him afterwards.
"Oof!"
Chris laughed.
"Oohohoho- priceless! Keep it up kid, agony equals ratings." He got up and angled his glasses.
"Augh… is this what pain tastes like?" He wheezed. Chris chuckled.
"Whatever the flavor, you'll get a whole lot more of it, hehe." He winked to the camera and chuckled sinisterly. Cameron gulped and made his way down the dock.
Another boat arrived, but this time with two passengers.
Chris gestured simply. "Emma. Kitty. Sisters." The two Asians looked around, one with straight black hair with a slight curve to the ends, and the other (who was taller) with two long ponytails tied up in bright red bows.
Kitty hopped off and took three instant selfies with her older sister with a squeal and dumped her light rolling bag. Emma held two large bags, and put them down just to cross her arms.
"I believe there was a mistake here." Emma looked to the host.
"Nope. No mistake. Nada." McLean corrected, with a smile of course.
Emma huffed. "You can't falsely advertise. Based on this newfound evidence, I'll be going ba-" Kitty skipped to her, long ponytails bouncing.
"Oh, come on! This is great! I've always wanted to go to a summer camp!" She giggled.
"No, we came here to win." Emma stated.
Chris held up some more packets. "Well, lawyer wannabe, you of all people should know that lawyers make-"
"Lots and lots of copies." Emma sighed in defeat.
"Fine." She groaned. Kitty gave a "Yay!" and hurried off to greet the others.
Sitting in a yoga position on the railing of the oncoming boat, was Dawn. A petite girl with wavy blond hair, and light skin. Walking quietly, she observed.
"Your aura is a rather bruised purple and black McLean. But it suits you." She said in a high voice. Her blue-grey eyes held an unmoving stare.
Chris scooched away a little. "Oookay then. *whispers* Weirdo. No complaints whatsoever?"
"No. The forest will be an excellent place to meditate."
"Hm." Chris appeared bored. Shaking it off, he looked to the next contestant. "Our next camper is.. Noah!"
A preppy looking guy with a resting "not amused" face. He had slightly long brown hair with matching eyes, and spoke with a monotonous voice.
"You got my memo about my life-threatening allergies?"
"Sure someone did!" Chris claimed without the least bit of care.
"Good. Is this where we're staying?" Noah ignored.
"No." Duncan cracked his knuckles. "It's your mother's house. And we're throwing a party." He gave a menacing grin. Noah, unintimidated, replied,
"Cute. Nice piercings, original, do them yourself?"
Duncan grabbed the smart-mouth by the lip and pulled out a needle out of nowhere. "Yeah, you want one?"
"Ugh, uh no thanks. Can I have my lip back please?" He spoke, though slightly slurred by his lower lip being pulled at.
Duncan released with a smile.
"Thanks." Noah said without changing his tone. Emma leaned in to Kitty.
"Geez. How much could you just not care?"
A loud voice could be heard clearly from the next coming boat.
"What's up ya'll? Leshawna's in the house!" A busty black female was shouting and waving. She had a thick ponytail, large hoop earrings, a dot on her cheek, and she was completely slaying. In the group, Harold's mouth dropped open in a gasp (if it already wasn't hanging by default) in total shock as Leshawna walks confidently up the dock, "Yo baby, hey how you doin'? How's it goin'?" and high-fiving Chris as she walked by carrying her bling-covered suitcase.
"Feel free to quit and save yo'selves the trouble cause I came to win." She smiled charmingly.
She approached the group with a friendly smile. "Oh what's up ma brother?" She said to D.J. "Gimme some sugar baby!" D.J. nods and smiles at her, high-fiving her too. Harold peered in behind her.
"I've never seen a girl like you in real life before." He said absentmindedly.
"Excuse me?" She turned to him, but with her continuous grin.
"You're real big. And loud." Her grin changed within a flip of the hat.
"WHAT did you say to me? Oh NO you didn't. You have not seen anything yet, I'll show you big baby." She walked up ready to fight, and Harold struck a karate pose. DJ and Trent moved in to hold her back as she struggled against them.
"Oh yeah? You want some of this? Well come ON then."
"Alright campers." Chris intervened. "Settle down." The others who pulled back relaxed. Leshawna straightened her shirt and looked at Harold, who just gave her a sheepish smile.
In a cloud of hairspray, emerged Anne Maria. She had thick purple mascara, thick lipstick, white hoop earrings, an extremely fake orange tan, and voluminous poofy hair. She wore a springy pink tank top and tight jeans that did nothing to hide her curvy shape. She talked in a New York accent, and sprayed her hair in a ridiculous amount of hair spray.
"Ah yeah, three more coats oughta do it."
"Anne Maria! Wel- *cough cough* Welcome to *cough cough* your- *cough* Ok. Tan in a can, can you just STOP?" He waved a hand in front of his now plugged nose.
"Sorry, but all of this *gestures to her hair* takes time and money." She walked up to the rest, covered in fumes.
Everybody began to cough, some backing away.
"Ugh, yeah. And LUNGS." Emma waved away the pollution.
The next boat carries Ezekiel, a beanie wearing, shaggy brown hair having, pale guy. Normal looking, really.
"Ezekiel. What's up man?" Chris holds up a hand. Ezekiel looks up and points instead. In a accented and a bit awkward voice, he answers, "I think I see a bird."
Trent stifles a laugh. Chris, for a change, sympathetically lays a hand on his shoulder and says,
"Okay dude. I know you don't get out much. Been homeschooled your whole life, raised by freaky prairie people. Just don't say much and try not to get kicked off too early. Okay?"
Ezekiel nodded to everything. "Yessir."
"That's just... wow." Gwen said.
The boat quickly came, and went. Christ grinned again. On came a short, skinny but big headed guy wearing dorky clothing, split apart brown hair, blue eyes, and uneven teeth. Though a bit of a nerd, he waltzed up like a lady's man, or at least he tried to.
"Cody. The Code-ster. The Code-meister!" They high-fived.
"Dude, psyched to be here man. See the ladies have already arrived. Alright." He smiles, giving his best "come-on" look, and struts by the girls. He turns to Leshawna and takes a breath to say something, but she put a finger to his mouth.
"Save it short stuff." She said returning to her hands-on-hip pose. Cody smiles and takes it back.
Now in a different mood from the before sleazy atmosphere, comes a scarier one. One foot stomped heavily on the dock, belonging to the muscular Eva. She wore a straight ponytail, a stern unibrow, workout clothes and large mole near her lips.
"Eva." Chris grinned as Eva walked past him. "Nice. Glad you could make it." Cody held out a hand to high-five, which Eva ignored and proceeded to drop her purple duffel bag onto his foot.
"Ow!" Cody held up his foot. "What's in there? Dumbbells?"
"Yes." Eva held her glare. Duncan looked up to D.J. and whispered loudly.
"She's all yours man." D.J. didn't look too ecstatic.
"Our next camper: Mike!" Chris continued. Off the ship and to the dock was a tall, skinny, but still well-built guy. He had a dark brown and spiked up hair, a light brown complexion, and crooked front teeth. He looked around before asking,
"Um… this is..?" He dropped his duffel bags, confused.
"Yep. Welcome to Wawanakwa dude." Chris pointed an open hand to the smelly cabins and dirty beach, There was a seagull with some plastic wrap around its neck.
"That's just… great!" He gave an uneasy smile. He walked up to the group, a bit nervous. "Hey! I'm Mike, glad to-"
"WOOHOO!" Mike, and everyone else turned back to the source. Interrupting, was a very enthusiastic Owen who just arrived on the dock. He pumped his fist to the air.
"O-wen! Welcome!" Chris shouted with more vigor. Owen picked him up in a back-cracking hug and squeezed.
"Awesome to be here man. YEAH! Man, this is just so..." Owen paused in thought. Gwen offered sarcastically.
"Awesome?"
"Yes! Awesome! WOOO! Are you gonna be on my team?" Gwen rolled her eyes while twirling a cuckoo finger next to her head.
"Oh, I sure hope so."
"WoOoOoOoOo!" Chris picked at his ear.
You about finished?"
"Sorry dude, I'm just so psyched!"
"Cool." Chris replied. "And here, comes Courtney." A polite looking, tan brunette waved on the nearing bus. She had neat hair, and a formal outwear. Chris offered her a hand and she walked onto the dock.
"Thank you." She grinned curtly. "Hi!" She said to the campers. "You must be the other contestants. It's really nice to meet you all."
Owen grasped her hand and shook it vigorously. "How's it going? I'm Owen!"
"Nice to meet you, oow…wow." Courtney turned behind and trailed off, forgetting about the painful handshake. Everyone looked in the direction of the oncoming ship. On it, was a fit, tan, and gorgeous model with charming blue eyes. All of the guys and girls (the most excited being Owen) were in awe. His moderately messy hair blows in the wind, and his face is turned to the sun like some Greek God.
The boat pulls up and Chris turned to the campers.
"This, is Justin. Welcome to Total Drama Camp." He gave a fistbump.
"Thanks Chris, this is great."
"Just so you know, we picked you based entirely on your looks."
"I can deal with that." Justin shrugged, still smiling.
Owen ran up to him. "I like your pants."
"Thanks man."
"Cause they look like they're all worn out. *laughs* did you buy 'em like that?"
"Uh, no. Just had them for a while." Justin replied while walking down the group, the majority of the girls stricken.
"Oh.. cool!" Owen gave a thumbs up. He turned. "Stupid." He slapped himself on the forehead.
The boat gave another honk, dropping off a bitter looking ginger. Scott had slick back hair, blue eyes, with some freckles here and there. He wore a loose white sleeveless shirt and buckle showing pants. He also wore a dirty look.
Chris nodded. "Scott. How you doing dude?" He held up a hand. Scott blew off the hand and sniffed his armpit first, then looked around instead. Chris quickly retracted his hand.
"Hmm, smelly waters… life threatening structures… old creaky cabins… not baad." Scott leered with a pinched voice.
"Yep, feel free to get used to it." McLean smirked.
"Hello!" A cheerful red-haired girl on the edge of the boat waved pleasantly.
"And that's Zoey." Chris said. Her hair tied into two short sprouts, she wore cyan earrings and a large pink and yellow flower on the side of her head. Wearing retro clothing, she had large brown eyes and came up to shake hands with Chris.
"Nice to meet you!" She held a red bag-pack and duffle bag. She looked around as she stood next to Mike. Excited, she nudged Mike on the elbow.
"Hey! Isn't this cool? I've never been to an island before!" Mike smiles, stricken.
"Yeah.. It's beautiful." He agreed, but probably to something else. They hold contact for some time before the boat honked again, bringing in its last camper.
"Hey everyone! Izzy!" Chris looked to the pretty girl with fiery red hair and slightly crazed eyes coming on the boat. "Hi Chris! Hiiii! Hiiii! Whoa!" She trips out of the boat, but doesn't make it, and cracks the dock with her chin as she fell into the water.
"Ooh! That was bad! Hahaha!" Tyler grinned.
"Guys. She could be seriously hurt?" Courtney ran over and helped Izzy up to the dock. Izzy dropped soaking wet, and shook around like a dog, spraying some on Courtney.
"That felt… so- ugh… good!" Izzy instantly got up. "Except for hitting my chin. This this summer camp?! That is so cool! Do you have paper mache here? Are we having lunch soon?"
Owen got up and pointed, "THAT, is a good call!"
"First things first, we need a group photo for the promos." Chris said. "Everyone on the end of the dock!" The 26 teens did just that and posed as Chris hopped onto the highest point of the boat with a camera.
"Okay! One. Two. Three."Click. "Oops! Okay, forgot the lens cap." Chris pointed to the camera. He pressed a button and looked again.
"Okay, hold that pose. One. Two- oh. No wait. Cards full. Hang on!"
"Come on man, my face is starting to freeze." Leshawna rolled her eyes.
"Got it. Okay, everyone say, 'Wawanakwa!'" Chris said.
"Wawanakwa- aaAAH!" They all screamed as the dock finally gave way and broke down in half. Later shown pictures have the campers all not so happily gasping for air.
"Okay guys. Dry off and meet at the campfire pit in ten!" Chris announced.
Most of the people knew how to swim. A few though…
"Help!" Cameron voice gargled under the water. "I-I can't swim! I don't knowhow." Mike and Zoey swam to the spot of bubbles.
"Hang on!" Mike shouted.
"I'm coming!"
"I'm coming!"
They both halted near the drowning boy, water wafting.
"Oh, ahaha, no you first please." Mike offered gentlemanly.
"Oh no, please. Go ahead! I insist." Zoey replied.
"Well I mean if you insist, heh." He grinned. Cameron's hand splashed up and grabbed Mike by the head, pulling him down. Zoey gasped.
"Hold on!" She dove under and pulled back up Mike, who was holding Cameron. Mike spit out a stream of water and gasped.
"Thanks! I owe you one." He panted, smiling. Cameron just groaned, coughing out a fish.
"This. Is your home, for the next eight weeks." Chris spoke to the large group.
"The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. Ya dig?" Harold looked over to Duncan, who responded with a curled up fist.
"The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Camp the longest without getting voted off will win 100,000 dollars!" Duncan stepped forward.
"Excuse me. What would the sleeping arrangements be? Because I'd like to request a bunk under her." He pointed to Heather.
"They're no co-ed are they?" Heather asked.
"No." Chris shook his head. "Girls get one side of each cabin and dudes get the other.
"Excuse me, Kyle? Can have a cabin with the lakeside view since I'm the prettiest?" Lindsay rose her hand.
"Ok- you are. But that's not really how it works here. And, it's Chris." He replied.
"Ooh, ooh!" Kitty jumped up. "Can we first just take a quick picture over here?" She held up her camera. Emma pulled her down. "Ow! Heyyy." Kitty sulked.
Emma sighed. "Careful. Chris might confiscate your phone." Kitty gasped.
"No!"
"This cannot be happening." Gwen glumly huffed. Owen grabbed Gwen and Tyler, who was sitting next to them) in a head hug.
"Aw, come on guys! It'll be fun! It's like a big sleepover."
Tyler whispered to Gwen. "At least you don't have to sleep next to him." They both looked to the side, where Duncan was gripping a poor moose around the neck and giving it a tough noogie. Tyler and Gwen exchanged looks.
Dawn stood up and cried. "Stop! Leave the poor moose alone!"
"Heh, why don't you come over and make me?" Duncan challenged.
Gwen sighed. "Guess you've got a point." Chris resumed without so much as blinking.
"Here's the deal!" Chris held up a sheet of paper. "We're gonna split you into two teams, if I call your name out you'll stand over there: Beth. Lindsay. Heather. Owen. Noah. Leshawna. Emma. Kitty. Cameron. Ezekiel. Mike. Zoey. Anne Maria."
Chris held up a long roll and threw it to Owen. "From this moment on, you are officially known as… the Screaming Gophers!"
"Yeahaha!" Owen held the green sheet which rolled down to a picture of the said screaming gopher. "I'm a gopher! Woo!"
"The rest of you over here!" Chris continued. "Courtney. Eva. Tyler. Duncan. *Duncan stopped in his noogying* Izzy. D.J., Cody, Scott, Harold, Dawn, Justin, Gwen, Trent. Move, move, move, move!"
Dawn looked to her new campers, specifically Duncan, and sighed. Courtney came up to her.
"Dawn, is it? Come on! It'll be okay. I don't like him either." She smiled. Dawn looked to her and gasped.
"Oh! Your aura is exceptionally purple, with a hint of brown and yellow."
"Thank… you? Let's just go with the others." Courtney grabbed and led her to the group. Chris tossed Harold a red roll of fabric this time.
"You guys will officially be known as… The Killer Bass!" The roll revealed the logo of a very angry fish patched on messily with stitches.
"That's awesome." Harold stared down at it. "It's like… amazing."
"Alright campers." Chris is seen again, with a more anticipating expression. "You and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition."
*static*
A dirty outhouse was presented from the inside, some flies buzzing about.
*static*
Chris: You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts on tape with video dairies anytime you want. Let the audience at home know what you're really thinking. He winked.
Or, just get something off your chest.
*static*
Gwen: Um, okay. She was crossing her arms, still unamused. So far this sucks.
*static*
Cameron: I am what's known as a "bubble boy". He put on some hand lotion. Growing up my mom was really overprotective. So I've never gone swimming before... up until six hours ago I've never done anything before. Except read and sigh a lot. *sigh* But that doesn't mean I'm not a force to be reckoned with! He puffs up a little. A butterfly finds its way into the outhouse fluttering it's orange wings. Cameron excites. No way! Danaus plexippus? A monarch butterfly? The butterfly lands lightly on Cameron's head. He bends back, cracking from the sudden "weight" Aaugh! Ooh- it's so heavy! He slumps down on the seats, defeated.
*static*
Lindsay: I don't get it. She was standing up, hands on hip with only her back showing. Where's the camera guy?
*static*
Emma: Ugh! Chris and his "five-star resort". She sighs, frustrated. Well, no matter. I'm only here to help pay for law school, and that is what I plan on doing.
*static*
Mike: He swipes the roll of flimsy toilet paper down once. Okay! My first.. confessional! So uh, Zoey! Nice girl. He looks down. Super nice- I wonder if she'll like a guy like me? See, I have this um… work? He nervously points out. I just hope my condition doesn't ruin everything for me again. He deflates and sighs. Oh...
*static*
Zoey: Wow! I can't believe I'm in an actual reality TV show! Hosted by Chris! It's so exciting! Everyone seems so nice. I hope they all like me. She pondered. I could use a few new friends. Or.. friends period. she added on second thought. Oh! What if they hate me? Maybe this flower was too big? Am I trying too hard? You like me right?
*static*
Owen: Hey everyone. He spoke with a serious manner. Check this out, I have something very important to say. He solemnly stays still, then leans over a bit.*farts* Owen comes up to the camera with a grin. Ahahaha!
*static*
"Alright! Any questions?" Chris stood in front. "Cool. Let's find your cabins." In a flash, Chris walked up to two cabins placed on cinderblocks.
"Gophers, you're in the East Cabin. Bass, you're in the West!" The screen door opened wide to reveal a modest and rustic display of bunks, a sundial rug, furnace stove and a stool. The windows were fully furnished with tattered curtains that matched the tacky drawers.
"Bunk beds?" Heather was the first in. "Isn't this a little.. summer camp?"
Gwen pushed aside with her suitcase. "That's the idea genius."
"Ugh, shut up weird goth girl." Heather snapped back.
Cody walked up to the unsuspecting Gwen. "You're so smart. I can feel that." He complimented. Gwen turned around.
"Shouldn't you be on the boy's side?" He gave a toothy grin.
Leshawna pulled up on the porch with her fabulous luggage when Cody was thrown out of the cabin with lightning speed. He scraped and landed near Trent's feet, mouth full of dry grass. Trent walked on by.
"Where are the outlets?" Lindsay asked. "I have to plug in my straightening iron."
"There are some in the communal bathrooms, just across the way."
"Communion bathrooms? But I'm not Catholic."
"Not communion. Communal." Gwen sat on one of the steps leading to the porch.
"He means we shower together." She looked off. "Idiot."
Lindsay's eyes widened and her lip trembled. She cried in an outburst, "AAWW, no- comeon!" Some of the boys came out to see what the ruckus was from their cabin door.
Owen commented to Mike and Noah who was also peeking out with him. "I'm glad we're in our own cabin with justguys.Know what I mean?" He chuckled. The two guys didn't respond.
Owen stared before he explained, "I mean, no! I didn't mean it like that!" The other two walked back in. "Ilovechicks. Hahaha, I just don't wanna sleep near them." He recoiled. "Ugh-oh, uh! I mean-!" He ran back inside.
"Excuse me Chris?" Kitty called out. Chris turned to her. "Is there a.. chaperon of any kind in this facility?"
"You're all sixteen years old. As old as a counselor in training at a regular summer camp. So, other than myself, you'll be unsupervised." He grinned. "You've got a half an hour to unpack and meet me back at the main lodge. Starting *pulls out his watch* now!"
"Sweet!" Kitty said before taking another picture of the cabin. But everyone stopped when he heard-
"WWAAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHHHHHH!" A long, hard scream coming from inside one of the girl's cabin. A bunch crowded the door.
"Oh man, that white girl can scream." Leshawna peered in. Lindsay was on the stool, terrified.
"W-what is it? Kill it!" There was a large cockroach walking around the rug in a loop. "Kill it!" A few from the other team walked in. D.J. being one of them. He gasped and leaped with an even higher shriek, landing in one of the bunks.
The bunk bent backwards in the middle, and Gwen sighed. "That. Was my bed."
More screams elicited as some tried to stomp on it. The agile roach scampered through one person's feet to the next. Heather and Beth opted to climb the higher bunks. Anne Maria tried to spray it, but all that did was turn some yells into coughs. She quit when she realized the roach wasn't dying. And the screams didn't stop until Duncan stood in the bug's way with a raised axe in his hands. The roach could almost be heard saying help me! Dawn shrieked, but not because of the roach, and pushed Duncan out of the way and he landed on the bunk with an oof!. Unfortunately for the roach, the axe swung in the air three times before landing directly on the roach, slicing it in half.
"Well that's one way to kill a cockroach." Gwen smirked. The upper half was still flinching it legs, the insides visible now. Dawn got down on her knees.
"Noooo! I'm so sorry!" She cried. "I couldn't save you!" She carried the remains gingerly before walking out. "I'm going to give him a proper funeral." She sniffed. Heather rolled her eyes, but Zoey followed Dawn out.
"Oh, don't cry Dawn! It was only a cockroach!" She called out before leaping down the steps.
Tyler walked up to Lindsay who was still cowering behind D.J. "If you ever seen one of those again, just let me know 'kay?" He sniffed. "Cause, you know, I can do that too." He smiled. Lindsay gratefully returned the smile and gazed at Tyler who did the same. She giggled.
"Psh." Duncan blew out on nostril. "They always go for the jocks." He grabbed the axe again, now on his shoulder. Back outside, Dawn could be seen mourning the dead. Zoey walked up to comfort her.
"Hey, Dawn? Are.. you okay?" She cautiously walked up.
Dawn sniffed. "No! I could have led it out to safety but I- I couldn't! I'm sorry I couldn't save you from that big meanie.." She buried the roach delicately, and placed one flower on the mound. Zoey cocked her head.
"Oh, it's not your fault. Duncan's axe just flipped, it was out of control." Dawn nodded.
"I suppose..." Dawn got up.
"Let's focus on some positive stuff, huh?" Zoey offered.
"Hm?"
"Like, for one, everybody else isn't as bloodthirsty as Duncan here. Right?" Dawn cringed.
"If only you could see their auras."
"Uh.. right!" Zoey tried again. "But who knows? Maybe we'll even make some new friends?"
Dawn perked up. "Yes! That would be good considering you are an only child and all."
Zoey drew back a bit. "Wah? Who told you that?" Dawn leaned in.
"Your soul reads like an open book! You had such a lonely childhood." She her hand in hers. "It must have been difficult." Zoey took the hand back.
*static*
Zoey: I don't like to speak badly about anyone… but Dawn totally creeps me out. Reading auras, talking to animals. I'm not saying she's a witch, but she might be a wizard.
*static*
In a flash, all the campers were found in a straight line. There were two long tables and a bunch of stools. Antlers displayed over a white bricked fireplace, and one certain militarist Chef Hatchet shouting until you could see the veins on his neck.
"LISTEN UP! I serve it three times a day, and you'll eat it three times a day. Grab your tray, get yourfood, and sit your butts down NOW!" The utensils and pots rumbled from his booming voice.
"Excuse me." Beth spoke up. "But will we be getting all the major food groups?" Chef just dumped a hairy glob of red meat onto the last plate, and the campers at front wasted no time in grabbing them.
Harold joined in. "Yeah, cause I get hypoglycemic real bad if I don't get enough sugar." Chef zoomed in with his broad neck and spit,
"You'll get a whole lot of SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Owen and Noah were up next. Owen whispered, "Have a cow..." To which Noah chuckled lowly.
"WHAT WAS THAT?" They both flinched. Chef waved his finger. "Come closer fat-boy, I didn'thearyou."
"Um!" Owen grabbed a tray. "I didn't really say anything important."
"I'm sure you DIDN'T." Noah took his tray, but Chef stopped him.
"YOU. Thin boy. Gimme your plate." He held up a scoopful of mystery meat. He dumped it onto his plate, which latched right back up onto the spoon. Chef rewinded and dumped it again. Noah, with a confused look, walked off.
Eva and Leshawna were next to each other, next. Leshawna smiled. "Yo, wassup girl?" Eva turned, emotionless. Surprised, Leshawna looked away and glared as Eva walked off with her tray.
"Oh it's gonna be like that is it?"
"NEXT!"
"Excuse me, my nutritionist says that I shouldn't eat any white sugar, white flour or like, dairy." Chef stood motionless, save for him grabbing a nearby wandering fly with a clenched fist. Gwen replied instead.
"I don't think that's gonna be a problem." As she looked disdainfully down on her still flinching meat.
"Cool!" Lindsay walked away happily.
"Okay." Gwen turned to Chef. "I hate to be predictable and complain on the first day, but I think mine just moved."
Chef raised a large hammer and pounded once onto the plate of meat, splattering it all over him and Gwen.
"Right!" Gwen looked up. "Okay then." She complained no further and walked off to her team's table. There Cody tried to sit next to her and stuck in a spoonful of oatmeal gruel. Freezing though, a tinge went up through Cody's hair and he spat it out immediately.
"*cough* Ugh! So that's why gruel rhymes with cruel." He shuddered. The pit out contents could be found dripping on Scott's face. He glared.
"Oh- sorry man." Cody chuckled. A plate was swiftly thrown on Cody's head, his eyes rolling everywhere.
*static*
Scott: Hehehe. He was scraping a stick of wood with a flint. Wimp. I grew up on a dirt farm, I can always chomp on a clod if I get the munchies. Exemplifying, he held up a lump of hardened dirt and rocks and took a biteful. He chewed for a while before grinning. The teeth shattered into little pieces, leaving Scott staring down on it.
*static*
Anne Maria ate the gruel while spraying her hair with excessive hairspray once more. The clouds drifted to Cameron who was trying to eat his. He coughed violently.
Anne Maria noticed. "Sorry short stuff, on the upside now your lungs are waterproof!" Cameron choked.
"W-wow, thanks."
Owen was found digging in, unlike the others, and shoveled in so much gruel so fast his own spoon slipped and lodged itself in his throat. The shape of the spoon was barely visible as Owen struggled to get it down his throat. Kitty eeped.
"Whoa! Careful, lemme give a hand!" She retracted her arm and gave a good punch to his back. The spoon shot out of Owen's mouth and flew it's way to the other side, where Mike and Zoey were conversing.
"I like waffles too!" Mike replied to whatever question, before getting hit on the head suddenly.
"Ow!" He rubbed his head. Then, he jolted up and gasped in air suddenly. As if his whole persona changed, his back arched down reflexively and his left eyes squinted. His mouth curled back as a grandpa's and he spoke in a hoarse voice.
"Darn kids!" He turned angrily. "Back in my day we ate with our hands like decent folk!" Zoey laughed.
"Hahaha! You're hilarious!" She responded. "Unless you're not joking. But, you are, right?" She then gave a quieter laugh.
*static*
Mike: Okay, okay, I admit it- I.. I have Multiple Personality Disorder. I-I try to control them! But they never listen to me. He slumps down. I'm okay with most people knowing, but I can't let Zoey know! She'll think I'm a freak!
*static*
Zoey: Mike is so sweet. You know- I really don't get his old man comedy routine, but, I bet it's really funny if you're from like France or something?
*static*
As Mike gasped back to normal, Chris walked into the building. "Welcome to the main lodge."
Kitty pushed away her plate. "Chris? Can we order a pizza?" She asked. Chef launches a large hatchet, it spins barely missing Kitty before slamming into the wall next to Chris, staying there.
"W-whoa! It's cool! B-brown slop is cool! Right guys?" Kitty smiled nervously. Emma shook her head. Scared murmurs of agreement increased.
"Your first challenge begins in one hour." Not saying any more, he turned, leaving them all wondering.
"What will he make us do?" Kitty asked her sister. Emma rolled her eyes.
"Oh, probably something life-threatening. That's what I've been gathering so far."
"It's our first challenge." D.J. shrugged. "How hard can it be?"
On the very tip of the dorsal like cliff on the island, the campers peered down the tremendous height needed to go down before plunging into the lake waters below.
"Oh ****." D.J. gulped.
Chris walked in to explain the first challenge to the teens all in their swimsuits now.
"Okay, today's challenge is three-fold. Your first task is to jump down this 1,000 foot high cliffintothe lake.
"Piece of cake." Tyler flirted to Lindsay, who was waving back at him.
"If you look down you will see two target areas. The one wider represents the part of the lake that we have stocked with,
"Psychotic, *chuckle* man-eating sharks!"
"Told you." Emma groaned.
"Inside that area is a safe zone.That'syour target area.Which we're pretty sure is shark free."
"Excuuse me?" Leshawna turned to Chris.
"For each member of your team that jumps and actually.. survives, there will be a crate of supplies waiting below. Inside each crate are supplies that you'll need for the second part of the challenge." He paused.
"Building, ahot-tub!The team with the best one gets to have awicked, hot-tub party tonight!" Chris pointed to the camera.
"The losers… will be sending someone home. Let's see… Killer Bass. You're up first."
Scott looked down, aghast. "Sharks- are you kidding me?" He shuddered. "So.. who wants to go first?" Silence ensues.
Owen spoke up first, "Hey, don't sweat it guys. I heard that these shows always make the interns do the stunt first to make sure it's survivable!"
*a flashback not too long ago*
"We need to test the stunts first!" Chris stood behind Chef, who was wearing goggles, swim trunks, an orange tube, and his hat yet still. "You know that."
"Do I look like an intern?"
"No. But the ones we had are all in the hospital. Come on just jump it you big chicken." Chris bent over with chicken wings and started to bokbokbokbok like one.
"I don't get paid enough for this man." Chef slapped his goggles on, and jumped. His screams echoed against the cliff walls, before landing… right outside the safe zone. He swam up, gasping.
"Hey! I made it! I made it man." He said relieved. Then, he froze. "Something just brushed by my foot! Hey Chris man!" He yelled, voice cracking. "Something ain't right down here!" Suddenly, he was pulled under for a few seconds. He flailed out of the lake and shrieked before the shark could grab a bite.
Chris checked something off of a clipboard. "Well, that seems safe enough."
*end of flashback*
"So." Eva said loudly. "Who's up?"
Duncan smirked at Courtney. "Ladies first."
"Ooh, ooh! Me! I wanna, I'm a lady!" Izzy ran up to the edge. "Or, at least I think I am. Maybe a squirrel. WOOHOO!" Izzy hopped of the edge and let out a crazed but happy scream. Miraculously, she landed right in the safe zone.
"Yeah! Hahaha, let's do it again!" The rest looked after.
"She did it! Yeah, yeah! I'm next." Tyler said, ready to jump. He ran back and jumped off with a start. "COWABUNGA! Hoohoo!" He dove head high and chest first.
Clank! "OOHHH!" Izzy laughed, on the boat that picked her up. Tyler landed right on the buoy.
"Aah…" He slid off in pain, but still into the safe zone. One by one, the contestants jumped off the cliff, all having something to say, except for Duncan.
Flailing his arms and screaming like a girl: Cody. "YAAHH!"
"Look out below!" Eva called down while falling.
Duncan just silently fell with his arms folded, like the total bad boy he is.
Justin looked at himself in the mirror as he fell in. But he dove silently into the shark zone.
"Paddle! Paddle!" The previous people currently in the boat called out. Two shark fins swam up behind Justin, ready to pounce. They roared with jaws wide open, but abruptly closed them and stopped. Justin, with droplets of water rolling down his perfectly sculpted body, flashed a charming grin at the sharks who were instantly seeing in hearts. Justin came over to the shore in victory, on the heads of the two sharks who dropped him off there.
Back up, D.J. was up next- but very hesitant to jump. "Uh-uh, no way man. I'm not jumping."
"Scared of heights?" Chris asked.
"Yeah, ever since I was a kid."
"That's okay big guy." Chris grinned with false compassion. "Unfortunately, that also makes you achicken, so." Chris walked up to him and placed a hat made of rubber that looked like a chicken onto D.J.'s head. "-you'll have to wear this for the rest of the day."
"Aw man, for real?"
"Bok, bok, bok!" Chris taunted. "That means the chicken path down is that-a-way." D.J. sulked and walked over to the escalator, which was apparently embedded to the side of the cliff.
"Next!"
Harold came up. "Yes! WAAOOO!" He jumped down, legs and arms both high up. Hitting splat down the water in a splits, he gave a more pain-infested howl. "AAOOOOWWWW!" The team cringed, birds flew, even the sharks "ooh"ed in sympathy.
Trent looked down, gulping. Chris snickered.
"Ooh, hate to see that happen." Before Trent could jump, Gwen patted him on the shoulder.
"Want me to go first? You know, so you can kind of wipe that memory away before jumping?" She crossed her arms.
"Um, no thanks but.. thanks for asking." Trent grinned before jumping down. "YeeEEeeEEAAH!" He splashed into the safe zone. "Woo!" He stuck a fist out. Gwen lightly sighed in relief, before following too.
"YAAUUGGHH!" Gwen shrieked.
"Oooommm…" Dawn peacefully fell in a different yoga position.
Scott still hasn't jumped. He stood, trembling before the heights. Then, a lightbulb hit him. "I'm not doing it." Scott grinned, arms folded.
"Uh, you sure dude? You're gonna have to wear… the chicken hat. Bok, bok, bok!" Scott nodded.
"Yeah, yeah Chris McChin, I know." Chris gasped offensively.
*static*
Scott: It's all part of my strategy. Let my team lose so the Gophers develop a false sense of security, before I pick 'em off! Genius. 'Sides, what's the big deal on wearing chickens as a hat? I did that all the time back at the farm. *sighs* That was fun.
*static*
"Does the cleft on my chin really look that big?"
"Yep." Scott smirked. "And it looks like a butt." Chris, with contempt, scooched Scott over to the edge.
"Oh really? Maybe you should go get your eyes washed up, Scheming Scott." Chris pushed him.
Scott waved his arms about. "Whoa-whoa-WHOANOWAITYAAAAA!" Scott plunged into the shark zone. Underwater with his mouth puffed up, he starts to swim his way up. Before he could though, he meets face to face with the biggest, baddest, brutal-est shark there. He shrieks bubbles out and gets bitten by the seemingly smiling shark at least once before finally making his way out of there.
"YAAHH! SHAAARRRK!" He gasps.
*static*
Scott: Oww.. He pulled at a visible point sticking out of his butt. He plucked it off. What the-? A shark tooth? Grrrr.. if I could, I would eliminate CHRIS.
*static*
The lighter-greyed shark chased Scott until he made it onto the shore. "Ugh… what the…" He got up with a groan, and saw Dawn on a rock. She was still meditating, but with a starfish on the tips of her finger this time.
"How are you- you're not even wet!" It's true, she was completely dry.
"Hm? Oh, I used a shortcut." She grinned. The same shark then came out of nowhere and roared a toothy (save for one) roar. It noticed this, and then glared at Scott who took his tooth. Scott yelped and scampered off.
"Oh, don't worry there. You still have a beautiful complexion." Dawn soothed. The shark seemed pacified for a moment, before roaring again and making Dawn run off with a squeal. Chris chuckled at the scene.
"Hehe, I like that one. Next!"
Last was Courtney. "Excuse me Chris. I have a medical condition."
"What condition?"
"A condition that prevents me from jumping off cliffs."
"You can chicken out if you want but, it might end up costing your team the win." Chris turned to her. "And then they'll hate you."
"It's a calculated risk. I've seen the other team, and I don't think they'll jump." She turned to them, confident.
"Alright." Chris shrugged, putting on the Chicken Hat on Courtney's head. "Here's your chicken hat! So! Let's tally up the results." He looked down at his clipboard. "Ok. That's 11 jumpers and 2 chickens." He turned to the second team.
"Screaming Gophers, if you can beat that, we'll throw in a pull-cart to put your crates on!"
"Nice!" Mike saw the cart waiting for them down on the beach. "Okay guys, who's up first?" Again, silence.
"I'm sorry." Heather crossed her arms. "There's no way I'm doing this."
"Why not?" Beth asked.
"Hello, national T.V.? I'll get my hair wet."
Emma was perturbed. "You're kidding, right?"
"If she's not doing it I'm not doing it." Lindsay declared, giving a glance to Heather who smiled.
"Oh, you're doing it." Leshawna glared.
"Says who?" Heather bit.
"Says me. I'm not losing this challenge cause you got your hair did, you spoiled little daddy's girl."
"Back off ghetto glamoured too-tight-pants-wearing rap-star-wannabe!" The others did begin to back off, entranced by the smackdown.
"Mall-shopping, pony-tail-wearin', Teen-Girl-readin', pink in a high-school-prom-queen." She angled her neck side to side, ready for more.
Heather paused. "Well, at least I'm popular." The majority gasped, Emma and Kitty backed away, and Noah stayed smiling at the catfight the entire time. Anne Maria was just finishing her second coat of hairspray.
"You're jumpin'."
"Make me!" They both stared at each other, until Leshawna picked Heather right up with two hands and went over to the cliff, Heather too shocked to speak. She threw Heather down "AAHH!" and she splashed into the safe zone.
Swimming up, Heather sneezed and turned up. "Ugh! Leshawna you are so dead."
"Hey, I threw you into the safe zone didn't I?" Leshawna called down. Then to herself, "Now I just hope I can hit it too." She hopped off with her eyes closed.
"AAAAUUHH!" A splash was heard, and she came up right next to Heather in the safe zone, giving her still confident smile.
"I thought this was going to be a talent contest!" Lindsay looked down and then to Chris.
"Ahahaha, yeeah! Haha, no." Chris replied.
And once more, a line of campers began the long way down.
Lindsay yelled, followed by Anne Maria.
"My hair-spray!" She cried as it slipped out of her fingers.
"Yeaah!" Kitty flew down. "Quick pic!" She snapped a photo.
"Kitty!" Emma yelled as she dived closely behind.
"Whoa-WHoOA!" Noah dove in afterwards, but still managing to sound somewhat bored.
Ezekiel took a jump and fell with a "Yee-Haaaww!". He didn't foresee the lump of rock though, and hit it, making him spin off around into the safe zone. The rest of the team on the shore cheered. Ezekiel gave a thumbs up.
Cameron was next in line. He shuddered. "Oohh boy." Mike patted him on the back.
"Hey Cam, don't sweat it. It's all be over soon as you reach the safe zone. Besides! Don't you wanna experience your first jump down a cliff ever?" Mike asked.
Cameron nodded. "Y-yeah! You're right. Okay, here goes!" Cameron jumps off with a little bit more confidence.
"W-WOOAA!"Splash. Cameron washed up, holding onto the floating buoy. "H-hey! I'm alive!"
"Sweet! Nice work Cam!" Mike grinned with Zoey next to him.
*static*
Zoey: Mike is so sweet! The way he's always encouraging Cameron is totally cool. The way he's always going into character, is.. totally weird. But hey, nobody's perfect. Right?
*static*
Mike: Zoey. *sighs* It's just been a day and she's all I think about! At least when I'm the one in control. He scratched the back of his head and nervously laughs. Ehehehe! Heh.. *sigh*
*static*
Mike prepared to jump next, looking down. "Gee… *gulp* okay. I can do this. I can- *GASP*!" Mike took a large breath in and suddenly posed gracefully.
"Wrong! Only von person can do zis, Svetlana! Ze Olympic queen of gymnastics! Yaa!" Mike now seemed to have longer lashes, and his lips flushed a red. Speaking in a thick Russian accent, Svetlana cheered.
"Svetlana?" Zoey asked curiously. Before they could inquire anymore, Svetlana dove in a straight perfect form. After splashing into the safe zone, she - somehow - leapt out of the waters and hopped on every shark's head out of water. After performing a triple somersault, Svetlana landed on the sandy shores and posed, ready for the gold medal.
"Ya! Svetlana for ze win!" Svetlana pointed on leg up, trilling the "r"s. Then a large gasp.
"Svetlana? Mike! How did you do that?" Cameron asked, walking up to him.
Mike reverted back to his old self, dizzy. "Huh? Uh, do what?" He laughed nervously as he found the other teammates just staring at his own unremembered performance. He quickly walked away from full view of the crowd, embarrassed. Zoey also looked confused, but dove down nevertheless. She fell, close, but not in the safe zone. Gasping for air, she looked at the two large sharks surrounding her.
"Uh-oh." One shark blocked her as she tried to swim away, and the other held a bottle of ketchup. "Please let me go!" Zoey gulped as she saw the shark lick his chops. Then, with more ferocity, she yelled, "I said let me GO!" And she punched the shark in the gills. It winced and Zoey did the same to the one behind her. They both fell over into the water.
"Oh! Sorry, but I did tell you to stop." She pointed out.
Back up the cliff, it was Beth's turn. "… I-I can't do it." She decided. "I'm too scared." Chris held up the chicken hat.
"I'm sorry!" She called down. Leshawna and Anne Maria commenced the "bok, bok, bok!"s whilst laughing.
"That is like so lame." Lindsay said. "Right?" She turned to Heather for approval.
"Fully lame."
Beth walked down with the hat on head and took the loser way down.
"Okay campers." Chris spoke into a red loudspeaker so everyone can hear. "There's only one person left! You guys need this jump for the win." He turned to Owen who only wore his shorts. His torso having a bad tan line. "No pressure dude."
Owen looked a bit relieved.
"Okay there's pressure!" Owen gulped. The team below began to cheer and encourage Owen to jump. Slipping on a pair of arm floats he took in a deep breath before posing.
*static*
Owen: Oh, I was pretty darn nervous. See the thing is, I'm not that strong a swimmer.
*static*
Kitty: I'm looking at this guy thinking, there's no way he's gonna make it! She whipped out her phone. So I took a vid! She smiled.
*static*
Emma: I actually thought, if he jumps this… he's going to die.
*static*
"Take a good run at it buddy." Chris smirked. "You can do this."
Owen took a good length back. "I'm going to die now." He turned. "I'm going to freakin' die now." The team stood silently as they looked up.
"Come on big guy.." Leshawna said.
Closing his eyes, he burst them open and Owen started to sprint.
"YYAARRGHH!" He took the last step and jumped.
"OOHH CRAP!" He shouted as falling down. "WAAAHAHAHAA!" Like a plane about to crash, he shouted one final yell before splashing in.
"WAAHH!" SPLASH. A huge, nuclear equivalent wave swept across everybody on the beach, soaking them all. A shark was found clinging onto a pine tree in fear.
"Yes!" Owen cried. "Yeah, oh YEAH! Who's the man!" He was floating in the safe zone, ecstatic. His team rose in a collective "yes!" and "go Owen!"
"The winners: the Screaming Gophers!" Chris yelled into the microphone.
"That was awesome Owen!" Mike nodded. He looked at Owen who seemed to be worried, or searching in the water. "What's wrong?"
"I uh, think I lost my bathing suit." Panning out, the team shook with a different collective of shouts.
"Forty-nine bottles of pop on the wall, forty-nine bottles of pop! If one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty-eight bottles of pop on the wall!" The Screaming Gophers sang while tugging the crateful of carts back to the cabins. Way, way, way behind were the Killer Bass, grunting to push and kick the boxes back.
"Ow!" Courtney drew back. "I think I just got a splinter!" Eva walked over and lifted the entire crate with her hands.
"Shut up, and pick up your crate." She fumed, dropping it front of her. "Chicken." She eyed her, scrutinizing.
"Hey!" Courtney said. "I'm the only one with CIT camping experience here. You need me!" She pointed. Eva and D.J. exchanged glances.
"Ow!" Courtney slapped the fly that landed near her eyes. "I think something just bit me!"
Going back to the Screaming Gophers…
"-should happen to fall, twenty-eight bottles of pop on the wall~!" Beth called, pointing out.
"Hey look! There's the campground!"
"That was pretty easy!" Owen said.
"I'm pleasantly surprised." Cameron panted, only sweating a little.
"Remember! You guys can only use your teeth to open the crates." Chris reminded, walking by the teens trying to open the boxes by pulling it by their teeth. "I came up with that one." Chris proudly chided.
Cameron tried to open one, but fumbled back instead. "Ow! My maxillary central incisors!" He rubbed his mouth. "Hey Mike? Can you help me out here?"
"Hm? Sure Cam!" Mike nodded, walking over. He bent over, grabbing a piece sticking out of the crate with his teeth.
"Uurrgh- come on!" He grunted. "Rrr-Yah!" He grabbed his cheek and fell back. Zoey ran over to check on him.
"Oh my gosh! Mike, are you okay?" Zoey kneeled over. Mike gasped loudly.
"D'oh- gosh darnit! My chompers are darn near falling out!" He complained, his one eye shut tight again.
"Uh- here Mike! Let me see.." Zoey tried to examine his teeth, but "Mike" shooed it off.
"Bah! It's Chester you old sonny, and I'm not done here yet!" He got up. "Why back in my day, we didn't have everything given to us neatly in a packed crate! We had to go and build our OWN hot tub!" He waved his fist. Zoey and Cameron looked at each other, a bit worried.
Chris rode back to check on the Killer Bass.
"You guys are way behind the other team. Like, way behind. What's the problem?" Chris looked around, counting only 12 campers. "Wha- and where's Dawn?"
"She's talking to fish." Courtney answered. Chris turned and yelped.
"Gah!" Courtney's right eye was now pink and swollen nearly shut. "Oh my boxers that's bad."
Scott took a break and walked over to where Dawn was sitting. "Dawn? What are you doing? We need help over here!" He scowled as Dawn meditated halfway in the water.
"Hm? Oh, hello Scott."
"Can you stop doing your freaky yoga nonsense forone second?"Dawn walked up to him and put a hand on his arm.
"You weren't held enough as a child." She said.
Scott flinched.
*static*
Scott: He was seen curled into a knee hugging position, shivering. Okay, freaky fortune-teller girl's gotta go.
*static*
Back in front of the cabins, all the crates have finally been opened. Owen pulled out some planks.
"Hey, check it out. I got wood!" He held them up.
Cameron dug in one of the crate. "Tools, and what appears to be pool liner?" He pulled out the items.
At another box, Heather and Lindsay walked up towards Leshawna, who was also pilfering through the contents.
"I just wanted to say, I didn't mean that about you being a ghetto rap-star wannabe." Heather apologized. "-And, I love your earrings. They're so pretty!"
"Straight-up?" Leshawna perked up. "Well, I'm sorry about pushing you over the cliff and all."
"No worries. I need a push." Heather replied. "Truce?" She held out a hand. Leshawna held out a fist.
"Yeah, yeah you got it." They both bumped their fists and resumed on a lighter tone.
"Did you mean all that stuff you said to Lefawnda back there?" Lindsay asked.
"Leshawna." Heather rolled her eyes. "Ugh, no. she's going down." She held up a fist. "And P.S., those are the ugliest earrings I have seen in my life."
"Oh." Lindsay said. Heather was applying lipstick. "So if you hate her, why were you being nice to her?"
"You ever seen one of these shows before? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." Heather quoted.
"Ooohhh.. I'm your friend, right?" Lindsay asked.
"Oh yeah. For now." Heather squinted, leaving Lindsay still a bit confused.
"Finally." Harold pushed the crate with a sigh, the other following by.
"Hey!" Mike waved, now back to being just Mike.
"What's up man?" Trent said tiredly. Leshawna came up out of a box, and looked mortified as Courtney walked over. She touched her eye.
"Ooh! What happened to your eye girl?"
"N-nothing! Just an allergy." She replied.
"I… think it's getting worse." Tyler commented. Courtney leaned in and shushed him.
"Shut up! We don't want them to know that!" She whispered.
Now with all of the Killer Bass's boxes in a pile, a few such as Izzy got to opening the crates with their teeth. Still far behind, Cody got on one of the crates.
"Come on guys! We can still do it if we hurry!" He urged. Harold lay drooling in his sleep. Courtney sighed.
"Okay look guys. We have a hot tub to complete, and we need a project manager. Since I've actually been a CIT before, I'm electing myself. Any objections?" Courtney spoke to the demotivated crowd.
Scott protested, "Uh yeah. Why should thechickenget to be leader?"
"Because this chicken has got C. I. T. Experience! More than you'll be able to comprehend dirt-boy!" Courtney growled, and Scott cowered back. "Now go open those crates!" She commanded.
"Whoa!" Scott blinked, then grinned. "Well, when you put it like that." Courtney turned and put her hands on hip.
"What. What?" She stared back. "Stop smiling like that!" She screeched.
*static*
Scott: Maybe it has something to do with pappy being an ex-military man or ma being a waitress, but.. I kinda like taking orders. He smirks.
*static*
Duncan rolled his eyes, "Where do we begin cyclops?" Startling everyone, Courtney jumped in and pointed at Duncan.
"Open the crates." She ordered threateningly. Then she pointed to Cody.
"Cody, get Dawn back here. We need all the help we can get."
Between the Gophers and Bass, the Gopher's hot tub was starting to take form a lot more smoothly than the Bass. Their team also cooperated more efficiently than the fighting fishes.
At long last, after rubbing in some pieces of duct tape here and there, they were done. The contestants stood behind their tub, awaiting for the judging. Chris walked up to the first tub, the Gophers. After examining it thoroughly, he threw his hands up.
"This is an awesome hot tub!"
"Alright!"
"Yes!"
"NICE!" They cheered and Owen came up the warm waters stark naked. Chris then went to analyze the Bass's hot tub. The group gasped in anticipation. He tapped it twice suspiciously, and a stream of water shot into his face. The rickety hot tub creaked, and inevitably collapsed into pieces. The seagull on it glided off, and into Dawn's arms.
"Come now dear one, and let's get this hideous trash choking you off." The seagull chirred.
"Well." Chris stood from the puddle of cold water. "I think we have a winner here." He unnecessarily paused. "The Screaming Gophers!"
They celebrated as the other team looked down.
"Gophers, you're save from elimination and you get to rock this awesome hot tub for the rest of the summer!" He pointed to the camera. "Bonus!" The Gophers only hurrah'd more.
"Killer Bass." Chris looked to the dejected team. "What can I say? It sucks to be you right now. I'll see your sorry butts at the bonfire tonight."
"We won!" Lindsay lifted her hands. "We get to all stay here for another three days!" Heather and Beth both hugged Lindsay. Owen, now out of the tub, yelled,
"WooOOooOOooOO! Hahaha, yes!" They all stop hugging and look to him. He was still naked. He sung, "We get to stay-ay. We get to stay-ay! We are so awe-some! We won the contest!" He went and hugged a repulsed Heather and smiling Lindsay.
Back in the main lodge, the two teams were eating their "meals".
"Great." Gwen rolled her eyes. "Now what."
"We have to figure out who we're going to vote off." Courtney spoke. Duncan, sitting next to her, pointed to her and D.J.,
"Well, I think it should beprincess, or the brickhouse here."
"What?" Courtney cried. "Why?"
"Because, unless I'm mistaken, you two are the only ones here wearing chicken hats. And, if we were ever to lift a truck, I like our odds with the big guy." D.J. smiled.
"You guys need me! I'm only one-"
"We know." Gwen groaned. "-who used to be a real CIT. Get over yourself."
"Well, who'd you pick?" Cody asked to Courtney. Courtney looked around.
"What about.. him!" She pointed to Tyler.
"Noo!" Lindsay stood up, everyone stopped eating and looked at her.
"… I-I mean.. no salt! There's no salt on the table." She saved. "Bummer." Sort of.
"Hhey, at least he jumped off the cliff chicken-wings." Duncan said.
"Shut up!" Courtney snapped. Trent came between them.
"Okay, everyone just relax. This is getting way too heated." He calmed.
"I've had enough prison food for one day." Duncan got up. "I'm gonna go have a nap."
"Y-you can't do that!" Courtney said. "We haven't decided who's going yet!"
"I can see that all your auras are rather troubled." Dawn said.
"Can you please STOP with the aura reading?" Scott entered the dining room right on her saying. He groaned. "Hey, why don't we give her the boot?"
"What? But why, just look at your auras!" She zipped over to everyone.
"You always strive too much to compensate." She told Courtney.
"You throw yourself into working out with no purpose, just to forget." She told Eva, who dropped a dumbbell.
"You've been harassed so much, always feeling rejected." She told Harold.
"And you-" Scott covered her mouth.
"See what I'm saying?" He grumbled.
"Yeah, that's foreboding and all, but I'm still going to vote for Courtney." Gwen got up with her tray, leaving. Trent shrugged and left too.
Courtney yelled, "Hey! No, wait! Ugh…" She slapped her face. Once clear, Scott leaned in and whispered,
"Hey, I've a deal."
"What do you want." Courtney griped.
"Whoa- hey. I just wanted to ah, offer you some help. If I can convince everyone to vote for Dawn instead of you, then you owe me one." He smirked. Courtney, taken back, crossed her arms.
"Whatever, just do it. I doubt you can do much though."
"Oh, we'll see." Scott ran off to start his sabotage, stopping only when he reached Dawn's bunk. Next to her bed was a large garbage bag full of the things she's collected so far. He smiled maliciously as he opened the bag.
*static*
Scott: Ahh. Scheming is the best. Scott was whittling a stick of wood with a shark tooth. Especially when getting rid of Dawn the junk-collector. But it'll need to be quick, so I gots to be smart. He points to his head with his shark tooth. Smar- ow! He poked himself in the eye with the tooth.
*static*
Courtney: Hm. Smelly, pit-stainy, but I definitely need some help if I don't want to get voted off first. So, hmm…
*static*
Tyler was putting on his track suit back in the cabin. Duncan was, as he mentioned before, taking a nap.
"Come on dude! The bonfire's gonna start soon." Duncan stretched.
"*yawn* Fine. Let me ju-" Duncan stuck his hand under his pillow and stopped. "What the- hey! Where's my blade?"
"AUURGH!" The cabin shook from a yell in the next door cabin. Tyler and Duncan made their way to the girl's door. Out of the door ripped a chair, dresser, and a pot. They ducked.
"Whoa, what's your problem?" Duncan got back up. It was Eva. She was fuming.
"My dumbbells. They're ALL GONE."
"Come on, you can just search for 'em after the bonfire." Tyler said. Duncan pointed.
"Um. Tyler?"
"Yeah?"
"Your pants are missing." He gasped, looking down.
"MY PANTS ARE MISSING!" The cabin shook with more and more yells.
"My mirror!" Justin's handsome smile fell.
"My guitar!" Trent cried.
"Okay." Gwen got up. "WHO took my diary."
"You have a diary?" Cody asked.
"Help!" Harold yelled. "My instruments! Noooo!" He shook his hands into the air. Izzy hung upside down from the roof.
"Instruments?"
"Yes! My keyboard, my kazoo, why? Oh, why!"
"Hey! Did you know that Owen can whistle the national anthem with his nose?" Izzy grinned.
"Uh-"
"Isn't that cool?!"
"What is the commotion all about?" Dawn came from a recent meditation. "You all look so agitated."
"Everyone's stuff is missing, that's what!" Courtney explained.
"Oh, that is very unfortunate. Would you like me to help find them?" Dawn offered. Scott walked into the group forming.
"Hah! I don't think that'll be necessary." Scott smirked, holding Dawn's bag.
"Hey! What are you doing with my bag!" Dawn pointed.
"Your bag, you say? Well then, what are you doing with everyone's stuff!" He dumped out the contents, scattering everyone's stuff. They all gasped, including Dawn.
"Dawn, you're a… thief?" Trent asked surprised.
"What? No! Friends, you must listen to me. I was framed!" Harold cradled his belongings.
"Psh, yeah right. You said it yourself, the bag is yours!"
"Yes but-"
"Hey team." Scott grinned. "This is just a rat problem. And we can deal with this rat tonight. See you at elimination." They all walked off, pissed. Dawn sighed worriedly.
*static*
Scott: Yeah, I stole that stuff. Threw my shark tooth in there too. I was planning on getting Dawn eventually, so it's a win-win.
*static*
Dawn: I swear by the great Earth mother, I will expose Scott for the traitor he is! She stood up, fists waving in the air. Karmaaa!
*static*
It was night, the fire cackled brightly and Chris stood in front with a plate of marshmallows.
"Killer Bass, at camp, marshmallows represent a tasty treat that you enjoy roasting by the fire. At this camp, marshmallows represent life." Chris spoke seriously.
Scott stretched lazily, shooting a wink at Courtney's direction. She rolled her eyes, but nodded either way. Duncan scoffed at this in the background.
"You've all cast your votes and made your decision. There are only 12 marshmallows on this place. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow tonight, must immediately return to the dock of shame to catch the Boat of Losers. That means, you're out of the contest. And you can't come back."
The team widened their eyes.
"E-ver." He held up one puffy marshmallow. "The first marshmallow goes to…"
"… Cody." Cody grinned and strutted to get his marshmallow poked through his stick. He shot finger guns to Gwen, who was crossing her arms.
"… Tyler."
"Woo-hoo! Yeah! Place at the table!" He ran up to do the same.
"D.J. Trent." They smiled and walked up, D.J. still with a chicken hat on.
"Gwen." She lit up a bit and took the marshmallow. She smiled at Trent and he high-fived her.
"Harold."
"Yesss."
"Izzy."
"Oh yeah! Hahaha." She jumped to Chris and opened her mouth. Chris flicked it in.
"Duncan." He shrugged and walked up.
"Eva." She grunted.
"Scott." Scott got up and cockily stuck his tongue out at Dawn, who was clutching her bag. She threw a seashell at his head.
"Yowch! Hey!" He went and got the marshmallow.
"Campers. This, is the final marshmallow of the evening." Chris stated. Courtney and Dawn both looked up, holding their sticks tightly. One of them won't be using it.
Chris held the plate, waiting good and long before announcing the survivor. Courtney gulped, her hands up to her face. Dawn clutched her bag tighter, glaring only at Scott.
…
Chris opened his mouth the two girls both dropped their things. Chris raised his hand and pointed to Courtney- no Dawn, Courtney! He waggled the finger between them back and forth and tapped his chin thoughtfully. The suspense fully killing them, Courtney pulled at her chicken hat.
"… Courtney." She sighed and ran up to take her marshmallow. Dawn gasped.
"What? Wait!" Courtney got her marshmallow on a stick, and Dawn deflated. "Oh…" Courtney walked up next to Scott and whispered a "Thanks."
"Dock of shame is that-a-way Dawn." Chris gestured. Dawn got up.
"I knew the universe wouldn't want me to win such a perverse game."
"Hm. Perverse, I like that."
"But what the universe does want me to do is sell these discarded TDC keepsakes on Craigslist, so I can start a sanctuary for all the poor critters of this island! I envisioned they would become highly sought after." She held the bag close.
"That's adorable. Pointless, but adorable." Chris sighed.
"And to my fellow victims of reality Television, I urge you to rise up against the soulless, sociopathic scoundrel hiding among you!" She pointed, but it was unknown whom to since Scott was mixed amongst the crowd.
"Chef!" Chris called. Chef came out to stop Dawn from her long speech.
"The traitor in your midst is-" Chef grabbed the bag and swallowed Dawn with it. She gave a muffled cry from inside. He dumped her on the boat and she came out.
"Wait! I have to warn my teammates!" The sputtery boat honked. "The traitor is- *hooonk* It's- *hooooooonk*!" The ship disappeared into the fog, and Dawn's cries became inaudible.
Scott sighed.
"The rest of you." Chris continued. "Enjoy your marshmallows. You're safe… for tonight." He grinned.
*static*
Gwen: Yep. This camp pretty much still sucks. But now that I'm here, I guess I might as well try to win.
*static*
Zoey: Dawn got eliminated? That's.. unexpected. But uh, I'm not devastated or anything. She grinned. Then she gasped. Oh! Was that cruel? Should I cry for her?
*static*
Mike: Dawn is super nice and all… but I was kinda freaked out by her whole "aura reading". He smiles apprehensively. Uh, sorry Dawn.
*static*
Scott: Hah! Take that you er, spell casting.. fortune pixie.. oh whatever! I win, you lose, haha!
*static*
"To the screaming Gophers!" Cameron held up a juice box and toasted. Everyone in the hot tub cheered, "The Screaming Gophers! Woohoo!"
Leshawna was out of the tub doing a victory dance. "Go Gophers! Go Gophers! Go Gophers!" Owen and Noah joined in.
"Go Gophers! Go, go, go Gophers!" The chant could be clearly heard by the losing team walking back to their cabin. Courtney walked by last and turned to the camera.
"Are you recording this?" The camera zoomed in on her. "Good! They can enjoy their little party all they want. But I'm gonna win this competition! And no one, is gonna stop me." She pointed venomously at the camera which faded slowly into black.