Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Nothing. Zero, negative. Now stop degrading all that I stand for.

A note from LK: This is my first story, ever and everybody needs a beginning. So, here is mine. Not you're typical Hogwarts' story, but I'm not your typical fanfiction writer.

P.S.

Yes, this is Lily writing all of this. If I ever switch characters, you'll know.

September 1st

Ok, so 6th year is supposed to be the best year right? We're supposed to be getting the coolest friends, and drinking the hottest illegal drinks, and sneaking out to meet the greatest boys, it's supposed to be the time we go wild, correct? No repercussions yes?

Whatever.

As much as I'd like to say all of Hogwarts has grown up OH so much since 5th year, as much as I'd like to proudly say we've all become more mature and rational, we all know we're the same sleazy whores and manipulating wizards we were last year… and some certain raven haired hazel eyed excuses for men still can't get over their more-then-friendly feelings for yours truly.

That's life.
Gross.

Basically I can already tell that this year is going to be one hell of a… well, it's just going to be hell. Because he who shall remain nameless is still here. HE WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS, cunning and tactless, is still my fellow student. And he who shall remain nameless is also looking quite delicious…

Wait. What am I saying? I, Lily Evans, do not think he looks good. Better, yes, but not anywhere near acceptable. So what if his long, black hair falls so adorably into his serene hazel eyes? So what if he's grown a few inches over the summer? He's still the wanker he has been for the past 5 years. And it's not going to change.

But he hasn't asked you out yet, Lily.

Shut up! And excuse me for interrupting myself. Sometimes my brain won't stop thinking when it should. Back to he who shall remain nameless.

James.

NO! Stop it! I've been reading up on some scientific studies (mostly muggle junk) and have come across something that could prove to be useful. They (the muggles) think that if you refer to somebody that you'd wish to forget about as "he who shall remain nameless" or something of that sort, that you can erase their name permanently from your subconscious mind. No thoughts whatsoever about them. So we will refer to him

James. James. James. James. James.

SHUT UP! We'll be referring to him, (yes, you know who) as he who shall remain nameless. Something along those lines.

So, what compelled me to right this journal anyways? Writing hasn't ever really been my strong point, and why in the world would I want to recount my not so glamorous life? Pour over the excruciating details in an autobiography of myself?

Because Marilyn moved away. She left me to rot in Hogwarts forever. So now that I have absolutely (lets count) ZERO friends to associate with, I can associate with myself. Clever huh? Not so much, but it will do until I jump back into the social pool.

I'd recap on what happened on the Hogwarts Express, but truthfully, it was a whole lot of nothing. I'd like to tell you about how I've made tons and tons of new amazing friends, but I ended up sitting with Carmen, Hannah, and Mara. I definitely killed a few brain cells listening to them gab on and on about… boys. And more boys. Hannah occasionally cut in to talk about some magical weight loss programs, but Mara would stray back to the point (boys.) And then stray to one of their carriages. For a quickie. Or two. Or three.

Actually, I will recap. So you can pity with me.

"So, I was like, stop, because he was like totally trying to take advantage of me of something!" screeched Hannah, smiling devishly. So, no surprise here… Hannah hadn't grown out of her love for being the center of attention. And, gasp, she seemed to have actually lost some much needed weight over the summer. Her obsession with being the skinny stick figure she could only dream of was becoming a bit closer to reality. But that didn't stop her not-so-size 2 legs from aching to burst out of her size 4 jeans. Yuck.

Good thing Marilyn had been here to protect me from all of this for the past 8423957924781 years.

Hallelooyerr. Wait. NOT!

How about a little riddle…

Q: How do you make a hormone?

A: Dress a boy up in wizards' clothes, and shove him in Mara's way.

Har dee har har.

Oh my god, I'm losing it!

Losing everything except his name from my mind that is!

Har dee har har.
For the love of fizzing whizbees, shut me up! Goodnight.

The Third

Hi, I'm Lily Evans and I'm losing my mind.

The first day was here, and I wasn't. I was late. And cranky. And a little smelly since I had to run out of the 6th year dormitory without brushing my teeth. The price I pay for education… unfair, yes? Yes.

But when I walked through those double doors into the deliciously smelling great hall for breakfast, my eyes couldn't help but stray to he who shall…oh, forget it… James. It's hurting my hand to write all of that out. Ho hum pigs bum. Excuse me for interrupting myself once again, back to the point.

So my eyes strayed to him, and once I looked, I couldn't stop. It was hypnotizing. Amazing? Yes. Intriguing? Definitely. Was I blocking the entrance and exit of the room? Undeniably so.

"Eh ma gawd, Lily, could you be any more of a nuisance?" Hannah asked, looking at me with undeniable disgust. Then, quick as lighting, her chipmunk face turned in the direction I was looking at, and her head snapped back to me. "EH MA GAWD! Is the Lily Evans actually looking at JAMES?" She screeched in total Hannah fashion. That girl can't keep her mouth shut!

My emerald eyes glared at her own chocolate ones, but she looked me straight on, not blinking once.

Seething, I made my way to the Gryffindor table, but Hannah, thoughts of leaving forgotten, followed me (bitch.)

"I, like, asked you a question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She said, stating the obvious with way too much enthusiasm.

"Eh ma gawd, Hannah!" I yelled, matching her tone. "You look, like, so incredibly SKINNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! However do you do it?" I asked, taking a huge bite out of an oozing cinnamon roll (equipped with extra vanilla sauce on top, no less.)

(Ok, even I admit that was mean, but I had to get her to stop her blabbing somehow, and it got the job down. Hannah, licking her lips enviously, left me to my own demises.) She prided herself on knowing everything from the most widely known to most secretive gossip in school. But, she was better known for thinking her wide waist was a size 2 instead of something along the lines of 7.

And then, I heard it. A soft chuckle, a manly chuckle from my right. Slowly, I turned my head, my dark auburn curls bouncing behind me as I locked gazes with none other then James Potter. His hazel eyes with dancing with delight, and for a split second I thought he was going to go back to his old ways. I braced myself for his question. And I convinced myself I would finally accept his offer. But…

"Nice one, Lily," came the voice of Sirius Black, chocolate hair momentarily covering his deep blue piercing eyes. "Way to make Hannah get what she deserved!"

And then, with a merry wink at me, he turned around and snogged Carmen right on her full lips. Her blonde hair was shining even more then usual. It makes me sick how some people can look so disgustingly beautiful.

I boldly turned back around to face James, but he was busy in a deep snogging session with some girl from Ravenclaw. I got up to walk past them, intending to head back to my dormitory, when my eyes fleetingly gazed at the couple once more.

James. Potter. Was. Staring. Right. At. Me.

His tongue never stopped darting in and out of his girlfriend's awaiting mouth. His hands never stopped groping her breasts. And his eyes never strayed from mine. I would know, because I was staring at him all the way up until the doors shut behind me.

Fuck.

What kind of idiot stares at somebody like me while their tongues are shoved down somebody else's throat?

A James Potter kind of idiot is who.

Hi, my name is Lily Evans and I'm losing my mind.

The Fifth

Ok, so basically… my life is making a turn for the worsity worst. Times seven. Let's recap.

I've been falling behind in Transfiguration.

I've been falling behind in DADA.

I've basically been falling behind in life.

I've had to hang out with the DRAFIA.

Ok, the drafia is my own genius creation. It means, Drama Mafia, put together conveniently. I'm something of a whiz at that.

Right… I'm kidding myself. I read it in a muggle book. But oh well, nobody knows that. RIGHT?

Here is a regular conversation between the three nuisances.

Hannah: Eh ma gawd.

Mara: What? (Pause to flick wand aimlessly at the frog she is supposed to be turning into a newt. I watch with disgust as it squelches and bursts into flames. I put it out quietly.)

Carmen: So, like, Sirius and I were talking, and like, he wants to take me to like meet his parents over like, Christmas break. (Pause as the Drafia erupts into a series of giggles. Sirius wiggles his eyebrows at her suggestively.)

Hannah: But, eh ma gawd, that means you're going over to James' house! Are you guys going to get to bangalangin?

Mara: James is sexy. (Cue the cat claws from me, ladies.)

Carmen: Wait, like what? The Potters'?? What do you mean??

And then Sara launches into her gossip routine, once again proving that she knows more about everybody's business then they know themselves.

But, bonus for me. At the cost of my grade, I learned more about Sirius and James within an hour then I had known from 5 years of Hogwarts with them.

Sirius lived with James!

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW. Wow!!!!! So, if I could get close to Carmen and/or Sirius, I had an all access pass to Mr. Object of Lily's Current Obsession.

Just then, Mara's frog bursted into flame once again, and a nice juicy gut got lodged into my gaping mouth.

Joy.

"Ms. Evans!" Professor McGonagall (anorexic old hag) screeched. "What in heavens are you doing?! Detention after dinner today! You too, Mara!"

Hag bag, hag bag, hag bag, HAG BUGGITY BAG!

"She's just jealous that Hagrid denied her invitation to get a bottle of firewhiskey," Hannah whispered sympathetically.

Oh, as if I care.

Let's Recap.

I'm failing Transfiguration.

Ms. McGonagall is a fruit cake loser.

I need to brush my teeth.

Hannah proved to be useful today.

Yippee and Hallelooyerr. My life is turning out just spectacularly.

I'm sarcastic… you love it. No?

"SIRIUS, DETENTION! YOU DO NOT EVER PURPOSELY FLY YOUR FROG INTO ANYBODY'S MOUTH! Peter, go wash out your mouth, and Sirius, I'll see you after school along with Lily, and Mara."

Oh, now my life is really complete.

Not. Ho hum piggy's fat bum, today is turning out to be just marvelous if I don't say so myself.

Unfroggishly yours,
Lily smelly Evans.

A/N: It's a start, and I like it. Reviews would be nice. Lots of love and reptile clear mouths.