So I had originally written this out in the tags of a gifset I posted but it didn't fit all the way in it (yeah, I was really disappointed) so I saved everything I had written and basically wrote it out in a document basically in poem form, it just seemed fitting to keep it that way. I might go out of my way to write it out in a full story length, but for now I'm leaving it as is.
This includes my personal headcanon about Rick's decision to banish Carol. I don't care if you disagree with it, but don't bother telling me. It won't change my mind.
I own nothing.
The ride back to the prison after banishing her was one of the longest rides of his life
He stopped the car repeatedly and considered turning around to find her
But every time he did he imagined Tyreese killing her
And he just can't turn back around he cant put her in danger because he wants her close by
He keeps her watch in his pocket always
Every time he feels it against his leg his heart breaks a little bit
Because of the things he said and the way she looked at him
Every time he walked past her cell his heart breaks a little bit
And he has to stop himself from leaving to go after her
He keeps a straight face in front of Daryl trying to convince himself he did the right thing
He sees The Governor with Hershel and Michonne on their knees and he thinks about Carol; thinks about what if The Governor had found Carol
He tries to sleep in that bed with the watch on the bedside table but hes unable to sleep with thoughts of Carol plaguing his mind
The men invade the house and he makes sure to pocket the watch; fuck the book
He encounters them again and when he hears what they plan on doing to Michonne he thinks about what if they had found Carol
He gets trapped in a fucking train car and he can't stop thinking about Carol
Is she in one of these box cars? Is she dead somewhere? Where is Carol? Is she okay?
He gave up his gun but hid the damn watch deep in his pocket
Even when they're lined up about to die he thinks about Carol; looks for any damn sight of her
They get out and even while fighting for his life he thinks about Carol
She's on his mind in the woods and when he hears Daryl start running he turns to look and sees her
and his heart fucking stops
Shes alive shes okay but there's something in her eyes;
She's afraid to approach him and Rick wants to vomit with guilt
She accepts his hug and clings to him just as much as hes clinging to her and the feeling fades away
And if they weren't in front of everyone he would kiss her
He's never letting go of Carol Peletier again.