Love Conquers All
Jack was unable to meet Jessica's fretful gaze; instead averting his eyes to the winter scene outside, the flurry of snow descending to the ground, couples wrapped around one another in warm embraces, the Christmas lights of Times Square, glimmering in chorus. It was perfect. Jack could only grimace at the romantic landscape, now tainted by the harsh reality of infidelity. The tension was becoming unbearable for both parties; neither able to find the right words. Both scared of confronting the truth, fearing what it may unveil. Jessica clung to her dressing gown guiltily. Her mind searching for something appropriate to say. Her eyes glazed over, as she mulled over the consequences of her actions. She felt as though she was back at school, preparing for a rollicking off Mr. Edmonson for not meeting the deadline of an assignment. The childish uncertainty returned once again. She knew their future together lay completely in Jack's hands. Nothing she could say or do would change his final decision. This could be the end. She shuddered at this thought; it was agonizing to think that this was her fate. Why was she so stupid? How could she hurt him like that? A thousand questions only she would know the answer to, yet, could not think of one reply. She was unable to prolong her self-torture for much longer. Her burning desire to break the awkward atmosphere took over; she rose from her position on the bed. Inhaling and exhaling in an orderly fashion to keep her nerves at bay. She crept up behind him and placed her trembling hand on his stern shoulder. He placed his hand on hers, crossing his right arm over his body; the pearls of perspiration on his palms exposing his anxiety. Jessica couldn't help but seize him with all her might, as she knew this could be the last time she would get to embrace him. She wanted to cling on forever. She gently brushed her cheek against his overcoat, whilst inhaling his sweet scent. She was utterly lost in the moment. Jessica spoke the first words on this ill-fated day, somewhat timidly "Jack, say something....Please?" He span around suddenly, evoking a gasp from Jessica, her hands automatically lifted to her face in terror. She shrunk back to her earlier position on the edge of the bed. Jack was still unable to look Jessica in the eye; there was still a distance in his gaze. His retort stunned Jessica; she had never witnessed him so... so...so angry before. He always remained so reserved, so calm. "What? What do you want me to say Jess? You want me to talk? To set your mind at ease? Shouldn't it be you doing the good damn talking! Shouldn't you explain to me what the hell you were doing?" Jessica's bottom lip trembled. Tears welling in her eyes, she was unable to keep her composure and before long they were streaming down her face. Jack couldn't bear to be the cause of anyone's pain, let alone the woman whom he was so fond of. He moved swiftly, trying to regain a resilient and harsh exterior, to perch beside her on the bed. He used his index finger to catch a falling tear, placing his other hand below her chin, moving her face, so that their eyes met for the first time today. "Why Jess? I just... I just want to know why?"
"I wish I knew the answer Jack. I wish I could answer every single one of your queries... but ... I can't. I don't know myself" It was now her, who was unable to meet Jack's gazing eyes. Instead they were fixated on her hands, more specifically her thumb, idly tracing the lines on her palm. Anything, to divert her attention from Jack's prying eyes. "Jess? Will you stop being such a petulant child and look at me?" Jack half chuckled these words out, a sardonic smile twisting the contours of his lips. Jessica, glanced up, ironically feeling like a told off child. "Come on Jess, you've gotta give me something!" It was evident that once again Jack's anger was beginning to rise. Jessica viciously racked her brains for a reason. Jack's leg started to shake. His fists clenched. "I...I was scared. Okay? I was scared" she shouted out with a sense of urgency."Scared? Scared of what Jess?""Everything .... The way I feel for you. I ... didn't understand it. I've never felt this way before. This whole love thing, it's foreign to me, you know? Men... have always been ... just... men. Objects. Desires. Nothing more. But, you, you're different. I felt, stupid for feeling the way I feel. Everything was unrequited. You didn't show me the affection... that I... that I showed you. I tried to "cure" myself. Rid myself of these feelings. So, I didn't get hurt. I'm sorry Jack. I'm sorry for feeling the way I do. I tried to make what we had meaningless. But, it's never been and never will be. I love you Jack Kennedy. This probably isn't the best set-up to tell you that for the first time. But I do."
Jack rigidly rose from the bed and rubbed his head as if the information had induced an ache. "Well, I wasn't expecting that" Jack uttered with a guffaw. He was trembling. Jessica had never seen him display so many differing emotions before. "So?... Is that your retort Jack? Do you see what I mean about you never recipro..." Jack raised his hand to silence her. "Sshh.. I'm thinking" Jack's head steadily rocked from side to side as he compiled all of the information. Finally, after another bout of awkward silence, Jack spoke "I'm sorry, I've treated you so badly Jess. You don't deserve it. It's my entire fault..."
"No! Jack don't you dare blame yourself for my flaws."
"It is Jess. I need to open up to you. Tell you why I am the way I am. I always have been. It's been instilled from an early age. I need you to know I'm not a complete bastard... This is going to be hard though... I've never spoken to anyone about it before."
"Jack, you don't need to..."
"Jess it's my turn now, okay?" Jessica solemnly nodded in response "My mum... she urm... she died. When I was eleven. It was so sudden. It still haunts me to this day. I miss her like crazy." Jack lost his equanimity and broke down in Jessica's arms. "My dad... he never recovered. He turned to drink for solace. I just remember being petrified of him; he could turn, so easily. He used to come home at night and I would hide. I just...never had a loving figure in my life, you know? No one was there to guide me, show me they cared. I don't know how to display my emotions, or when would be right to show you how much I cared..... I love you too Jess. I do. Although, that's hard for me to say and I feel stupid. That is how I feel. I love you" Jack's brow burrowed at this realisation sunk in. "I'm sorry for the way you felt. I am. I shouldn't have been so cold... I'm not losing you. You're going to have to put up a fight and a half to get rid of me" Jessica shook her head in dismay.
"Are you... joking Jack? Do you realise what you are saying? I don't deserve any of this. I don't deserve you!" Jack jumped up, buzzing excitedly, pacing up and down.
"Ditto. That's why it's right. It's perfect. Me and you." He got down on one knee and grasped Jessica's left hand in his. A shrill screech escaped from Jessica's throat. "What are you doing? Get up!" Her mouth gaped open; she placed her free hand over it. She was in shock. "Jessica Stedman, will you do me the honor of being my wife? ... I mean this is far from the romantic proposal ... I don't even have a ring... it's pitiful. But, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life wit..." Jessica placed a single finger over his lips. "You are crazy" A beaming smile stretched across her face. She didn't need to think twice about her answer. She loved him. "Yes! A million times yes" Jack took Jessica in his arms and playfully spun her around. Finally, he placed his lips on hers and kissed her with a sense of eagerness and ferocious passion. Jessica breathed a sigh of relief, it was just her and Jack. Forever.