A/N-

I don't really have much to say here. This is more of an experiment than anything else to see if I can actually write humour.

Disclaimer: I'm only putting this here once, as I believe most people are aware that if I'm posting on this site, I clearly own nothing. So yes, I own nothing, and am doing this purely for the fun of it.

I hope you enjoy :)

"My father's brother, but no more like my father, than I to Hercules. What does this even mean?" Angrily Gary flung the book onto the table in front of him, much to the amusement of his friend who sat opposite of him.

Tyson grinned at him over his own copy of Hamlet, "It means that Hamlet thinks Claudius is worthless in comparison to his father," Tyson said, talking loudly to be able to be heard over the din of the cafeteria. The two were studying for an English test the next period, and needless to say it wasn't going well for Gary.

"Well, if that's the case then why couldn't he have just said that?" Gary bemoaned, picking the book up once more, in the hope that he'd be able to get something out of the text before the bell rang. "All of this ambient pantmeter makes everything so ridiculous."

Beside him, his other friend Cynthia raised her head from her book, and said wryly, "You mean 'iambic pentameter'?"

Gary raised his arms in frustration. "Whatever, either way I don't understand it and I'm going to fail English."

"You know you might do better if you ever actually picked up a book," she replied, turning back to the book she had in hand. Unlike the other two, she did not have a test coming up, so was instead burying her nose in a well-worn copy of Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring.

"Books are boring," Gary snorted.

"If you picked up a good book like this one you wouldn't be saying that." Cynthia waved the book in his face, grinning at his attempts to swat it away.

"All books are boring," Gary replied, rolling his eyes at her antics. "All reading is boring. Shakespeare is extra boring, and confusing."

All too soon the bell rang, signalling the end to the lunch period. The three joined the rush of students departing the cafeteria for their classes. In the hall Cynthia bid the two boys good luck with their test, and left for Art.

As they walked toward English Gary felt his stomach begin to knot. This was not going to go well, it wasn't going to go well at all.

In the class the desks were lined up neat and orderly, with just enough space between them to make cheating off a friend difficult, Gary noted. Not that Gary was generally one to do such things, but English tests sometimes made him desperate. He hadn't been exaggerating earlier, if he didn't do well on this test he was going to fail the class.

Gary took his seat, and looked down at the test on the desk. As he began reading he could feel the knot in his stomach getting tighter and tighter. Lines swam before his eyes, but made no sense.

'Good Hamlet, cast thy nighted colour off, and...'

'Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables...'

Squinting his eyes, Gary tried to focus and garner some meaning from the text, but it was no use. He stared at the page for a good five minuets, gaining nothing, before he gave up and slumped forward on the desk.

It was no use. He was going to fail.

He closed his eyes and the words reverberated through he mind. The scratching of the class' pencils grew distant, as the one phrase repeated over and over.

He was going to fail.

He was going to fail.

He was falling.

Gary's eyes flew open as he landed face first in the dirt. With a whoosh air rushed out of his lungs, and he began gasping for breath. After a moment of wheezing air returned to his lungs and he could breath normal.

He was about to stand up and return to his seat he had somehow fallen out of, when he realized he had fallen face first in the dirt.

With a yelp he scrambled to his knees, only to get tangled in a swath of cloth that was certainly no part of the jeans and t-shirt he had been wearing moments before. Looking down at himself he yelped again, and tumbled backward, only barely catching himself with his hands before his head would have smashed into the ground.

He snapped his eyes shut and calmly counted to ten, allowing his breathing to return to normal. When he opened his eyes everything would be normal. He'd be back in class, sitting on the tiled floor, listening to the snickers of his classmates over his spectacular fall from his desk.

Slowly he peeked his eyes open, only to be met with the same bright sun and grassy clearing that certainly was not part of his English classroom. Looking down at himself, he was still clothed in a pale green dress, yes dress, and not his usual attire. He felt his breathing start to accelerate once more, but he forced himself to calm down, knowing that panicking would only make things worse.

There has to be a rational explanation to this, he thought to himself, there has to be. Maybe I'm dreaming.

Three pinches on the arm later and he concluded that he was not in fact dreaming.

He looked around himself, hoping against hope to find an answer to where he was and what exactly was going on. He was in the middle of a small glade dotted with wild flowers and surrounded by towering trees. A small brook cut through the clearing, and passed beside him, before disappearing into the trees beyond.

"Well, what now Gary?" He asked himself aloud.

Carefully he stood, feeling the skirts of the dress brush uncomfortably around his shins. Hiking the dress up ridiculously high to make it easy to walk, he turned and walked to the brook. He glanced down and what he saw there caused a third unmanly shriek to escape his lips, before he fell unceremoniously on his rump.

Nervously, hoping that what he saw was just a trick of the light, but in truth knowing it wasn't, he crawled forward and looked into the water once more. The reflection that stared back at him was his own, but it didn't look normal.

Whereas normally he kept his hair cropped short, just above the ears, he now had curly locks that nearly brushed his shoulders. What was more, his hair was usually a dark, nondescript, brown and it was now several shades lighter and layered with reddish highlights.

Not only that, his usual hazel eyes were now an unnatural shade of green, and his face had taken on softer, more delicate features.

The change in hair and facial features, coupled with the lacy green dress he was wearing, gave him a much more feminine appearance than he was comfortable with. In a moment of panic his hands flew up to his chest, and he was instantly relieved.

"At least that's still normal," he said, as he felt a familiar flatness.

Gary rocked back on his heels, trying to make sense of what was going on. He had been in English class, writing a test. Now he found himself in the woods, wearing a dress, and with a hair style modelled off of Paris from the movie Troy.

Deciding that sitting still was getting him nowhere, and answering none of his questions on what was happening, he stood up once more. Hiking his skirts up, he prepared himself to set off into the woods. Following the stream seemed like a good idea, that way he could keep some sense of direction, so he strode along next to the brook and entered the woods.

Despite pulling the dress nearly up to his waist, Gary was finding it exceedingly difficult to make progress through the woods. The dress kept snagging on branches, or slipping out of his arms and tangling itself around his legs.

As the cloth began slipping from his arms once more, he began to wonder what would ever compel a woman to wear such an impractical piece of clothing. At that same moment his foot caught the edge of a root sticking up from the ground.

He would have been sent flying into the ground once again that day, had a pair of strong arms not come out of nowhere and caught him.

"My lady, are you alright?"

Gary realized that things were about to get a whole lot weirder, as he looked up into the face of a blond haired man, who bore a striking resemblance to Orlando Bloom.

A/N-

So, there we have it, the first chapter.

If you hadn't noticed already this is a parody where I am attempting to make fun of the usual Sue traits, but with a twist as our poor Gary is the one to suffer under them.

I hope you enjoyed it and would love any feedback you're willing to give. I'm always trying to improve my writing so constructive criticism is the best :)