Socks
This was an idea that popped up while reading a story by the wonderful author megmeg999. It started out as just a joke in my attempt to make others laugh but she thought I should try to turn it into a story so I decided, why not? I know it's supposed to be a one shot but it will probably end up really long and it isn't supposed to make sense. So… yah.
And now, a quote I found that matches surprisingly well here: When people don't laugh at our jokes I don't take it as a "You had to be there" thing. I take it as a "You have to be mentally retarded like us" thing.
Well, here goes nothing. Wish me luck.
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the characters. If I did they would be kick ass teens by now, and probably look a lot more like anime…
•••000•••
Usually, stories like this one start out with saying how it was a typical day or night, where nothings out of the ordinary and everything just the same as any other day.
Unfortunately… this is not one of those days…
Oh it started out simple enough with the loud trill of an alarm. The grumblings of teenagers too tired to wake at such ungodly hours that are always defined by the lack of sun in the middle of the sky. The quiet moan of relief as the shrieking alarm finally falls silent only to have it start up again after what seems like only a moment.
"Ugh… shut up already." the lump of blankets upon the bed moans, a lean arm sliding out to slap absently at the desk beside it.
The cool plastic of an electric alarm clock presents itself after a moment, just out of reach, fingertips brushing against the cool surface. With a low growl the arm darted out farther, a tight, green nailed fist smashing down and crushing into it. The shrieking alarm immediately took on a demonic quality as the sound distorted.
"Damn it!" the hand bashed down on it again. "Shut up, shut up!" finally getting fed up the hand grabbed the alarm and yanked it off the desk before flying it across the room where it smashed into the wall with a satisfying crunch. "Finally~"
"Hey Buttercup?" a muffled voice called from outside the room.
Angry green eyes snapped open, flashing dangerously from the darkness beneath the blankets. Tearing the sheets off the dark haired girl leapt off the bed, pausing only long enough to kick violently at the fabric twisted around her ankle. Stomping the rest of the way to the door she ripped it open.
"What?!" Buttercup snapped, hanging off the door frame.
"Well, someone fell out of the wrong side of the bed this morning."
Standing in the doorway was a tall, pale, teenager. Her long red hair pulled back into a neat yet messy pony tail with a few locks of hair loose at the front.
"What do you want, Blossom?" Buttercup growled again, dragging her hand down her face as she attempted to calm herself a little. "It's too freaking early for me to play your damn guessing games."
The redhead in her door way puffed up the slightest bit, looking ready to snap back. Her creamy white cheeks flushed pink making the darker magenta of her eyes shine all the brighter. She leaned back quickly taking in a deep breath. Exhaling quietly she continued on.
"I was just going to ask you if you've seen my socks. Maybe the Professor got them mixed up again." Blossom frowned, brushing her hair back. "And it's not that early, it's already seven and if you don't hurry up your going to be late for school. Again."
"Ok, one: what socks? You've got like a trillion different socks for who the heck knows what." Buttercup grumbled, running her fingers through her shoulder length hair, wincing as she pulled at various tangles. "And for two: any time the suns not above the mountains is too freaking early!"
"I was looking for the pink ones, you know, the one with the white borders?" Blossom held up a single pale pink sock. "I haven't been able to find the other one and I've already checked with the Professor and Bubbles."
"Well I haven't seen it." Buttercup yawned widely, moving past her sister and down the hall towered the bathroom. "Pink ain't my color."
"You sure about that?" Blossom asked, dubiously eyeing her sisters clothes covered floor. "For all we know it could be under your carpet of clothes."
Blossom stuck her foot out and toed a random shirt. At least she thought it was a shirt, she wasn't too sure. She leapt clear across the hall then, grabbing onto the railing like a frightened cat.
"What's your problem?" Buttercup paused in the process of closing the door.
"I think it just hissed at me!" Blossom squeaked, eyes wide and a look of complete horror on her porcelain face.
"Maybe it did, maybe it didn't." Buttercup shrugged, closing the door with a click. "You could always check again."
"And have my toe bitten off?" Blossom squawked indignantly. "I don't think so."
"Well maybe it ate your sock." Buttercup called from the other side of the door, the sound of running water nearly drowning her out.
"You know what?" Blossom hoped off the rail, hovering just close enough to reach the doorknob. "If it's in there… you can keep it."
She squeaked again fearfully, slamming the door shut and rattling the frame when a suspicious pile of clothes seemed to move of it's own accord.
•••***•••
"What's up with you?"
"Huh?" Blossom glanced up, hands still deep in the confides of her messenger bag. "Oh, nothings wrong, I just can't seem to find my pencil."
"You know. You seem to be really forgetful all of a sudden."
Blossom glanced up again, just long enough to send a scathing glare at her annoying lab partner as he slipped his bag off. Not paying her any mind the taller boy dropping the bag unceremoniously upon the desk. He pulled his chair out, making it squeal annoyingly against the tiled floor before flopping lazily into it, sprawling out and making himself comfortable.
"I used to think you were the organized one. Now look at ya, loosing crap left and right, few pens the other day, a whole notebook last week." He curled his fingers one by one, counting off all the things she had lost in the past month with an obviously bored edge to his deep voice. "At the rate your going I'd bet you'd loose your head if it wasn't screwed on."
Blossom growled, rising to the bait and glaring at the annoying boy beside her yet still not meeting his eyes. He grinned slyly, chuckling to himself. He was expecting her to cast an insult or two and she knew it. Not wanting to give him further satisfaction in knowing that he was getting on her nerves she returned to her search, ignoring the prickling heat of his gaze on her skin. He sighed quietly, opening his own bag.
She could hear him rustling through it, pulling out whatever they would need for the class period. Blossom was vaguely aware of the bell ringing in the background announcing the beginning of class. Muttering in annoyance she refused to give up even though all her pencils and pens were nowhere to be found. It was obvious that she would have to do the one thing she didn't want to but she wasn't willing to throw in the towel just yet.
She heard the boy let out an exasperated sigh from beside her while she continued her fruitless search. Moments later a clear white mechanical pencil appeared directly in her line of sight.
Blossom blinked, once, twice and trailed the length of the pencil to the hand it was held in. From there her eyes flicked to the males face, finally meeting his red eyed gaze.
"Brick." Blossom scowled, attempting to push his hand away. "That's your pencil."
"Not like I'm going to use it." He mumbled back, wrapping his free arm around his bag and snuggling into it like a pillow.
"Your supposed to stay awake and do your work." Blossom pushed his hand back again. "And I'm not going to encourage your laziness by giving you an excuse and taking your only pencil."
"Suit yourself."
The teen beside her shrugged, spinning his hat around and tilting it low over his eyes. A soft tune reached her ears and upon closer inspection she found the tell tale black wires of headphones amongst the strands of his dark red hair. Folding his arms and settling further into his bag he peeked at her from the corner of his eye. It wouldn't be long now.
Blossom fold her arms over her chest, leaning back in her seat. Trying her hardest to ignore Brick and his stupid antics. She refused to accept charity and borrow anything of his, even if it did mean she missed out on a whole period of class work… oh who was she trying to kid?
There was a soft clatter as he nudged the pencil with his elbow, rolling it across the desk where it stopped in front of her. Sure enough, just like he knew she would, Blossom puffed out her cheeks in annoyance and snatched it up. She quickly copied down all the notes before the teacher decided to erase them, all the while ignoring the smug little smile on the damnable redhead beside her.
•••***•••
"Ok, this is just getting ridiculous!" Blossom's shrill voice cried out, echoing around the locker room.
"Don't tell me. Something disappeared again?" Bubbles questioned knowingly, peeking around the row of lockers at her sister, long blond hair already up in her usual pigtails. "What is it this time?"
"I can't find my shirt!" Blossom screamed, grabbing fistfuls of her hair and tugging it in frustration. "Someone took it!"
"Sure you didn't just misplace it?" Bubbles asked gently. "You've been awfully scatterbrained for a while now. Wouldn't want you accusing someone and you just lost it again."
"I did NOT misplace it Bubbles!" Blossom slammed the locker closed, shouting again when she accidentally bent the metal. "I just took it off before gym and put it on this hanger! Even if it fell off, it should still be in the locker!"
"Uh huh…" Bubbles hummed, not sounding convinced. "Well it's not there anymore."
"Well, OBVIOUSLY!" Blossom snapped sarcastically, too angry to feel bad when her sister flinched away from her.
Normally she would never have dreamed of snapping at Bubbles like that. Only in the heat of battle had she ever used such a tone on the sensitive blonde. Unfortunately her things had been disappearing little by little for over a month now and having people constantly accusing her of being forgetful of her items would grate at anyones nerves. Especially someone as OCD as Blossom knew she was, she wasn't in denial, the pink Puff knew she had a problem. All her things had a place and she would always put them where they belonged when she was done. Yet still things seemed to up and vanish, and no matter how hard she looked Blossom could never find them.
She would retrace her steps at school, keep an eye out in the hallways. She even up ended her entire bedroom on one particular Saturday when she was too frustrated with all the accusations in a desperate attempt to find anything.
"If you want you can borrow my jacket till we get home." Bubbles offered shyly, knowing her sister would probably spend the rest of the day fuming around the locker room if she couldn't find a shirt to wear.
"Isn't that Boomer's jacket?" Blossom frowned, still annoyed but trying to curb off a little. It wasn't Bubbles' fault that her stuff kept disappearing after all and the little blue didn't deserve to be yelled at for being worried and trying to help.
"He won't mind." Bubbles assured, holding out the oversized bundle of navy blue.
"It's not a matter of minding Bubbles." Blossom sighed, rubbing her hands over the metal door of her locker in an attempt to straighten it. "Boomer's YOUR boyfriend, what are people gong to think seeing ME walking around in HIS jacket? Especially without a shirt on under it. We don't need anymore stupid rumors floating around, people gossip enough as it is."
"What are you gonna do then?" Bubbles asked. "You can't just hide out in the locker room till schools over, it's only the first half of the day. We haven't even had first lunch yet."
"I'm not-"
"Are you guys done yet?" an unmistakably male voice called out just before a mop of shaggy brown hair appeared from around the corner.
"Mitch! Your not allowed in the girls room!" Blossom shouted at the brunet hurling the first thing within reach, which just happened to be deodorant, at his head. "How many times do we have to tell you that?"
"As many times as it takes for me to actually feel bad about it." Mitch replied nonchalantly, ducking under the projectile. "Besides, I don't know what your griping about. At least I'm not being some creep and peeping on you or something, you know I'm here."
"He's got a point Bloss." Bubbles shrugged. She paused a moment later and eyed the brunet thoughtfully.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Mitch, you've worn crop tops before right?" Bubbles questioned, slinking closer. "You don't really like that shirt either, do you?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Mitch took a step away wearily, backing slowly from the blonde. He cast Blossom a worried glance as Bubbles closed in on him. "She's gonna take my clothes isn't she?"
"Probably." Blossom nodded, folding her arms across her chest and leaning against the lockers. "Sorry Mitch, I'll pay you back for it later."
Mitch gulped, stumbling back before dashing off deeper into the locker room in a futile attempt to get away from the littlest Puff. Blossom just watched, slightly peeved about him breaking a school rule but not truly bothered by the boys presence in the girls room. There was no harm in it after all, it didn't even matter that she was shirtless either.
Sure he might act and talk like he was interested but it was by no means a secret that Mitch was well and truly fruity. He'd talk the talk and walk the walk but at the end of the day Mitch just didn't swing that way.
About twenty minutes later Mitch went running out of the locker rooms looking like he'd seen a ghost, his shirt missing nearly a foot of fabric and everything below his pectorals on display as he hightailed it out of the gym and across the field in search of the only Puff he considered mildly sane.
Bubbles and Blossom appeared a little after that, Blossom sporting a make shift though considerably stylish tube top that Bubbles fashioned from the stolen fabric of their friends clothes. Bubbles would continue on to brag about her creation for the rest of the day. Blossom on the other hand attempted to hide from most of the male and part of the female population until finally giving up and using her friends as buffers till she could get home.
The Professor nearly had a heart attack that afternoon… and he wouldn't let any of them out of his sight for almost a week.
•••***•••
Exactly one month, two weeks, and four days. That's how long it's been since that fateful day that Blossom first lost her little pink sock. Since then she's lost at least one sock from every colored pair. She's lost twelve wooden pencils, eight pens, five mechanical pens, three highlighters, two notebooks, and a binder. She's also lost an assortment of other things ranging from a simple earring to her left shoe.
Everyones been saying that she's simply gotten forgetful, that she's just scatterbrained and keeps misplacing things. They always brush it off but Blossom know, she KNOWS, that some outside force is at work here.
It's been exactly one week and two days since she's begun guarding her things. So far she's changed every lock from her bedroom door to her locker combination. She's even gotten a miniature lock, the kind one uses on luggage, for her bag. She keeps everything close by, her keys on a chain around her neck at all times, and every lock secure. She only carries one pencil or pen at a time now and even double checks her windows every so often just to be sure.
They all say that Blossom's gotten paranoid, but NO, Blossom is NOT paranoid! Blossom KNOWS that someone has been taking her things! She has searched ever crack and crevice of her room, every nook and cranny of her entire house and yet nothing can she find. If Blossom was to assume that she had indeed misplaced her items than surely they would have been found my now.
She has even gone so far as watching her clothes dry one afternoon from the shadows of the bushes in her back yard.
Unfortunately none of these actions supported her cause. They simply reinforced the beliefs of her family and friends that she is paranoid. And slowly, little by little Blossom had begun to question herself.
Perhaps she was scatterbrained, perhaps she was simply misplacing her things. It was only so simple to drop a pencil or pen somewhere and have another student pick it up then claim it their own. A booklet or binder need only have the used pages torn out to be used by another. Her earring could have fallen off the last time she used it and she just hadn't noticed. Her shoe could be at a friends house after one of their sleep overs. Her socks could simply be burried beneath the foot deep toxic waste dump of clothes Buttercup used as a carpet insisting she would get to it eventually.
But today… today was the final straw. The proverbial straw that broke the camels back. Blossom had washed her clothes again today. She had forcefully made herself leave the clothing unattended on the back line, convinced and repeating like a mantra that she was simply being paranoid. Only to return several hours later to find one of her bras missing.
There was no longer a doubt in Blossoms mind that someone was stealing her things. That someone was a person with some kind of access to her home. She decided to question the Professor first only to realize her folly just before pounding down his lab door for interrogation. For what use would the Professor have with her socks or other articles of clothes, her school supply's perhaps, but there was a whole closet full of them downstairs. No, it was not the Professor, of that Blossom was certain.
Next came Bubbles, unlike the Professor she could make use of feminine items as well. Having witnessed how spastic her sister had become Bubbles allowed the invasion of her room with the utmost grace. It didn't take long for Blossom to confirm that, no, her sister did not have her things either.
Blossom dare not scour Buttercup's cave no matter how desperate she was, choosing instead to seek out the green for herself, to demand that she clean that cesspool and help look for her things. For perhaps the floor had truly come alive and eaten them as her sister had teased.
And that was how she found herself that afternoon, hammering a weary Bubbles for the whereabouts of their green sister and stomping her way out the door.
Two houses down she stomped back up the drive and proceeded to fly open the front door, startling a frilly apron wearing HIM, causing the flamboyant demon to throw his feather duster into the air and scurry into the kitchen for cover. One look at her face as she stomped past the kitchen doorway and HIM created a wormhole in the cupboards beneath the sink, crawled inside and closing the entrance not to be seen again for the rest of the night.
Blossom stomped her way up the stairs, not bothering to lighten her steps even as the wood groaned beneath the pressure. She passed the first door without a second glance, she was familiar enough with the house to know that it was the bathroom.
She stopes in front of the second door, grasping the handle with enough force to bend the metal, and flung it open, ready to shout at her sister only to find the room barren of life.
'Why am I not surprised?' Blossom thought with a snort. Ready to slam the door and hunt out one of the other Rowdyruffs that were sure to still be within the house when she noticed something strange about the room.
Butch, much like Buttercup, preferred dark colors in his room most of it colored forest green. Unlike Buttercup his room was cleaner, the dirty clothing piled into a corner instead of lining the floor. But that is not what seemed so out of place, what was out of place was the small strip of neon peeking out from beneath his black sheeted mattress.
Blossom found herself rooted to the floor in the green Ruffs doorway. The little bit of color piqued her interest but Blossom was no creeper. Even if she was sure someone was invading her privacy it didn't give her the right to snoop around someone else's room. For all she knew it could be, and probably was, Butch's collection of porn magazines that he often talked about. What use had she to know where the idiot stashed those filthy things? Was it not enough just knowing that it existed?
Blossom shook he head again. 'I don't need to know what kind of junk he's been reading, besides, for all I know it could be covered in germs.' Blossom stepped back, closing the door a little. 'But maybe… No, I've got more important things to do than snoop around a Ruffs room.'
Blossom closed the door, clicking it shut and heading further down towered Boomers room. Maybe he would know where his brother went, and even if he didn't she could just ask Brick. One of them would surely know where the greens had gone off to. Blossom was just about to knock on the blues door when another thought hit her.
Without further ado, Blossom made a u turn and headed straight back into Butch's room, clicking on the lights and walking to the edge of his bed. Basing everything on a hunch, but not willing to pry too much in case she was wrong, Blossom picked at the neon coloration hidden just beneath his bed.
•••***•••
Being a Ruff means your tough, means your not scared of anything, means that even if something does startle you you don't show it.
Lucky for him the screeching banshie from down the hall more than drowned out the sound of him yelping like a kicked puppy and shooting out of his bed far enough to smack his face into the roof.
Two pairs of doors flew open in an instant, streaks of crimson red and cobalt blue rocketing toward the open door at the end of the hall. Both boys crashed into the room, eyes scanning around frantically, fists raised and ready to attack. Only to pause and gawk at the raving harpy at the edge of their brothers bed.
If one asked, and he were in an honest mood, Brick would admit that he had heard Blossom on an angry rant before with the occasional cuss if she were pushed far enough. But never in his life would he have ever thought he would hear such a colorful spiel of vulgarity coming from those cherry lips. She used every word he could think of, and some he had never heard before that day, anything from oaths to a gibberish of cursing that would make even a sailor blush. It sure turned Boomer red with mortification.
They were so shocked by her language that even the abrasive pitch of her voice did nothing but root them to the spot. It was several long minutes and an unknown amount of shrieking later when Brick was finally able to pull himself from his stupor, elbowing Boomer before crossing the room.
The smaller blonde stumbled a bit, shaking his head and covering his ears as the pain of her sheer volume finally set in.
"Blossom!" Brick shouted, attempting to be heard.
When it became obvious that she didn't hear him he tried again shouting louder than before. He tried a few more times, even waving his arms in front of her and blocking her path as she paced the length of the bed. When even that didn't work Brick growled in irritation.
Grabbing her roughly by the shoulders he spun her around and clamped a hand over her mouth.
"SHUT UP!"
Blossom froze, wide eyed, as if she only now realized that he was there. Silent as a mouse. She shook her head then, trading her deer in a headlight look for an irritated glare.
"Don't look at me like that. Your the one that was screaming like a banshie." Brick glared right back. "Now, can I let you go or are you gonna keep scream- OWW, THE FUCK!"
Yanking his hand away, Brick shook it violently, adding a few more curses to the exceedingly long list. Bringing it up to his face he pressed the side of his hand into his mouth, attempting to sooth the angry stinging.
"What is wrong with you?" Brick shouted around his hand. "Why would you do that!"
"You were covering my mouth and my nose, I couldn't breath, what else did you expect?" Blossom snapped back. "Maybe if you had let go sooner I wouldn't have had to bite you."
"Ugh, guys?" Boomer piped wearily, knowing they would take hours if they got into another argument.
"What?" The two redheads rounded on him, causing the blond to gulp fearfully.
"Well um, I just wanted to, um."
"Spit it out Boomer." Brick growled, frowning. "An quit stuttering."
"Ugh… just wanted to know why your here…" Boomer squeaked, cringing slightly under his brothers angry gaze. "An why Butch's room?"
Like a flipped switch Blossom immediately started up again though thankfully at a more human pitch and volume this time. She stomped around the room like an angry buffalo, kicking at random items that littered the floor, occasionally sending wild gestures towards the bed.
Catching the hints, the two boys turned their attention to their brothers bed, or more accurately to the space beneath his upturned mattress. Momentarily leaving the fuming girl behind them to her aggressive tantrum.
"The fuck…?"
"Ugh… Okay, that's just weird…"
They boys looked down with a strange mix of curiosity and confusion upon the assortment of socks littering the bed from one end to the other. The socks were a variety of different colors, looking much like a rainbow against the black bed. That in itself was weird enough, what really made the situation awkward though was the fact that the socks were very obviously NOT their brothers. Butch had rather large feet and these were at least a good two or three sizes too small. Not to mention that a good portion of them were the long thigh length ones, something Butch would definitely never wear.
After observing the sock collection for a a minute or two Brick's face curled up into a disbelieving scowl.
"Boomer… Please tell me I'm imagining it and these things aren't seriously categorized…"
Said blonde blinked, looking over them again.
"Holy shit, your right, freaking color coded with dates an everything…!" Boomer gaped, utterly horrified by the find. "Thats like, freakin stalker creepy man!"
It was no wonder Blossom had reacted the way she did. For the past, who knows how long, Brick had caught her complaining about missing socks and other things. He just figured she lost them and left it at that, even told her that himself. To find out that it wasn't an accident, to find that someone really HAD been taking her stuff, he would have been downright pissed if it happened to him.
"What kind of weirdo takes socks anyways?"
"Apparently our brother…"
"Hey wait a minute… what's that?" Boomer questioned, reaching to the back corner for an odd looking strip of fabric.
His hand hadn't even come within an inch of it before Blossom made a heroic dive over the bed, snatching it up and hiding it behind her back.
"What's with that reaction?" Brick questioned, eyeing her suspiciously as she scoot back across the bed and away from them, taking half the socks with her.
"Nothing." Blossom replied just a little too quickly to seem casual.
"What are you hiding?" he asked again, not believing her for a moment, the guilt plain as day on her face.
"I have no idea what your talking about." Blossom turned towards the wall, scooting further away.
It was because of this inattention that she failed to notice Boomer following her. Darting forward he weaved around her side and snatched the item out of her grip.
"Hey!" Blossom shouted at him, grabbing for it.
Boomer was too fast though and before she could get in another word he slipped out of her reach. Brick turned around just in time to catch his brothers blanched face before he let out a shout and tossed the red and black polka dotted bra away as if it had scalded him.
Brick burst out laughing as a red faced Blossom snatched the garment back out of the air. He was mildly worried that she might start screaming profanities again, there was only so many curses he could handle coming from the usually reserved Puff, but thankfully she didn't seem inclined to do so. She did start snapping at Boomer about things he should or shouldn't do though.
"When someone tells you not to touch something it means you shouldn't touch it!" Blossom continued on her longwinded rant. "I hid it cause I didn't want you touching it but you stupid boys are so thick headed that you go and do it anyways! What, do you think just cause you have superpowers it just automatically entitles you to do anything you want regardless of what other people say? Do you think your so high and mighty that you can get away with whatever and not deal with consequences?"
Blossom turned an interesting shade of magenta that nearly matched her eyes as she continued on in the same breath. Boomer shrank back a little more with each punctuated screech and accusation until he ran out of space and flattened himself against the wall. He tried to turn away a little but Blossom seemed to have something to say about that as well, scolding him for being rude and not looking at someone when being spoken to, even if she was screaming instead if speaking. Boomer, for his diminishing pride, claimed it he only complied because turning away made her louder as she yelled straight into his ear, not because she frightened him.
Somewhere along the way she somehow branched off into accusations of how Boomer had been hanging around his older brother too much and that Butch was slowly turning his innocent brother into pervert just like him. The follow up to that was that if Boomer didn't want to end up a complete weirdo than he had better never touch someone else's undergarments ever again. The blonde attempted to defend himself after that one, claiming that he had never even thought about other peoples clothing further than whether a shirt looked nice or not, so he wouldn't be caught dead touching it. He got the offended bra that started the rant waggled in his face for emphasis before the enraged girl smacked him over the head with it for what she claimed was his punishment for lying to her.
Brick just stood on the opposite side of the room wondering where everything had gone wrong. Sure he was originally created by a monkey, and sure he had been born in a prison but that didn't make him a bad person did it? He did so many good things since then, like not robbing banks and attempting not to beat people to a pulp for pissing him off, didn't that count for something? Okay, he'd admit that he still occasionally hit a person or two but those bastard had it coming, they should never have tried to kick his chair.
But still he found himself standing in this room next to his brothers stolen collection of left socks and a bra. The female that they obviously belonged to yelling in his other brothers face while she repeatedly smacked him with the pilfered loot, all the while telling him not to touch it, as she turned various colors from lack of oxygen. And to think, he passed Mojo up on the offer to accompany him to the banana convention that week. He could have been looking at all the different types of bananas and banana dishes instead, but noo, he had to be the stubborn Ruff and stay home.
'Next time… I'm going to the Banana Convention.' he decided, dropping the sock in his hand and making his way across the room, fully intending to stop his counterparts tirade even if she had every right to be angry.
•••***•••
"I'm home!" the loud call echoed around the empty house without a single response. "That's strange."
Usually HIM would poke his head out of the kitchen with a plate of cookies or whatever the demon had baked within the past several hours. If not that then at least a greeting and the estimated time it would be before the next meal, the demon was surprisingly good at cooking and baking.
Even if HIM wasn't home, one of the Ruffs or even Mojo would always be somewhere in the house. There was rarely ever a time that it was empty for more than an hour or two. Sure enough, staying quiet for a moment made it easier to pick out the tell tail thumping of movement from upstairs.
Now normally that wouldn't have been anything to write home about but for some reason the sounds were coming from the left side of the house. Mojo's room was on that side but he was still out of town for at least another day or two. He doubted anyone was in the bathroom since he could see the open door from here.
So all that left was his room. It had been only a week since HIM's last cleaning spree so he wasn't due for another of those for at least a good month. Which left his brothers… what the heck would they be doing in his room?
"Heck if I know." Buttercup shrugged at his unasked question sitting herself in the middle of the floor to pull her shoes off. "Your the one related to them."
Butch froze as he watched her, a sudden sense of foreboding sending a cold chill down his spine. Not wasting any time dwelling on it he leapt over her, flying up the stairs to his room. The door was still shut but he could see the lights seeping out into the hall.
The thumping came from inside, sounds of things being dragged around accompanying a muffled growling. It sounded like some kind of wild animal was lurking on the other side. Bracing himself for the worse he grabbed the knob, which he now noticed was bent like a lump of dough, and flew open the door. It may not have been an animal he found on the other side, but he was sure wishing it was right about now.
The green Ruffs room was a complete disaster zone. It looked like some kind of home rendition of a possible World War Three. In one corner he found his bed and nightstand completely upturned, Brick standing a few feet away as he yanked the dresser drawers out and sifted through the contents, a bunch of lacy women's clothing clenched in his fist.
On the other side, it looked like his closet had thrown up across the floor. Boomer kneeled beside this mess, half in the closet holding a glossy, black, high heeled boot in one hand and a bright red stiletto in the other. The blue Ruff seemed the slightest bit sick, judging by his pale complexion, and didn't look any better with the small strand of cobwebs in his hair.
What really stole the attention though was the positively rabid female at the center of it all, hovering protectively around a small pile of items in the middle of the room, looking ready to bite anyone that got too close as she spewed a froth of angry sounds and even angrier words.
"Holy crap! Look at all this shit!" Buttercup stated unabashed, ducking under his arm an walking across the room, taking in all the sights. "And they call my room a Hell hole."
Stopping a few feet from her sister, she wasn't really certain if the girl actually would bite, she glanced over the pile of things. Comprehension dawned on her moments later and she turned back towards Butch, glancing between him and Blossom repeatedly.
"Remember when we had that conversation about the worlds most shittyest ways to die?" Bending over she reached out and hooked a little pink sock out of the pile and held it out to him dangling by her index finger. "Well, I think I've just found number one on that whole shit list." A sadistic smile bloomed across her face. "You better run bitch, cause she's gonna skin yo ass."
Butch would have slapped her back with a witty comment but it was in that exact moment that he finally caught the eyes of the Powerpuff leader. Never in his life had he ever wanted to cry out for his mommy, not like he had a mommy to cry to anyways even if HIM was a pretty good second, than he did right then. Those little worm holes the lobster was so fond of sounded pretty good right about now.
Still slightly crouched, Blossom slunk across the room, moving in much the same way one would approach a frightened animal. She kept her eyes trained on him the whole time, starring him down like a viper would a mouse. Any other day, any other situation and Butch probably would have been positively enthralled by that look in her eye being directed at him. His brain would have taken a flying fucking eagle dive straight into the gutter, never to be heard from again.
As luck would have it he wasn't exactly in that sort of situation. The redhead closing in on him with that predatory glint couldn't be further from those thoughts if she tried and for once, Butch was sorely outmatched in this game of cat and mouse.
Something in the depths of his of his subconscious, probably his exceedingly small sense of self preservation, chose that moment to kick him in the ass. Doing a complete one-eighty he hightailed it out of the room, launched himself off the stairs, and out the front door screaming like a little girl.
Buttercup ran over to the window, grabbing onto the frame and hanging out so she could see the pink Puff as she chased the green Ruff down the street.
"Run mother fucker RUN!" Buttercup shouted after them, cackling like a witch. "She's gaining on ya! RUN!"
Tossing the shoes into the ever growing pile Boomer joined Buttercup in the window. "Ooh! That's gotta hurt…" he winced, seeing the light pole Blossom uprooted and used to swat at Butch, momentarily knocking him off his feet. "Think we should help him?"
"No way." Brick stated with finality, still carrying a drawer and picking things out as he followed them. "He brought this upon himself, maybe it'll teach him a lesson."
"Which one of you fuckers wanna bet she catches him in the next ten minutes?" Buttercup grinned gleefully.
"Your on!" Boomer smirked, concern for his brother being outweighed by the prospect of free cash, and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. "Ten bucks says she only takes five."
"You really think that little of him huh?" Brick monotoned, he paused then, fishing something out. "Twenty says he gets taken down in the next two minutes."
"And I'm the one that thinks little of him?" Boomer rolled his eyes.
"We got a deal or not?"
"Deal." Buttercup fist pumped, swinging a left hook as Blossom hurled a random mailbox at Butch who seemed more than content with fleeing like a cockroach. "No way she catches him that fast. He's too far away."
"Boomer?" Brick turned his eyes on his brother, patiently awaiting his verdict.
"I'm with the Puff on this one." Boomer quipped, fishing out another ten as Blossom chased Butch back towards the house. "No way she catches him that fast."
"We've got a deal then." Brick grinned, looking like he had already won. "It's been about a minute already and if he gets caught in the next sixty seconds you both fork over twenty bucks no questions asked."
"Yep." Buttercup turned away from the window just long enough to send him a smirk. "Easiest twenty bucks ever."
"You could say that again." Brick stated with a positively shit eating grin on his face as he dangled something very lacy and very green in front of her face.
Buttercups eyes narrowed crossing slightly as she attempted to focus on the item in front of her nose.
"Mother fuck-!" She let out a strangled gasp, snatching it from him with wide eyes and stretching it out for a second to see it better. "This's mine!" she immediately crumpled it, shoving into her pocket before Boomer could get a good look at whatever it was. "Mother fuckers gonna get it!"
"Ten, nine, eight," Brick counted smugly.
Without further ado she launched herself out the window, tearing off down the street.
"Seven, six, five, four,"
"What was that?" Boomer glanced at his brother before looking back at Buttercup whom made a beeline for Butch.
"Three, two, and one.~" Brick purred, grinning wider as Buttercup football tackled Butch to the pavement. "Easiest forty bucks I've ever made."
"What-? No way man!" Boomer looked at him startled for a moment before glaring. "Blossom didn't catch him, Buttercup did."
"Ah, but that's the thing," Brick leaned smugly against the window sill. "I never actually said it had to be Blossom now did I?" he waited just long enough for Boomer to process this. "All I said is that he would get caught and he did."
"Fuck you man!" Boomer grumbled, throwing the two tens at him. "But seriously, you think we should help him? Their really whaling on him- Oooh! That's gotta hurt."
"Like I said before, he brought this upon himself." Brick shrugged nonchalant. "Who knows, maybe we'll get lucky and they'll knock a few brain cells back into place."
"You kidding? They'll probably knock a few more loose!" Boomer leaned a little further out the window. "Between you an me, I don't think he has very many left to loose…"
The room fell silent then, the only sound coming from the mauling outside. With a horrified sound, Brick took a page out of Buttercup's book and launched himself out the window.
"Stop!" He shouted with a panicked tone. "I don't need him any stupider!"
Face palming at the sheer stupidity of the situation Boomer decided to take the long way and left the house through the front door like normal humans did. Not for the first time that day he froze in his tracks.
Just off the porch was none other than Bubbles, sitting in a lawn chair as if she owned the place with a big blue bowl of candied popcorn.
"Popcorn?" She chirped happily, holding the bowl out in his general direction.
"…" Boomer looked from her to the bowl of popcorn to the tangle of limbs not five feet away that was their siblings and back. He shrugged. "Sure, why not."
Dropping down onto the grass beside her he crossed his legs and placed the bowl in his lap. Shoveling handfuls of the sweet corn into his mouth.
"Wait a minute, is that a camera?" He questioned through a mouthful of the colorful stuff when he noticed the little silver device in her hand. "Are you recording this?"
"Why yes, yes I am…" she grinned, cheering her sisters on as Buttercup got her fingers around Butch's neck, shaking him back and forth until he turned an interesting shade of purple, while Blossom pinned Brick, not letting him help the green being strangled.
Boomer blinked once, twice, shrugged again and shoveled another handful of corn into his mouth.
"I've learned it's better not to ask." he nodded sagely.
•••000•••
I didn't really know where to stop it so… yah. Here's my very first one shot. If you get confused don't worry it's really not supposed to make sense. Hope it's ok though. Tell me what ya think.