Harry Potter was walkin' down the street (in the hood) drinking some pure OG mountain dew, when he saw two oompa loompas giving each other a pacific rimjob. He didn't like it much so he called willy wonka and was like: "BITCH! Y U DO DIS TO MAH EYES MAN. It hurt so bad and make me want to shove an onion up my butthole."
Willy Wonka replied; "I think that can be arranged..."
Willy wonka took out his sanic screwdriver and pressed the button. A trap opened up underneath Harry, playing the most OG of all trap mu5ic, leading to a dungeon that smelled awfully like onions and swamp. Harry Potter dropped his fedora, as he fell into the bowels of the dungeon lying below. "Ha! Suck on these nuts ya bastard!" He heard from somewhere in the dungeon as he fell what seemed like four hundred and twenty feet. The voice had a very thick Scottish accent. Potter was horrified. His years at hagwortz had never prepared him for a moment like this. He didn't even have his magic wand with him. He let Ginny borrow it when she said that she needed it for some "Self Understanding," as she had put it.
Harry heard footsteps coming towards him, and fast. He tried to get away, but there was too much dank swamp smell that he was paralyzed. He saw a person, or, was it? It looked an awful lot like a Spongebob Illuminati. Those were extremely rare specimins of the majiking world, and only a few exist. They are even more rare than the Micheal Jackson species, which was thought to be extinct, until the Billy Mays movement. The Spongebob Illuminati, or Big Booty Bitches for short, came up to Harry, and uttered some words that made his heart sink. "I am a Desciple of the Ogerlords, and I am here to bring you to Shrek."
Harry was scared. he knew what Shrek was capable of, and had heard the stories. I mean, how else do you think that Ron was so messed up in the head? (And also the butt if you know what I'm saying.) The Big Booty Bitches picked Harry up by the penis, which was fully erect due to the swampy smell doing its majik on his bloodstream. With the sound of Skrillex booming in the air, the Big Booty Bitches took Harry into the center of the dungeon. There, he saw the Ogrelord, in the flesh, raping Ash Ketchum, with seven onions shoved up Ash's butthole and Shrek's monster cock in his mouth. Ash's body was almost completely coated in onion semen. Ash was thrown to the side, as Shrek looked hungrily at Potter.
"So, lad, you fell into my trap, did you?