A/N: Got this from the Captains Blog and it sparked an idea. Other Staff issues: Seeing Gwen experience it for the first time took me right back to when I first heard that terrible scream. After Gwen had gone home, I just held on to Ianto for a couple of hours, as tightly as I could.

Adrift

As Ianto stepped through the door, Jack pulled him into his arms. "Now, where were we?" He went to kiss Ianto but he pulled back. Which was very difficult with Jack being shirtless and his pants still unzipped.

Ianto looked down at the Hub. "I don't like this."

"I thought you enjoyed naked Hide and Seek," Jack said, hurt in his voice.

Ianto rolled his eyes and gave Jack a chaste kiss. "No, I do. I'm pretty sure I made that obvious. I meant, I think maybe you were right and she shouldn't know. I shouldn't have put that tracker on her desk…I'm sorry."

Jack hugged him. "No, you were right she's not going to let it go. If she keeps digging there's a chance someone outside of here will find out about Flat Holm and that can't happen."

Ianto sighed. "It's just…"

Jack ran his fingers over Ianto's cheek. "What, Yan?"

"I wouldn't betray you like she thinks I just did. I wouldn't do that to you after what we've been through. I keep your secrets and I would never hurt you or go against something you said. Which is why I told you before I did it."

Jack pressed a kiss to Ianto's forehead. "Which is exactly why I trust you, Yan, because I know all that. Yes, we argued and I was upset at first but I knew you were right. I just didn't want to give in to her after I told her to drop it. But you were right, trust me on that."

Ianto smiled. "I shouldn't let this bother me but it does. Sorry, this is work stuff and we finally have time to ourselves and I'm spoiling it."

Jack moved his hand to massage the back of Ianto's neck. "No you're not; she's the one who interrupted us. Look, tomorrow when she discovers Flat Holm, I'll tell her that I had you put that tracker on her desk. I wanted to spare her but since she wouldn't listen or obey my orders I had to let her figure things out without once again backing down. Will that help?"

Ianto nodded. "Thank you, I just don't want her to think that I think that little of you. That what we have isn't important to me when it is."

"You don't want her to think that I'm just a casual shag you'll screw over when I'm being stubborn, you mean?"



Ianto nodded again, looking down. "Yeah."

Jack sighed and ran his other hand down Ianto's arm and stroked his wrist. "I didn't help saying there was work to do did I? As if you could ever be any work, I didn't mean it, I was just upset and it was the first thing that came out of my mouth. I'm sorry, Yan."

Ianto looked back up at him. "It's okay; you were being the Captain who uses humor to lighten the subject. Not my Jack that no one else gets to see."

Jack moved his hand back up to Ianto's face, tracing his lower lip with his thumb. "You know me so well; I love you and need you next to me which is why I can be myself around you."

Ianto gave him a rare smile and kissed him. "I love you too. And tomorrow when you get back from there I'll be right here waiting."

Jack hugged him tightly. "Thank you." He paused. "Do you think I'm doing the right thing by those people? I can only imagine what Gwen is going to say tomorrow when she finds out the truth."

Ianto sighed, as he ran his fingers through Jack's hair. He only hoped the Gwen would see what Jack had done, saving those people in the only way he could. Helping them as much as he could, Jack carried the burden until he had let him in. He hoped she wouldn't want to tell their families or try reuniting Jonah with his mum. Though he could predict that she would, she was as stubborn as Jack. "Course I do. Those people were kept in cells, not even cared for. Then you built that place, got them help, and now they're looked after and safe. Their families wouldn't know how to care for them or even understand. You're doing all you can."

"I wish it was more though."

Ianto gazed at him. "I know. I'm proud of you, do you know that?"

"For doing what? Keeping them from their families? Not being to help them after the rift spit back out?" Jack replied bitterly.

Ianto cupped Jack's face in his hands, not wanting him to go to that dark place of guilt and blame he would lose himself in. "You can't control that, Cariad. You've given them comfort and care, and put your heart into doing what you can. You go there when it tears you apart, to visit them and let the nurses know the best treatments and care. You carry the burden and make it your responsibility because no one else would. That's what I'm proud of; please don't let it bring you down."

Jack smiled and kissed him softly, embracing him tightly. "What would I ever do without you?"

"I imagine you would be a coffee depraved mess," Ianto teased him. "Now, how about I make some coffee before we pick up where we left off?"

"Sounds good," Jack kissed him deeply, but didn't let him go until a few minutes had passed.



Ianto returned with the coffees and handed Jack his. Jack was lounging lazily, half sitting, half lying across the table, his elbows propping him up. He had missed Ianto the moment he had left, and had been impatiently shouting for him.

"Coffee is an art, Jack, it takes time."

Jack sipped his coffee. "And it's perfect, but I'm not letting you go anywhere else tonight."

"I was just downstairs."

"Too far," Jack replied. "And nowhere close enough to touch."

Ianto walked over so he was standing between Jack's legs and leaned against his thigh. "Better?"

"Much," Jack leaned up and kissed him, "better."

Ianto told him about his conversation with Gwen on the phone. "I wanted to say who do you think left it? Myfanwy?"

Jack burst into laughter. "Or Janet."

Ianto laughed. "You should keep an eye on her."

"Definitely." He paused. "I was thinking we're going to have to tell Owen and Tosh."

"Owen might be of some help medically but we should spare Tosh the details. Owen too if we can." Ianto sipped his coffee slowly, savoring it.

Jack nodded. "I'd spare you all if I could. Gwen is never going to forget Jonah's screams…"

Ianto shuddered, remembering when he had visited Flat Holm during Jack's trip with the Doctor. Jack had refused to let Ianto go with him before then, only telling him everything he needed to know to spare Ianto the tragic experience. "Neither will I. Or you."

Jack reached for Ianto's hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't there and you had to go to Flat Holm."

"Me too, I never told you this because I thought you'd think it was silly or that I was weak but-"

"I would never think that about you," Jack said honestly, stroking Ianto's palm. "Sorry, go on."

"I helped a newer victim get settled right during one of Jonah's spells. It was indescribable, shook me up. I came back here, curled up in your cot because I knew that it would comfort me."

"Did it?" Jack asked, his heart breaking knowing that he hadn't been there to truly comfort Ianto when he needed him. Ianto was always there for him.



"Not as much as if it had been you, but it did help," Ianto replied truthfully. Jack wrapped his legs around Ianto before sitting up to kiss him tenderly. Silently promising that would always be there from now on as Ianto gazed at him. "Point is we both know what it's going to do to her."

Jack sighed. "I wish she had let this go."

Ianto nodded. "Sometimes, the only way to realise that you shouldn't look behind that door is to actually go and look. Sadly, Gwen is going to have to learn that."

"You are very wise, Ianto Jones." Jack set his empty cup down and sat upright so there was no space between them.

Ianto kissed him softly. "It comes from loving someone as timeless as you."

Jack grinned then kissed him deeply as he started unbuttoning Ianto's shirt. "Now where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"

Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack. "I believe we were right here. And I was going to take you on this table and love you all night long."

Jack pushed Ianto's shirt off. "Perfect."

Later the next after Jack watched Gwen pull down the files and put them away, he went back to his office. Ianto was stretched out across the sofa, tie off and waist coat open. Jack toed off his shoes, crossed over to the sofa, and pressed a tender kiss to Ianto's lips. He then climbed over Ianto and curled up on his side. Getting comfortable, he rested his head over Ianto's heart letting the steady beat drown out Jonah's screams. He held Ianto tightly telling him everything that had happened, as Ianto soothed him gently running his fingers through Jack's hair.

When Jack was finished, he fought back tears, squeezing his eyes shut against it all. "Seeing Gwen experience it for the first time took me right back to when I first heard that terrible scream," Jack whispered. "I knew I shouldn't have agreed to let Nikki see him, but Gwen asked if I had ever lost anyone like that and I gave in."

"Oh Jack," Ianto whispered, cursing silently. Gwen had unknowingly used Jack's deepest pain against him, the loss of his little brother. "I'm so sorry, Cariad."

"Will you stay, Yan?"

"All night," Ianto whispered, taking one of Jack's hands in his and twining their fingers together.

Ianto began softly singing in Welsh an old love song that his mum always sung, which brought a smile to Jack's lips and slowly he relaxed. He was exhausted mentally, and feeling safe and comforted he allowed himself to doze.



Ianto smiled at the telltale signs that Jack was asleep. He continued singing until Gwen walked in. She truly did not have the best timing.

"Thought you had gone home," Ianto said, hoping she hadn't hear him singing.

Gwen looked at the two of them seeming dazed. "Oh he's asleep, I wanted to talk to him," she said quietly. "He told me he doesn't sleep."

"He does when he needs time to recover," Ianto said simply, still running his fingers through Jack's hair hoping Gwen's presence wouldn't wake him.

"Is he okay?"

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

"No," she said sadly.

"Then what makes you think he is?" Ianto paused, and then refused to get angry knowing she was hurting as well. "He tried sparing you from all this, y'know."

She nodded. "I regret not listening. He told me he wasn't going to give in, but you two talked and figured I should know after all."

"You've still got your copper attitude, you wouldn't have let it go," Ianto joked lightly.

Gwen smiled. "I guess I do, can't help it." She paused. "I didn't think it would be something this horrible."

"He knows what's best. And he was doing all that could be done for those people."

"I know that now. I just wanted to do more for them, for their families, but it made things worse."

Ianto nodded. "As I've told Jack, there's only so much you can do. That's life Gwen, sometimes people can't be saved no matter what you do."

She twisted her hands together. "I suppose so. Do you really think we can't do anything else for them though?"

Ianto shook his head, damn if she wasn't persistent. For Jack's sake, he was going to have to say something. "Please let this go, there's nothing more that can be done than what is already being done. For everyone's sake, let it go. It hurts Jack that he can't save them; he takes the burden upon himself. Don't keep talking or pushing for solutions, it'll tear him apart. We've tried everything, trust me, Gwen. The way it is, is the way it is."

Gwen nodded, and Ianto was relieved. "Okay."



Ianto thought for a brief moment she would leave and he could continue comforting Jack. But she gave him a curious look and he knew the conversation wasn't over. Ianto sighed inwardly as he stole a glance at Jack.

"How did you know about Flat Holm?" She asked.

"Jack confided in me, asked me to look after the people if he ever had to go away."

"Oh, I didn't even know when I was in charge."

"I handled it as Jack asked, and I did most of the paperwork remember? It isn't something you'd notice outside admin, and I took care of the victims for him. I knew he'd be back once he got his answers. No, that isn't true, I hoped he would. I trusted that he'd do the right thing and come back," Ianto said quietly. He had hoped that Jack had cared enough to come back to him and he had.

"You trust him that much?"

"With my life," Ianto replied honestly.

Gwen seemed startled but she tried to hide it. "Guess we all have to, eh? He is our leader."

"You know he's more than that to me," Ianto said simply, as if it couldn't be more obvious considering the way Jack was curled against his side.

Gwen turned red. "Right, I'm still sorry about that. I was taught to knock before I entered but I heard a noise and didn't think."

"Doesn't matter. Is there anything you want me tell him?"

"Just that I'm sorry. Guess I'd better get home."

Ianto smiled at her. "Good night, Gwen."

She smiled back. "Good night, Ianto." She walked out of the room.

Ianto leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jack's head, knowing he had woken but stayed silent.

"Thank you," Jack whispered. "You dealt with that perfectly. She wouldn't listen to me like that."

"Anytime, Cariad." Ianto rubbed soothing circles in Jack's back. "Now rest, I'm right here."

Jack leaned up for a kiss then settled back down. "I really would be lost without you," he said quietly before closing his eyes again.

fin