A/N: Sorry to all of you who are waiting for an update on Prank Warfare, the computer with my files to that is in the shop, but I should have it back very soon. This has been an idea stuck in my mind for a while, so I figured I'd give you something in apology for my late updating on my other stories.
Author: IFoundNowhere
Summary: A little friendly competition never hurt. This however, might be crossing the line. In which Sakura loses her cool, and Sai finally gets to show off.
Wordcount: 605
Warnings: Nudity (Oh, yes)
The Effects of Random Competition
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"If any of my competitors were drowning, I'd stick a hose in their mouth."
-Ray Croc, Founder of McDonalds
Walking towards the training grounds with Naruto and Sai, Sakura was once again reminded that while Sai was nice to look at, once he opened his mouth, his entire image was ruined.
"I've been thinking, Ugly-"
"Please, no. Just stop thinking, and in the process, stop talking. You can even stop breathing."
Ignoring her, he continued, " –that Naruto-kun in his sexy-no-jutsu form is much prettier than you, so does that technically make you uglier than a man, even if he is disguised as a woman?"
Silence reigned supreme for thirty seconds, and then Sakura abandoned trying to calm herself and slapped her hands together in a familiar sign with a thundering clap. Before either male could even blink there was a poof of white smoke, and the silhouette of a man became visible.
Naruto's jaw dropped while Sai's usually passive expression broke as his eyes widened to startling proportions.
Before them stood a man, taller than either of them, yet slim and finely caked in muscle, with a stance that belied a natural, cat-like grace. His soft looking petal-pink hair fell softly to his shoulder, bangs covering one eye while the other intense green eye blinked slowly, seductively, long magenta lashes casting shadows on perfectly formed high cheekbones.
An aquiline nose rested above bow-shaped pink lips, a red tongue darting out to wet them, leaving a glistening trail. He had a strong jaw, stubbornly set, and a prominent Adam's apple. Their gaze continued down, past the wide shoulders, broad chest, slim hips-
Naruto crossed both of his hands in front of his crotch self-consciously, cringing slightly in self-disgust at his flaming blush, before whipping his eyes back up to that one green eye, scowling at the knowing look it held.
That jade eye turned languidly to Sai, widening slightly at the frown on his normally impassive face.
"Feeling the competition, Sai?" Sakura's newly deepened voice rumbled smoothly throughout the clearing, a smirk present on those pouty lips, giving a glimpse of perfect white teeth.
Naruto whimpered.
Sai said nothing, only raised an eyebrow. Before either of his companions could comprehend what was happening, he had unzipped his pants and whipped it out, smirking proudly.
"GAH!"
POOF!
"ARGH!"
THUD!
Sakura slapped a hand quickly over her eyes, quickly transforming back into herself as she lost hold on the jutsu.
Naruto backed up quickly, tripping over a stray piece of grass and landing on his back. Staring up at the sky dejectedly, he wondered why the gods had decided that he would have to suffer so much in life.
"SAI! WHAT THE HELL?! PUT IT AWAY! PUT IT AWAY!" Sakura shrieked shrilly, her voice cracking on the last word.
Sai's other eyebrow rose in confusion, as he tucked himself away again, the zipper seeming almost painfully loud as it sounded through the ringing silence.
"Ugly, I was just showing you that I don't need to worry about competition. You may be prettier but I'm bi-"
"ENOUGH! Enough. Sai, you can't just expose yourself in public like that! Especially when there's a lady around!"
Sai smirked deviously, "I didn't see any women here, Ugly."
Sakura shrieked in frustration, stomping to the training grounds angrily, trying to surreptitiously wipe away the small stream of blood that had leaked from her nose.
His inane smile back in place, Sai followed after her, proud of his accomplishment.
Neither of them paid any attention to Naruto, who had finally passed out from the overwhelming stress of it all. And from that day on, he treated Sai with a newfound respect.
-xxx-
"I always knew you had a penis, Ugly."
"Shut UP, Sai!"
-xxx-
I'm not sure if I liked the way I wrote this at all. Oh, well. Apologies to anyone who was offended.
Reviews make for happy writers!