Disclaimer : I don't own transformers, Hasbro does.

Note: This fic his something that comes to my mind since reading another fic but it's also completely different, so I don't worry about being accused of stealing ideas. Well, I sort of love the Transformer Movie, the one from 1986 and the G1 series. It's based on my favourite scene of the Movie, when Optimus Prime dies, but it's centered on Hot Rod. What does the mech thought during the three minutes during whom he watched the Dying Prime? It's based on that question. It's a one-shot, also.

Rated: T for angst and character death

Three minutes

"I fear the wound are… fatal." The voice of Perceptor cut through my foggy CPU and I freeze, a cold, dreaded chill running through my body.

*It's not possible. It can't be happening…*

Those are the only thought that crossed my mind as I let my optics rest on the faceplates of the dying form of Optimus Prime. I let my gaze travel the body in a hazy, numb and slow motion, and then I saw it again. That horrible wound on the right side of Optimus's chest and abdomen, and I feel a shiver run down my spinal unit.

How does things had gone so wrong? How in Primus name did it had to be him who had to die?

I felt energon tears on my optics, burning them like an acid. I fight them, I can't cry, not here, not now, in front of everybody, because I don't deserve the right to cry…

Forcefully, I tear my optic off the horrible wound on Optimus's side and fix them on the slender form of Arcee. She's crying openly, kneeling beside the medical berth just in front of me, and for a minute, our optics met. I see the infinite sorrow in her baby bleu optics, and I can't bear it. How Can I look at her… at anybody… ever again, when I am the one… I can't even finish my own thought, and I felt the tears I tried to keep inside rolling down my cheeks.

I look down, and lock my optics at the floor before my feet.

Everybody thought of me as a reckless, arrogant and impatient mech, too young and too inexperienced to be in Ultra Magnus forces on hearth. I had always done my best to prove them wrong. I know I'm a capable warrior, even if I admit to be a little harsh, even reckless, at times. I am the clown, the prankster, the youngster who love the race and to do a lot of stupid things, but nobody knows the real me.

But did I know who I really am myself? I can't even answer that question much of the time. The ones who knows me the best may tell you that I am much more than what anybody else saw in me, but I don't know… I really don't know. Am I made of the things of a true Autobot Warrior?

After what happened today, I doubt more than ever… because It's my fault, and mine alone, that Optimus Prime is lying on that berth, dying, a minute or two away from the Wheel of Allspark. If not for my stupid stunt, my recklesnes, in the battle today, he would have still be well, and wouldn't be dying right now.

The scene replayed itself yet again in my CPU, like a broken datadisk, and I saw me, jumping in the way of Optimus's in an attempt to take down Megatron all by myself. As if I had a chance…

*It's all my fault… Me and my stupid actions. Why can't I thought of my actions for once in my life? Fraggin', stupid idiot…*

At that moment, Prime's voice cut hrough my raging thoughts, and I look at him quickly. His voice is so… so weak, devoid of the strenght that are there at any other time, and I felt another shiver ran throught me, one of sorrow and barely contain anger. Anger to myself and that entire situation.

"Do not… Grieve… Soon… I shall be… one… whit the… Matrix..."

"Prime…"

I heard my own voice as if it was somebody else talking through me. I can't recognize that sorrow, hatred filled tone, as my own…

"Ultra Magnus…" Again, the weak and pain filled voice of my leader cut me from my self-loathing thoughts, and I listen whit a heavy spark to his last words. "It is to you… old friend… that I shall pass… The Matrix of Leadership… As it had been pass… to me…"

For a second or two, there was a heavy silence. I saw the shock, the disbelief in the great warrior optics, as he stand right next to me. Ultra Magnus certainly didn't expected such a thing to happens, and he seems… unwilling… to accept these words. It is made clear, to me though, in his answer.

"But Prime… I'm just a soldier… I'm not worthy…"

I can't look anymore, and I close my optics, fighting more tears who threatens to pour out of my burning optics. It's not fair… Not fait at all! Why does Optimus has to die when whe needs him the most? What a poor jerk I am… I caused so much pain for everybody… I can hear Arcee sobbing even harder than before, and I bit my lips to prevent myself to follow her.

"Nor… was I… But one day… an Autobot must rise… from our ranks… And use… the power of the Matrix… the light… Our… Darkest hours…"

Then, what I saw will be engraved in my memory banks for the rest of my life, even after I, myself, received the Matrix. But right now, I am too shocked and I felt too bad to think that far. I had no idea that I was the only one to hear those weird voices, and I didn't know they were from the now revealed matrix.

Prime use his last remaining forces to open his chest compartment, and then, I saw it. The Matrix of Leadership. It's white, warm light engulfed the room and everybody in it. For a brief moment, I have a weird feeling, like if somebody's whispering in my audios, telling me words I can't understand. He then left a shaking hand, taking it out of his chest whit his very last bit of strength, said the words that I will remembered, and use as my own moto, for the remaining of my days.

"until the day… 'til all… are one…"

He then drops it and, without even thinking about it, I jump and catch it before it hit the ground. And… When my hands touch it… What I felt for the briefest of moments are… indescribable. It's like I know… Everything there is to know. A white, pure light enveloped me for a couple of seconds and I freeze. It's not for a long time that I would understand what happened that very moment, that I was the chosen One and the Matrix knew it all along. At that moment, all I could do is… nothing, really. I'm too fragging tired and angry and full of sorrow to do anything or understand what had just happened.

I pass the Matrix to Ultra Magnus and… nothing happens. It's… wrong, but I can't say why. He just opens his own chest and put it inside, then closes it.

A faint blip from the monitor Prime's plugged in caught my attention, and I look at it. The life signs are… almost inexistent, now, and I turn my optics from that damn thing. I return to my leader side and fell to my knees when I saw the deep bleu of his optics fainted away slowly. Now, I don't even bother to fight the tears that filed my optics and pour down my face.

The blips fainted to nothingness and everybody in the room is sobbing, in silence or openly. Little Daniel are the most loud, and, to my surprise, I'm the second louder in the room, even louder than Arcee. Kup, and Ultra Magnus are standing, face frozen, letting nothing be seen in their expression.

As for me… I squeeze the edge of the berth so tightly that I left finger shaped dents in it. I saw the colours faded from my Commander body as he let out his last breth, and then…

It's over.

Optimus Prime is no more.

The greatest leader the Autobots have ever had is dead, and it's because of my recklessness.

How could I ever forgive myself…?

-END-