A/N: This is a fluffy one-shot about Skulduggery, Valkyrie, and his beloved hat. Has anyone else noticed the love between them? LOL. If you ship Valduggery, read on! This was originally meant to be a super-short drabble... but I guess the plot bunnies had other ideas...?
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Skulduggery Pleasant series, characters, or its affiliates.
I'm In Love With My Hat
Valkyrie yawned and twiddled her thumbs, boredom gnawing at her thoughts. She adjusted her seatbelt and looked outside the window at the pouring rain. It had been a relatively quiet day.
She glanced at her partner. Skulduggery looked ordinary – or, the more accurate term went, ordinary for Skulduggery. He donned a pin-striped suit and wore the same black fedora hat - as always. He never left home without it. She frowned, thinking calculatingly. Hadn't he ended his motivational speech about defeating the Grotesquy with the words, "has anyone seen my hat?"
Skulduggery is seriously obsessed with that hat, she thought, giggling. Skulduggery – her favorite, tough-guy skeleton not bearing to lose his hat was just too CUTE.
"Hey, Skulduggery?"
"Hmm?" he replied, eyes not leaving the road.
"Why do you always wear that hat?"
He tilted his head slightly.
"It's a practical work hat, offers shade, and has quite a satisfactory brim for protecting against rain. Also, it's rather stylish."
Valkyrie raised her eyebrow. "Are you sure it's not because of sentimental value?"
"Ah. I was thinking that this drive was extraordinarily quiet for Valkyrie Cain. Of course – the interrogation! Oh, how I've missed this, really, I have," he said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye socket.
"Knock it off," Valkyrie moaned, "Just answer the question!"
"Oh, yes. Where were we?"
"At the part where you tell me why you love your hat so much, apologize for you annoying me, and give me a foot massage."
"I don't recall the last bit," Skulduggery said, amused as he deftly changed gears.
"Ah! Stop changing the topic! I just want to know why you're being so bloody protective of a HAT."
Skulduggery turned to face her.
"I'm in love with it," he stated with full seriousness.
"Uh, OK."
"No, seriously."
"…What?"
"Yep. Dashing Skulduggery and his dashing hat."
"You're dead serious!"
Valkyrie stared at him. He laughed.
"Oh, God no, Val. Are you really this ignorant?"
"Are you really pathetic enough for me to think you could fall in love with a bloody hat?" she shot back.
"…You've got a point there."
"But, in all seriousness, Skulduggery – you and fedora. What's up with that?"
Skulduggery's shoulders sagged. It looked like the only way to shut her up was to talk.
"Well, if you really must know, I won this hat from Ghastly a long, long time ago, by means of an excellently played game of Scopa. Then again, it was me, so naturally it was brilliant, - "
Valkyrie rolled her eyes.
" - anyways, this is a magical hat."
"You're joking."
"No, hear me out – whenever I feel down– which is rarely, of course, the constant chatter of my fabulous discoveries keeps me quite cheerful – this hat gives me an ego boost. It talks to me via an old Sanctuary asylum spell designed to help sorcerers meditate."
"OH, CRAP! I knew there was something totally inappropriate going on with you and that hat!" Valkyrie shrieked.
"Despite the initial explanation, it's quite relaxing, actually. And to tell you the truth, very pleasant, if I may say so myself," he chuckled, "Much to my embarrassment, I've become fond of it. I even named it."
Valkyrie was still freaked out. "Fond of it to the point of wearing it wherever you go?"
"Yep."
"Fond of it to the point of refusing to wear any other hat?"
"Yep."
"Fond of it to the point of naming it?"
"…You know, the way you put it makes it seem almost wrong," he sighed.
"By the way, Skulduggery, what IS it's name?"
He swerved quickly to avoid an incoming car. "None of your business."
"Please? Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?"
He scowled at her.
"No."
"PLEASE?"
"No."
"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE? I can't stand it! I'm dying of curiosity!" she complained.
"Don't worry," he said, patting her back affectionately, "I'm sure curiosity has some life-saving cure such as keeping your mouth closed for the rest of the drive."
She folded her arms across her chest. They drove the rest of the way in complete silence, her gaze boring holes into his skull until Skulduggery parked the car and opened the door for her. The smell of fresh rain tickled her nose, but it didn't distract her.
"Can you please tell me it's name?" she begged.
He stood there, lost in thought. Then finally he spoke.
"Valkyrie."
She blinked.
"That's my hat's name. Valkyrie."
And with that he sped off, leaving the girl stunned into complete silence.
Thx for reading ;) What did you guys think? Please R&R!