A/N- First! Haha :) ... It seems like people don't like Saf, but I do, so I wrote this fic from his POV. Hopefully, this will provide some insight to the inner workings/emotions of Saf, or at least what I believe them to be. Yay, Saf!
((DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bitterblue, its characters, or its dialogue.))
"A Thief"
What am I doing?! She's too good for me, too innocent. I'm going to ruin her. Or worse... worse, I'll hurt her. I couldn't bear to do that. I can't hurt her. I won't. I'd rather die. I angrily twist the ring on my left thumb breaking my train of thought. What was that? I become aware of the sound of footsteps behind me. Each step is twice the rate of mine.
I clench my hands a few times in the darkness and make a sharp right turn. The footsteps follow me and when I feel a hand grab at my arm, I'm ready for it. I spin and, taking a move from Sparks, knee him in the stomach and when he looks down I punch my fist up connecting with his nose.
"Halt," another man's voice behind me causes me to lose focus. I swing back around fist ready to fly when I see that this man is in the armor of the Monsean Guard. I hadn't expected that. I let my hand drop. The guard grabs my shoulder and growls, "We know you did it, boy. We know you murdered that man. Don't even try to lie. We've got a witness."
"What in Lienid are you talking about?" I reply, confused.
In response I receive a blow to the face. "Quiet!" Another hand grabs my other shoulder. I'm surrounded. I strike out, punching, kicking, and using every move I have in my arsenal. I feel like I'm holding my own, quite sure I've broken a few bones, until I receive another blow to the face and crash to the ground. One of the guards kicks me in the gut and when I involuntarily cry out I hear him laugh. Two of the guards reach down, each grabbing me by one of my forearms, and start dragging me.
My heels skid along the ground as they pull me through the streets. People watch as I go, some of them must recognize me. Not one of them looks concerned. They all glance over for a moment, then just keeping walking. But really what else did I expect. I thrash around, making the trip as difficult as possible. But it doesn't change anything. I'm thrown into a cell as soon as we reach the castle. It's completely empty except for a bench and a window.
Murderer, the word tosses itself around in my mind as I wait, I can't believe they think I killed someone. Even the word feels wrong associated with me. I'm a thief, nothing more, and more importantly nothing less. But still a thief, I think sadly my thoughts shifting, she's going to hate me. She acted so strangely yesterday; I hope it wasn't something I did. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed her, but she kissed me, too... both times. I don't want that to be the way we end things.
Another thought hits me, What if she comes looking for me tonight? What if something happens to her? And I'm here! I want to scream. How did I let things get this far? Why did I let her get to me? You're such an idiot, Sapphire! I slap my hands on the bench. You should have just let her be that day in the bar!
As the Sun peeks into my window, I hear keys jingle and the cell door opens. I'm lead by a guard of six men to the Queen's royal court. I'm slightly impressed by the apparent need to keep me under such high security. My eye is nearly swollen shut and I can feel blood dripping from my mouth as I walk; I must be quite the sight parading through the castle halls. I survey the castle as we walk through it, seeing the statues surely made by Bellamew, the decorated ceiling, and the sheer amount of expensive hangings and trinkets just lying around precariously scattered on pedestals and in alcoves in the halls. Her highness sure likes people to admire all her riches. Disgusting.
I'm placed in court and forced to sit on a gated in bench that makes me feel like a caged animal as one of the several judges at the front of the room announces that I have been charged with the midnight murder of Ivan. There's that word again: murder. And Ivan? He's not my favorite person in Monsea, but I still wouldn't kill him
I sit staring at my hands, feeling sorry for myself; terrified of what Sparks will think when she hears about this. It's going to be hard not seeing her at night... Maybe since she's a baker in the castle, she'll be able to bring bread to the lowly prisoner that is soon to be myself. I laugh at this, she's no baker. But that doesn't matter anymore; I'll never know what or who she is now.
"Stand up and state your name for the records," one of the judges instructs me.
"My Lienid name is Sapphire."
"You're clearly not a born Lienid," spits another judge.
"No, I'm Monsean born."
"What is your Monsean name?" asks the first judge.
"Birch."
"Now, Mr. Sapphire Birch, assuming you claim to be innocent," the judge pauses and I nod, "can you explain to the court, what your alibi is for two nights ago at the time of the murder?"
"Yes," I pause; thinking, carefully choosing my words, not wanting to accidentally incriminate Sparks. "I was in the East City, sitting on a roof, watching the stars with a friend."
"Does this friend have a name?" Apparently only two of the judges like to talk.
"Yes."
...
"But I don't know his true name." One lie. "He lives in the castle. That's all I know."
"What does your friend look like? What does he do in the castle?"
"I can't tell you that. I promised I wouldn't."
"Answer the question," orders the second judge.
"I told you, I cannot."
"We'll get back to that then. What is your grace, Sapphire Birch?" back to the first judge.
"I do not know."
The second judge is nearly unhinged. "You lie! How can you claim you have no grace, when anyone in this courtroom can see clearly that you do?"
His comment is ignored by murmurs throughout the room. "It's the queen!" "Look!" "The queen!" people whisper around me. I hear people rising to their feet. I do the opposite. I stay seated, plaster on a smirk, and look up ready to challenge her highness, expecting to see some overdressed, self-satisfied woman. But that's not at all what meets my gaze.
Sparks, the name reaches my mouth but I don't let it out. Because now I know Sparks isn't real, never was. Other names come to mind, but I hold those back as well. Instead I watch as the girl I used to call my friend, the girl I loved, go pale like she sees a ghost and spin around like she's about to get sick.
She pretends to write something with her shaking hand, but she's not even looking at the paper as she writes, her mind is somewhere else. Maybe somewhere on a rooftop in the middle of the night, or in a crowded bar trying hard to blend in, or maybe in a small room with a half-dead man and his graced friend; but wherever she is, she's not really here right now.
When she recovers, she looks at me and I shoot daggers at her with my eyes (as best as I can) wishing she could actually feel them. She asks who hurt me. Like she cares! Her guards refuse to answer, telling her to ask me. When she does, I stand up and I lie. *"The Monsean guard hurt me, Lady Queen." The real answer, You did! This is nothing, compared to what you did to me, Lady Queen. I use the name I heard the guards call her. The name escapes from my mouth a few more times, because I can see how much it hurts her. I could kill her. My anger gets to me and I drop to my seat laughing as she yells at her guard.
*"How could you?" I scream at her through my fit of angry laughter. One of the judges tries to take hold of the situation, telling me to get ahold of myself, to stand up, and show some respect. If only you knew how despicable and deceitful your queen really is, you wouldn't feel so powerful right now. I don't stand, but it does matter because dear Lady Queen commands everyone else to sit.
She starts to sit down, stands up, then sits right back down again. I can see a few people exchanging concerned looks, I just roll my eyes. She then proceeds in her charade of caring about me by questioning the Monsean guard on my abuse. But I can't even listen.
My mind goes back remembering every odd thing she ever did, finally seeing puzzle pieces fall into place. She refused to tell me and Teddy her name. She refused to show us her face for the first few days. She only came over at night. She convinced Madlen to help Teddy, in the middle of the night. She got us a copy of The Kissing Traditions. Flashes of last night hit me.
*"You little bitch," I spit out looking away from her highness. Before the guard nearest me can put a hand on me, she instructs him not to. She looks like a fool up there, so upset over an accused murder. I fight down every emotion I have by keeping my arms crossed over my chest, hoping that it will keep my pain hidden.
She asks what I'm convicted of. It's a crime that happened two nights ago at midnight. She knows where I was at that time, but she'll never tell. And neither will I. Sparks may be gone, but I'm still not going to give her highness anything to hold against me.
The subject of my alibi comes up. And I'm tired of holding back my hatred. I hook my fingers under my seat as if that will keep me from losing it. I'm ready to jump out of my chair screaming that she is my alibi, but I don't. I want to see her handle that in front of her court. When one judge, the one who has seemed to have an extreme hatred for me, claims it seems as if I really have no alibi, she speaks up.
*"I know his companion's true name." She's going to tell. She's shaking as she stands up. A smirk crosses my face, go ahead, Lady Queen. Tell them just how bad you are.
But she can't. The sound of doors being forced open fills the court room. It takes me a second to see who it is and when I do finally manage a glimpse of him through my uninjured eye, I wish I hadn't. My shame overwhelms me and I can't bear to be in this room anymore. It's Prince Po. I can't even endure the thought of my prince seeing me here on trial for a murder.
*"Saf. Great seas, is that you?" he knows my name? He's still talking, but his words aren't registering. All I can think is how does he know my name? Another puzzle piece clicks in to place, he just called her cousin. She told him everything!
I feel Prince Po throw his arm around me as if we were the dearest of friends. *"Why are you protecting me, man?" Protecting you? I'm not protecting you, though I would if you were ever to need it. I'm distracting myself. *"He was on the roof that night, just as he says, I was with him," Prince Po continues.
"What in Monsea were you doing on a roof in the middle of the night, Lord Prince?" enquires the judge, who doesn't seem to like Prince Po any more than he does me.
This sends the prince out on a tangent of anger, *"My business is none of your business. Nor does it have anything to do with whether Saf is innocent or guilty."
"I was just asking a question, Lord Prince!"
"Ask questions about Saf, not me!
"I will ask what I please to get to the truth of this situation. Now, just how long have you, Prince of Lienid, been friends with this... this sailor boy?" Sailor boy? I have a name. I am a person, you know. I yell at the judge in my mind.
*"Haven't you asked him yet?" No, they don't seem to feel the need in asking me questions. *"We met for the first time that night." Prince Po throws out a string of lies that shocks me in a way that nearly hurts. Here I sit, accused of murder, finding out the queen has been pretending to be a poor girl pretending to be in love with me, and listening to my own prince defend me for something that I didn't do and using information he should have no knowledge of.
*"Am I on trial here?" Po snaps at the judge. *"Perhaps you think the two of us killed that man together." Seems like it.
*"Naturally not, Lord Prince." The judge is losing favor here. *"But you'll understand our hesitation in trusting a Lienid Graceling who claims to have no Grace." What does being Lienid have to do with it? I'm not sure why that part catches my attention.
*"When have I ever claimed to have no Grace?"
*"Not you, of course, Lord Prince. The accused."
Her highness must have left out that detail, because he is completely thrown off guard. Po spins around, probably looking at my eyes realizing what crucial detail he was not told. *"Did you tell these judges that you have no Grace?"
I actually have to talk. I find myself afraid of how I'll sound to him. *"No, Lord Prince. I only claimed not to know my Grace, Lord Prince." Which actually is the truth, despite the fact that nobody ever believes me when I say so.
Prince Po seems satisfied with this answer and turns back to further his argument with the judge. I glare at his little cousin, sitting up front all high and mighty; it makes me sick. She is trying to avoid looking at me, but she can't help herself and keeps peeking back at me. I hate you! I don't care if the Prince does get me out of this mess, I will never forgive you! I yell in my mind as if she could really hear me. I put on my most hopelessly desperate face and bite down on my lip for a moment to make it bleed more just to upset her the next time she looks over here.
*"It's obvious he lied to protect me and my business." I give a small nod, focusing back on the argument at hand. *"He is loyal to a fault."
*"My Prince, I would rather be convicted of a crime I didn't commit than put you in jeopardy." I add to the argument not only hoping it will help my case, but also to show Prince Po I truly am thankful for his help. I would also rather have you not here seeing me on trial for this.
My comment doesn't help though, *"He is proud of lying!" This must infuriate Prince Po, he jumps back over the gate that separates me from the rest of the court room and interrogates the judge angrily.
*"What is your problem? Do you doubt the truth of my testimony?"
*"Not at all, Lord Prince."
*"Then you acknowledge that he must be innocent; but still, you can't let it go. Why don't you like him? Is it because he's Graced? Or might it be because he's Lienid."
*"He's a funny sort of Lienid," the judge grumbles. I nearly jump out of my seat. How dare he say that? He might as well have said I'm not Lienid. I am! Can't he see my rings? My ears? I resist the urge to start yelling right up there with Prince Po.
But Po is even more upset than before and is handling my argument just fine, defending me as if I were his own brother. *"To your eyes, perhaps! But he would not be wearing those rings or that gold in his ears if the Lienid didn't consider him Lienid. Many Lienid look just like him. While your Monsean king was murdering people indiscriminately, our Lienid king was opening his arms to Gracelings seeking freedom. A Lienid is the reason your queen is alive today. Her mother has a stronger mind than any of you." This argument seems to be getting off topic, but who am I to question a prince that is defending me in open court? *"Your Monsean king killed my father's Lienid sister. Your own queen is half Lienid! Your Monsean witness is the one who's a criminal liar!" When he points to a man in the front row even I am caught off guard. How does he know who the witness is and I don't?
I'm not able to wonder too long because the queen pulls everyone's attention back to herself, *"Arrest the witness. And release the accused from the hold. He's free to go." I let out a sigh of relief and astonishment; those are words I wasn't expecting to hear at the beginning of this trial. But I catch my sigh as the queen is reminded that I broke the arm of one of her beloved guard members. After a very brief debate, I am sentenced to the injuries I have already sustained. And if it hadn't been the queen who ordered it, I would have been thankful.
I prepare myself for seeing Bren, who I noticed was sitting behind me when I turned to see the prince bursting into the court room. She told me once not to trust "that girl", she won't even give you her name, she warned. But I didn't listen. Now when I finally turn to face my sister, she isn't showing a hint of satisfaction from that previous insight. Instead she has on a wide-eyed, saddened expression and all she says is "Saf," as she reaches out to comfort me.
Before I can take her hand to reassure her that I know she's here, or even acknowledge her gesture, I see Prince Po marching towards us. All this is too much. How could she do this to me? How could she tell him everything?! Despite my frustration, I know I have to act the part that her highness has so generously fabricated.
"Po!" I say in the same way I would to a friend; the same way I would have said it to Sparks. I know he is coming to retrieve me for her.
Before he gets any closer, I give Bren a quick, tight hug and whisper in her ear, "Tell him." I'm not sure she heard me, however, because she doesn't make any attempt to leave. Po puts his arm around my shoulder after I've straightened out and smiles at me, then my sister.
"Oh, Saf, you must meet my cousin. I'm sure she would like to apologize for this whole misunderstanding." Not true, but I would rather cut out my own tongue than even consider calling the Lienid prince a liar. Even if he is. I glance back at Bren before we leave and mouth the words, "Tell him!" She nods and quickly pushes through the crowd rushing back to the shop to tell Teddy who his little Lucky really is.
We weave through the clusters of people who gawk at the Lienid price who is roaming around the castle with the likes of me. "They sure roughed you up, didn't they?" I suddenly become aware of my ratty clothes that are even more depressing now that they are smeared with blood and torn. I self-consciously push up my sleeve that has ripped loose of the rest of my jacket and wipe the still flowing blood away from my mouth, ashamed to be in such a state in front of my Prince.
"Yes, Prince Po. But you should see the other guys." Make a joke, at a time like this? Stupid.
He laughs, "I saw some of the guard; I was impressed." Despite this exchange I'm sure he can tell how angry I am. He makes a point to not mention his cousin; he refuses to take his arm off me; he drags me up numerous flights of stairs and pulls me sharply around corners: left, right, left, left, right, until I'm about to lose track of all the turns we make. When we enter the fourth empty hall way, he shoves me into the wall and holds me in place by my neck. "You so much as lay a hand on her and I'll kill you. Even if you think there's no way I could know, you're wrong, I will. Do you understand me?"
Normally this is where I'd make some type of crude, sarcastic comment; but instead I nod meaningfully, "Yes, Lord Prince. I will not ever touch her." He starts walking again without another word and I follow a few steps behind him. I begin glancing down every hall we cross and in every room we pass. If I can't hit her majesty, I'll just take my anger out on the next person we come by. But oddly we see no one at all on the rest of our journey.
I hate you. How could you? You played me! I rehearse what I'll say to her in my head, hoping to figure out the most damaging speech possible. But nothing seems harsh enough. It's not fair that I can't hit her. But yet I know even if I hadn't promise Prince Po I wouldn't, I'm not sure I could bring myself to do such a thing. I'm a thief, nothing more, and more importantly nothing less.
"Wait here," he slams the door behind him. Glancing around the room, I notice the row of wide, open framed windows on the far wall. I walk over to them and peer down. Sparks wouldn't have these in her rooms. She wouldn't even be able to get near them without panicking. But that was probably another lie in her selfish little act. For a moment I consider just leaping out one of them. That would be quite a surprise for her. But the thought of what Po would think of that, makes me walk back to the center of the room.
~theeShadyLady~
A/N- * signifies a direct quote from Bitterblue written by Kristin Cashore. I only used it on dialogue because I didn't want to mess up the scene. 100% of the credit for any directly quoted phrases goes to Kristin Cashore.