A/N: This all started from me misunderstanding the White Day illustration, and spiraled out of control from there. I would tell you this won't be epic and that I don't have an entire backstory and plot worked out... but it would be a lie. And so, I hope you like café AUs. Evidently, I really do. I can't think of anything to warn you about. And I'll say it now—no one is genderswapped. The main pairing is Yuuri/Wolfram, but you can expect some implied (at least) pairings on the side later. Also, I've worked at a coffee shop before, but I don't know the first thing about pastries, so please go easy on me.
This story as a whole is heavily based on the novels. All similarities to the writing are completely intentional as homages to Takabayashi Tomo.
Enjoy!
Devil's Food
Chapter One: A Shot of Espresso
Yuuri didn't want to apply for the job. He really didn't. But the number one rule of the Shibuya household was: never attempt to defy neither will nor whim of Shibuya Miko. As a pre-teen, Yuuri himself had attempted many a time to go against this rule which his older brother had informed him of in a harsh, secretive whisper at a very young age. He had learned. Oh, he had learned. An attempt of defiance had never left him with anything but extra scars on his pride on top of the consequences of whatever else his mother's command had entailed.
It was really only for that reason that, when the enthusiastic woman had come bursting through the front door one day with her arms full of carefully wrapped confectionaries, babbling full-speed about the charming smile of the man behind the counter (he had been positively dashing, by her account), he had reluctantly filled out the job application she had pushed into his hands. Working at what was, according to Jennifer, a 'lovely little coffee and cake shop' was not at all suitable for a baseball boy like himself, in Yuuri's opinion. Sure, there would be up-sides to getting the job: he'd be sure to see a lot of cute female customers, and the income wouldn't hurt. As a matter of fact, maybe he would finally be able to afford those rare, vintage baseball cards he'd longed for… In short, Yuuri was conflicted as to whether or not he actually wanted the job, but his will didn't weigh particularly heavily in the application process.
On his walk over to the interview, he decided to accept the job if offered, provided that the uniform did not include pink or pastel in any form. He'd never hear the end of it if one of his classmates saw, and his name alone was more than enough material for uncreative bullies to work with if you asked him. As it was, he'd already had to fight with his mother not to wear a soft purple dress shirt to the interview, and he'd only been able to talk her out of it by pointing out that white was more professional (as if he actually wanted the job, hah). Yuuri permitted himself a long, self-suffering sigh, since no one else was even around to hear. It was bright and early in the morning, after all, and he was just strolling down the little side street the Shibuya residence was on. The cursed café just so happened to be walking distance from his house, because some force above hated Shibuya Yuuri, fiercely. It had made it all but inevitable that his mother would stop in, and all the more difficult to dissuade her from the idea of how perfect of a job it would be for him. Sure, if he were a girl who wanted to parade around in a frilly dress serving coffee and cakes, or something.
He just needed to get the interview over with, and then he could go back to the world of playing baseball under the shining sun that he was familiar with and comfortable in. And when he arrived at the address Jennifer had written down for him in her bubbly handwriting, this conviction was only reaffirmed. A classy place like this would never hire some unrefined high schooler like him, anyways. The door was styled with swooping embellishments, a sign hanging over the glass window pane declaring the store "Open" in cursive text. And above that rested a large plaque shining in gold with the café's name: Devil's Food. Every corner of the building somehow managed to radiate affluence, with small touches added to the usual furnishings of the other stores lining the street.
Yuuri took the sight in with his already unusually large black eyes opened wide in amazement. How had their little neighborhood managed to attract such a fancy place? And why did his mother ever think they'd hire him? The thought of just going in was embarrassing enough, and he didn't know anymore whether or not to be grateful that Jennifer had insisted on going back to hand in his completed application herself. He nervously scratched the back of his neck, feeling awkward as he approached the door.
Just as he'd finally mustered up the willpower to turn the slender golden door handle, an enraged shout came through the door as it opened. "…ridiculous! I will not be caught dead in this!"
The door was already well on its way to being open by then, and it was too late for poor Yuuri to back out and make a run for it. He didn't find that quite so regretful once he'd stepped in, however, because standing there in the middle of the café floor was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. Even though her face was twisted into an expression of rage, it only meant that her cheeks were flushed a charming red, and her green eyes were vibrant like none he'd seen before. To be fair, his face was probably inflamed in a similar way too by now, as his eyes drifted down to the rather short… was that a French maid uniform she was wearing!? The poor boy's mouth was left opening and closing awkwardly in silence, making him look somewhat like a gaping fish. It would only figure that when he met a gorgeous girl, he'd immediately made a fool of himself—but he hadn't even thought far enough to realize that.
"See, Wolfram?" A woman off to the side slightly whom Yuuri had failed to notice previously was speaking. She had shockingly bright red hair, tied back into a ponytail that swung back and forth as she talked animatedly. "Just as my hypothesis predicted, with this outfit, we can use your appearance to reel in regular male customers! And you'll all have me to thank when the profits come pouring in."
The girl—Wolfram, that woman had called her, what an unusual name—only looked more enraged at that, and more than a little mortified, too. She looked about ready to murder Yuuri, as a matter of fact. A strangled squeak was all he could manage, but at the very least he wasn't gaping any more.
"Like I told you, Anissina," she spat out, turning back towards the other person, "I absolutely refuse to dress like a girl!"
Anissina, as she was addressed, shook her head sadly, as if lamenting the foolishness of the rest of the world. "It's a shame! You've already got Conrart here to draw in the female customer base, as well as the array of girly confectionaries. If you had a blonde beauty in a maid outfit, the men would be lined up around the corner, fighting to get in!"
While Yuuri's brain was still desperately struggling to catch up with the conversation (wait, dress… like a girl?), a third party chuckled from somewhere behind the door, which he hadn't managed to shut behind him yet. Sidestepping around the door and letting it slide shut at last, the shell-shocked teen turned to see who else was in this crazy establishment. The man behind the counter was young and handsome, and currently wearing a very becoming amused smile. Well, and a prim and proper white button-up shirt with a black vest and bow-tie. He was wearing that too, naturally.
What really surprised Yuuri about the man was the look of recognition that crossed his face as he saw their customer for the first time.
"Yuuri!" he called out warmly, still smiling. "That's right, your interview was today, wasn't it?"
"Eh!?" said boy called out in shock, hearing a stranger address him by name before he'd even introduced himself. What he didn't realize at first was that the beautiful gi—person, he wasn't quite certain anymore, had the same reaction, and they were both now staring at the man in confused dismay. "How do you know my name!?"
"What do you mean, interview!?" the blonde shouted at the same time, tapping her… their foot. Yuuri was going to avoid thinking about said person's gender until he absolutely had to.
Conrart was completely unfazed by both outbursts. "Your mother showed me photos of you when we talked the other day, Yuuri," he explained calmly. "And Wolfram, I told you that we had someone interviewing today."
A drawn-out groan was the only answer Yuuri could manage. Of course, his mom had to humiliate him before he could even meet his potential future employer. She had probably shown him the baby photos from when she'd forced him into frilly dresses, too. There was a reason she carried around multiple sets with her, after all, with digital back-ups on her cellphone.
Beside him, Wolfram laughed in what Yuuri could only call a malicious fashion. It made him wince. "I don't see the point in that," he scoffed (and now that Yuuri heard his voice properly, he had to admit that this was a boy, which really made him wince), "he's clearly just a gaping fool. I refuse to work with someone like this."
"Hey!" Yuuri cried indignantly before he could stop himself, although the anger turned into a confused pile of feelings he didn't want to even attempt to label when he turned back to look at Wolfram, short maid dress and all. "You… can't say that about someone you've only just met," he finished lamely, eyes opting for the tiles of the floor as a safer resting place.
"Wolfram," Conrart interrupted before the blonde could unleash another harsh insult. "As you already know, the decision of whom to hire is one that will be made between Gwendal and I."
The boy only looked defeated for a second before he smirked, his determination renewed. "That's fine," he retorted. "I can just have a talk with Elder Brother myself."
From behind them all, Anissina snorted. Wolfram whipped his head back towards her, immediately looking offended before she'd even spoken.
"A surprisingly ingenious idea," she said around a smirk. "Old Gwendal will be sure to listen to you if you go back there and flutter your eyelashes at him in that frilly thing."
Wolfram gritted his teeth, his eyebrow twitching and his face burning scarlet. "I'll change first!" he shouted, stomping away and throwing open the door behind the counter. He was gone with a loud huff before anyone could say anything. Yuuri found himself staring at the door for a second after it closed with a thud behind him. It really was awfully unfair that the most attractive person he'd met would have to happen to be a boy in a skirt. Why did that have to happen to him twice in one life time?
"I think I'll go have a word with Gwendal myself, first," the redhead said with a smile, heading back there herself after the storm of fury had passed. She nodded at Yuuri and Conrart before disappearing into the back rooms.
"I'm sorry about that," Conrart smiled apologetically, stepping out from behind the counter and extending a hand towards the still bewildered high schooler. "My name's Conrart Weller. I'm the… co-owner, I suppose."
He… supposed? Everyone working here seemed to be a bit unusual. Yuuri smiled at the man nonetheless, shaking his hand with as much vigor as he could muster up. "Nice to meet you, Conrad—Conrart," he quickly corrected after stumbling on the name, looking sheepish.
As usual, the man seemed just as serene as before the mistake had been made. "I understand. I have some other friends who also find 'Conrart' to be a bit of a mouthful. Please, use whichever is easier for you."
He felt a little bad, but Yuuri was grateful. Even though he had his doubts about whether or not he even wanted to be hired at this point, it would have been a pain having to learn to get that 'rart' sound out correctly each time. "Thanks, Conrad!" he said with a sincere smile, already feeling some sort of kinship with this guy. He figured he must be the 'charming, dashing' man his mother had been raving about. Even as a fellow guy, he could see what she meant. He gave the impression that if he were an actor, he'd be cast to play a soldier or a knight in some period film about medieval Europe. And now that he thought of it, why did this shop seem to be full of foreigners? It probably wouldn't be proper to ask. He awkwardly withdrew his hand a moment later than would have been appropriate, groaning to himself about making a terrible first impression.
"Now, if you'll take a seat," Conrad gestured to one of the many black tables lined up across the floor, "I think that now would be a fine time to begin the interview."
"Right, right!" Yuuri rushed over to stiffly situate himself on the spindly chair, which was quite aesthetically appealing but not exactly ideal for comfort. He straightened his back as rigidly as possible, nervousness about his first job interview starting to phase back in over all the shock and embarrassment from what he had dubbed the 'maid uniform incident.'
"So, Yuuri," Conrad began as he slid smoothly into the seat across from him, "I've heard lots of good things about you from Jennifer…"
The harsh sound of the door slamming against the wall interrupted him. Standing in the vacant doorway was none other than Wolfram, his brows furrowed in rage again as his eyes searched the room.
"Where is that witch?" he seethed.
Yuuri just blinked. He was now wearing a top and vest a lot like Conrad's. Why he was furious again was totally beyond him. Surely the boy wasn't able to constantly be this angry. It would be a shame, too, since even sans maid outfit, his face was really pretty enough that he was certain to have a killer smile.
"I don't seem to recall allowing any witches into the shop," Conrad answered with a smile that said that he very well knew whom the boy meant.
Wolfram practically growled before vaulting right over the counter, one palm on the glass holding his weight as he hurtled across. He might be pretty good if he played baseball, Yuuri mused absently. The ease of the movement implied some pretty impressive athletic ability. It was only once the baseball thought had passed that he realized that the blonde was also wearing a pair of black shorts and white thigh-high socks. He was suitably stunned by the revelation for the next moment. Conrad, however, was chuckling.
"What else would you call Anissina, then?" the beautiful boy grumbled, making his way over. He seemed to have reluctantly accepted that the woman was not to be found.
"A shrewd business woman," Conrad answered without missing a beat.
Wolfram huffed, his hands poised over his hips. "So you're going to exploit your own little brother for profit?"
Even such a harsh accusation didn't make the smile falter from the man's face. Yuuri wasn't sure if he should be impressed or creeped out by that; in all honesty, he was internally freaking out over the idea of the two being brothers. They didn't look at all alike! "From what I could see, no one forced you into either of those outfits," Conrad interrupted the boy's confused thoughts.
His cheeks now a vibrant red, the younger brother stomped his foot, crossing his arms over his chest indignantly. "She got rid of the pants that I had before," he snapped. "It was either these or nothing!"
Conrad only laughed quietly. "Ah, but you agreed to put on the dress of your own volition, did you not?"
Yuuri was fearing for his own life, even as a mere bystander, just from the sheer amount of rage Wolfram responded with. "That was… that was…" The blonde's hands moved to his side, curling into fists as he refused to meet anyone's gaze. "…In exchange for something. It was an acceptable loss."
"I see," the elder brother nodded sagely. "In any case, I'm trying to give Yuuri here a proper job interview."
Not exactly wanting to be the center of attention, Yuuri laughed awkwardly. "D- don't worry about it," he stuttered, although he wasn't quite sure what 'it' was or who shouldn't worry about said 'it.'
Wolfram scoffed and swept down into one of the seats at the table. He didn't say anything.
Conrad looked a little surprised. "Alright, then," he continued when he saw that no one else would. "I'm glad you've decided to give him a chance. Did Gwendal tell you to?"
"Look," Wolfram spat out angrily, lifting a finger to point at poor Yuuri, who felt suitably hounded and accused. "It isn't that I'm giving him a chance! When I thought about it, I realized that there could just be even worse losers out there that you could manage to find and hire. That's all."
"Hey!" Yuuri yelled before he could think things through, and this time there wasn't anything to slow down the barrage of words that followed. "I've hardly said three words since I've come in here today! How can you go around just calling a guy you've only met a few minutes ago a loser!? What about that is fair!?"
"The very fact that you've only stammered before now is enough for me to tell what a spineless wimp you are," the blonde replied, turning his face away as if offended at the sight of the other teen.
Yuuri's strangled cry of protest was interrupted by Conrad's polite cough. "Now, Wolfram," he said patiently, "Yuuri's right. And if you're only going to get in the way, I'll have to ask you to stay out of this."
Although he grumbled, Wolfram just silently turned his glare on Yuuri. He gulped under the weight of the stare.
"Now, Yuuri," Conrad attempted to start again, pleasantly surprised with his younger brother's silence. "As I was saying, I've heard a lot of good things about you. And…"
It had started a little bit after Conrad had started talking. Yuuri was sure by now that the floor was shaking underneath his feet, although at first he wrote it off as simply his own feet shaking because he was nervous and under too much stress from this odd environment. But no, there was no longer any doubt of that as there came a single, bigger tremor and what Yuuri could swear was the sound of an explosion and a man's pained scream. No one else seemed to notice it, but the boy couldn't help but jump to his feet when he heard that. Much to his surprise, Wolfram and Conrad both shook their heads at him in silence, the latter reaching out a hand in a gesture to sit back down.
"It's… best not to interfere," Conrad said slowly, casting a glance behind him almost nervously.
"But—" Yuuri opened his mouth to speak before the sound of the door banging open interrupted him. Before anyone could do anything, Anissina was running right by them in a flash of red.
"You'll thank me later, once Mr. Bakes-Cakes-Perfectly-Every-Time is perfected!" she hollered as she made a dramatic exit, disappearing down the street.
Yuuri blinked once, twice, and then sat down.
A moment passed before Wolfram paled, horror slowly taking over his expression. "It can't be…!" he muttered, as if to himself, before standing up, using the table for balance. Even Conrad looked vaguely concerned as the boy then sprinted to the back room. Yuuri had already given up on understanding what was going on.
With a shrug, Conrad turned back to him. He looked thoroughly apologetic for a moment before smiling again. It almost looked mischievous. Yuuri sat up straighter in his chair, hoping he hadn't done something terribly wrong without realizing it.
"I realize this is a tad bit unconventional for a job interview," the man stated evenly, although his smile remained evident in his eyes. "However, I just have one question for you."
Okay, now Yuuri was beyond nervous. His palms felt sweaty as he gripped his knees, mind racing. Was it some sort of pass or fail test? Panicking a little, he ran over the little bit of knowledge he had gained in his fifteen years about coffee and cake. For example, when you brew coffee, you have to make sure there's water or nothing will come out, or that there are beans or grinds in there, because otherwise just water will come out. Yuuri had a feeling that wasn't going to be the question though. "Y, yes?" he managed to squeak out while his mind worked fervently to recall any more minutia he'd picked up relating to this sort of thing. Always smile when you greet the customer…?
"Why," Conrad said the word slowly, with a dramatic pause afterwards. Or at least, the pause seemed very dramatic to Yuuri, who could hear an epic gong resounding in his head, already announcing his doom. If he looked more closely, however, he might have noticed that the ends of Conrad's lips were upturned, and he was shaking slightly from barely contained laughter. "Was six… afraid of seven?"
If his chair had not been the kind attached to the floor firmly in its place, Yuuri certainly would have fallen to the floor and taken the chair right along with him. Instead, he merely gaped at the store's co-owner, wondering how he possibly could have heard that right. Had he really asked him one of the lamest jokes of all time, as an interview question? And the worst part was that he actually looked serious.
"Um," Yuuri worked his mouth in silence for a while, debating coming up with a ridiculous new answer just in case it was a trick question. "Because…" His face heated just at the idea of how embarrassingly bad the joke he was completing was, but he decided to force the words out anyways. "…Because seven ate nine?" he laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head with a hand.
Conrad outright chuckled before reaching his arm out across the table and patting Yuuri on the shoulder. "Very good," he punctuated the statement with a nod before continuing, "You're hired."
"Ehhh!?" Yuuri shouted in downright shock, without even realizing that Wolfram, who had re-entered just in time to hear the verdict, paralleled his response almost exactly.
The smiling man managed to have no reaction whatsoever to the confused yelling. "I have faith that you're the right person for this job, Yuuri," he said, sounding completely sincere.
Once he'd gathered his wits about him enough to respond properly, Yuuri scowled. "Did my mother…" he trailed off, mumbling.
Conrad shook his head. "Your mother is a wonderfully strong woman," he answered thoughtfully. "And I could tell right away that she's raised a boy who would make a fine employee for our establishment. I'm sure that you'll pick up the skills needed quite quickly."
Feeling awkward, Yuuri scratched absently at the side of his head. Somehow, this guy whom he had just met today was acting like his long lost relative. It felt kind of nice in that distant way it always did when an adult complimented him, which didn't happen all too often excluding his overly affectionate mother, but it also deeply confused the poor boy. "Eh, heh…" he laughed nervously, "Thanks?"
The exchange was interrupted by two pale fists plunging down to land with a thud on the tabletop. Wolfram was practically snarling, his brows down-turned at a harsh angle over his deep green eyes. "You can't be serious," he spat out, turning his accusatory glare to his elder brother.
For his part, Conrad merely dropped the smile, looking totally neutral. "I am," he nodded. "And I expect you to work with him, and be cooperative, showing him the ropes."
Wolfram huffed, his gaze drifting to Yuuri. Only a second passed before he started to look oddly triumphant, and declared, "We'll see how long he can last!" before storming off again.
"Well, Yuuri," Conrad smiled as he turned back to his newest employee with the disruption gone. "Can you start tomorrow, after school?"
That soon!? Yuuri jumped a little in his seat, but nodded. He could already hear his mother's cry of delight at the news. He shivered.
"Great!"
Conrad stood up and started walking off towards the back room, all the while Yuuri, still stunned, merely sat there, hardly even thinking whether to follow or walk out. He was tempted to give up thinking in general, because it sure didn't help him make any sense of this weird place and the people within it (that lady from before didn't even seem to work here).
A polite cough shook him enough to ground him back in reality somewhat. "If you'll follow me, I can find you a uniform."
"Ah, right! Of course!" Yuuri practically shouted as he jumped up, making haste to follow after Conrad.
When he stepped in after the taller man into the back room, he found that it was actually a little hallway with a few branches leading into different rooms. There was a bathroom, he noted with some relief, glad he wouldn't have to run somewhere nearby or something. He'd never been sure how that worked for employees in places without public restrooms. One of the other doors was what he assumed to be the kitchen area, what with the signature double white doors with circular windows on each. He noted with some concern and dismay that a small stream of smoke was pouring out from the small gap between the doors. Within, he could see Wolfram's back, his shoulders slumped down in what appeared to be dismay. A really tall and broad-shouldered man was standing by him, reaching out a hand as if wanting to comfort him but hesitating. He was in a chef's garb, although the loose (the word 'floofy' entered Yuuri's mind at the sight) white fabric didn't suit him at all. It looked like he was talking, though, and Yuuri could almost hear… he leaned a little closer to the opening.
"…okay, really. I'll bake one for you tomorrow. With extra vanilla frosting," was what Yuuri could swear he heard the gruff, low voice of the man within saying. He blinked.
Conrad turned from the third doorway to peer curiously at the very distracted Yuuri, who was casting an owlish gaze towards the kitchen still. Shrugging, he withdrew one of the customary uniforms he'd stowed away there (with the more traditional long pants, not the racier version Wolfram was now sporting). "From what your mother told me, this size should be fine," he said with a wide smile as he held out the clothes, hoping it would snap back his attention.
As expected, Yuuri jumped and accepted the uniform sheepishly. He looked thoroughly ashamed, as a matter of fact. "Yeesh, what didn't my mother tell you?"
Conrad didn't answer. He only smiled a bit wider. Yuuri hadn't even started working yet, and he already wanted to just crawl under a rock and stay there.