Summary: It all starts with a Yule Ball. Ron gets jealous quite a bit. But everything turns out good in the end. Sort of. Not really. Kind of. I don't know.
Why Jo Should Give Us A HummerIt all began with a Yule Ball. Hermione Granger went with the world famous Victor Krum, and of course Ron was very jealous. Harry made fun of him for this constantly. It was rather amusing to see Ron turn different shades of red, all which clashed with his hair.
Ron loved Hermione but at the moment she was in love with Krum. So Ron was really mad. Harry still laughed.
But after the Yule Ball Hermione dumped that loser because he was a loser because he looked like a duck. Not that ducks are bad. But Hermione did not like kissing someone with a duckbill instead of a mouth.
After that, of course, predictably, Ron and Hermione ran off and got married. Harry was there. He was the best man, and Ginny was the brides made. Harry was laughing the whole time. Ron couldn't see though because his back was to Harry. Hermione saw. She cursed his shoes. They made his feet tickle. Harry stopped laughing at Ron and concentrated on not laughing at his stupid, stupid feet. He also cursed Hermione and her amazingness at spells and hexes and such.
After the wedding Ron and Hermione had many, many kids. Wanting to be creative, they had all of the kids have names that begin with the letter Q. Eight of the kids were tall and freckly with bright red hair. Two of them had bushy brown hair and buckteeth.
The oldest of the children was Quill. He was a boy who liked to paint. And eat chocolate frogs. Then there was Quinny. She was really quiet. Why she she quiet, no one knew. But Fred and George had a hunch that she were going to blow up the world some day. Then there was Quimantha. She was a loser and really really short. No taller than four feet six inches. Quinny would sit on her and laugh. It was rather amusing. Quimmy and Queldon came next. They were hyper and twins. Also the ones with bushy brown hair. Which made no sense. Because they acted more like Fred and George, who were very pleased to find that out. Quannon was after then and she liked Quidditch a lot. But no one else did so she was forced to play with the trees. Then there was Quir Quieldsalot. He had this weird idea in his head that he was going to take over China one day. Then there was Quaquers, Quilliam, and Quoe. Triplets. Hermione wanted to kill Ron after giving birth three times in a row. He hid behind the healer. Then there was the accident child, Quack.
Last but not least was Lola. The eleventh child. But Lola was different than all of the others. She had black hair. Now, some might think that she was the black sheep. But she wasn't. Because there was no logical explanation to why Lola had black hair. Well there was one and it was that she was Harry's child! Which she was. Ron was very mad at this.
After surviving twenty three years with Voldemort on this tail, Ron killed him in a second. Everyone found this very ironic. But Ron didn't get arrested because they all though Harry died from stress.
Hermione, Ron, and the eleven kids went to Harry's funeral. Hermione was accused of being a home wrecker. Which in a way she was. But it wasn't really a home she wrecked. Just one of her best friends lives. She shrugged it off.
Ron didn't notice that Lola had black hair until thirteen years into the poor girls life. No one blamed him though. Eleven kids. That was a lot! Which is why Lola was thirteen at her biological dad's funeral. There she met Neville's little boy, Leo Longbottom.
"You're Harry's daughter!" Leo exclaimed when he first saw her.
She crossed her arms and said, "How do you know?"
"You're hair. It's a mess. It doesn't stay flat at all! And it's black. It's obviously Harry's hair." Lola agreed. She almost shaved her head once but her mum caught her and put it in braids instead.
"And you're the home wrecker's daughter!"
Once more, Lola asked how he knew.
"You have her eyes."
"My eyes are brown."
"So?"
"Everyone has brown eyes!"
"Yes, but, they're your mothers!"
Lola agreed with a shrug then said, "Would you like to get a milkshake?"
Leo agreed. They went out to Hogsmade, got a milkshake, and never went back home. Hermione was a grandma at thirty six. Harry was a dead grandpa. Ron and all of his kids died in an electrical accident but Hermione was at Ginny's eating pie and Lola was of course off with Leo.
Like her mother, Lola had many, many kids. Again like her mother, she had them all have names that started with the same letter. U.
Eventually they all died in a freak Quidditch accident.
This all leads to Jo giving us a Hummer because she loves Ron and Hermione together ever since the Yule Ball. It all makes sense. Happy Birthday to us!
A/n: Alright, I know that was completely random and everything but I decided to stay up later than I really wanted to and me and mi amiga started thinking of ways on how to get a Hummer. And it ended up like this. Strange I know. Random, totally and completely. I normally don't write like this so don't think all of my other stories are that insane. They're not. And not so many people die. I swear this was totally random.
Um, review if you'd like. It doesn't matter. It was just a one-shot. A random one-shot.
I'm done ranting now.
-Snuffles