Small A/N: Kay, so I have written this up to at least 3 chapters. But I wanna see if this is to any interest to anyone. If it is, then I'll begin writing on from those 3 chapters. Thanks for the support :)
I don't own Glee... only Nicole. She's my character. :)
"The Failed Daughter"
I awoke to the important Author's Note at the beginning and hope you read it.
Anyway,
The beeping of my alarm clock made me feel even more tired then actually waking up my self. It's just one way that remind you that you're actually obligated to get up and do what you're committed to. It reminds you that waking up in the morning in the real world as some trainee in some important corporate building, that your rich father got you into under your own will. Some apprenticeship that makes your parents feel proud of what their daughter is doing as she's told. It's really something to feel accomplished about.
There are two things parents do to control their children's lives. Either do what their told and earn the child of the year award in their hearts or let their kids figure out what they want to do for them, and let them decide what they have in interest for the rest of their life. My parents are the first option.
Ever since I entered grade ten my parents have been on my back trying to get myself on track for my so called future. When in that time, I was only trying to figure my self out, and see if my parents would really accept what I have coming for them. If I told them anything, I'd be on the streets in ten seconds flat. No way would they accept who I am. Not in Ohio. The only say I have in my life is that I wanted to play soccer when I couldn't even dribble or even kick the ball properly. And looking back, that's the only happiness they have given me;theonlyfreedom. Only last month I truly came to terms of who I really was, and was I balling my eyes out? Yeah sure you could call it that. I was also scowled at and frowned upon, and most of all, not even talked to by my own father.
I pounded down on my alarm clock and rose to my feet and shuffled my way to my mirror. I mentally screamed to myself when I saw my hair. It looked as if your favorite uncle came over and scuffed up your hair while joking about your long lost Mexican boyfriend that he's never met. True story, and trust me, it was very surprising, even for me. Where do they come up with it all, and how?
Fifteen minutes and straightened hair later, I find my self my clothes and go into the kitchen.
My father is sitting at the table with his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose and his dusty brown hair not combed and shooting out in all directions. He's alone this morning, and realizing it is Monday, and Nicole is at school. I was definitely not used to this 'no school' thing. Nicole would usually be eating her cereal and talking animatedly to our father and I see that smile that curves onto his lips that he can't even force with me in the same room. Not once has he lifted his head up from his darn newspaper to even take a glance at his daughter, his green eyes were bored into the print.
Crossing the room around the bar, and into the cupboard, I grabbed myself a bowl and some cereal and poured in the bowl, getting my milk and sat myself down at the bar beside where my dad was situated. Before I could take my first bite my mother comes in, beaming from ear to ear.
"Morning!" My mother comes into the room and directly to my father who acknowledges and receives a peck on the cheek. Once she rose from him, she noticed me. "Hello, Santana."
"Hi." I spoke awkwardly. Catching the scowl on her face and I retreat to my now favorite bowl of cereal.
"When do you begin." She snubbed. It was more a statement then a question. She never cared where I truly was. She appreciated it more when I'm out of the house. 'WhereIbelong' I imagined her thinking.
"In a few. I start at nine." I said, with my head still lowered.
"Sit up straight." She demanded. "That's no way a lady of business should be seen."
"Sorry," I said, barely above a whisper.
"What was that? I can't here you." She interjected. "Get moving the traffic is rough." Ignoring her first question.
"I have an entire hour and a half before my orientation starts." My mother did not look pleased.
"Yes, that's true. Get to work" she said. "The traffic is rough." She repeated again with more force in each word.
"You're serious?" I spoke, raising my voice. "Please, mother. You're being unreasonable!"
"Don't speak to your mother like that." My father defended, finally able to speak toward me, and earning a monstrous grin from my mother; a new found rage sore through me.
"Oh, now you decide to speak a word to me? Was it worth it, father? Was everything you done for me ever good enough?" I clarify on the bridge of tears. "Is anything I do for you two good enough? I don't understand. Why is Nicole any better? Why is everything she does so perfect for you guys? I try every single day and every single year through high school to make you happy for me. But I get nothing. I get slapped in the face and thrown into a career I have absolutely no say in and you treat me like a piece of garbage! And you know what? I'm done." I sighed, taking a deep breathe before I continued.
"I even opened up to you. Probably the most difficult thing I have ever done and I get removed from your hearts entirely, even as if I even existed there ever in my life time. Other people can accept this. Uncle Ray can accept that I'm gay and so can Nicole. Why can't you? Your own daughter. Please. Just give me an answer." My voice now down on a normal octave, pleading.
It was silent for minutes. We all just stood there, both of my parents avoiding my gaze I was trying to connect. Cowards. They both seemed interested in the newspaper or the table top, neither decided to catch my eyes with theirs. I was crumbling down further by the second and it all turned too much. My tears dropped from my chin and splashed to the ground below. Trying once more, but failing I shook my head.
"Okay. I get it." I didn't get it. My voice was barely heard.
I quickly grabbed my keys off the counter and closed the door behind me. My cereal was left untouched.
I was going anywhere but the work where I had promised my father. I didn't decide on where I was going. All I could think about was how unlucky I was. I heard stories, and movies of everything being okay, everything that goes right. It's only when you actually experience it, you realize, it's only a movie, and this is real life. You'd think when people come out to the people you think would love you for who you are, is the easiest thing in the world, but when you confess it in the real world, it's the most heartbreaking phase you'd ever experience. When you think about your own family kicking you out after school when you're twenty three, it's understandable. I mean your old enough to do things on your own, and figure it all out yourself.
Think about this. When finally figure yourself out, and you decide to tell the only people you truly care about what they think, you want them to love you no matter what. It's not always the happy ending you hope for. I think about the parents that get so outraged about their child being gay, they have the nerve to kick them out, and show them that being something they won't change is horrible, and in reality, it's something you can't change. It's just who you are. It's not a cold that you catch from somebody and a week later you get better. It's not a scratch on your arm you get from your cat and it's gone the next day. It's the life style you live with. That you should be proud of, knowing you can live your life no different then anybody else.
Shaking my thoughts, and realizing I ended up driving across the city to Brittany's. The only person I really felt accepted and truly safe was in her house, and in the arms of her family, and her.
I drove onside the curve and got out of my car. Walking up the paved path I trekked up her steps to the door, and knocked and a small blonde woman opened the door with a sincere grin.
"Santana, my goodness, what a surprise!" She greeted, but soon faded. "Aw, sweetie, why are you crying?"
"It's nothing, is Britt home?" My voice was raspy.
"Yes of course. She's upstairs studying." Her face washed with concern.
"Thank you, Mrs. Pierce." I said with a forced smile and ran up the stairs.
I knocked on Brittany's door and heard the pitter patter on the floor through the door. Soon a tall blonde girl peered through the door, and her grin was soon faded. With out warning I was pulled into a hug, just what I needed at that moment. We both stayed like that for a moment until she pulled away and took my hand to sit on her bed.
"K, why are you crying?" She asked. She was the only person who could ever say my name like that.
"I – he. It's all so confusing!" I sobbed, and leaned in and rested my head in the crook of her neck.
"Shhh, it's okay." She soothed, wrapping her arms around my body and waited patiently till she heard my breathing turn normal and light. She gave me a light kiss on my forehead and slowly pulled back to see my face. "Now tell me what happened?"
I took a deep breath and pulled back till I saw the concern in her eyes and thought of exactly how to make proper sentences.
"They hate me." I spoke. "I cracked, B. I've never done that to them before. I yelled at them. I just couldn't take it anymore."
"What did you say?" her voice was soft.
"I – I told them that they treat me like garbage, and that I did probably the most difficult thing ever in my life, and they had nothing to say. I just left." I glanced up, meeting her eyes again.
"San, you have to give them time," She began. "It's not everyday that a family has someone as special as you. They just need to see through that barrier that gives people the wrong perspective. And believe that you're still you, and you're just as special as Nicole, or any other child that's entered this world." She gave me a small smile.
"What if they never do?" I said.
"Then they're both missing out on one very special girl." She beamed at me and gave me her signature smile that I loved.
"Look, if they're even crazy enough to even consider anything terrible, you come back here. We have plenty of room for you here," She explained, and sighed and took my hand in hers. "And I'm sure my mom would love you here. She already considers you as a second daughter."
I chuckled at that because I know it's true. "Thanks Britt," Looking down at our hands clasped together, and smiled for real for the first time today.
"So, what are you dressed up for? The head position at the firm or what?" Brittany commented on my outfit with a smug grin.
"No, I just thought that it was appropriate to dress up for calling out my parents." I said sarcastically returning her grin, which soon turned out to us both bursting out laughing. Once we both calmed down, it was back to the questions.
"What do I do?" I asked back to seriousness again.
"Well, you just shared your flare with your own parents. Who are probably regretting everything they've done to you. I think you should go back." She said, secretly glancing up to see my reaction. She giggled at my jaw dropping at the suggesting.
"Hey!" I nudged her arm playfully. "I'm serious." I said standing up onto my feet still laughing.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry." She apologized.
Regaining my composure, I turned toward her, my back against her dresser. "Are you sure?"
"I'm one hundred percent sure!" she spoke enthusiastically. "Oh! I have something for good luck." She said, jumping up to go to her bedside table, and opened the drawer and pulled out a silver chain with a dove hanging off the end. She turned to me and walked over and took both ends in one hand and gestured with her free hand for me to turn around.
"Hair." She ordered. I didn't see it, but I heard the smirk in her voice. I bunched my dark brown hair into a fist and to the side of my head. She reached around my head and clasped the necklace together. She grabbed both of my shoulders and turned me around. " Perfect. Now go." She smiled bigger this time.
"Thank you so much, Britt Britt." My smile plastered to my mouth. "I'll be back, okay?"
"Okay, San." She said smiling at the combination and pulled me into a crushing hug. "You're going to be fine." She reassured as she whispered in my ear.
I shivered from her breath on my ear and I pulled away this time and turned for her door. I turned one last time to face her, causing her to look up. "You're my best friend, Britt." She smiled at me.
"Me too." She responded lightly, shyly looking away at the actual meaning behind it.
I turned and opened the door and walked down the stairs, and walking past the entrance to the kitchen where Brittany's mom was fixing herself a snack.
"Is everything okay?" She called, and I heard the knife be put down and she rounded the corner to me.
"Yes, thank you. Britt helped me." Brittany's mom nodded.
"It's such a blessing you two have each other." She said sincerely, clearly adoring the friendship we had.
"It is. I actually got to head out though." She nodded. "I'll probably be back again later. Bye Mrs. Pierce." She replied back to me and I smiled and turned around and out the door.
I remember when I first wrote this(in chapter 3) I made Santana's full name something like Sanata Marie Loopiez... my hands were very cold and it was 2am. Don't judge! Haha.
Bare with me and Brittany's not so bubbly attitude. I'll get there. And more Brittana in the next couple chapters.
Reviews always make people happy!