"Johanna, are you alright?"

I force myself to look up at the person who asked me such a stupid question. My whole body shakes with pain as I pull myself off the ground.

"Why even ask Peeta? You already know the answer," I snap at him coldly. Usually, Peeta would flinch at the venom in my voice but I guess having adjoining cells with me for months, he got use to it.

Instead, Peeta just looks at me with pain and pity in his bright blue eyes. Despite the situation, Peeta's eyes stay the sparkling blue they always are. My eyes, that used to be a deep brown turned black over time.

Or that's what Peeta tells me, I wouldn't know, I haven't looked in a mirror in months.

If I had to guess what I looked like it wouldn't be hard. I'm bald, thin, and haunted.

"I know, I'm sorry, I just can't stand this anymore," Peeta says with his head in his hands. Rage rushes through me.

"How can you even say that Lover boy," I spit at him. I see him look up shocked that I brought out the old nickname. "They haven't even touched you! Annie and I are the only ones going through torture," I shriek at Peeta.

Guiltily, Peeta looks down at his body. The only mean thing they do to Peeta is not feed him, which is like Heaven compared to what they do to me. I know that Peeta wants to bring up Katniss and say that not being with her is more torture than anything they could do to him, but how can he say that when he has gone through nothing?

"Johanna, just watching you and Annie come back with the guards is enough torture for me," he says in a broken voice not looking at me. This shocks me; of course Peeta would feel that way. Everything about him is so pure and right. It's a wonder how Katniss isn't in love with him already.

I crawl over to the wall that separates us and put my arm through towards him. Sharing adjoining cells with Peeta has made me soft. I can't help but feel bad for him. I never thought that seeing Annie and I getting tortured would be hard for him.

"Come here."

I watch as Peeta walks over to me leaning against the wall, our shoulders touching through the bars. Its moments like these where Peeta and I need each other to survive this own personal hell of ours.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," I whisper to Peeta. He turns to look at me and actually smiles at me. I'm even more shocked when he laughs quietly. Is Peeta going mad? I just apologized to him and he's smiling and laughing.

"Are you actually apologizing to me," Peeta asks in disbelief. I feel my lips curve up into a smile but stop them. He does have a point, since when do I apologize to anyone, even if they do deserve an apology or not?

I smirk at him shrugging my shoulders. "Don't listen to anything I say to you here, I'm going mad."

Peeta shakes his head, blonde curls wrapping over his forehead. "Don't worry, I'm right behind you." This time I do let myself smile. I can tell Peeta is shocked because he stares at me for a while. I don't let myself smile at all.

"You have a beautiful smile," Peeta says truthfully, "You should smile more often." When my cheeks flush red I see him smirk at me, his blue eyes dancing all over my face.

"What do I have to smile for?"

I watch as Peeta's face constructs back to his own haunted look. It seemed as if he forgot we were even trapped in the capitols evil, corrupt hands. He reaches for my hand and squeezes it.

"We will get out of here Johanna, I promise you that."

"Don't promise me anything. I've gone through enough broken promises and lies." Peeta shakes his head and looks away from me. I almost regret saying what I said to him, being with Peeta makes me second guess all the mean things I do and say.

I remember when my mother would say I would find someone who was the exact opposite of me, someone charming, loving, and hopeful. She said I would grow to love someone who would bring the best out of me. I denied her of course saying I would be better off dead. Now I'm starting to think I was wrong.

Peeta catches my eyes and caress' my cheek. I can't help but lean into his hand and let my eyes close. We don't say anything for a while, we don't need to. I feel myself slipping into sleep but fight against it.

"You should sleep," Peeta says to me watching me fight against it. I suddenly jerk up and realize what I'm doing, holding hands with Peeta. I rip my hands away and go furthest away from him.

"Johanna? You can sleep by me. Come here."

I don't answer just lay on the floor trying to block everything out. How could I be so stupid?

"Come on Jo, we need each other now, more than ever," Peeta says in a broken whisper. I feel my heart break when he says this. It hurts because I know it's true. I need him more than ever.

But I don't want to need him.