I do not own Merlin. Lancelot's Point Of View. The 'You' refers to Merlin.

I Made Up My Mind

By waterrain

I'm not going to let you sacrifice yourself, Merlin.

I watched as you used your magic on Arthur,

He falls and you walk forward,

Your movements did not falter and I'm positive your face is set with pure determination.

I will go instead of you, Merlin.

You will remain alive in this world, Merlin.

I have made up my mind and mentally took a deep breath,

I walked silently as you talk to that old woman,

I'm standing in front of the portal feeling slightly nervous.

I glance back at you,

Your blue eyes wide in horror and shock at me being there in front of the portal,

I briefly smiled at you.

I did not say good bye to you,

For there was no need for words and had a feeling if I said anything that you would use your magic,

That you would throw me back with magic like Arthur,

Then as you planned you would be the one to go.

I walked towards that horrible screaming,

I spread out my arms and in I went into the darkness.

I briefly heard you screaming 'NO' your voice was incredibly loud,

I'm sorry Merlin,

But I couldn't let you sacrifice yourself in the end.

To be honest I would have let Arthur sacrifice himself,

But you care deeply about him and would never allow him to do such a thing.

I ruined your plan of sacrificing yourself, Merlin.

Darkness is all around me it is as if I'm blind,

The feeling of winter clinging to my skin unwilling to leave me,

It chills me to the bones.

I'm still walking forwards never looking back and that screaming seems far away,

My arms fell to my sides no longer spread out.

I hope you do not feel guilty,

You did not force me to walk into the portal,

I made that choice on my own free will.

I could have let you sacrifice yourself,

But then the world would feel empty without you.

I care about you, Merlin.

I care about Gwen, but she loves Arthur and he loves her.

I couldn't help, but wish in the darkest part of my heart that you didn't stop Arthur from sacrificing himself.

Not everyone can be like you, Merlin.

If there were more people like you then the world would be a better place.

Please Review and Thank You. What do you think of my FanFic?

So what are your thoughts on why Lancelot decided to sacrifice himself? Was it because of his promise to Gwen? Was it because of Merlin? Was it a mixture of the two?