The Blossom

Chapter 1: McDouchie Dates Mr. Ed

Meredith was low – very, very low. She burned with shame and embarrassment. This had been one of the worst weeks of her life, and there was no where to hide. Everyone knew.

She admitted to herself that she was looking for a place to hide now, and ducked up the stairs to a surgical gallery. She didn't bother turning on the lights in the gallery, knowing that she was invisible to everyone in the brightly lit theater below if she kept it dark. She, however, could see and hear everything from below very clearly. Several nurses and techs were clearing the operating theater after a major surgery. They talked amongst themselves about how amazing Dr. Shepherd had been. That figured, she thought, they were talking about Derek. Hiding from one mess led her straight back into the other.

She found a seat and leaned her aching head back. Life sucked. The next thing she knew, someone was taking the seat next to her. At least he hadn't turned on the light.

"So – hiding?" Alex drawled in a low voice.

"Not very well apparently," Meredith groused, watching two techs wrap up some equipment and then leave, "My alone time lasted all of thirty seconds."

"Come on, Mer, so you had an awful encounter with the baby boy, Ge. Did you really expect him to satisfy you, when you're still obviously waiting for the flirting with Shepherd to turn into something more? Give me a break. You and I both know you are way out of Ge's league. Anyway, no worries, I consider it a sign of improvement," Alex commented off handedly.

"Alex! What the heck are you talking about? How is this an improvement over anything?" Meredith moaned.

"Mer, you were only a little tipsy, instead of drunk, and at least the inappropriate guy wasn't a stranger or married. That's improvement," Alex said facetiously, but with an edge of bitter truth.

"You're joking?! Now?! Alex, this isn't funny. George has moved out after trash talking me all over the hospital. I've lost him as a friend. Izzie is making my home life hell since she's on George's side, and blames me for everything. Cristina is not even speaking to me any more because George has moved into her flat and is busy bonding with Burke. I've lost both Cristina and Izzie as friends. I don't even know why I did it, Alex, except that I was out of my mind with depression," Meredith said morosely, and then muttered to herself, "And now I get to pay big time – like always."

"Ah, Mer, come on, this'll blow over, you'll see. Besides, you dumped Ge, not the other way around. Far better, if you ask me," Alex said bitterly, and then coughed to try to hide it.

"Oh, Alex, what's happened? You and Iz? You're in here hiding too, aren't you? Alex?" Meredith gasped at the look on his face, made even worse from the macabre glow from the lights below, when he turned towards her.

"Izzie and I are through, Meredith. According to her, I'm not even half a man. I'm not good enough for her. I'm not good enough for anyone. She wants that transplant patient, Denny Duquette. She called me heartless, Mer. Funny that she chose a guy who's really almost heartless to replace me," Alex's beautiful chiseled mouth was turned down with pain and his eyes were devastated.

"I'm so sorry, Alex. I knew things weren't quite right between you, but I was hoping for the best."

Meredith tried to think of what else she could say or do for him, but drew a blank. Hadn't Alex just lost the woman he loved? What had anyone been able to say to her when she'd found out Derek was married? What would have helped when he'd chosen Addison over her?

A burst of anger flamed over her when she thought of Izzie being such a nasty hag to Alex when she dumped him. Surely that hadn't been necessary? Alex, under all the irony and bitter truth, had always been such a good guy to Meredith. He was a genuine sweetie who'd obviously been hammered pretty drastically a few times by life. His gentle heart may be hidden under layers of attitude, but it was still there. He loved Izzie. Why couldn't Izzie see him for who he really was? For that matter, why couldn't Derek see her for what she really was – his soul mate?

Meredith tipped over until her head rested on Alex's shoulder, "Hellish Fate scores ten from me and twenty from you, this week, pal. Look at it this way, I'm the one who's really losing though, right? You're still in the running, with only a few bad weeks. Feel better."

"Oh, yeah? How do you get that, genie eyes?" Alex gamely played along, knowing she hurt as much as him.

"Listen up, my friend, while I count up the loser points. Derek, Addison, Mom, Dad, George, Izzie, Cristina and Bailey loser points for me versus Izzie loser points for you – need I say more? Oh wait, I can say more!" Meredith said shamefacedly, "I was stupid enough to believe that Derek would actually care that I almost got blown up from that stupid bomb in a body cavity two weeks ago. I admit I waited for him for days after he came to see me that night, but he never showed up again."

Alex opened his mouth to reply when he realized Meredith's attention was suddenly focused intently on the operating room below. There was only one thing that could distract Meredith that much. Dr. Shepherd, pulling his scrub cap off and leaving his sweaty hair in wild disarray, had reentered the surgery, passing two nurses on the way out.

Alex sat back, resigned to watching his friend make a fool of herself salivating over a married man again. Baby boy Ge had been a fool to believe that Meredith had even a spark of interest in him. The woman was still crazy in love with Shepherd. Meredith had simply been trying to alleviate a little of the ache in her heart with Ge, the way she had with countless, nameless other guys.

At Shepherd's first words Alex's attention was immediately drawn to the floor below.

"Rose, I've missed you," Derek said flirtatiously in his most sexy voice to the last nurse left in the room.

"You say that to all the nurses," Rose said dismissively and pretended to ignore him, but Alex noticed her flaring nostrils and tightening nipples.

Alex and Meredith glanced at each other in surprise. Derek knew a nurse well enough to call her by her first name? Hm. Alex noticed the nurse was Derek's type. She looked like Addison – all big head and hands, googily eyes, and extra large nostrils. Unfortunately, her eyes were also filled with Meredith's adoration, longing and hero worship. A man like Shepherd, utter narcissist that he was, would eat that with a spoon. Hadn't he been stringing Meredith along all this time?

"Dr. Shepherd, no, we can't... Not again... You're a married man," the nurse was obviously very flustered.

Meredith gasped as Derek stepped close behind Rose and pulled off her scrub cap, freeing her dark hair to tumble over her shoulders. He leaned over her, without touching, and sniffed her hair. Rose shuddered at his closeness and a sickening look of infatuation swept her face. Alex shifted uncomfortably as he thought about all the times he'd seen infatuation on Meredith's face. Derek grinned in triumph and murmured low in the nurse's ear. Then he pressed forward against her and Alex and Meredith could see both the surprise and excitement on her face. Derek actually humped the nurse a few times and Meredith gasped again, this time in agony.

"Aw, come on, Rose, wasn't it good last time?" he turned her into his arms and gave her his patented, intense, sexy, Derek look – the one Meredith thought was reserved for her, "You're so beautiful, so hot, I just can't resist."

"What about Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd? Or Dr. Grey? You're married and you're my boss, and people say you and Dr. Grey were dating before your wife moved here. Everyone knows she's still totally in love with you ... and you ... you flirt with her ... Uh, Dr. Shepherd!" the bimbo almost squealed in protest as Derek nibbled her ear and pressed her back over the operating table, "Oh, oh, you're so bad..."

Alex laid a supportive hand over Meredith's clenched fist as her already broken heart simply shattered at Shepherd's next words.

"If I'm the boss of you, then do what I say and come with me to an on-call room. You and I, we're so good together, we could be soul mates, have you ever thought of that? Addison isn't. I know that. She cheated on me with my best friend, no soul mate would do that, right?

"And as far as Meredith Grey goes, she's a complete whore, not anyone's idea of a soul mate. Haven't you heard about her and George O'Malley? That comes on top of all the one night stands she picks up at Joe's. That girl's a slutty mess who can't let our old relationship go, even though I told her it was over months ago. I'm sure she thinks she'll get in on my surgeries if she makes herself available, you know?

"Addison is frigid as hell in bed and Meredith drives me crazy, chasing me all over the hospital. They're a pain to deal with every day, trust me. Come on, Rose, kiss me and make it better."

Shepherd swooped down to gnaw at the nurse's lips. Nauseated and sick for his friend, Alex could almost see the wheels turning in the nurse's vacuous head. Maybe Shepherd would leave Montgomery and pick her, choose her, love her. He said she could be his soul mate, after all. Meredith was shaking like a leaf and moaning under her breath as pain wracked her.

Oh God, oh God, oh God, a whore, he'd called her a whore, a slut, a pain! He was having an affair with a nurse and he was married and he was still stringing her along. She was so stupid, stupid, stupid!

Meredith jerked her hand away from Alex's and wrapped her arms around herself in humiliated despair. She rocked back and forth, the agony jerking her inside out. Her Derek, the man she loved, was an illusion. She'd made him up out of sheer loneliness, wishful thinking, and neediness. The real Derek was nothing but a complete rotter, a licentious cur, a slimy maggot.

How many other women had fallen for his tired line? Oh, poor Derek, his bad wife slept with his best friend and that justified him flirting and dating other women, including her. Meredith felt like she was going to be sick. She'd believed him – every lying word, look, and deed. She was his soul mate and the love of his life. He wanted to live the rest of his life with her. Yeah, right. She had to be the biggest fool on the planet. Meredith had just thought she was low before, now she was free falling in a bottomless abyss.

"Uncle ... uncle ... uncle," she murmured to Hellish Fate, who was obviously deaf, she thought inanely as the pain continued unabated.

"Meredith ... Meredith, I wish I could help," Alex said, his face a hardened mask as his amiga crumbled.

"Hellish Fate just slam dunked me, Alex," Meredith joked brokenly with gallows humor, "I'm out of the game altogether now. I've got no more points to lose. A big zero."

Alex stood, fists clenched and back stiff, intent on beating the crap out of that slimy bastard once and for all. He'd pull him off that bimbo and smash his smug face in. He didn't care if that dick was his boss as well as his boss's boss. Fury overwhelmed him as his pain and anger at his own situation combined with Meredith's and painted a target on Shepherd's worthless hide.

"No!" Meredith gasped through the trauma, just aware enough to be afraid for her buddy.

"Alex! No!" Meredith said again, fighting to gather herself, when he ignored her and took two more steps towards the door, "You'll lose everything – your place in the program, your license, your freedom – if you do what you're thinking ... I won't let you. That douche bag isn't worth it."

She stepped around him and looked up into his blazing eyes, tears flooding her own.

"I'm totally selfish, Alex, everyone says so," she paused and swallowed painfully, "I can't lose one more thing. And since I've already lost everything but you and my career, that means you have to behave yourself, so you can stick around and be with me in our careers. Get it?"

Meredith waited a beat for his common sense to kick back in. As soon as Alex consciously unclenched his jaw and reluctantly nodded, Meredith felt the starch go out of her knees. She collapsed on the nearest chair, watching the disgusting show below again, almost unbearably mortified, disillusioned and hurt. Her hands were shaking as her nerves burned.

Life sucks. It just sucks big time. Meredith wanted to roll up in a ball and die as Shepherd led the empty headed nurse from the room.

"Meredith, c'mere," Alex forced himself to focus on Meredith instead of Shepherd or Duquette.

He lifted her into his arms and sat down to cradle her slim shaking body against his chest. The dam burst and she flooded his throat with hot tears. Her hands twisted into his scrub shirt front pathetically.

"Oh God, Alex, Derek never loved me! All this time, he flirted and teased. I thought it was all Addison! I thought he'd come back to me. I thought he loved me. I really did. I love him. I love him so much!"

Alex felt tears sting his own eyes at her wailing pain.

"It's going to be okay, angel face. I promise, one day it's going to be okay."

"Alex! Oh, Alex, it hurts!"