Summary:
No countdown during the events at the Hive, but instead time for some - more or less - involuntary confessions between two strong women.
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Resident Evil series or any of the characters
A/N: This story contains elements of strong language and femslash. If you feel offended by any of those, don't read.
Chapter 1 - Confessions
Silence enveloped the grey train station that connected the mansion with the Hive's underground complex. The station platform was empty, except for a few black crates without any noteworthy content. They now mainly were a home for a group of rats. These little animals were trapped, just like the five last human beings that had entered the facility some time ago.
Alice and the others had been stuck fro quite a while now.
The computer system, that used to control this part of the Hive, had shut down in order to deny any access to them, but the security programm was still active and kept the main doors locked, preventing them from being opened manually. The team now only had access to the train station through the evacuation route, which was constantly open.
Even an experienced hacker like Kaplan would need some time to manipulate the computer and search for the required data fragments.
Alice, Rain and the rest of the team – Matt, Kaplan and Spence – had retired to the train where Kaplan could take some time to prepare. Alice didn't understand what exactly he was doing, but she put all trust in him, since it was the only solution.
Alice spent the time observing her companions.
Rain was sitting in the back of the wagon playing with her combat knife, as always when she was bored or impatient. The others shared the discontent look on her face. Matt was pacing up and down with his arms crossed keeping his eyes on the floor.
Alice wondered how Kaplan could stay calm while his teammates didn't bother to hide their impatience.
Spence hadn't returned yet; half an hour ago, he had disappeared wihtout saying what he was up to. Hopefully, he was reasonable enough to stay inside the small area around the train station that was safe enough to walk around.
Rain looked up and rolled her eyes.
„Damnit, stop that, you're making me nervous!", she said to Matt, who now had started humming some made up melody.
He stopped and turned towards Rain.
„Excuse me? I'm just trying to kill some time, just like you!"
„At least I'm not getting on everyone's nerves by behaving like a little kid that's waiting for christmas!"
Just like Alice, Matt knew that upsetting Rain was a bad idea, so he just sighed and took a seat next to Alice. They all felt the tension that was slowly building up between them.
Suddenly, Spence entered the train; Alice was surprised to see him smiling.
„Guess what I just found!"
Kaplan, who had been watching the small screen of his pocket computer for almost three hours straight, now looked up.
„Where the hell did you get that?", he asked.
„I found it when I searched the desks at the offices. Someone down here has proven a good taste."
He handed a thick glass bottle with an exfoliated label over to Kaplan and as Alice took a closer look at it, she was able to identify it's content.
„Auchentoshan 18 Year Old scotch whiskey." Spence seemed to be proud of what he had discovered, as though it was a valuable piece of information.
„ … and the poor guy who hid it, didn't even have the chance to enjoy it properly! What a shame!"
The men exchanged quick glances.
„I could use a break while the computer is searching on it's own …", Kaplan said and leaned back in his seat.
„You've got to be kidding me!" Alice was stunned. „What is this, a weekend trip?"
Matt gently took her by the shoulder and whispered:
„Look, they're nervous and we can't change anything about the situation right now. Let them amuse themselves. I'll join them and we can hold night-watch as long as Kaplan's computer thing is collecting the data. Believe me, you'll feel safer then."
He looked at her pleading.
Alice sighed.
„I guess I can't stop you anyway, am I right?"
Matt laughed. „Don't worry, Alice. You got enough things to worry about at the moment. We can look after ourselves, we're all adults."
The time for night watch came; Spence and Matt carried one of the small benches outside and Kaplan looked at the computer screen for one last time.
„If we are lucky, the security system can be bypassed over night.", he said. „Let's just hope for the best!"
„You guys would make a campfire if you could, right?", Alice asked as she watched Spence leaving the train with an arm full of blankets.
Rain stepped beside her.
„I'll join you, guys.", she said immediately. „Everything's better than sitting here and moping around."
It might be more fun, but I wonder what's more productive, Alice thought but kept the question to herself.
„So why don't you acompany us, too?", Matt offered her after the others had left, but Alice refused. She had to keep her head clear and wanted to use the absence of the others to think about everything.
„Okay, if you say so...", Matt said slightly disappointed. „But remember, you can come outside whenever you want." Then he walked away.
„Thanks ...", Alice said quietly, before the door closed behind him.
Finally, the wagon wasn't filled with sounds and voices anymore, which was a pleasant feeling for the young woman. For the first time she could let her thoughts flow, make up her mind and try to connect all the pieces.
Time passed by while Alice kept aksing herself the same question over and over:
Where to look for the missing parts of the puzzle?
Perhaps, the others had similar thoughts, perhaps, they were talking about them outside, while she was completely isolating herself.
Just at that moment Alice heard a scratching noise from behind, which made her instinctively grab her weapon and turn around.
„Who's there?", she asked loudly, pointing the gun at the door.
Instead of an answer she got a groaning noise, the door opened and Rain entered the room with very unstable steps.
Surprised, Alice lowered her gun. Actually, she had expected Rain to stay outside with the guys and talk about how to continue their mission, but appearently that didn't seem to bother her very much at the moment.
All the questions and thoughts that were rushing through Alice's head before, had been wiped away. Well, maybe not completely; they were still there, but they got pushed in the far background by the growing desire to talk to the tired looking woman who clearly had lost the ambitious look on her face.
But Rain just walked past her as if she hadn't noticed that there was still someone else in the room.
Looks like I'm not the only one who's looking for a little bit of solitude, Alice thought.
As Rain came closer, Alice immidiately noticed the sharp stench of alcohol that almost made her feel dizzy by just smelling it and she involuntary backed off. She tried to catch a glimpse of Rain's face, but the narrow curtain of black hair that covered it made it impossible to make any eye contact.
„Rain … what's wrong..?", Alice asked carefully, although she was not quiet sure if it was a good idea to call Rain's attention on her when she was obviously in a bad mood.
But there was still no reaction comming from the dark-haired woman, who now took off her jacket and threw it in the corner.
It was a pretty awkward moment that nearly lasted for about half a minute before Rain finally spoke:
„What are you doin' in´here?", she mumbeled while her back was still turned on Alice.
„Shouldn't you be outside?"
Surprisingly, her voice sounded rather sad than stressed out, which confused Alice even more.
„Uhm, actually, I was just about to ask you the same ..."
Little by little, Alice started to wonder, if there was something wrong with her. The way Rain reacted, unsettled her more than the fact that she had recently lost her memory and had woken up inside this huge manor with only a few hints of her past. Perhaps, she was supposed to find some more answers down at the Hive.
Rain turned towards her. Her hair was all messy and from the glassy shine in her eyes Alice could tell that she must have been hitting the bottle a little too hard.
„Hmpf, why do you even care?"
After a short moment of astonishment, Alice simply deceided not to ask any further questions. Instead, she helped Rain sitting down on the last small bit of clean floor that was left, to avoid any possible accidents that doubtless would have occurred otherwise.
Then she settled down next to her, still in hopes of getting something like a conversation started.
Yet, Rain kept her drooping eyes straight to the ground almost mesmerized and even the greatest mind reader on earth would have failed to look through them.
Inwardly, Alice had to admit, that this characteristic trait had always appealed to her in some way and sometimes it even managed to make her nervous …
„Rain, what is it? I do care, just tell me..."
There's not much to tell! No wonder, we've reached nothing in this fuckin' dump!" Rain's voice was flooded by anger. „A waste of time … a waste of lives."
Her words made Alice remember all the companions of the squad, who had lost their lives for what they wanted to achieve.
Rain continued with a quivering voice:
„Now I know why they sent us for this mission … 'cause we're expendable. I bet they already knew that we'd get fooled by those damn computers ..."
She let out a drunk snicker. „And that's what all the exercises were for!"
Desperately, Alice tried to find an appropriate way to show compassion, but the only thing she could do was telling Rain what she had kept tellling herself four hours:
„Listen, we can't do anything as long as this place is shut down. Tomorrow, mm² will try to switch the computer back on to deactivate the security system. Until then, we can only wait. Try to get some sleep ..."
Rain looked at her and then silently shook her head.
„I don't wanna sleep … Shall I tell you why?"
She didn't wait for an answer.
„'Cause I'm afraid of closing my eyes … Those damn images in my head keep me awake since I've seen him dying ..."
Alice immidiately knew, who Rain was talking about. She has almost pushed the terrible sight of J.D. being eaten alive to the back of her mind, but she knew that he and Rain had been very close to each other.
Rain burried her face in her hands.
„The way he looked at me when those fucking things grabbed him and tore him apart … I could've helped him, but I- ..."
Her hands started shaking.
„We held you back because we were afraid of losing you as well.", Alice said quickly. „It wasn't your fault, they were too many ..."
„But they're still just filthy, braindead zombies. Damn, I'm not even able to defend my team against walking corpses! After all that training ..."
Then, Rain said something, Alice never would have expected from her:
„You got no idea what I'd give to be in your shoes ... If I could simply forget everything I fucked up, then I probably wouldn't sit here complaining like … a pathetic loser!"
She bowed her head.
Alice remained silent for a moment, searching for words. For now she could do nothing but just look at this woman who always used to appear tough and unreachable but now seemed so insecure and - Alice just couldn't find an other word for it – simply human.
She put her arm around her, a gesture Rain probably never would have tolerated under normal circumstances. Even now, for a split second, Alice almost feared that Rain would immediately refuse this touch, but she just acted as if it was nothing unusual. It almost seemed as if she was asking for some understanding after all those unexpected confessions.
„Now you probably think I'm a crybaby, don't you..?", Rain muttered, filled with bitterness.
Alice shook her head.
„ No, I just believe that knowing where you failed gives you the possibillity to make it better next time. You can't undo your mistakes but you can avoid making more... I wish I could do that..."
Rain looked up to her and a flimsy smile appeared on her slightly reddened face.
„You're alright, aren't you?"
Her smile turned into a grin.
„Tryin' to console me ..."
Alice couldn't tell if it was just the effect of drinking or if it was really a tear of sadness filling one of her eyes.
„You just need some rest...", she said inwardly, trying to hide the helplessness that suddenly creeped over her like a shower of cold water.
She was certain, that at this moment she would rather want to face a bunch of those hungry, brainless creatures, that were roaming through the facility, because in that case she would at least know what to do.
Now however, she was facing one of those problems that couldn't be solved that easy.
„Nah, I don't need any rest ..."
„Wait, you can't get up ..."
Rain staggered as she tried to rise.
Even now she proves her stubbornness, Alice tought slightly amused and quickly took her by the arm.
After her unsuccessful attempt at standing up, Rain plunked back on the ground, right into Alice's arms, but she didn't seem to care.
Her calm, steady breathing was the only sound that filled the dimly lit room for almost five minutes.
Alice sensed it as intensely as though it were her's; a gente airflow against her bare shoulder.
„It's alright, I'll take care of you and I won't tell anybody ..."
She just kept talking; it somehow helped her to deal with this odd situation, even though she had no idea, if Rain was paying any attention to her words.
„Maybe we're not as different as I believed at first... It's been a hard time for both of us, why can't we just share our experiences as long as we're in this together..?"
With every word Alice spoke, Rain sank deeper into her arms. Alice had never felt so protective before, not to mention this yet unknown attraction that grabbed her, as this warm, slender body slightly rubbed against her's.
A clicking sound revealed that all lights inside the facility just turned off automatically, as they always used to do to save energy.
It gave Alice an uncomfortable feeling of being cut off from the outside world … A feeling of being completely unprotected, although there were trained soldiers with her, of which one had just fallen asleep in her arms.
Alice was a bit surprised how different a person could look while sleeping.
So fragile, so innocent ...
She stroked Rain's hair and sighed.
„Tomorrow you'll probably have a headache and won't be able to remember a single thing...", she whispered regretfully.
„That's too bad, I wish I had more opportunities to get to know this side of you … Even if I know you'd never let me ..."
Alice didn't know how long they had been sitting there; she had completely lost her sense of time, but from the watch on Rain's wrist she could tell that it was nearly 1 a.m.
A sudden fatigue made her eyelids feel heavy, causing the feeling that every blink was about to let her fall asleep. Also the inability to move kept her from an alert position.
She looked down on the woman in her arms, but before she could be overcome with her feelings again, her tired eyes closed for the first time since she had left the mansion.
It wasn't a dreamless sleep; it felt more like a swirl of visions and images, some consisting of horribly deformed figures, crawling through Alice's head making noises, others simply pacifying and somewhat beautiful.
Sometimes, they were accompanied by disembodied voices, which sounded as if they were argueing about something, Alice could not understand.
„It's controling you. You aren't yourself anymore! Concentrate on what you're supposed to do!"
„It has nothing to do with her!"
„You can't see, concentrate! They're watching you … every single weakness of yours! Resist! Now!"
„Where are they?"
„They're still inside the train ..."
„Both of them?"
„Yeah …"
The voices that just had haunted Alice's dreams had changed; they now came from a different direction, somewhere from the outside of her head.
It took her a few seconds to realize that it were the guy's voices from beyond the door which must have woken her up, smudging the small line between dream and reality.
For Alice, they just consisted of incoherent pieces without any meaning. She was even willing to simply agree to every plan the others would coceive.
How far has it come already? Soon, her insecurity gave way to helpless anger. Why can't I just stop being so damn selfish? My feelings don't matter at all down here …
But was it really selfishness that was messing her up?
Wasn't the reason lying right there … in her arms?
Footsteps that were slowly getting closer suddenly interrupted her thoughts and made her come back to the present.
Trying not to wake Rain up, Alice turned around and through the small piece of glass in the middle of the door she noticed that the lights outside had been switched on again.
Night had passed quite fast but she didn't feel tired at all; her brain was busy recalling what exactly had happened.
What about Rain, what will she remember, was the last thing she could wonder before the door was opened.
„Hey … you're awake already?", Matt's voice asked quietly through the door crack.
„We're planning to move on in about an hour, are you okay with that...?"
Alice just nodded.
„I'll meet up with you as soon as I'm ready.", she then added quickly because Matt was still standing on the same spot, looking at her a bit worried.
„Alright ...", he then answered, turned around and disappeared through the door, but not without taking a swift glance back.
Alice wasn't sure what exactly Matt had seen and what it must have looked like, but there was no doubt that it had confused him.
His words that echoed in her thoughts made her come back to sanity for at least a while.
Rain surely will need some time to prepare, hopefully she's alright after that night ... Otherwise, we could lose time...
„Rain ..." Softly, Alice stroke her cheeks with her fingertips.
The pressure to move on with their mission had finally defeated the fear about how her partner would react.
„Rain, wake up ..."
The sleeper's mouth stood slightly open and her breathing was heavy. She seemed to be totally worn out.
Alice's fingers slowly floated down Rain's cheeks until they reached her lips.
The blonde hesitated shortly.
Time stood still for a moment, but nevertheless, she now felt her face moving towards the spot she was about to touch with her fingers, driven by a force she wasn't able to resist.
Only a few millimeters left ...
Then, those lips suddenly made a sound.
„What the ..."
Alice flinched and looked into Rain's wide opened eyes.
Rain jumped up as if Alice had delt an electric shock to her, but her body clearly didn't seem to be prepared for such a sudden movement; she could barely keep herself on her feet.
Alice lifted her hands.
„Easy..."
Rain looked at Alice as though she had transformed into something gross.
„What the hell happened!"
Alice was so amused by the look on her face that she couldn't help herself answering the question for her:
„Well, when you came here, you were pretty much wasted, we talked and then you came cuddling. No big deal.", she added quickly as she noticed Rain's face changing from disgusted to simply shocked.
„What the fuck!"
„I'm afraid it didn't get that far..."
Rain turned away but Alice still could see how hard she was trying to recall her memories.
„Hey, look, it's nothing bad .. no need to get angry."
She reached out her hand but before she could touch Rain's shoulder, the black haired spun around and hissed:
„Listen, whatever I told you, it's none of your fuckin' business, understood! Don't think I'd take any stupid advices from you! I'm just fine ..."
Alice looked at her both quizzically and a bit challenging.
„So if you're just fine, why are you bitching about it then? Not really typical for you ..."
Meanwhile, she was tired of showing understanding.
„I've been sitting here the whole time, thinking about all the things you told me -..."
„Oh wow!", Rain cut her off. „What a hero we got here! Not only fighting evil zombies, but also so concerned about other people's feelings! We're all so lucky!"
Her eyes were nearly electrified with cynicism.
Nevertheless, Alice could read the signs of fear in the last angry stare Rain gave her before she left the room, slamming the door with a loud bang.
For the first time, Alice felt how cold it actually was in that little wagon ...