Better Days

Chapter 1

~Mark

There are things about me you don't understand, things that I'm not going to explain to you because I can't even explain them myself. I have demons, Mark. Demons that eat away at me late at night when I'm sleeping, urging me. The urges have called and I can't ignore them.

I'm leaving Arielle in your care and you have full parental rights over her. I can't be her mother, I would fail horribly. I love her with all of my heart, but my demons are getting the best of me.

Please don't hate me for this. I have to do this, I have to runaway before I destroy you and her. You both are the most important people in my life. I will never forget you. You're the love of my life and no matter what happens to me, just take care of our daughter...your daughter now. I am no longer her mother, I don't have that right.

I'm sorry.

Jasina~

Mark stared down at the letter he had found on the pillow where his wife's head usually rested. Sunlight streamed into his bedroom and he could hear infant Arielle beginning to rouse in her crib at the foot of the bed. Tears escaped his eyes, not believing this. What demons? What had driven her away from her family? The man who loved her more than life itself? Setting the note aside, he went to tend his now crying daughter. His daughter…

~!~

She stared straight ahead while Andy drove, not saying a word. It'd been ten years. Ten long years. Jasina could feel the tears burn her eyes as she turned her head, remembering the town of Houston, Texas, so many memories and emotions flowing through her. She felt Andy, her friend and counselor of the past two years, grab her hand and squeezed it in return. Not a day went by that she hadn't thought about her daughter...and her husband. Hell, he wasn't her husband, not anymore. Jasina lost that right when she ran away from her family ten years ago because of something she couldn't control.

"Okay...Daddy, next word."

"Together." Mark said from underneath his truck, long legs stretched out on the grass. He glanced at Arielle, who was laying on her stomach just a few feet away, her brows drawn together. "C'mon, lil darlin'. It's easy."

"Oh, I know...I was just thinkin'."

"Bout?"

"Well...To-Get-Her."

He began laughing.

The ranch came into view and suddenly Jasina shook her head, shaking from head to toe. "No...Andy turn around, I can't do this." She stated, her hand trembling as she covered her mouth with her hand. "Please." She whispered painfully, her heart breaking. "I-I don't have the right...to barge in their lives like this..."

"Jasina, you have the right to see your daughter. You ran away for a reason. Remember that. You did what you thought was right, what a good mother should've done in those circumstances."

"Doing coke and crack and running away from my family doesn't fall under that category, Andy!"

"Hey Daddy, someone's comin'." Arielle said, getting to her feet. She giggled when he scooped her up onto his shoulder, holding his head and hand to keep herself steady. "We know 'em?"

"Probably more salespeople or church folk." Mark replied, using a bandana from his back pocket to wipe away sweat, grinning up at her. Arielle was his life, his only concern, he'd devoted himself completely to her. "What do you think?"

"Lemme go get my BB gun." She waited for him to put her down before scampering off.

"Take a deep breath, Jasina. Just take a slow, deep breath." Andy coached, knowing this was going to be hard, but everyone had a shady past, everyone made mistakes. She wasn't turning around. She seen how much pain her friend and client had been in during their sessions whenever she mentioned Arielle and Mark. "If you don't do this now, Jasina, you're going to go through life wondering what would've happened had you taken this chance." She said, pulling up to the house on the side of the road. "Jasina, this is your chance at redemption." She placed a hand on the woman's shoulder, seeing she was slowly breaking down.

"I can't do this..." She whispered and buried her face in her hands, shaking her head back and forth repeatedly. "Please, turn around. Go back. I can't." Jasina began to sob, the pain rushing through her, knowing she threw away the best thing that ever happened to her due to her drug addiction. "Andy, please!"

Mark was sitting on the porch, waiting for the car that was creeping. He heard Arielle coming, her pink cowgirl boots pounding on the floor. He smirked when he seen the matching cowgirl hat on her head. She even called his boots cowgirl just to annoy him though they were regular old steel toes. "Got it?"

She swung her BB gun off her shoulder, cocking it. "Yep, can I shoot if they turn in?"

"Wait till they get out."

"I-I'm not ready Andy..." Jasina whispered through heart wrenching sobs, looking out the window and seen him for the first time in ten years. His beautiful long auburn hair was pulled back in a braid and the little girl standing beside him...god she was beautiful.

"Jasina..."

"Turn around right now!" She ordered, pulling her gaze away from the window, wearing black shades.

Andy sighed gently and nodded before pulling a three point turn, heading in the opposite direction back toward town. Jasina had gotten a job and an apartment, she was a writer for the local newspaper under the name Jade. Sighing, Andy knew this wasn't going to be easy for her friend, but knew in the end, it would be worth it, should she bite the bullet.

"Chicken butts!"

Shaking his head, he stood up, patting the disappointed Arielle on her head. "Inside, time to make dinner."

"Good, I'm starvin'. Steak?"

"Chicken?"

"Hamburgers."

Nodding, he followed her inside.

~!~

"Thanks for everything, Andy." Jasina whispered, hugging her friend tightly around the neck, knowing they would be parting now.

"Anytime Jas, you know that. Just...I hope you know what you're doing. Are you sure you don't want to go back?"

"I gave up my rights a long time ago. Maybe one day I'll go, but right now, I can't interfere. They look...so happy." She sniffled, wiping another stray tear from her cheek.

Andy nodded, saying her final goodbye, telling Jasina to call her whenever she had to talk before getting in her car and leaving.

Taking a deep breath, Jasina waited until Andy's car was out of sight before walking into her apartment, closing the door and pressed her back against it before sliding down, letting the sobs overtake her.

~!~

"Onion." Arielle handed over an onion, watching as her dad chopped it into slices, then began stuffing the insides of their burgers with peppers, accepting the slices he handed her. "What am I missin'?"

Mark placed the seasoning salt in front of her.

"Oh yeah. Hey, don't forget to cut potatoes for French fries."

"Get me a couple potatoes from the bin."

~!~

Her first week in town, Jasina had stayed in her apartment, not even going out in public until nightfall. She walked the streets of Houston, saw a few movies, mostly getting ideas on her columns she'd start writing for the local newspaper. Jasina had a lot to say and decided this was the perfect job for her. Her first piece was about drug addiction and how it could destroy a person's thinking and life in general. She decided to write her life experiences, starting at the beginning, leaving out the birth of her daughter and her marriage to Mark.

She knew Mark read the paper and that's why she went under the name of Jade. She didn't want him to know she was back. Jasina didn't know if she would ever be able to face Mark again or her daughter...no, that wasn't right. Arielle was not hers anymore. She hadn't been in ten years, ever since she left, two days after Arielle was born. Jasina thought about it and it ate her up inside night in and night out, when she was alone. How could she move on with her life and be happy when everything around her was so screwed up? Why had she come back to Houston?

Arielle walked the short distance from school to her dad's motorcycle shop, her best friend Toni, with her. "Nuh uh, can't come over today, I gotta work." She said, pushing a lock of hair from her face.

"I wish MY dad would pay me to help at his work."

"He oughta pay me anyways, I keep that place running." Arielle said, nodding wisely.

Jasina sighed as she pulled up to the shop, wondering why she was even here. Granted Mark wouldn't recognize her and she desperately needed an oil change for her hunk of shit car. It got her from point A to point B though as she slowly stepped out, wearing a black tank top with black jeans, black shades over her eyes, hiding them effectively. They were teal and her honey chestnut hair flowed down her back in loose curls, hugging her waist. The last time Mark had saw her, it was black. She had went back to her original hair color while in rehab, deciding the black didn't suit her. Taking a deep breath and mentally telling herself she was just here for business and nothing more, Jasina walked inside the shop.

"Mark, customer!"

"Handle it, Steve! Arie is gonna be here soon." Mark shouted, busy washing his hands in the back.

"That gal has you wrapped around her little fingers." Steve laughed, shaking his head. In truth, she had him wrapped as well. "Hello." He greeted when the woman walked in, arching an eyebrow. "Can I help ya?"

Arielle walked in behind the woman. "Hiya Stevie, where's my daddy?" She squealed when he appeared in the doorway that connected office and garage. "Dad!" She laughed, running to him and let him pick her up. "You got grease on your nose."

Closing her eyes at hearing her sweet daughter's laughter, Jasina suddenly felt the panic consume her. "N-No thank you." She quietly said before walking out of the shop, raking a hand through her hair, and fumbled for her keys. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks as she got in her car and pulled away, deciding she would find another shop to get her oil change. What had she been THINKING coming here, knowing it was Mark's shop? "I'm such a coward." She whispered as the tears kept falling while she drove, stopping a red light and pressed her forehead to the steering wheel.

"What the hell was that all about?" Steve demanded, scratching his bald head.

"Mind yer mouth, Stevie."

"Sorry honey bunches."

Mark just shrugged, looking like he'd already forgotten the woman, his attention back on his daughter.

After getting her oil change and doing some grocery shopping, Jasina went back to the apartment and just laid in bed, crying her heart and soul out. She couldn't do this. She had to run again. She would start looking for apartments in L.A., where she'd run too after leaving Mark ten years ago, opening her laptop as she began the search. Though instead of doing that, she ended up writing a column about family. When she was finished, Jasina put it in her fax machine and shut her laptop down, sliding it under the bed before proceeding to cry herself to sleep.

~!~

Arielle was waiting patiently in her bed for her dad to come in and give her a goodnight kiss. "Tomorrow is bring your mom to school day." She announced.

Mark blinked, sitting on the edge of her bed. "Yeah?"

"I want to take you."

"Lil darlin', I'm not a mom." He laughed, kissing the tip of her nose.

"You're both. When I'm naughty, you're the dad and you punish me. When I'm sick, you're the mom and you make me feel better." Arielle reasoned.