A/N: This is my first one-shot published on this account and I hope you all will enjoy it, please review it would mean a lot to me to know your opinion on whether if it's good or down-right terrible. (I hope it's not the latter though)
Summary: It was cold and disheartening in the Astronomy Tower, where Hermione hid herself and cried without resistance. As Draco Malfoy wandered through the night and searched for a place to find peace, he stumbled upon a crying Gryffindor whom walls crumbled. Maybe it was because no one was there to witness it, maybe it was because it was a long tired night, and maybe because they were both dejected and sad in a sweet way. Maybe it was wrong to think that Malfoy's touch strongly affected her, the soft gentle caress and the electricity running through her veins. Maybe it was a mistake that she had made, to be vulnerable, but after all those years, she could remember his touch so clearly, so bittersweet.
To care for someone greatly, is a beautiful miracle as the undeniable truth is: humans rarely ever care; they don't, not really, actually not at all.
The air hovered over her shoulders silently and wrapped its arms around her body as Hermione shivered slightly at the cold. The witch stood rigidly at the railing of the Astronomy Tower, with tears stained on her pink cheeks. She harshly wiped her overflowing tears as she looked out to the darkness in the horizon. The cold night air was patently not in favour of her night, as she stared at the emptiness, the tears in her eyes threatened to fall again. Hermione shut her eyes and immediately the image of Ron and Lavender Brown kissing in the Commons provoked her to openly cry. She bit her bottom lip from quivering at the sight and immediately opened her eyes. Unconsciously, her tears blurred her vision as she fought the battle yet with all her power, her fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.
Hermione clenched her fists tightly and hugged her body for warmth and comfort, she certainly did not realise that her heart torn into pieces as she watched Ron and Lavender blatantly and passionately kissing. Her heart exploded to raw undiscovered emotions that she wasn't aware she had the ability to feel. Suddenly, that intense hatred, anger, hurt, immense jealousy conjured and bubbled inside her. Whilst everyone was cheering at the couple, Hermione obliviously ran out of the room and decided to breathe some fresh air before she choke from her jealousy. It was an unnerving sight and disgusted her to no end however she instantly came to an understanding that the reason she felt that way was because merely she fancied Ron. As she had read many romance novels that described the feeling of torn apart or broken-hearted, she never did understood what that feeling was until that kiss. Her heart emotionally and physically hurt; she did not feel the blood pumping, all she felt was a sharp dagger stabbed through it countless times, over and over at an endless cycle. She was trapped and had no escape as hurt became a cage, enclosing up on her, suffocating her slowly. She felt incredibly stupid that she was ripped apart because of a boy. She never had the chance to tell Ron how she felt, her ever-growing feelings for him. How she loved his lopsided boyish smile, the way he would make her laugh, his constant growling of his stomach demanding for food. Then Lavender arrived like a hammer that shattered her pitiful dreams of her possible future accompanied by Ron.
The stars became dimmer than it would usually be in the empty plain sky, as if slowly dwindling the hope that she struggle to hold on to. Hermione Granger, crying because the boy she likes kissed another girl, her conscience at the back of her mind pronounced vehemently. There was a voice persistently hounding her to be strong and tenacious, when she knew that she was already fighting a losing battle as tears slipped up and rolled onto her cheeks. Another gust of harsh wind blew and goose bumps rose along her skinny pale arms. In a distant, Hermione heard a quiet shuffling of footsteps and immediately she swivelled her head backwards. She saw the bottom of a torso hidden in the shadows of the Astronomy Tower, the darkness of the night concealed the trespasser's face.
For a moment, a spark of hope gleamed inside her, Hermione anticipated perhaps it was Ron who came to apologise and maybe even proclaim his love for her. She was crushed as the boy walked towards Hermione and she glanced at the infamous pool of blond hair swayed against the gentle wind. She sucked in a breath harshly and clenched her fists at the railing. "What do you want, Malfoy?" she exasperatedly asked, disappointment coloured her voice. She was definitely not in the mood of the game 'throwing-insults-back-and-forth until one gets bored and walks away'. Although, her reflection back at the past year showed that Malfoy rarely came across Harry's, Ron's or her path, and even when he did, he hardly ever insulted the Golden Trio that year.
The Slytherin wizard did not answer her sarcastic question, merely brushed it off and stood at a metre's length from Hermione and placed his long pale hands on the railing. Hermione followed his movements but he did not seemed to be doing anything, almost as if he was ignoring her. Malfoy insolently fixed his grey-eyed gaze at the emptiness; perhaps he was lost in his own thoughts, Hermione guessed. Few moments passed and she lost count of time the silence that hung between them, she slowly turned her head and looked back at the abstruse night.
"Why are you crying, Granger?" Malfoy finally asked and she internally cringed at the inevitable question, though she did not detect any usual impudence in his voice, only curiosity.
She stared at the vacant sky, she pointedly looked at it and grappled to run away to her room then cry alone there instead of answering his question. "It's none of your business, Malfoy," she replied with distaste, vehemence stained in her voice.
For a while he became silent, then he interjected quietly, "Oh really?" Hermione could not distinguish his implication behind his unfathomable tone, she didn't know what it was, but it was almost as if there was a slight tinge of actual concern, as if he had to ability to care.
Hermione resisted the urge to look at him, only to see if there were any signs that could show that he perhaps, had the capability to care of her well-being. It wasn't as if Hermione thought Malfoy was particularly evil, simply because she was under the impression that Malfoy rarely ever care about anyone really. For all the years she has been in Hogwarts, Malfoy stuck his nose up highly, always strutting around the castle narcissistically and verbally abusing anyone who was not sorted into Slytherin. She did honestly and fervently believed to always see the virtuous and good qualities in one's heart but for some reason, she just could not broaden her mind when it came to Malfoy. As she heard feet shuffling, she immediately turned to her side to look at Malfoy, she saw the back of his gleaming fair hair as he slowly walked away.
Truthfully, she did not why she called out for him but it was an impulsive and irrational action, she didn't think for a second, her lips suddenly uttered and formed the word, "Malfoy!" He stopped walking and paused, as if waiting for her to speak. It was as if she could not control her own thoughts and her own body, maybe it was just an episode at that time and maybe it was due to Ron's kiss that affected her self-control, she continued, "W-Where are you going?"
The moment the words left her lips, she felt even more humiliated, it seemed as if she cared about him. But she chastised herself into thinking that she was only curious, it was after all rather late and dark for someone to be up in the Astronomy Tower. Malfoy paused for a long while, as if he was contemplating whether to respond her or not but because he turned his back to her, she didn't have the chance to decipher his expression. Hermione planned on asking again, wondered if he possibly did not hear her the first time before he spoke with a tone she can't quite put her finger on, "And why do you care?"
Exasperatedly, she stared at the back of his head in response and agitatedly snapped, "I don't." Malfoy swivelled and looked at her indifferently, Hermione tried to look into his pool of silver eyes that gleamed in the darkness. It became a battle of a staring contest before his corner of his lips lifted up to a semi-smile.
"Good," he said and moved his hands to once again place on the railing, then stood at his previous position beside Hermione. She couldn't interpret what he meant by 'good' exactly, did he possibly suggested that he didn't want her to care? Malfoy's behaviour only resulted in more endless unanswered questions, and she clearly did not comprehend his undistinguished and confusing remarks, Hermione Granger never felt more senseless and obtuse than ever. It puzzled her to no end, the last word, but Malfoy didn't explain, he simply glanced at the open night sky as still as a statue except for the gradual inhale and exhale of his breathing. Hermione squinted at the infamous Slytherin boy, he did not even attempt to make any snide remarks about the obvious tears that stained on her cheeks. For a second, she almost wanted him to ask again, to prod against her business, just to show that he had the ability to bother.
As the silence dragged on, and even though it was peculiar that she found it comfortable with Malfoy, she decided to start a small civilised conversation with him. "So…What are you doing up here?" She started, it was an awkward question to ask but it was the only option she could explore. Malfoy gracefully glazed his eyes to meet Hermione's, he assessed her as if she was an object rather than a human being. She lightly shuddered at his nonchalant gaze but she did not tremble or tear her chocolate eyes away from his hard silver eyes.
"Same reason as you," he muttered softly under his breath. She waited for him to explain, she highly doubted that Malfoy was exactly crying over his crush kissing another girl and decided to hide his tears in the Astronomy Tower. He turned his head back to the empty sky and continued, "I guess I just wanted a place without noise, just purely peace and the Astronomy Tower…well it has been the place where I would go to think." Malfoy's reply shocked her to the core, it sounded so incredibly sincere and truthful that she almost forgotten that it was Malfoy speaking. Malfoy wouldn't speak in that tone of voice, not to anyone and especially not to Hermione Granger of the Golden Trio. There was something else in his tone that she couldn't directly pinpoint, but whoever was speaking wasn't the Malfoy that she knew, he became entirely different at that moment. She didn't know if she liked this unfamiliar, mystifying callous Malfoy but she'd rather be talking to him rather than the usual cold and condescending Malfoy.
During that year, Harry already informed Hermione that he suspected Malfoy was on to something, something cruel and immoral. He even stated that Malfoy could possibly be getting Marked but Hermione neglected his views unless her best friend managed to have a solid proof. At that moment, she disregarded her endless thoughts and her friendships. Internally, she debated whether if she should tell Malfoy the main reason she was crying though Hermione couldn't risk on letting her guard down. "I uh, also wanted to find some peace," she implausibly and poorly replied.
She heard Malfoy scoffed at her pronouncement and she tempted to slap him in the face right then. Unsuspectedly, he took a small step closer to Hermione and she resisted the unconscious urge to move away but decided not to. He laid his heavy eyes on her and merely corrected her, "No, you're not. Poor Hermione Granger, crying all alone in the Astronomy Tower after the Weasel and Brown's dramatic kiss. Guess the Weasel doesn't know about your little crush." Rage and resentment rose and coloured her expression, however it strangely wasn't because he was making a snide sarcastic remark about it, it sounded like he pitied and sympathised her. Hermione felt absolutely dreadful that Malfoy, out of all people, was being sympathetic towards her; which only made her feel even worse than she was. She could administer the bitter Malfoy and would retort back but this, this was utterly different.
It was difficult to respond, she didn't know whether if she should thank him for sympathising or strike her palm against his face for making her feel almost laughable and just downright stupid at the sight. Instead, she didn't do either, she just gritted her teeth in an unseemly fashion and pointedly turned her head to stare at the black. "I bet you're gloating inside, huh? Capturing this moment and keeping it forever to torment me in the future," she bitterly spitted as her anguished tears travelled down the sides of her face. Her heart descended and collapsed in a deep plunge; maybe Malfoy's accurate comment eventually incited her emotions and maybe it's because she was so incredibly tired of putting on a straight face.
Malfoy simply stood there without a care of the world as Hermione blatantly weeped, she cried because of Ron's ignorance, she cried because of Lavender's complacency as she brought Ron's lips to meet hers but mostly Hermione cried for herself. For being daft, for being vulnerable, for crying in front of Malfoy and he didn't even seemed to care. All the time she spent on building her walls up came crumbling down, it was exhausting to carry the weight of being constantly perfect. Unbelievably, Malfoy was silent throughout her outburst of tears, he treated as if he didn't hear her loud alarming sobs. When she peered her tear-streaked face to take a glimpse of his indifferent cold face, she almost caught a tint of concern.
Spitefully, she wiped her tears off her face with the back of her palms ungracefully, but then again, she didn't care if Malfoy thought she was repulsive and an ugly cryer. She covered her hands and felt a nudge on her arm. Slowly she turned to meet Malfoy and she glanced at the piece of cloth he stuck his hand out to. Hermione titled her redden eyes to meet his, it was then she came to a conclusion, there was always a shell around him but as the saying goes, the eyes are the windows to the soul. For a moment she believed it, she saw the compassion and sympathy in his eyes, the two pools of molten silver. Hesitantly, she took the handkerchief that he offered and carefully avoided to touch his skin; the cloth was soft and evidently the quality was the standards of a Malfoy. Although she didn't think that anybody in their year would actually carry a handkerchief around, perhaps it was a traditional eloquent habit.
"Just stop thinking for once and wipe your insolent tears away for Merlin's sakes," he said and she muttered her appreciation of thanks under her breath. He turned his head to hide away his expression as Hermione attentively dabbed the handkerchief to wipe away the tears. Immediately she relaxed, Malfoy wasn't a threat to her, at least not at that moment of time. She obviously tried not to analyse his gesture and his indifferent…somewhat to a certain extent, his kindness but it was hard, it was like she was defying her nature. At that moment, she somehow knew that Malfoy would not make a move to provoke her with his incessant condescending remarks, she didn't know how she knew but she did and she was going to trust that instinct for now.
They both were contented, enveloped in their own thoughts and wrapped around in long silence and tranquility. Hermione decided that she was going to surpass her heartbreak, she was stronger and better than that but oh, was it hard to do so. For some reason, she didn't want her weakness of unrequited love exposed to Malfoy anymore, she didn't want him to use this to taunt her in the future but it was just so difficult to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, no, an unrequited, unloved broken heart, especially when there was nobody to help you by your side except the Slytherin Malfoy. She roughly shoved the thought of Ron and his sweetheart aside, she straighten her back and turned away.
Hermione started walking, with the deprivation of sleep hopefully without tears in her mind before she heard a very low voice with those gratifying words, "You deserve better, you know." There was a moment where she couldn't even breathe, her mind was only fixed at those words: 'you deserve better', it was like a boost to her self-esteem but it wasn't, not really considering those 5 syllables revering words were uttered from Malfoy. She felt him moving towards her, his footsteps almost undetectable on the cold concrete floor, she didn't dare to turn around, she didn't dare. Draco Malfoy was standing behind her and she couldn't do a thing, it felt like the universe stopped moving that the law of prejudice and hatred for the past years stopped and it was only gravity that held them.
"You deserve better, better than that Weasel anyway," he whispered lowly behind her. Her breath hitched and choked behind the back of her throat, it was difficult to breathe. The musky sweet and his cologne flooded her senses and she couldn't breathe. He continued,"Even an inferior mudblood like you could do better than Ron Weasley, the quintessential idiot of the whole entire generation."
At that, she could almost felt him sneering at the words 'mudblood' and 'idiot'. Anger and disappointment rushed back, she couldn't believe the nerve of him! She almost, for a moment, trusted him and thought that he cared and sympathised her. Who was she kidding? This was Malfoy and there was no moral sane consciousness on Earth that could pull him back to the world of humane feelings. Hermione felt a tinge of disappointment, she hoped that perhaps he could stopped being the prejudice arrogant rascal he was and who would ever thought that hope would be crushed as soon as it rose. She turned her back to face him and immediately slapped him forcefully without a moment of hesitation.
There was a spark of surprise and strange satisfaction in his grey eyes as he faced her, his right palm cradling his flamed right cheek. Hermione widened her eyes, waiting for that disdainful retort or threat but all she saw was a twitch at the side of his lips pulling up to a smirk. Then abruptly, he started laughing loudly, without a care that it was late at night and he was acting so incredibly not his usual self. To say Hermione was shock at that time was clearly an understatement. She stared at him incredulously as he clutched his stomach from the incessant laughter. Finally, he stopped and wiped off his tears of joy at the side of his eyes. It was the first time she witnessed a different side of Malfoy and she didn't know if she liked it or not.
Malfoy turned to her astonished face, smirked and said complacently, "That. That was what I was looking for. Now, since the Granger I know has returned back from her pitiful state of mind, I can finally rest in peace." He finished off with a dramatic bow to an imaginary audience, turned his heel and started walking away.
It was instinct that told her, it was her reckless and stupid side of her and begged her to grabbed him and she did. She did exactly that, she ran and caught the sleeve of his shirt and pulled him backwards to face her. She wanted to demand for what he was thinking, why he did it but all words was lost at the tip of her lips. Hermione glanced into the pool of silver-molten eyes, his dishevelled hair and his famous pale skin. Malfoy wasn't Prince Charming exactly but she didn't know what it was that came over her, that took over logic, reason and her sanity. She placed her hands at his face, moved and she kissed him.
She kissed him and Hermione couldn't care less about what he felt and she was thinking. It was like jumping off a cliff, whether you decide it to do it or not, it was a single decision, chance and if you don't do it, you may never do so again. Malfoy didn't respond to her kiss for a while and she didn't care, she simply didn't. Suddenly she was pushed back against a wall and his lips was sliding over hers, begging for entrance, for irrationality, for a feeling, for something. Logic was unknown to her, to him and she didn't want to feel anything but this. It was unexpected, sudden and mystical feeling. His hands sank roughly at her petit waist, her fingers locked in his blond soft hair; they were both searching for something unpredictable, trying to seize the feeling of neediness. The kiss was almost animalistic and rough, different from what she expected but his lips were soft and warm against her. She didn't want this feeling to end, valiantly, she tried to reach and deepen the kiss. His scent was all over her, messing with her thoughts, her breathing. It was wrong to think that his touch affected her, the sudden soft gentle caress of his hands moved to cupped her cheeks. Electricity was running in her veins, and she knew he felt it too. She was stumbling into a free fall and she didn't want it to stop. The intensity of the kiss was slowly drowning her, suffocating her and she loved it, she loved it so much and suddenly-
He harshly pushed himself away and Hermione was immediately washed with lost, disappointment, hurt and rejection. "Draco, I-" she started and reached out to him but Malfoy was already walking away. In the end, Hermione was left alone, cold in the Astronomy Tower. The kiss was a mistake she kept repeating it to herself, it clearly was but she couldn't believe it. She just couldn't and it was suddenly a long way back to reality.
Ever since then, Hermione Granger couldn't forget Draco Malfoy. The boy who taunted her, made her cry, introduced her to the foul prejudice world. Even after the years of constant bullying, she couldn't forget him. The night at the Astronomy Tower haunted her every single day of her life, what if he didn't stop, didn't push her away. Maybe there was a chance, however slim it may be, that they might be together. But now, she was standing beside Ron, her beautiful children boarded in Hogwarts Express. It was like a repeated experience, the laughing, smiling and adventurous memories tucked away neatly in her head. It was time that she should stop pondering about Draco Malfoy, whom she never had to chance to know, to understand.
He was standing few metres apart from her, his arms wrapped around a beautiful woman, Astoria Greengrass. She couldn't help but stare at the couple, wondering that perhaps there was a world where it could be her. Undeniably, she loves Ron. She would be telling a lie if she said she did not love him. He was sweet, good to her, easy to be with and a man that could make her laugh even he did after all, broke her heart during the time he was with Lavender in Hogwarts. That was the past but his kisses were different, different to the one she felt and craved back then. The one that could spark desperation, want and raw neediness.
His eyes caught her staring at him, those silver cold-hearted eyes drilled to the back of her head but she continued to stare, unwavering at the weight of his gaze. He had never glanced at her, even merely acknowledging her presence, treated her as a ghost after the kiss, and she was going to savour the attention that he was giving her now. Unexpectedly, he smiled. It was a genuine sad smile, it wasn't the smirk, it was a smile. A sincere smile from Draco Malfoy. Instantly without a pause of a heartbeat, she couldn't breathe once more. It was like another moment of that feeling, the one that was buried behind the layers of sweet loving despondency with Ron.
It was a mistake that she had made, to be vulnerable at that time. It was also a mistake that he made too, but after all those years, she could remember his touch so clearly, so bittersweet and she knew she had no intention of forgetting that.
A/N: I was hoping I could write a one-shot that just kills and stabs you in the heart in a very sadistic and heart-breaking way. And if I did, then review and tell me. Anyway, I hope you liked that, sorry for the unhappy ending but this was after all, a one-shot. I hope they are in-character because I would really hate myself if I was succumbed to cheesy romance and just pathetic story lines. Review this and i'll love you forever.