Where is she? Is she...is she alright? What happened?
He raced through the same double doors as he had far too many times before. The smell was pungent and far too clean, and all he wanted was to get out. But he couldn't. There was something keeping him there.
He was walking manically down the corridors to the room of a woman he had very mixed feelings for. He felt like an outsider again; he didn't belong, and he wasn't required. But he felt like should be there. They were a family. She was his family. And so was Serena.
He finally saw her. Standing outside a glass window, looking in, yet focussing on nothing. He walked behind her, not knowing what to say. How to say it. He felt like an outsider; and he never thought he would feel like an outsider of her world.
You and I are forever. Huh. What happened to that?
'Hey. How is she?' Her shoulders tensed.
'She's...unstable, the doctors say.' Broken voice, pained face, tear-stricken cheeks. He loved Blair, yet there was something inside of him making him want to take all of that away from her. Make her happy.
He walked closer to her. She felt it. 'How are you?'
She moved further from him. He refused to believe that became a natural instinct to her.
'Dan. Blair's not here yet. You don't have to stay.' He then perceived the broken heart. The result of his actions. His stupid, careless actions.
We either sink or swim. The choice was made. They're sinking.
'I'm not here for Blair, Serena. I'm here for you.' He started advancing towards her, but she held out her arm. A physical barrier between them.
Don't come any closer.
Defensive. And he didn't like it.
'Please... Don't.' She looked away. His stomach hurt; it seemed her green eyes reflected the red around them. A brown colour. A sad colour. He found himself longing for the faded green. Not the rich, chocolate brown of a tiny brunette who seemed to be a memory of a forgotten life. A life he had chosen to live. And for a brief second he almost forgot why.
He blamed it on the dramatic circumstances. The hospital walls, and the smell of a tragedy waiting to happen, and the sight of his ex-girlfriend crumbling in front of his eyes for reasons which he was partially responsible for. Because he loved Blair. And he honestly believed he couldn't help that.
But he could help Serena. He at least had to try.
When she was sure he wasn't going to move anymore, she dropped her arm. It bounced against her thigh and flopped by her side; lifeless. Just as she seemed to be.
'Even if you probably hate me right now, you are still my closest friend. Like it or not, we are family. And at times like this, you shouldn't be alone. It's my duty, as your family, to make sure that doesn't happen.'
'I don't want to be a source of inconvenience for you.' Soft, insecure; he felt like punching a hole in the wall.
'Serena. You never were.'
His voice bounced off every wall around her. The resonance was too much. As much as she wanted to run, as much as she wanted to forget, as much as she knew how it would hurt once he let go again, she found her way into his arms, hiding her face completely between the folds of his coat. There he couldn't see her cry. Fresh tears of mourning; for her grandmother, for her best friend, for the love of her life.
And as he stood there, the palm of his hand smoothing her blond hair, and an arm wrapped tightly around her waist, he didn't feel like an outsider anymore. He felt like he belonged. And he wouldn't let himself think about what that meant; he knew what he would find once he scraped the surface of an obvious truth.
We either sink or swim. But what if they swam?
He loved Blair. He loved Blair. He loved Blair. It became harder and harder to think it. And he couldn't hate himself more than at that point.
A/N: I hated what the writers did at the end of that episode. I couldn't believe, in a million years, that Serena would have to experience such a tragedy and Dan won't even speak to her or comfort her. Even when they had broken up, he was always there for her, and the writers are creating a character I am finding hard to associate with. I need the old Dan, Serena, Chuck and Blair back!
Anyway, here goes my little rant. I hope you enjoy the story! x