So, this is yaoi. I really hate yaoi, I don't normally write it - but it is for a good buddy of mine, so here I am, I guess.
This contains sexual situations and themes (both slash and hetero), one graphic scene, and a shit ton of bad language. Like it, read on. Don't, turn right back around. Can't say much more than that.
During the course of his life, Sidney Kasal had dealt with his share of adversaries.
With his stubborn personality, it was only natural for him to seek out competition with anyone he could, even those he had no reason to compete with at all – finding any reason he could to let his superiority over the general human population shine.
Many had come to learn the hard way that challenging Sidney Kasal would end up with nothing but a loss of dignity and increase in blood pressure, and thus, an unspoken agreement had been formed with Sidney and those who even dreamed of taking him on, that once a battle was opened, it would be seen through to the bitter end.
And this agreement worked for everyone, except certain inanimate objects that apparently didn't get the memo. First it was a vending machine, and now, this – a dead light bulb.
Eyebrows dropped dangerously and pushed down on a set of dark brown eyes, which were impatiently staring through a set of glasses at the current predicament. Sidney stood in the doorway to the storage closet just next to Dr. Stiles and Angie's office, glaring at the once illuminating stand-up lamp, that now held a shattered light bulb underneath its shade.
"We can save the world from incurable diseases, but we can't have overhead lighting in our storage closets…" he muttered, fingers twitching at his side as he contemplated reaching into his pocket for his phone and calling the electrician. His hand stilled itself and instead came to rest on his chin, realizing that instead of taking the easy way out, he would take care of this situation, and THEN have the aforementioned lighting installed. Though he wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing the light bulb's expression of defeat, he would enjoy the victory all the same.
Raising up on his toes he peered into the hole in the lampshade at the top, surveying the damage. The white shade was sharply dented in on one side, tiny sparkles on the inside of the fabric from where the glass from the bulb had shattered when the lamp had been violently knocked into the wall.
"Hmm…" he pondered, lowering his head to the base of the lampshade, trying to figure out how it connected to the lamppost. His nimble fingers reached out and jiggled the metal attachment, a frown growing on his lips when he realized he had absolutely no idea how it worked. Bending at his waist he rummaged around in the toolbox at his feet, gingerly pulling a screwdriver from it as he prepared to figure this out.
As he began unscrewing the screws at the point where the bulb met the tall, metal pole, he couldn't help but let his mind wander, thinking of how this mess had come to be in the first place.
--
"Mmnph...!"
A cry of pleasure was cut short from Sidney's lips before it could fully escape, instead resounding into the open mouth that pressed against his, the inside being thoroughly probed by a soft tongue. It was a surprising chain of events – Sidney thought that Victor really had a question about some supplies in the store room, but when he found himself pulled in by his tie, the door slammed shut behind him, he realized that he had been had. And yet strangely, he didn't seem to mind.
The lamp in the corner of the room was the only light present in the otherwise dark storeroom, casting shadows over the curves of Sidney's body as he was freed of his coverings, clothes now loosely hanging off of him, a pair of wandering hands taking their place. The researcher worked quickly but thoroughly, making sure there wasn't a spot of Sidney's soft skin that wasn't graced with the presence of his tongue.
"Unngh, Victor..." he groaned as the researcher's lips latched onto the sensitive skin on his neck, sucking and nibbling as skinny fingers worked to rid Sidney of his pants. A certain part of him now grew excited in anticipation, his happiness quickly giving way to impatient longing – Victor was apparently having a problem in the pants department.
"Hurry..." Sidney whispered harshly, earning an evil glare from the doctor.
With an annoyed sigh Victor lowered onto his knees and firmly grabbed the fabric on both sides of Sidney's pants at the hip, yanking them completely down in one swift motion; an impressive feat, seeing as they were still buttoned and zipped.
"Now, are you going to apologize for being impatient, or am I going to have to leave you here like this?" Victor teased, working to wrestle the chief's erection through the hole in his black boxer-briefs.
"You know I don't apologize for shit." Sidney retaliated, seeing a smirk creep across his beloved's face.
"And I wouldn't have it any other way..." he replied, mouth lunging forward and attacking Sidney's most sensitive spot, tongue swirling and licking and mouth sucking...
--
Sidney snapped back to present time, two of the three screws now out of the fixture. His dazed smile at the memory quickly faded into a frown, his head shaking when he remembered where it had all gone wrong.
--
"Ohh, V-Vict.. mmngh..."
Arm around his nurse's shoulders, her blonde head resting against his chest, her body in his lap on the couch in their office, Derek Stiles's brown eyes suddenly blinked open, having heard a very strange noise come from somewhere close.
"Did you hear that?" Angie asked him quietly, furthering his curiosity.
"Yeah, you heard it too?" was his reply, his body sitting up just slightly as he tried listening more. "What was that?"
"Ohh, y-yeah, just like that...!"
Angie's head immediately shot off of Derek's shoulder, cocking it up to look him in the face, her mouth wide open as he just laughed. "Someone's having SEX in the storage closet!" she hissed, her suspicions confirmed with another louder set of moans and a loud thud against the door, most likely from flailing body parts.
"Yeah, you're totally right – someone's getting it on..." Derek said with a chuckle, suddenly uncomfortable in his own office. "I guess the question is, who?"
"A-Ah, Victor!"
Derek's eyes shut tightly at the next outburst, wishing he wouldn't have asked the question out loud in the first place. "Never mind..." he replied with a shudder, Angie offsetting it with a giggle and a comforting hug.
"The storage closet, really?" she asked, feeling another shudder roll through Derek. "I mean, really... how tacky..."
Derek raised an eyebrow, unable to suppress the smile that swept his face, remembering some certain events of his own past. "Oh, I see... so, what would you classify doing me on my desk as?" he chuckled, his mind revisiting what had to be one of his favorite days ever.
Angie raised an eyebrow. "I'd call it hot as hell, which I thought was what you said for the entire rest of the week... Oh, and I'd also call it never happening again, if you're going to complain about it..." she replied, her arms crossing as Derek frantically worked to undo his smart-mouth.
"Angie, no! Nonono! I'm sorry!" he pled, seeing her smile and giggle just as another familiar blonde burst through the door.
"Hey lovebirds..." he chirped, leaning against their doorway. "No afternoon fun today, I presume?"
Angie's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You have two seconds to state your case before I kick your ass."
"Alright, alright..." he said. "I can't find the ultrasound that goes in the exam room next to my office anywhere – have you two seen it?"
"Yeah actually, it's in the op—" Angie started to say, her expression angry when Derek nudged her... hard.
"No Ang... don't you remember – it's in the storage closet?" Derek replied, looking at her, all the while trying to hide his evil smile.
She smiled slightly as well, turning back to Tyler. "Oh yeah, I forgot... it's in the closet right there, I put it there earlier."
"Alright, thanks guys...!" the blonde quipped, turning to leave their office as Derek and Angie waved, nearly biting their bottom lips clear off to keep from laughing. Oh, was revenge sweet...
--
"Victor...!" Sidney groaned quietly, gripping onto both sides of the researcher's head as it moved all around, tongue doing things that until this moment, he never knew existed.
His shaking fingers reached for the switch to the lamp to turn it off, stopped in his tracks when a set of teeth clamped down on his member. It would've been painful had it been any harder, but it was successful in catching the chief's attention.
"Don't." Victor said mischievously, raising an eyebrow. "I like to see your face when you go..." he muttered, sending a smoldering stare Sidney's way before his mouth set to work again, nearly dropping the director straight to the floor.
And suddenly, that warm tingling, that precursor to oh so secret release pulsed through Sidney's veins, leaving him breathless in the wake.
"Vic-Victor… I'm... I'm com- I'm going to..."
At his incoherent ramblings the mouth attached to him just worked harder, and faster, and more intensely, bringing Sidney right to the edge...
Until the door opened, cueing the worst possible moment for Tyler Chase, or anyone for that matter, to barge into the tiny storage room.
Because it was at the exact moment the door swung open that Sidney went the distance, yelling once loudly at his explosive orgasm, and a second time as he noticed there was another occupant in the room – and judging by the size of the occupant's eyes, they had seen everything.
"FUCK!" Victor yelled, muffled by the fact that his mouth still latched onto Sidney.
"Oh, SWEET JESUS!" Tyler screamed, backing out of the storage room as fast as he possibly could, his hands over his eyes. He registered the sound of a man and woman laughing hysterically a short distance away, but failed to notice or care, as mental images he never wanted in his head were now swimming through his brain.
"God DAMMIT!" the blonde screamed again, his eyes tightly shut as his hands felt around for the door, finally giving up and just kicking it shut with his foot, resounding a loud bang through the hallway.
"There are STERILE THINGS IN THERE, YOU PERVERTS!" he yelled through the closed door, casting the look of death over to Derek and Angie when he finally noticed them laughing in their office.
At his peak Sidney felt his whole body go nearly numb, shuddering and shaking so hard he nearly lost his balance. But with Dr. Chase's exuberant barging he felt himself trip and fall back, finally pulling away from Victor as he toppled back into the corner, taking the lamp down with him. As a loud crash and bang were heard the storage room was suddenly pitch black, leaving Victor and Sidney to contemplate their next move in the darkness.
And still trying to contain their hysterical laughter, Derek and Angie rose from the couch in their office holding tightly onto each other as they stumbled outside, wiping tears from their eyes as they stared down a very traumatized Tyler. He was hunched over the nurses' station with his head buried in his arm, Leslie's hand gently tracing over his back to soothe him, though she was laughing quietly herself.
With the light of their cell phones both men were able to get dressed, keeping their voices to a minimum as they decided on a plan that would get them both out with as little embarrassment as possible.
Victor removed himself from the closet first in his normally grumpy fashion, giving the finger to Derek who was still trying to calm his incessant laughter. The surgeon just laughed harder as Victor walked away and back towards his lab, leaving Derek, Angie, Tyler, and Leslie to wait for the other occupant of the closet to emerge.
And just a few minutes later, when he finally willed himself to do it, Sidney Kasal stepped out of the storage closet perfectly dressed, and gingerly closed the door behind him like nothing had happened. He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked left to right, taking a step towards the four who just looked on at him scared for what he may do to them.
Sidney sighed and adjusted the glasses on his face, his cheeks still stained a pinkish tint. He was handling this incredibly well.
"Anyone who can tell me where we keep the light bulbs doesn't have to work Christmas." he said, his arms crossed
"Oh! Uhh, in the storage closet next to OR 1!" Angie chirped, hearing the three around her groan.
"Thank you, Nurse Thompson. Dr. Stiles. Nurse Sears…" he rattled off, lowering his head just slightly. "…D-Dr. Chase."
Tyler just shuddered again as Sidney walked off, the comforting rubs from Leslie doing nothing to help him.
"I'm going to go take a sedative…" he grumbled, telling Derek and Angie to shut up as they started laughing again.
--
Pulling the final screw from the light pole, now back from his trip to reminiscing land, Sidney felt a noticeable shudder lance through his body – it was a day that would take a lot of time and a lot of wine to forget about. He turned back to the light pole to see if what he had done was going to bring forth any progress, when Victor popped in the room, scaring him half to death.
"GAHH!" he yelped, placing a hand on his chest. "Don't DO that!"
"Sorry…" was the mumbled reply. "But, what are you doing? You haven't been back to your office all day."
"I'm trying to change the light bulb in this lamp, but it's shattered, so it's giving me a bit of a hard time. But don't worry, I've just figured it out…" Sidney replied with a smirk, pointing at the collection of screws on the floor just next to him.
Victor stepped further into the closet, eyeing the screws and Sidney questioningly. "You took out the screws to get the shade off?"
"Hey now – make sure to keep that door open!"
Sidney watched as Victor's face became instantly enraged at the comment from outside, his hands balling up into tight fists.
"Fuck off, Chase!" he shouted, trying to storm out of the room to get some physical retribution when he was stopped by Sidney's firm grasp on his wrist.
"Let it go, Victor…" he simply said.
With one more death glare out the door Victor turned back towards Sidney, who was now trying to figure out just what he had accomplished, if anything.
"You know that's not going to get off the lampshade, right? The only way to get the lampshade off is by taking out the light bulb."
"Oh nonsense… all I have to do is…"
Sidney's rebuttal was cut off as he lifted up on the attachment, immediately seeing what Victor was talking about. Taking out the screws had detached the light fixture from its accompanying pole, and not only was the shade still attached to the light bulb, the entire unit came off of the pole, now hanging attached only to the cord. Sidney stood still staring down at it blankly, unsure of really what to say.
"Um…"
Victor saw the anger grow in Sidney's eyes and opted to remove himself from the closet slowly, letting him have some time alone with his adversary.
And as Sidney stared on at the light fixture in his discontentment, the only thing that kept him from losing his temper was the sound he heard from outside, bringing a smirk to his lips.
"Chase, I swear to God... I will fucking KILL YOU!"
--
"Excuse me…"
Now seated on the floor to the storage room with the shade, light bulb, cord, and other corresponding parts in his lap, Sidney looked up from his task to see a very skittish Dr. Chase staring back at him.
"I just need to…" he started, motioning over to the back wall of the room, where the supplies were kept.
"Oh yes, of course…" Sidney replied, moving his legs out of the way so Tyler could pass freely. The blonde walked back to the back wall and opened up a few drawers before pulling out a syringe and a small vial of medicine, shortly after walking back out towards the door. He smiled slightly at the sight of Sidney using a screwdriver to try to pry the lampshade from the fixture, before hesitantly speaking up.
"You know, if you're looking to remove a broken light bulb, a potato is the best way."
Sidney looked up with his eyebrows raised. "A potato?"
"Yeah, you've never heard that before?" he asked, seeing Sidney shake his head. "Go buy a big potato and cut it in half short ways… and then push it down on the light bulb. It'll grip it enough so you can twist it and pull it out."
Sidney just blinked in response, nodding slowly. "Hmm… okay, thank you Dr. Chase."
Tyler stood in the doorway as Sidney rose to his feet and moved past him, grabbing his car keys from his pocket as he stepped onto the elevator. Watching him go, Tyler suddenly snapped back into reality, looking around the storage room at the pieces of lamp scattered about. He shook his head and walked out, berated by mental images once again, closing his eyes quickly to think about something else. In his self-induced blindness he crashed directly into Derek, causing the brunette to drop the paperwork in his hands onto the floor.
"You know, it's a lot easier to walk if you have your eyes open…" Derek joked, bending down with Tyler to collect his papers.
"Eh, you deserved it for earlier, anyway…" he retorted, shuddering again, to which Derek just laughed.
"Speaking of which, have you seen Sidney? I have something I need him to sign…" he asked, straightening the papers he had just picked up.
"Um, yeah actually… he just went to go get a potato." Tyler replied without missing a beat, smile wide on his face.
Derek raised an eyebrow and allowed a confused chuckle to escape his lips. "…Potato?"
"Yep, potato. Should be back soon though… later dude."
Derek just stood confused as Tyler walked away from him and around the corner, wondering to himself about this so called potato until Leslie walked up behind him.
"The potato is to get the broken light bulb out of the fixture, Derek…" she said with a smile, passing by him. Derek just sighed and went to thank her, before both of them were interrupted by a screaming voice down the hallway.
"I am GOING to STAB YOU, Chase. STAB YOU, IN THE FACE. STAB!"
Leslie just giggled and Derek followed suit, looking back at her.
"Maybe we should do a better job of keeping Tyler away from Victor?"
--
When Derek had gone to check on his patients, he had left Angie with the task of obtaining the necessary signatures on paperwork he had finished earlier. So when she saw Sidney Kasal step off the elevator and walk in a rushed fashion towards the storage closet, she stepped into his trajectory and smiled, holding out a clipboard to him.
"What, Nurse Thompson? I have things to attend to…"
"This will just take a second…" she replied. "We really need this to get signed so we can take care of it this afternoon."
Sidney said nothing, staring over her shoulder at the dismantled lamp in the storage room.
"Please?" she asked, smiling more.
"Ugh, fine…" he groaned, taking the clipboard from her. With his eyes never even looking at the paper he scribbled away, handing it back to her hastily as he moved past her, and to the closet.
Green eyes grew confused as they scanned over the newly signed document, a small smile making its way onto Angie's face as she looked at the paper again, and then up at Sidney, who was fumbling around with the aforementioned lamp parts in the closet.
"Um, Director Kasal…" she started hesitantly.
"What, Nurse Thompson…?" he snapped, never taking his eyes off the things in his hand.
"I need your real signature, sir…"
He jerked his head up to look at her, eyes flashing dangerously. "I just GAVE you my signature, Angie… now will you plea—"
Sidney's angry spiel was cut off as the clipboard was shoved in front of his face, giving him a look at the line he had just signed – which instead of his signature, was graced with a poor scribbling of the word, "potato".
"Oh for God's sake…" he grumbled. Reaching up he grabbed the clipboard from Angie's hands and put a double line through the 'potato', replacing it with his signature. A faint smirk crossed his lips as he finished and gave it back to her, quickly turning his attention to halving the potato with his pocket knife.
No sooner did she leave and the potato become halved than Sidney was interrupted again, this time turning his head up to see two men holding a large wooden box.
"I'm assuming this is the room you called about, Director Kasal?" the man on the left asked, receiving nothing more than a nod and an unconvincing "uh-huh". Immediately the two men set to work, unwrapping the box to reveal a new overhead light, both of them stepping into the room past Sidney. They took one look at him with a potato and simply shrugged, deciding instead not to pay it any mind. Immediately they set to work on ladders as Sidney pulled the dismantled light fixture into his lap, firmly shoving the halved potato onto the broken light bulb. With a few repositions and a strong hand he was able to turn it until the bulb popped loose, still attached to the potato, yet completely out of the fixture.
"What do you know…" he mused quietly, rising slowly to his feet with the potato in his hand, inspecting it with a smirk. "Apparently…" he thought, "Dr. Chase is smarter than he looks…"
As Sidney stood up he noticed that the lampshade toppled off the fixture as well, now ready to have a new bulb placed inside. He smiled as he left the parts there, walking towards his office with the potato in hand.
--
After returning from his office Sidney walked back into the storage closet to see that the workmen were long gone, Derek, Tyler, Angie, Leslie, and Victor in their place.
"Oh hey – did you see? We have lighting!" Leslie said excitedly, pointing up at the light fixture that Tyler was flipping on and off, the childish grin on his face instantly disappearing when Sidney came into view, another shudder lancing through him as his stare met the ground.
"Yes, that's very nice… excuse me."
He pushed gently past the five and sat down on the floor with the new light bulb in his hand, ready to finish this once and for all.
"Chief – we've got an overhead light… you don't have to worry about it anymore…" Victor mumbled, the other four nodding in agreement. They quickly dispersed over to the nurses' station when he shot them all the look of death, leaving him alone to finish this his way.
He grabbed the screws from the ground and held them tightly in his hand as one by one he reattached the fixture to the pole, smirking to himself as the third screw was screwed in; he shook it once to check its steadiness and then moved on, pulling the shade into his hands. Rising to his feet he undented it as best as he could, placing it on the fixture as his other hand reached up and placed the light bulb in it's respective holder, twisting it with repeated flicks of his wrist until it was firmly in place. Smiling, he bent over and plugged the black cord back into the wall and turned off the new overhead light, his triumphant grin instantly illuminated as the new light bulb went to work, illuminated brightly behind the lamp shade.
From outside the five could see a very happy Sidney flick the lamp on and off repeatedly.
"Finally…" Angie muttered, turning back to the chart in her hand. "He's been at it all day…"
"Wait, what is he doing…?" Derek questioned, snapping all of their attention to Sidney. The chief flipped on the overhead light and reached down in the corner, unplugging the lamp. The fingers of his right hand firmly wrapped around the lamp's pole, lifting it off the ground and holding it at his side as he walked from the storage closet, paying the five watching him no mind as he walked onto the elevator and took it down to the bottom floor.
"That was weird…" Tyler said. "I wonder where he's going with the lamp…"
"Outside apparently." Leslie said matter-of-factly, everyone joining her at the window. Indeed Sidney was now outside, walking through Caduceus's parking lot with the lamp still in hand. They watched with sporadic laughs as Sidney walked to the giant dumpster and vaulted the lamp in, brushing off his hands and smiling as he turned to walk back in.
"Oh, Sidney…" Victor said under his breath, trying to fight back a smile as he shook his head slowly back and forth.
"Why did he even keep working on it if he was just going to get overhead lighting anyway?" Angie asked.
"You guys, just don't understand how Sidney works…" Victor grumbled. "Didn't matter if it was pointless, the man doesn't give up until he wins. And apparently, winning to him was pitching the lamp for giving him so much trouble."
Angie just shrugged and walked back to her office, quickly followed by Derek who scooped her up with a giggle and kicked the office door shut behind them. Tyler and Leslie walked away chatting as well, leaving Victor grumbling in their wake. As he found himself alone, he wondered where Sidney had gone – but a short elevator ride later, he found his answer.
"Hey, there you are…" he said as he walked into Sidney's office, closing the door softly behind him.
"So, didn't want the lamp, eh?" Victor asked, seeing Sidney smile.
"I got what I wanted." he replied. "Oh, and a new paperweight as well…"
Victor's eyes traced down to Sidney's desk, a stack of papers now held down by half of a potato with the end of a light bulb sticking out of it. He just chuckled at the sight as Sidney rose from his desk and paced towards him, eyes wide and questioning.
"Now…" Sidney said with a smile. "Where were we?"